We spend most of our day on the internet, and we have a few favorite sites that we frequent more often than others. Your favorite internet site says a lot about who you are as a person, but sometimes the message you think it's sending is not always the one that comes across. Here's what your favorite website says about you:
What You Think It Says: I am a person who loves to learn, and Google is a great place to learn about anything. You can just type a question, and you'll be rewarded with seventy pages of the same answer. For me, Google is FUN-damental. Get it?
What It Really Says: I might be a retarded person. Seriously. This morning, I Googled "how to get dressed", then right after that I Googled "Can I wear bologna to work if it's in the shape of a t-shirt?" Then, right after that, I Googled "I have glass in my ass because I ate a pickle jar backwards. What do I do now?" Does that make me retarded? I'd better Google that.
What You Think It Says: I'm smarter than the average web surfer. I like reading articles written by smart people and engaging in conversations about those articles with equally smart people. I have no tolerance for stupid idiots, and I LOVE internet humor, which is why I love Digg: it's the perfect blend of smart content and silly, ridiculous time-wasters.
What It Really Says: My office blocks all the nasty f*cking sites I normally go to. This is all I have.
What You Think It Says: I'm a worldly guy, and I like to keep tabs on what's happening on a global scale. CNN.com is the most trusted source of news, so why wouldn't I rely on them to stay updated online?
What It Really Says: I can't read. All of CNN.com's news stories are in video form. I'll tell you more about it after this 30-second pre-roll ad for diapers.
Where You've Seen Her: Alice Eve is a really hot up and coming actress. From Britain, her accent and boobs have gotten acclaim out here in the states, and is most notably in the new movie She's Out of Your League, about a nerd who's in love with the hot chick. Ah, it's women like Alice Eve that makes nerds think such things are even possible.
Pointless Quote: "There is an acting gene that's been passed down by my parents. It's nature, not nurture."
We finally remembered the password to our Twitter account, so we're back on the scene. To celebrate, we've decided to give away a Wii as a thinly-veiled ploy to get more followers. In case you think we're lying about this (and we wouldn't blame you if you did), here's a photo of the aforementioned Wii:
HOW TO WIN IT:
GO HEREand follow us on Twitter. Tomorrow afternoon (3/12/2010) at 3pm, we will choose one new follower at random, and that follower will receive this brand new Wii, which you can put under the Wii that you already have for added stability, or sell on E-bay for about $50. For added motivation, here's a picture we found that illustrates just how much fun you can have on a Wii:
IMPORTANT: If you don't win the Wii from this contest, don't be discouraged. We're planning on using our Twitter almost exclusively for contests and giveaways, so there will be many more opportunities. Now please: follow us at www.twitter.com/holytaco so that our parents will see that we're actually accomplishing something with our lives. Good luck!
Powerpoint Presentations are really boring. They're always about something super-lame, like "Quarterly Sales" or "Annual Net Profits". We'd like to see some powerpoints about things that really matter, like what to do if you shit your pants. That's why we decided to create a powerpoint to walk you through How to Fart in Public. (Hit the big right arrow button to see the next page.)
Where You've Seen Her: Gabrielle Union is a model and actress who's way too hot for her own good. Getting her start in movies like Bring it On and 10 Things I Hate About You, she eventually worked her way up to being in Bad Boys II, which is one of the best movies ever made. Ever.
Pointless Quote: "Thank god for J-Lo. All of a sudden big asses are de rigueur."
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