25 Alternate Names for Kanye West’s New Album
Kanye West’s new album is called Yeezus. He debuted 2 new songs on SNL – Black skinheads and New Slaves, the most predictably Kanye West named songs ever. Because if there’s one thing you can count on from Kanye West it’s over the top melodrama.
By:Ian Fortey|May 20, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Reggie Rolled
Best lyrics? Mhhmm huhaan hhuh hggrr aaann hheee
By:Ian Fortey|May 20, 2013
Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: May 17th
Last week was all about Iron Man again because of course it was, all it had as competition was The Great Gatsby. This week a new brand of nerdism rears its ugly head and storms into theaters. Will any other movie have a chance? Ha ha ha, of course not.
By:Ian Fortey|May 17, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Guardians of Language
Stephen Fry knows all about ass gravy and language, yo.
By:Ian Fortey|May 17, 2013
6 of the Worst Drinks in the World
Bartenders of the world come from three schools. Those who care about customers, those who don’t and those who hate them. The hateful ones are the ones that make up disgusting shots for others to try to fight their way through and no one knows why they partake of them at all. Just because you can mix to arguably drinkable substances together doesn’t mean you should or that the resulting mixture isn’t toxic. But here we are. I literally tried four of these before I gave up and decided to just write about how I imagine the rest would be.
By:Ian Fortey|May 16, 2013
The Morning Jolt: An Acquired Taste
This is a PSA - if you're not watching Bob's Burgers you're letting the terrorists win.
By:Ian Fortey|May 16, 2013
6 Show Ideas to Put the Nail in NBC’s Coffin
NBC seems determined to ruin itself as a television network. They’ve scourged their comedy lineup, they rejected a show by the hilarious comedian John Mulaney and, to top it off, they decided to renew Celebrity Apprentice because why should anyone ever watch the network again? It’s ranking behind all other major networks and Univision.
By:Ian Fortey|May 15, 2013
The Complete Mental Breakdown of a Restaurant Owner
If you don't watch Kitchen Nightmares you've missed out on something remarkable in the last week, something that has boiled over from TV and into social media and, presumably, a mental asylum somewhere in Arizona as the owners of a restaurant featured on the show are literally losing their minds on the internet in a bizarre, mind-altering fight against perceived enemies and haters.
By:Ian Fortey|May 14, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Ducks, Sharks and Aussies
How did I miss this full video and only see that little celebratory meme? The whole video is awesome!
By:Ian Fortey|May 14, 2013
25 Things You Shouldn’t Have Done for Mother’s Day
Why not write this article before Mother’s Day so you could avoid all of this stuff? Because this about regret and you don’t regret things you didn’t screw up yet, you regret the ones you screwed up badly. If you did any of this yesterday, feel bad. It was wrong.
By:Ian Fortey|May 13, 2013
Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 10th
Last week, predictable, Iron Man 3 made all the money ever. According to Box Office Mojo it now holds the #2 spot for the greatest gap in box office take between the top grossing film and the second top grossing film in the same week. Iron Man 3 was #1 with about $175 million. Pain and Gain was #2 with about $7 million. That’s a big ass gap alright.
By:Ian Fortey|May 10, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Pumpcast News
I'm not a fan of Jay Leno but this was a good bit thanks to this couple.
By:Ian Fortey|May 10, 2013
The 4 Best Dreams to Lucid Dream
A company called Bitbanger Labs has created the Remee, a sleep mask that purports to give you lucid dreams. A lucid dream, of course, is a dream in which you are conscious and aware of dreaming. This mask, then, turns your head into Inception and you can do whatever you want in that dreamworld because why not? The concept sounds pretty awesome but since most people have never had a lucid dream, it’s hard to know what you’re missing or what you can look forward to if this mask really works.
By:Ian Fortey|May 9, 2013
5 Things I Never Want To See a Ghost Do Again
I’ve mentioned my distaste for ghosts in horror movies before bit I feel like the message really needs to be clarified. I just found out Paranormal Activity 5 comes out this year and, frankly, I’m absolutely disgusted. God, those are bad movies. Why do they keep getting made? Who keeps watching them? Stop it!
By:Ian Fortey|May 8, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Zach Galifianakis and the Lonely Island
Lonely Island knows what Spring Break is about.
By:Ian Fortey|May 8, 2013
7 Kinds of Pet Videos on Youtube
The internet is a solid 70% pet videos, the rest of it is useless government websites, flash games, porn, Holy Taco, and instructional videos on DIY home projects. People just really love uploading millions of inane pet videos and all of them generally fall into one of seven categories. These are those 7 categories and, it should be noted, we probably don’t need any more of these videos for a while. We have lots, thanks.
By:Ian Fortey|May 7, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Frodo Falls and Cries and Jizzes
No one ever needs to make videos like this but thank God they do.
By:Ian Fortey|May 7, 2013
Daily Links
Best of Taco
Holy links
Popular Tacos
- Our 700 Billion Dollar Bailout Conspiracy Theory
- When You Gotta Go you Gotta Go
- 5 Toppings I Never Want to See on a Burger
- 6 of the Worst Drinks in the World
- 25 Insane ScarificationTattoos
- The 8 Places You Probably Lost Your Virginity
- The 9 Worst Roommates You Will Ever Have
- 25 Zombie Girls
- 10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don't
- Denise Milani
