The Walking Carl: Chapter 8
Oh my God, this is the worst day of my life. Please, please understand how weighty that statement is. Almost everyone I have ever met is not only dead, but resurrected as a shambling pile of rotting flesh that wants to eat me, I’m barely eking out survival with my parents who mildly hate each other right now and a small group of strangers, the only other person my age was turned into a zombie then shot in the face by my dad and I have had to learn how to shoot people in the brain. But this, today, is just awful.
By:Ian Fortey|May 21, 2012
Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: May 18th
Last week we recommended you mostly ignore the movies playing and go see the Avengers again, and it looks like you did, once again proving Holy Taco has eerie, fictional-gypsy style powers of film prognostication. We’re kind of spooky. Sexy spooky.
By:Ian Fortey|May 18, 2012
The 7 Types of People Who Watch Game of Thrones
HBO’s Game of Thrones has cemented itself as an awesome, epic fantasy/drama series chock full of boobies and a couple of dragons. It’s huge and everyone loves it except for a handful of vociferous haters. Shit, did we just use vociferous in a sentence? Ugh. Gotta move onto the graphic now.
By:Ian Fortey|May 17, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Punk
Just watching this will make you so punk you'll ovetrhtrow the government in a fit of anarchist glee.
By:Ian Fortey|May 17, 2012
The 6 Times You Actually Need a Cell Phone
It’s 2012 and people in 3rd world countries who can’t afford clean water or food have cell phones. There are people, right now, flopping poop patties into rusted wheelbarrows talking on their cell phones to guys the next country over who are unloading the poop flops into baskets to take to market in a society where people pay for baskets of shit. They pay for the shit baskets with bottle caps and monkeys paws because they don’ even have real money. But dammit, they have cellular service.
By:Ian Fortey|May 16, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Free Energy
I've never heard of this stuff which is clearly knocking off red Bull, but I want some now.
By:Ian Fortey|May 16, 2012
How to Rock n Roll All Night (and Party Every Day)
So, you want to fulfill the boner-infused dreams of every teenager in existence, good for you! It’s the greatest gift a person can give to themselves to just bust loose and have such a great time you either remember it forever and remember absolutely none of it.
By:Ian Fortey|May 15, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Comedy Hate Mail
The only explanation I have for why I keep posting stand up vids is that a stand up comedian used to work here. I dunno, this stuff makes me laugh. Plus "porking" is made reference to. Funny.
By:Ian Fortey|May 15, 2012
The Walking Carl: Chapter 7
Took a walk into the deep woods last night and you’re not going to believe this, I met someone! Not like zombie Stephen Hawking either, I found a real dude in a house. His name is Ben, he’s in the attic of this old farm house that’s half boarded up. I guess it was overrun by zombies a while ago, but seems pretty empty now.
By:Ian Fortey|May 14, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Crazy Pajama Drum Man
No idea what else to call this, but watch this crazy, hipster dude tear up the drums with some street performers. Then presumably go home and drink peyote tea.
By:Ian Fortey|May 14, 2012
Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: May 11th
Last week we gave a strong recommendation to the Avengers, sight unseen, and it made more money in its opening weekend than Canada has made in its entire history as a beaver-producing township. This indicates we have pretty stunning precognitive powers, at least when it comes to the potential awesomeness of film and also totally validates the existence of this feature appearing every week on Holy Taco.
By:Ian Fortey|May 11, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Johnny Knoxville in Germany
This is an old one but man, watching a man cry is always a little bit funny.
By:Ian Fortey|May 11, 2012
5 Things Your Girlfriend Says and What They Really Mean
Sometimes it's hard to tell what a woman means when she says something. So we made some translations.
By:Ian Fortey|May 10, 2012
The Morning Jolt: More Like Awesome
The fact this seriously made me laugh is why it needs to be seen. Its pretty stupid though.
By:Ian Fortey|May 10, 2012
6 Examples of Scumbag Fine Print
Fine print exists because of assholes. People who legally need to let you know something but really don’t want you to know something because it’s ridiculous put it in tiny print where you’re not likely to ever notice it. Many times it’s just mundane details, sometimes it’s absolutely preposterous.
By:Ian Fortey|May 9, 2012
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