When to Say Retard

September 2nd, 2010 | 06:00 am

palin retard

Like us, you may have been surprised to learn (about 20 years ago) that some people frown on the use of the word retard. And every time it’s said again, the same problem pops up. For 20 years! It’s a hilariously retarded misunderstanding that will never go away until someone comes up with a funnier replacement for the word retard. Keep on trucking, mentally challenged. You’re almost there!


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Rosario Dawson Pictures

September 1st, 2010 | 11:05 pm
 
Where You've Seen Her: Rosario Dawson is a face and body we all know.  She was the only good part of Alexander, and was hot as hell in Sin City and Death Proof.  More recently, she's due to be in the new Denzel Movie Unstoppable, which I'm assuming is about how every male in the movie wants to lay a train on her.
 
Pointless Quote: "People in hollywood don't have that much sex.  Or at least I don't."
 

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Hypnotized Wheelchair Faceplant

September 1st, 2010 | 05:15 pm
 
9 Most Embarrassing Sports Celebrity Endorsements (Videos) (TotalProSports)
 
9 Things Guys Would Never Do If Women Didn’t Exist (Guyism)
 
Amateur Stripper vs. Faulty Stipper Pole (GorillaMask)
 
Extremely Tired Animals Passed Out (WildAmmo)
 
6 Things Paris Hilton Would Be Doing If She Wasn’t An Heiress (EgoTV)
 
Hot Girls and Gadgets (Maxim)
 
Inception Parody of the Day (The Daily What)
 
Vigo the Carpathian Needs a Job (ScreenJunkies)
 
10 NBA Stars That Could Be in the UFC (BleacherReport)
 
Pulp Ravioli (DoubleViking)
 
20 Mind-Blowing Vintage Cigarette Ads (SuperTremendous)
 
If Legs Are Your Thing, This Is Your Video (AskMen)
 
Spencer Pratt Shelves “Speidi” Sex Tape (PopCrunch)
 
5 Keys to Hooking Up with Incoming Freshmen (BroBible)
  
Ben Franklin: It’s All About the Cougars (TheSmokingJacket)
 
10 More Images Of Sorority Hotties (OnCampuDrama)
 
Wine Pong (AdultSwim)
 
Drunk Girls and Dog Doors Do Not Mix (DailyRevelry)
 
Hungover Owls (LemonDrop)
 
Hottest Flight Attendants (TotallyCrap)
 
 

Deep-Fried Beer: The Future Is Now

September 1st, 2010 | 04:05 pm

beer deep-fried in texas

Computers and cellphones aside, the future isn’t exactly what I had expected. I’ve yet to drive a hover-car, my home is not filled with holograms, and the closest I can get to a sexbot is duct taping my Fleshlight to my Roomba. No, this isn’t at all the world I envisioned as a child. But all of that is about to change thanks to a man, or should I say hero, named Mark Zable.

Zable, a chef from Texas, has spent the past three years perfecting a recipe that will revolutionize the way Americans (and Canadians) become both overweight and intoxicated. His hard work has finally paid off, and the culinary creator is set to unveil his creation at the Texas State Fair in late September. The invention in question: deep-fried beer.


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If Vegas Escort Ads Were Accurate

September 1st, 2010 | 02:15 pm

hokker ads

Anyone who has been to Vegas is familiar with the abundance of escort advertisements plastered around the city. From immigrants handing out cards on the street to the mobile billboards driving up and down the strip, no other town in the U.S. is so in your face about its hookers.

The problem is, most of these ads seem grossly misleading. The idea that I'm going to get a girl that looks like a Playboy centerfold to come to my room for a mere $69 is insulting. In order to rectify the situation, we've mocked up these accurate Vegas escort ads. Enjoy.


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Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park: Most Blatant Rip Off Of Anything Ever

September 1st, 2010 | 12:08 pm

Disney
 

Every Chinatown on earth is known for one thing: the easy procurement of terrible knock-offs. With this international legacy in mind, the country of China decided to show Chinatowns across the global how knock off were done by taking the concept several thousand steps too far. Instead of making their usual line of Rolex’s whose winders are nothing more than gold painted self-destruct buttons; they decided to rip off Disneyland…all of it.


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The Wendy's Instructional Rap

September 1st, 2010 | 10:00 am

 

Keep You Eye On The Ball FAIL! (TotalProSports)
Hyper-Realistic Paintings of Still Life (WildAmmo)
Stupid Things Guys Do to Impress Girls (Askmen)
Interested In Seeing A Nuts-Style Space Hopper Race? (GorillaMask)
“The Human Toilet” Goal Celebration (Buzzfeed)
Two Elephants 1 Trunk (evilchili)
This Is What You`re Missing On TV, Part 23 (IAmBored)
Paris Is Screwed (CelebSlam)
Salma Hayek And Her Uber Cleavage Hit The Town (Popoholic)
Geeky Geography of the Day (TheDailyWhat)
I enjoy the crotch thrusts (FilmDrunk)
Recipes For Success #5 – Dressing Like a Champ (FunnyCrave)
Woman Breastfeeds Motherless Cow (BarStoolSports)
Babes of the US Open 2010 (COEDMagazine)
Full Metal Disney (Manofest)
Stealth Evangelism Now Invading Video Games (Unreality)
It's the World Testicle Cooking Championship (Asylum)

25 Hilarious Football Fails

September 1st, 2010 | 08:00 am
Football Fail
 
Let's get one thing clear here. When we say "football" fails, we're talking about the real football. The kind you play with your hands. Here are 25 videos of people playing real football in a real bad way.
 

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Things We Learned at the 2010 Fan Expo

September 1st, 2010 | 06:00 am

If you tuned in Monday, you saw that managing editor Ian Fortey and a team of highly train and nubile young photographers recently attended Toronto’s Fan Expo, a massive geek fiesta that featured guests like William Shatner, Lance Henrikson, Stan Lee and some West asshole. But there was far more to the experience than what a simple miscommunication with Batman and a gallery of girls no one liked implies. So with little further ado, here’s a rundown of everything else you need to know about Fan Expo 2010 and, in a way, everything you need to know about cons in general.


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Jung Yuri Pictures

August 31st, 2010 | 11:05 pm
 
Where You've Seen Her: Jung Yuri was Koreas Top Model last year, and basically embodies everything hot in a hot Korean girl.  Now all she needs to do is win a couple Starcraft matches and she will be the Queen of Seoul.
 
Pointless Quote: "Love just who you are."
 

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Ian Fortey-Managing Editor
Adam Brown-Editor
Luis Prada-Editor