Where You've Seen Her: Tiffani Thiessen is someone we've all wanted to do nasty things to, personality aside.  A beauty pageant winner, she went on to star in Saved By The Bell and then Beverly Hills 90210, which was a totally awesome show...now she's in White Collar, which will never be as good...never.

 

MILF Status: Tiffani just got pregnant from her husband Brady Smith and are expecting a child in May.  Maybe they'll name her Valerii.  Remember? The ugly girl from 90210? Of course you don't. She was the ugly one.

 

There are no good videos on the internet today, so here's one of our favorite old clips, featuring Chicago news anchors Robert Jordan and Jackie Bange. Yeah, that's right: her last name is Bang...with an E at the end.

 

 

This video contains upwards of five different videos of fat people doing things. Your welcome.

 

If there's one thing we like to do more than spending way to much time looking for hot girl pics on the internet, it's argue about really stupid things.  This week, we're arguing about who we'd rather fight: 25 5-year olds with knives, or 25 100-year olds with knives:

I want to fight kids so bad that I have to restrain myself whenever I walk past a schoolyard or a daycare center.  I'm just itching for any reason to beat up a little kid, and I mean really beat them up.  I'm talking about punching and kicking with full force, not that restrained "I'm fighting with little kids at the mall again" force that you usually have to use.  I want to kick some serious kid ass.  25 of those kids running at me with knives is a perfect, completely justifiable excuse to do just that, and I'd certainly rather fight kids than old people.  Sure, little kids have a lot of energy and old people don't.  But old people have experience on their side.  There's a good chance that many of the old people you'd be fighting in this situation have been in knife fights before, or at least know how to handle a knife after 100 years of life. A 5-year old kid, on the other hand, probably hasn't even held a knife before, let alone been in an actual knife fight.  5-year old kids also weigh about 45 pounds.  That's the perfect weight for something that I'm about to kick the shit out of.  Old people are brittle, and once you knock them down they're probably going to break a hip or slip a disc and stay down, but old people are a hell of a lot heavier than kids are.  Have you ever seen a 5-year old run? They just lean their big fat heads forward and follow the momentum.  They're basically just scrambling under their giant head-weight to not fall the whole time, so as long as you aim for the head, their body will follow and they'll be super-easy to knock down. Sure, they'll probably get back up, and I should hope they do.  I'm planning on beating the living shit out of these kids. If they stay down after the first round-kick to the throat, I'm going to be sorely disappointed.  Also, old people are really creepy.  I'd definitely rather fight kids than old people.

 

 

A little boy goes on a morning talk show to show off the alien he found on the side of the road. It's adorable. 

 

Fans Fight Over Hockey Stick [video] (TotalProSports)