Like us, you may have been surprised to learn (about 20 years ago) that some people frown on the use of the word retard. And every time it’s said again, the same problem pops up. For 20 years! It’s a hilariously retarded misunderstanding that will never go away until someone comes up with a funnier replacement for the word retard. Keep on trucking, mentally challenged. You’re almost there!

Computers and cellphones aside, the future isn’t exactly what I had expected. I’ve yet to drive a hover-car, my home is not filled with holograms, and the closest I can get to a sexbot is duct taping my Fleshlight to my Roomba. No, this isn’t at all the world I envisioned as a child. But all of that is about to change thanks to a man, or should I say hero, named Mark Zable.

Zable, a chef from Texas, has spent the past three years perfecting a recipe that will revolutionize the way Americans (and Canadians) become both overweight and intoxicated. His hard work has finally paid off, and the culinary creator is set to unveil his creation at the Texas State Fair in late September. The invention in question: deep-fried beer.

Anyone who has been to Vegas is familiar with the abundance of escort advertisements plastered around the city. From immigrants handing out cards on the street to the mobile billboards driving up and down the strip, no other town in the U.S. is so in your face about its hookers.

The problem is, most of these ads seem grossly misleading. The idea that I'm going to get a girl that looks like a Playboy centerfold to come to my room for a mere $69 is insulting. In order to rectify the situation, we've mocked up these accurate Vegas escort ads. Enjoy.

Every Chinatown on earth is known for one thing: the easy procurement of terrible knock-offs. With this international legacy in mind, the country of China decided to show Chinatowns across the global how knock off were done by taking the concept several thousand steps too far. Instead of making their usual line of Rolex’s whose winders are nothing more than gold painted self-destruct buttons; they decided to rip off Disneyland…all of it.

If you tuned in Monday, you saw that managing editor Ian Fortey and a team of highly train and nubile young photographers recently attended Toronto’s Fan Expo, a massive geek fiesta that featured guests like William Shatner, Lance Henrikson, Stan Lee and some West asshole. But there was far more to the experience than what a simple miscommunication with Batman and a gallery of girls no one liked implies. So with little further ado, here’s a rundown of everything else you need to know about Fan Expo 2010 and, in a way, everything you need to know about cons in general.