Five Lies I’ve Told While Being Unemployed
Look at you, walking around all jobless and what not. It's pathetic! You're probably feeling like garbage, if you're being honest with yourself. Well, there's a simple solution to that problem: Stop being so honest with yourself. You should also stop being honest with others. Particularly about your job situation.
By:Jim Tews|February 10, 2012
The Next Great Zombie Evolution
Zombies are one of the most versatile monsters in fiction. From its humble roots as a ghoul hungry for flesh, the zombie now comes in more flavors than Baskin Robbins. We have intelligent zombies, fast zombies, feeling zombies with undead manginas, zombies stalked by hilarious zombie killers and zombies that use machine guns and the odd garden hoe. The story of zombies keeps evolving, from the creatures themselves, to the worlds they inhabit.
By:Ian Fortey|February 10, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Let the Bullets Fly
China, your food is awesome and this is awesome. I don't give a shit what Donald Trump says, I'll always love you, you Communist nut.
By:Ian Fortey|February 10, 2012
The Truth About Rhinos
We just blindly assume we know everything there is to know about the noble rhinoceros. We know they have a horn on their face and we know that they look like cows built for war. That's all we know, and that's all we need to know...or so we thought. Regretful Morning wakes us up, pulls back the veil, and enlightens us to the harsh truth about rhino that we've always chosen to ignore. After finding out this truth, your perception of the world will be altered -- forever.
By:Luis Prada|February 9, 2012
The Joys of Photographing Strippers
Our friends at BroBible get it -- Photographing strippers can be a fun and engaging hobby. Click here to read (and see) more of what else you can get out of it.
By:admin|February 9, 2012
Pizza Hut Is Offering a $10,010 Proposal In a Box Pizza Deal
For the very precise price of $10,010, Pizza Hut is giving its customers the opportunity to purchase a Tie The Knot Dinner Box meal, which includes a ruby engagement ring, a fireworks display, and a medium one-topping pizza with five breadsticks and ten cinnamon sticks, for romantic types that want to pop the question but think sporting event Kisscam proposals aren’t classy enough.
By:Luis Prada|February 9, 2012
GIF Attack!
For some reason, this is one of the funniest GIFs I've ever seen.
By:Luis Prada|February 9, 2012
Stallone and Schwarzenegger Have A Post-Surgery Chat
After filming "The Expendables 2," Sly and Arnold needed to get a little work done, because men their age shouldn't be doing stunts, their bones are brittle and their tendons are like silly putty. If we didn't live in such an advanced age of medicine, these two would be passing on movies like "The Expendables" and opting for more age-appropriate things like reviving the old Bartles & Jaymes commercials or promoting diabetes testing supply companies. What follows is the conversation that may or may not have taken place as the two men fought through their post-surgery haze:
By:Jim Tews|February 9, 2012
25 Craptastic Hats
Choosing an appropriate hat clearly takes more effort than you'd think. Wear one of these and there's a good chance people will cross the street to avoid you.
By:Ian Fortey|February 9, 2012
6 Types of Girls You’ll Meet on a Reality Dating Show
Right now there is a dating show on TV. Flick through the channels, it’s there. From decrepit reruns of Chuck Woolery’s Love Connection to Excused, the 5th Wheel, the Bachelor, Flavor of Love and a few thousand others, the idea that you could meet someone who is not a soulless abomination in jeggings on a television show has fascinated mankind for decades now. But just what sort of person has given up on humanity so thoroughly that they’d seek to find love on TV? Let’s peruse!
By:Ian Fortey|February 9, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Thin Ice
If everyone in Norway is like this guy, I'm there.
By:Ian Fortey|February 9, 2012
Cynics Agree: Wal-Mart’s Slogan For Health Foods, “Good For You,” is Extremely Sarcastic
Call it a trend, call it a movement that’s here to stay, the fact remains: food chains are making strides when it comes to providing you with healthier options, whether it be on menus if they’re restaurants or on their shelves if they’re grocery stores. If you want some healthy alternatives to the classic junk foods you love, it seems every grocery store has an aisle or two entirely devoted to a version of your favorite snack that won’t convert your feces from a solid in to a liquid. Even Wal-Mart is getting in the game.
By:Luis Prada|February 8, 2012
Babies Are Not Exercise Equipment(?)
Great news, everyone! If you're looking to drop some of that post-baby weight, you're in luck. Turns out, the fitness solution you've been searching for is the very thing that caused your problem in the first place. No, not unprotected sex, we're talking about the baby! That's right, your favorite new piece of workout equipment is currently crying and shitting itself in the other room.
By:Jim Tews|February 8, 2012
Holytaco Buzz: Incident at Hole 13
Golf can be a fun and relaxing sport...until someone impales someone else with a golf club. That's right -- the Eagle Lake golf course in Texas witnessed a B-horror movie level atrocity when two groups of golfers got in an argument about the speed of the game, ending with one man impaling another's leg. To top it all off, it all happened at Hole 13, which just cries Lloyd Kaufman to make a horror movie about this. Don't mess with Texas, I guess.
By:Noah G|February 8, 2012
Google Voice Made More Useless!
If you guys think Google Voice is as useless as we do, you're not alone. Our friends at Guyism map out their newest feature, and how you can officially thank them for making your life even more unnecessarily complicated.
By:admin|February 8, 2012
25 Homemade Weapons
Everyone thinks guns and ninja stars are cool, but there's so much cooler when you make them yourself at home from old pop cans and stray socks.
By:Ian Fortey|February 8, 2012
The 5 Strongest Reasons to Oppose Gay Marriage
Gay people getting married has consumed more of our collective time in the last decade or so than any of us could possibly imagine. Many of you probably think all of this effort to stop two people from getting married could have been better spent focusing on literally any other aspect of society that needs real solutions – from crime to poverty to the environment. But you’d be wrong.
By:Ian Fortey|February 8, 2012
The Morning Jolt: FDR American Badass
If you only see one movie about an ex-President killing monsters, make it this one (there are actually several to choose from).
By:Ian Fortey|February 8, 2012
Anne Hathaway’s Basic Instinct Audition
So Sharon Stone may be known for her work on the Paul Verhoven classic Basic Instinct, but Anne Hathaways Audition piece Celebjihad whipped up for us just might take the cake.
By:admin|February 7, 2012
Daily Links
Best of Taco
Holy links
Popular Tacos
- Five Ridiculous Fast Food Promotions
- Have a Michelle Baker Christmas
- Horizontal Stripes Make You Look Fat
- Bacon Beats Fries!
- "C Me Dance" Is A Movie Everyone Needs To See
- Spoiler Alert: Richard's Career Dies at the End
- Dr. Richard Hawkins and Emma Watson
- The 12 Deviant Days of Christmas: 9 Rotting Reindeer
- The Next Great Zombie Evolution
- Fish Punchers!
