The Complete Mental Breakdown of a Restaurant Owner
If you don't watch Kitchen Nightmares you've missed out on something remarkable in the last week, something that has boiled over from TV and into social media and, presumably, a mental asylum somewhere in Arizona as the owners of a restaurant featured on the show are literally losing their minds on the internet in a bizarre, mind-altering fight against perceived enemies and haters.
By:Ian Fortey|May 14, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Ducks, Sharks and Aussies
How did I miss this full video and only see that little celebratory meme? The whole video is awesome!
By:Ian Fortey|May 14, 2013
25 Things You Shouldn’t Have Done for Mother’s Day
Why not write this article before Mother’s Day so you could avoid all of this stuff? Because this about regret and you don’t regret things you didn’t screw up yet, you regret the ones you screwed up badly. If you did any of this yesterday, feel bad. It was wrong.
By:Ian Fortey|May 13, 2013
Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 10th
Last week, predictable, Iron Man 3 made all the money ever. According to Box Office Mojo it now holds the #2 spot for the greatest gap in box office take between the top grossing film and the second top grossing film in the same week. Iron Man 3 was #1 with about $175 million. Pain and Gain was #2 with about $7 million. That’s a big ass gap alright.
By:Ian Fortey|May 10, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Pumpcast News
I'm not a fan of Jay Leno but this was a good bit thanks to this couple.
By:Ian Fortey|May 10, 2013
The 4 Best Dreams to Lucid Dream
A company called Bitbanger Labs has created the Remee, a sleep mask that purports to give you lucid dreams. A lucid dream, of course, is a dream in which you are conscious and aware of dreaming. This mask, then, turns your head into Inception and you can do whatever you want in that dreamworld because why not? The concept sounds pretty awesome but since most people have never had a lucid dream, it’s hard to know what you’re missing or what you can look forward to if this mask really works.
By:Ian Fortey|May 9, 2013
5 Things I Never Want To See a Ghost Do Again
I’ve mentioned my distaste for ghosts in horror movies before bit I feel like the message really needs to be clarified. I just found out Paranormal Activity 5 comes out this year and, frankly, I’m absolutely disgusted. God, those are bad movies. Why do they keep getting made? Who keeps watching them? Stop it!
By:Ian Fortey|May 8, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Zach Galifianakis and the Lonely Island
Lonely Island knows what Spring Break is about.
By:Ian Fortey|May 8, 2013
7 Kinds of Pet Videos on Youtube
The internet is a solid 70% pet videos, the rest of it is useless government websites, flash games, porn, Holy Taco, and instructional videos on DIY home projects. People just really love uploading millions of inane pet videos and all of them generally fall into one of seven categories. These are those 7 categories and, it should be noted, we probably don’t need any more of these videos for a while. We have lots, thanks.
By:Ian Fortey|May 7, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Frodo Falls and Cries and Jizzes
No one ever needs to make videos like this but thank God they do.
By:Ian Fortey|May 7, 2013
25 Other Iron Men That Iron Man 3 Needed
If you saw Iron Man 3 this weekend, you noticed it’s packed to the gills with Iron Men. There’s the new Mark 42 armor, and Iron Patriot armor, an aquatic suit, a Brute suit made for lifting, Asgardian Destroyer armor and a whole bunch of others. It’s a pantload of Iron Men. An Iron Extravaganza. But should there have been more? Better Iron Men? More useful Iron Men? Yes. Yes there should have.
By:Ian Fortey|May 6, 2013
The Morning Jolt: The Science of Ice Cream
True fact: I make that same sound if I'm making a joke about breast feeding.
By:Ian Fortey|May 6, 2013
It’s Cinco de Mayo: Sink some Miracle Whip!
Being a vaguely Mexican-themed website as we are, obviously we’re going to do something for Cinco de Mayo. Thing is it’s Saturday and we never do anything on Saturday because we’re usually under house arrest on weekends.
By:Ian Fortey|May 4, 2013
Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 3rd
What a joke of an article this is going to be, in stark contrast to the usual seriousness of a series that solely exists for me to judge movies I have never and in most cases will never watch. That said, this week is especially delightful because come on – you don’t need that fortune telling robot machine from Big to figure out what this week’s big winner will be. Nonetheless, I have a job to do. Onward!
By:Ian Fortey|May 3, 2013
The Morning Jolt: How to Snapchat
This makes too much sense. Also, eggplant emoji.
By:Ian Fortey|May 3, 2013
What To Do With a GoPro Camera
Some years ago I was given a GoPro camera and I promptly forgot I owned it and put it away somewhere only to just recently find it again. It’s a GoPro Hero HD 960 camera and its main purpose seems to be to take video from your POV while you dive into volcanoes or box robots in the middle of a sharknado (that’s a tornado made of sharks).
By:Ian Fortey|May 2, 2013
The Morning Jolt: The Matrix According to Mom
Moshimo, you will be missed.
By:Ian Fortey|May 2, 2013
Todd and the Book of Pure Evil and You
I need you to watch this clip from Todd and the Book of Pure Evil very carefully.
By:Ian Fortey|May 1, 2013
Daily Links
Best of Taco
Holy links
Popular Tacos
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- A Message From A Leprechaun Advocacy Group
- 16 Common Penalties That College Freshmen Should Avoid
- Eternal Pac Man
- Bush: One Of The Worst Disasters
- This Is Unexplainable
- Just Chillin'
- Totally Gay for Hollywood: 6 Riveting Celebrity Gayness Rumors
- How to Celebrate a Virtual Valentine’s Day
- 9 Rules of Engagement for Wife Swapping (Ted Haggard & Gary Busey Edition)
