We grew up watching sitcoms
, and the best character in any traditional sitcom is always the wacky
neighbor. Just like the retarded kid that they tried to integrate into your fifth grade class, the wacky neighbor provides excellent comic relief and spices up every situation with unconventional silliness. These are our 10 favorite sitcom neighbors:
Living next door to Marcy D’arcy is being neighbors with your sixth grade math teacher who hated your guts because you whispered a fat joke
to your friend on the second day of class and somehow she heard you and held it over your head for the rest of the year. She’s cranky, bitchy, and really easy to make fun of, so if your going up against her, you’d better take Al Bundy’s lead and have a "you look like a little boy and you have no tits at all"-type comeback for everything she says.
Why She’d Be A Good Neighbor:
She keeps her yard clean and presentable, she’s always down for a blue-humored
battle of wits, and if you can keep her on your good side, she’ll do your taxes for you.
Why She’d Be a Bad Neighbor:
She’ll never stay out of your personal life, She goes through husbands like malaria through Africa, and she usually has a stupid boy haircut
Where She Is Now:
Amanda Bearse, who portrayed Marcy on screen, moved on to television directing. She directed about 30 episodes of Married…With Children
, and went on to direct episodes of a ton of popular shows.
Boner Stabone was a pretty standard, Eddie Haskel-esque neighbor on Growing Pains
. He stands out in our books
as possibly the best innapropriate-joke-that-slipped-through-the-cracks-of-network-television ever. Boner’s real name is Dicky Stabone. His nickname is Boner. Any way you slice it, he was one giant dick joke
airing weekly on primetime network TV.
Why He’d Be A Good Neighbor: Mike Seaver knew first hand why Boner was so valuable: just like Eddie Haskel, Boner could easily earn your parent’s trust and easily get you into the action and out of trouble, just by bullshitting your folks better than you ever could.
Why He’d Be A Bad Neighbor: If you were in the shoes of Mr. or Mrs. Seaver, Boner could bullshit you to no end.
Where He Is Now: Joshua Andrew Koenig, who played Boner on Growing Pains, has appeared in a couple of Star Trek episodes, and he also performs with an improv group at IO West in Los Angeles. That’s pretty much it.
The Wonder Years
Winnie Cooper was the doe-eyed, innocent girl next door
that we all wanted but couldn’t have, because we grew up in a trailer park next to a crack house. Winnie represented a simpler time. We all wanted our own Winnie Cooper, but honestly if we could’ve had her when we wanted to, we would’ve done terrible, unspeakable things to her, and she wouldn’t be the symbol of innocence and love that she is today. We’d have a sweet story to tell, though.
Why She’s A Good Neighbor:
She was cute, sweet, innocent, and grew up to be an incredibly hot piece of ass
Why She’s A Bad Neighbor: She probably wasn’t giving it up on the regular.
Where She Is Now: Danica McKellar
hasn’t done much of anything since she left The Wonder Years
in 2003. Oh, wait, she wrote two New York Times Bestselling books that teach math to kids, and she also co-authored a mathematical theorum that’s way too complex for us to make any sense of. So, if you count those as "things she’s done", then I guess she’s done some stuff. Also, she’s ridiculously hot now
Cosmo Kramer is the most over-the-top, quintessential wacky neighbor in television history. Everyone knows him, everyone loves him, and everyone cheers when we flies through the door. End of discussion.
Why He’d Be A Good Neighbor: Kramer always has something interesting going on, so if you have a super boring life like we do, then he’d be great to have around.
Why He’d Be A Bad Neighbor: Cosmo has no respect for locked doors or privacy.
Where He Is Now:
Michael Richards is currently a racist
bigot. He’s also been on a few episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm
Boy Meets World
Mr. Feeney was the all-purpose adult for the kids on Boy Meets World. He was, at various times throughout the series, their teacher, their principal, and their college professor. He was probably also a stalker.
Why He’d Be A Good Neighbor: He could help you with your homework.
Why He’d Be A Bad Neighbor: He’s your F*CKING principal.
Where He Is Now: William Daniels, who portrayed Mr. Feeney on screen, is still acting, and he pops up everywhere. You probably saw him on Scrubs and Boston Legal, and in the shitty Will Farrell movie Blades of Glory.
Charles in Charge
Buddence Lembeck, better known as Buddy, was Charle’s best friend and sidekick. Although he had a way of sucking up to the adults, this loveable idiot usually always had a way of getting Charles into trouble. Like the time he lost everything and tried to kill himself…oh, wait…that was real life.
Why He’s A Good Neighbor: When you’re a teenage guy who’s stuck babysitting, you’ll take what you can get.
Why He’s A Bad Neighbor: He’s a trouble-causing idiot.
Where He Is Now:
After a failed suicide attempt in 2008, Willy Aames, who is the most cowboy-sounding non-cowboy on Earth, appeared on the VHI program Broke and Famous
. He’s currently working his way to becoming a fully licensed financial advisor
Nedward Flanders has been the neighbor to the Simpson family for over 20 years. Better known as Ned, this Bible
thumping, well-intentioned widower would likely give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it.
Why He’s A Good Neighbor: You can take advantage of him all you want. If his wife were still alive, you could get caught sleeping with her and still somehow manage to get an apology out of Ned.
Why He’s A Bad Neighbor: He’s upbeat as all f*ck, and sometimes that’s annoying.
Where He Is Now: Ned is still living next door to the Simpson family. He stays busy running the Leftorium and raising his two sons, Rod and Todd, who never age.
Wilson was a real Rennaisance neighbor. He possessed tons of obscure knowledge on nearly every subject and he was a valued and trusted neighbor to his retarded neighbor, Tim Taylor. Oddly enough, you were never able to see anything more than his eyes on the show, which probably seemed like a pretty great gag for the first season or so, but then got really really annoying
Why He’s A Good Neighbor: He always gives great advice.
Why He’s A Bad Neighbor: He probably had multiple shallow graves in his tiny backyard.
Where He Is Now: The actor that played Wilson died from lung cancer in 2003. I’m guessing he always had a cigarette concealed behind that fence.
was the prototype for all annoying child neighbors to follow. She was completely obnoxious, disrespectful, and had about as much sex appeal as a dirty diaper (at least to someone who doesn’t
like f*cking dirty diapers).
Why She Was A Good Neighbor: She was always good for a funny zinger, and her uncanny resemblance to Joe Perry meant that DJ never had to worry about Kimmy stealing her man.
Why She Was A Bad Neighbor: She had inexplicably stinky feet and always insisted on taking her shoes off. How wacky is that?!!
Where She Is Now:
Andrea Barber, who played Gibbler, lives in Los Angeles. She quit acting after Full House
was cancelled, but you can follow all of her boring normal activities on her Twitter
Steve Urkel broke the "annoying neighbor" mold when he came on the scene. Never has there been a more annoying neighbor. It got a little creepy when the show aged, and he was like 24 years old and still acting like a weirdo nerd, but when he was a little tiny kid, what an actor he was.
Why He’s A Good Neighbor: He’s smart, and he always had a way of looking out for Laura. He also dabbled in science quite a bit, and if you could get your hands on some of the stuff that turned him into Stephan Urkell, life would probably be a lot better.
Why He’s A Bad Neighbor: He’s like a painful tumor on your balls that won’t go away. Everything about him is irritating. He also destroys garages, kitchens, roofs, cars, and living rooms pretty frequently.
Where He Is Now:
I saw Jaleel White just a few nights ago with a random group of people in LA eating Chinese food.
He seemed like he was having a good time. He refused to sign my tits, though.