7 Better Things To Do With Simon Cowell’s Salary, Other Than Giving It To Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell, the jowly, sour face of American Idol as we know it, makes $208,000… PER DAY! He’s not even doing anything cool with that money. He’s been wearing the same three Brooks Brothers shirts since 2002. You could do a lot with that kind of money. You could literally change the world with that kind of money. And I’m talking in a humanitarian way, not in an “introducing shitty pop-music to the world” kind of way.

1. You Could Pay off 1/27th Japan’s Nuclear Clean-up Bill In One Year

Cowell makes $75,920,000 per year. The cost to clean up the third party damages from the nuclear power plant accident will cost Japanese tax payers roughly 2.1 billion.

2. You Could Sponsor Roughly 178,205 Children In Third World Countries Every Month

Over one-hundred and seventy-eight thousand? That’s pretty much all of them, isn’t it?

3. You Could Buy 520 Playstation 3 Move Bundles Every Day

If humanity isn’t your thing, you could just buy a shit ton of video game consoles!

4. You Could Buy 23, Average Single Family Homes Every Month

That’s almost one new house per day. Imagine the parties you could throw if you only bought one house per week and spent the remainder on booze and chex mix!

5. You Could Buy 13,866 Snuggies Every Day

Let’s go ahead and pair this one up with number 2. If you sponsored a few less children, you could sponsor them AND provide them with Snuggies.

6. You Could Buy The Remaining Tickets For Charlie Sheen’s Tour Dates, So Nobody Else Can

With one month’s Cowell-sized salary, you could buy all the tickets for Sheen’s tour and make sure he’s playing to empty arenas every night.

7. You Could Buy 13,000 Cases of Budweiser Every Day

Not that I recommend drinking that much, but I do recommend buying as many Anheuser-Busch products as you can. No particular reason.

Thanks HollyScoop!