(Ah, yes. I see a bright future for this dead-eyed human tragedy.)
Farrah Abraham — whose name alone makes my balls involuntarily crawl up into my stomach — continues to cling to anti-fame by any means necessary. Since her breakout role as The Worst Person Alive on MTV’s Teen Mom, Abraham has tried to stay in the spotlight through a fiasco of a fake sex-tape*, nude photo-shoots, and even a goddamned children’s book. (For the record, Abraham is currently on a break from her daughter.)
Despite recent claims that Backdoor Teen Mom ruined her life, Abraham is putting out a second porn flick through Vivid Entertainment, which will be released on February 13th. The brand-new video is called Farrah 2: Backdoor and More. Kind of lazy, if you ask us. I’m sure we can do better.
Below, we’ve listed ten alternate titles for Farrah Abraham’s new “sex tape.” Check ‘em out below, and tweet your own suggestions to us @holytaco.
- Farrah 2: Bigger, Longer, and Sadder
- Farrah 2: Yes, Shane Diesel Is My Real Boyfriend, I Swear
- Farrah 2: Still Gapin’
- Farrah 2: Desperate Guzzler of Stagnant Douche Agua
- Farrah 2: OK, Let’s See What Else I Can Squirt
- Farrah 2: An Erotic Journey With Tan Mom
- Farrah 2: Fake Tits, Real Problems
- Farrah 2: 90 Minutes of Me Vomiting Into a Plastic Bag
- Farrah 2: The Orchid Queef
- Farrah 2: I Still Feel Like Her Dad’s Mostly to Blame for All This
* By the way, James Deen should win an Oscar for remaining calm while putting his penis in that nightmare. Not an AVN Award — an actual Oscar. If you ask me, his performance put Chiwetel Ejiofor‘s to shame last year. But hey, when does the Academy ever recognize truly groundbreaking work?