Explore Holy Taco

10 Things I Wish Tim Tebow Put On His Eye Black

Tim Tebow, golden boy quarterback for the 2008 NCAA champion Florida Gators is a pretty big Bible thumper. As most sports fans know, he likes to use his eye black as a platform to let us know about important passages from the Good Book. But, after a full season is seeing Job this and Isiah that, I was really hoping he’d put something a little more interesting under his eyes. He didn’t. So, I did.
10. Big Titties
funny tebow eye black big titties
9. I Heart Satan
tebow funny eye black satan

8. Stoops Is Queer
tebow eye black stoops queer
tebow eye black funny omg lol
6. I’m A Virgin
tebow eye black virgin funny
5. Bad In The NFL
tebow eye black bad in nfl funny
4. Circumcision
tebow eye black tim circumcision funny
3. No Fat Chicks
tim tebow eye black florida gators funny fat chicks
2. God Hates (Penalty) Flags
tim tebow eye black penalty flags funny florida gators
1. Suck My Balls
tim tebow eye black funny suck my balls florida gators
All photos credited to Lynne Sladky.

55 Responses to "10 Things I Wish Tim Tebow Put On His Eye Black"

  1. really funny article worth every seconds of my time thanks

  2. Anonymous says:

    You people are morons…

  3. Anonymous says:

    So, Louis Murphy writes “I love you” and “Mom” under his eyes to honor his late mother, then you’re saying he’s trying to for him Mom on to you? What you’re saying is completely meaningless. Tebow is honoring God not forcing God onto you just like Murphy is not forcing him Mom’s love onto you. If you don’t like, then don’t watch, plain and simple. This country has freedom of speech so you can obviously say and so can Tebow. But freedom of speech does not mean to disrespect others…you could say what you want to say without being so degrading.

  4. imagenius says:

    the bible was writen by men.. dead men.. not like they were dead when they were writing it.. with boney fingers and all.. they weren’t mummies or anything.. or mommies for that matter.. women didn’t get to write in the bible.. they were too dumb to read and write back then.. not much has changed since those days.. but back to the topic.. so they were alive when they wrote it.. but since then they’ve died.. but abraham lived for like 700 years or something.. why was he so special?.. but anyways who gives a flying fuck???

  5. Anonymous says:

    that is fucking hilarious.

  6. Anonymous says:

    i saw tim french kiss satan…..

  7. Go Noles says:

    I love some good old-fashioned college football rivalry!

    People shouldn’t get so offended by what people say about Tebow though! Chill out, Tebow-lovers, it’s a rivalry. This is what happens. I’m pretty sure when he signed up to play for UF he knew he would be hated by half the state, the same way that Noles players know that. It has nothing to do with anything personal, religious, or anything other than football.

    Love and kisses,
    A loyal Seminole who hates Tebow-the-Player with a fiery passion but makes no claim to know anything about Tebow-the-Dude.

    (See? All in bad natured rivalry-fun!)

  8. Anonymous says:

    I’m a gator and I love FSU players… For sucking so bad.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Spelling “whether” “wiether” and using “your” instead of “you’re” proves that YOU’RE retarded, jackass.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I have a better one. How about “National Champion”? Tebow jealousy is at an all-time high, it must mean he’s doing something right, cause the more you win, the more people hate you.

  11. stan says:

    c’mon, preying on the poor and unfortunate is the Christian way! Easy targets!

  12. Rocktsteady says:

    yeah you definitely could have done better. none of those were really funny. how about “Can’t Stop; Won’t Stop”

  13. Anonymous says:

    your 30 seconds belongs to me now!!! no refunds.

  14. jay says:

    it took you 30 seconds to read all of that? …tard

  15. mike i says:

    its funny to me how people make such a big deal about his missionary work.. lets look at what a missionary does. they go to a country with their OWN culture and OWN religion and FORCE theme to convert to christianity.. ya thats great i cant’ wait til they come to my town!

  16. Anonymous says:

    for the love of tim tebow, mrs murphy will you get off me!?
    i know your son is pushing for this relationship, but youre 50 years old, not to mention dead! i’m not some kind of weird pervert!

  17. Anonymous says:


  18. Anonymous says:

    Now that’s some funny shit.

  19. Anonymous says:

    oh god. so true. so very sadly true.

  20. Anonymous says:

    So, Louis Murphy writes “I love you” and “Mom” under his eyes to honor his late mother, then you’re saying he’s trying to force his Mom onto you? What you’re saying is completely meaningless. Tebow is honoring God not forcing God onto you just like Murphy is not forcing him Mom’s love onto you. If you don’t like it, then don’t watch it, plain and simple. This country has freedom of speech so you can obviously say whatever you want to say and so can Tebow. But freedom of speech does not mean to disrespect others…you could make your point without being so degrading.

  21. Anonymous says:


  22. Anonymous says:

    Its not that we hate tebow its just that i had to listen to what a great pole smoker he was for four hours during the BCS game…i thought one of the booth guys would have his babies if it were possible. again…he might be a good person..but i will never know or want to know after 4 hours of brain washing. i thought it was a great game except for the fact that florida won but oh well.

  23. Anonymous says:

    This is the stupidest site I have ever been linked to. I want my 30 seconds back.

  24. urk says:

    god botherers make me laugh

  25. Anonymous says:

    wow really if you think like that then why the hell did you come on to this site, and i agree with the person you where replying to because it was true they where trying to force tim tebow on america not tebow himself doing it but the commentators, you’d realize that if your head wasnt so far up your ass with free speech and what not, THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO BRING THAT SHIT. Learn to pick your spots better genius. sincerely, someone who wants you to shut the fuck up

  26. Anonymous says:

    this is really kind of sad how obsessed you all have become to this stupid topic. he can put whatever he wants there and it shouldnt be of anyone elses concern what he believes in. its fine to tease and such but dont waste so much time on someting so trivial. seriously

  27. Anonymous says:

    I think its so funny that you are so offended.
    I’m a believer, and when someone says something offensive to me, i just say ok…whatever.
    I think he has a right to say and do whatever he wants to do…its america. BTW, Im a noles fan, so understand that first. I hate the gators. He is not the best college player ever…but he’s pretty good. He will be semi effective in the pro game…only time will tell tho

  28. Choklahoma says:

    All of you Tebow haters are just mad because he is a genuine person that cares about other people and uses his stardom to affect people’s lives in a positive way.
    If he never plays a snap in the NFL, he will still be remembered as the greatest player to suit up for a college football game by real fans who know what the fuck they’re talking about.
    This kind of shit right here is why the world is in the shape it’s in…..too many internet pussies writing shit instead of working for a living and paying their fuckin bills.

  29. Dom says:

    I think the haters exist because the shit the media says. No one has the ability to get his cock out of their mouth when the camera turns on. He is a good college player. You are retarded if you think he is the greatest. quit drinking the Tebow jizz and realize he is nothing more than an option QB and OK showed that yesterday. They got nothing done until the option started getting called. The only team he could be successful with is the Dolphins, the only team in the NFL to run the option or that trick play bullshit.


    a real fan who knows what the fuck they are talking about who isn’t an internet pussy with a great job.

  30. Manbearpig says:

    Remember Marcus Allen, Bo Jackson, Roger Strabauch, Tony Dorsett, Dude from Nebraska that won two “T”Heismans. People forget he (Tebow) still was a back up behind Chris Leak in his first championship. (Not to say he didn’t play a lot and didn’t play a role). I just hate how short sighted people are and forget other great atheletes. They act like no other athletes ever existed and no one else has ever done shit on a football field. With that being said, I hope Tebow comes back next year, wins a “T”heisman and hopefully a championship over my USC Trojans because I would love to see “The best college football player ever” in my lifetime, because Reggie “The edge isn’t there in the NFL” Bush has been the best I have seen and I want to see more than that shit!!!

  31. KTFO says:

    You tell ‘em buddy!

  32. Choklahoma says:

    So I guess I would classify you as a hater then…. Ok, so he was the first sophomore to win the Heisman, check, first quarterback to win two BCS Championships, check, has revolutionized the position and the way it’s played at the college level, check. Sorry am I leaving something out? Greatest College Football Player in the history of the game. Point Blank Period. Kid is a leader who made a promise after they lost a heartbreaker earlier this season. He fulfilled that promise by willing his team to win two close games against probably the second and third best teams in college football this season.


    A real fan who knows you’re an internet pussy with a job at the waffle house who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. Go change your fucking tampon, Nancy, and get your fuckin shinebox.

  33. austen says:

    First of all, he is not the greatest college player ever. That right is reserved for either Tommy Frazier or Barry Sanders (check stats) Second of all, I would hardly say that he was the QB that won the first of Florida’s BCS titles, that was Chris Leak. And furthermore, I do not believe for a second that all of his “enthusiasm” and “passion” are real. This is a show that he puts on for the cameras. He knows that people are looking at his eye black and saying things like “well isn’t he a good kid.” Please, grow up this shit is entertainment and Tebow is simply really good at conveying that his character is real. How do his nuts taste by the way? I bet they don’t taste like pussy because Tebow is frightened of it.

  34. Anonymous says:

    there aren’t many non-christ-freaks outside of florida who don’t want tebow to break his spine.

  35. Anonymous says:

    Holy hell. You’re more preachy then any Christian I’ve ever heard.

  36. cory says:
    But would you mind if it said "Big Titties" under his eyes?
  37. Anonymous says:

    Then why do they have “In God We Trust” on paper money???

    Calm yourself down. I agree with it being unnecessary to the game, but there is not point in going overboard. Oh… wait.. too late, you already did..

    In any case, this made me laugh..

  38. Anonymous says:

    Calm the fuck down

  39. Anonymous says:

    Tebow’s eye black “advertisement” was unnecessary to the game. I wondered if some Christians would be offended by secular humanist messages like “There Is” and “No God” on two eye black patches?

    It is unfortunate that some Christians push a Christian Supremacy or Dominionist approach. They disregard offending those outside their faith. Americans have a wonderful right to practice their religion, or none at all, but this is an individual or private right, not an issue for public exploitation.

    Coyly placed self-righteous “advertisements” have no place at a nationally televised football game. Intolerance, fanaticism and extremism can be dangerous so let’s agree that it is fairer to everyone if we keep football un-messaged.

  40. Anonymous says:

    Why does John 3:16 offend non-Christians so much? If he put “Florida Gators” on his eye patches, should non-Gators fans or players be offended? And how is it offensive? If a muslim player had a verse from the Quran on his eye patches and Christians were offended by it the way atheists and non-Christians are offended by Tebow’s John 3:16 message, they’d be reprimanded and insulted for being intolerant.

    Guess what? If an atheist football player wants to express his or her doubt of the existence of God on their eye black, it’s protected by freedom of speech. Intolerant Christians are being taught that freedom of speech applies to everyone, even those they don’t agree with.

    Next, maybe intolerant atheists should be taught that freedom of speech also applies to everyone, even those they don’t agree with, rather than just themselves…

  41. Anonymous says:

    “In God We Trust” did not become our national motto until 1956, long after the founding fathers were dead. It was first added to our currency during the civil war.

    Also, “under God” was added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1951 by the Knights of Columbus in New York. They decided that since Lincoln said it in his Gettysburg Address that it should be included in the Pledge that school children have to say daily.

    Basically we didn’t start this country as a Christian nation. We actually started this country because we were trying to escape religious persecution, and now we are feeling the effects of religious persecution all over again.

    Also, cocks.

  42. Anonymous says:

    It’s not any form of oppression for Tebow to express his personal religious views. If you don’t agree then don’t worry about it. There are billions of people in this world who deal with real oppression and your complaints make you sound spoiled and ignorant.

  43. Anonymous says:

    Kinda like how you are a douche but somewhere in the world someone is douchier, so I can’t really call you a douche.

  44. God says:

    I just traded your soul to Satan for naked pics of your mom..

  45. Anonymous says:

    Peter King is going to try and steal him soon

  46. cory says:
    I’m glad someone else noticed that last night. I thought Thom was going to start masturbating during the game last night.
  47. inchesfromyourface says:

    Thom Brennaman is my lover.

  48. Mateowayo says:

    Anyone who minds big titties should go to hell.

  49. Go Cry says:

    What the hell are you talking about…no where under his eyeblack does it say screw Atheists, or God will smite thee… He can right whatever the hell he wants on his eye black. If ur offended by that, ur embarrassing

  50. Roger Lodge says:

    Yes it is you big fag.

  51. Anonymous says:

    this isn’t funny

  52. Anonymous says:

    Freakin’ Pork Snorkel

  53. Anonymous says:



  54. NothingToxic says:

    Ha ha ha ha God Hates Flags. I liked this a lot

  55. “Help, Help…I’m being oppressed”

    Calm down fucker…nobody but your mom cares about your viewpoints on how Tebow is forcing religion on America…and she is too busy sucking my cock to listen to you anyway