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10 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Your Mom on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is on Sunday, and that means that you’ll be talking to your mom. Whether it’s on the phone or over brunch at the local Old People’s Restaurant, you’ll have to pass yourself off as a respectable human being for a little while. The only way you’re going to be able to pull that off is if you can avoid these 10 phrases at all costs:
 

Why You Shouldn’t Say It: You can casually hit your mom up for $20 on a normal day, but on Mother’s Day you’re supposed to be focusing on her. If you really need $20 from your mom, you have to make it sound like it’s so important that it couldn’t wait until after her special day. Ask for $2,000 instead.
 
 
Why You Shouldn’t Say It: Moms are old ladies. Everyone knows that, but you can’t tell them that. This is the one day of the year that you have to lie to your mom to make her feel good about herself.
 
 
Why You Shouldn’t Say It: Moms don’t like Predator. She’s also going to think you’re an idiot for buying the box set, because only the first Predator is any good. The rest are just dog shit. Would you be proud of a child who paid for dog shit? 
 
 
Why You Shouldn’t Say It: Save that one for Father’s Day. It’ll have more impact.
 
 

Why You Shouldn’t Say It: Only a complete idiot would ever call his mom without first checking the date to make sure she can’t spring something unexpected on you, but if you find yourself in this situation, just use the three most useful all-purpose words you’ll ever encounter: "I’m just kidding!"
 
 
Why You Shouldn’t Say It: It’s never wrong to say this to anyone, but just try to bite your tongue today.
 
 
Why You Shouldn’t Say It: If you need to say this on Mother’s Day, you should not be at your Mom’s house right now. Hit the road, find a safe house, and stay low for a while.
 

Why You Shouldn’t Say It: Wii Fit is a great present for Mother’s Day, but for the love of God do NOT tell her that it’s because people are starting to stare at her fat ass everytime she goes back to the breakfast buffet for seconds.
 

Why You Shouldn’t Say It: It makes your mom sound old, but it’s also kind of sounds like you’re calling her hot at the same time. Overall, it’s a weird thing to say to your mom. In fact, don’t ever say this to anyone. Ever.
 
 
Why You Shouldn’t Say It: WARNING: Meatspin is not for Moms!
 

33 Responses to "10 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Your Mom on Mother’s Day"

  1. Ruperta says:

    wow. someone veered off on a tangent and everyone else followed. I thought it was funny.

  2. DonkeyXoteâ„¢ says:

    Lame!

  3. Mothers Day says:

    Nice slam on Ricky Martin for coming out by telling his mom.

  4. Burn Your Friends says:

    Meatspin is for all types, especially for mothers, and I guess jews too.

  5. Jack Palance says:

    I can smell your cunt

  6. Richard Hunter says:

    Stop smelling your sister’s fingers.

  7. Ce says:

    Jews Smell good while they Bake xD

  8. mohamedalijinnah says:

    Interesting Post

    http://seasonsali.wordpress.com/2010/05/09/in-islam-every-day-is-mothers-day/

    One day a man came to see the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. It seemed that he was trying to solve something but couldn’t quite work it out. So he asked the Prophet. Tell me, O Prophet! I have many relatives and many friends whom I love, and whom I wish to care for and help. But I often find it difficult to decide which of them has the greatest claim upon me? Which of them should come first? The Prophet replied immediately, Your mother should come first and before all others.

    The man was very pleased to have this clear guidance from the Prophet. But of course there were all his other relatives and his friends, so he asked and after my mother, who has the greatest claim upon me? The Prophet’s reply this second time surprised him. Your mother! he said again.

    The man wondered why the Prophet was repeating himself. Perhaps he had not spoken clearly, the man thought, so he asked the question again, What I want to know is, after my mother, who has the greatest claim upon me? Again the Prophet said your mother!

    Your mother, your mother, your mother!

    The Prophet had now said it three times. Slowly, the man realized why he had done so. The Prophet means that my mother is extremely important, so much so that my duty to her must be stressed over and over again. Even so, the man’s thoughts ran on, what about all the others I love and wish to care for? Still uncertain and wanting to know more, he once again turned to the Prophet and said, and after my mother, who comes after her? Is there anyone besides her? The Prophet then replied after your mother, your father. And then? asked the man. Then people who are nearest to you, said the Prophet. Allah’s peace and blessings be upon the Prophet.

  9. nidurali says:

    Good post.
    Heaven Is Under Mother’s Feet

    Devotion To Her Is Obligatory Even After Her Death

    1. The Qur’an says in Surah Luqman: “Thank Me and thank your parents.

    2. Hadrat Abdullah bin Mas’ud (R.D.A.) says he asked the Prophet: “What is the best act which is most dear to Allah? He replied: “To say one’s prayers at the proper time. He was again asked: “And after that? He replied: “To treat one’s parents well. He was asked once again: “And after that? The Prophet replied: “To wage Jihad in the way of God. (Bukhari and Muslim)

    3. Hadrat Abdullah bin Qais has reported that a person came to the Prophet and sought permission to fight in the way of Allah. The Prophet asked: “Are your parents alive? He replied in the affirmative. Upon this the Prophet said: “The reward of Jihad lies in service to them. (Bukhari and Muslim)

    4. Once the Prophet said: “Heaven lies under mother’s feet. (Tabarani)

    5. A person said to the Prophet: “0 apostle of Allah, is any service due to one’s parents after their death? The Prophet replied: “Yes, saying one’s prayers, seeking forgiveness of one’s parents, fulfilling any promise made by them, treating well those related to them and respecting their friends. All these are included in the service due to them after their death. (Abu Da’ud)

    6. Anyone who desires increase in livelihood and length of life. should treat well one’s relatives and parents. (Ahmad)

    7. It is reported by Hadrat Abu Huraira (R.D.A.) that someone asked the Prophet who should be given preference in good treatment. He replied: “The mother. The inquirer asked: Who else? He again replied: “The mother. After mentioning the mother thrice he said: “The father. (Bukhari and Muslim)

    8. Allah’s pleasure lies in the pleasure of one’s parents and His anger also lies therein. (Bukhari)

    9. Someone said to, the Prophet: “0 apostle of Allah, l have committed, a great sin. Can l be forgiven? The Prophet replied: “Is your mother alive? He said, “Yes. The Prophet then said: “Go and treat her well. (Tirmizi)

    10. The greatest of major sins is to associate anyone with Allah and to disobey one’s parents. (Bukhari and Muslim)

    11. Heaven is denied to three persons, one of whom is he who disobeys his parent. (Ahmad)

    12. Not a single obligatory Nafl (supernumerary) of one disobedient to his parents is accepted. (Ibn Asim)

    13. The Prophet said: “One of the major sins is to abuse one’s parents. The Companions asked: “How is it possible for anyone to abuse one’s parents? He replied: “To abuse another’s parents is tantamount to abusing one’s own parents because when you abusse other men’s parents, they would abuse yours in retaliation. (Muslim, Bukhari and Abu Da’ud)

    14. Punishment of every sin and chastisement of every offense can be deferred but the sin of disobeying one’s parents is so serious that its punishment is awarded before death. (Hakim)

    15. “People ask you as to what they should spend. Tell them that whatever you spend the first who are entitled to it are your parents. (Al-Baqara: 215)

    16. “And treat well your parents. (Bani Israel)

    17. “And speak respectfully to them (your parents). (Bani Israel)

    18. “And bend before them with great humility and courtesy. (Bani Israel)

    19. “And pray: Lord, have mercy on them both, the way they have brought me up in childhood. (Bani Israel)

    20. “And we have enjoined men to, treat their parents well (in the first instance, the mother). His mother bore him with such difficulty and suffered so much in giving him birth. (AI-Ahqaf)

    21. “And if both put pressure on you that you should join them in Shirk (un-Islamic act) for which you have actually no, reason, then do not obey them at all (but) treat them well in life: only follow that path which leads up to Me. You have to return at last to Me. Then I will tell you what you have been doing. (Luqman: 15)

    http://seasonsali.wordpress.com/2010/04/26/heaven-is-under-mother%E2%80%99s-feet/

  10. @l@h says:

    Oh for fucks sake. People who post a reply to their own bullshit to applaud themselves tear the ass out of me. I shit on your mother’s grave, nidurali. I draw a mustache on her pictures. I hit your prophet with my car and roll over his legs slowly.

  11. Homoerotica says:

    First FAGGITS!!!!

  12. Stupid Is says:

    Yes Your The First FAGGIT

  13. correction! says:

    Wow, two dumbasses who are so stupid they can’t even spell the word they’re using for put downs….it’s spelled faggot dick for brains!

  14. Crabs says:

    If mama aint’ happy = http://bit.ly/4qe9C1

  15. e cig says:

    hahahahaha

  16. BELGIUMS FINEST MOM says:

    In Belgium all mothers are shemales.

  17. DonkeyXote says:

    True that.

  18. *Insert Witty Name* says:

    This is so…..so…..SO bad! I mean, this goddamn article didnt requrie any work! I could make a list of 1000 things you shouldnt say. Lets all start now!
    1. “I’ve killed a man”
    2. “I’ve killed a woman”
    3. “I fell in love with DonkeyXote” and so on and so forth

  19. justin says:
    Nobody would care if you said you killed a woman.
  20. Bonana King says:

    HAHAHAHA! yup…

  21. DungSniffer says:

    Oh MOM let me see your boobs……oh yeah fap fap fap fap…….blamo! Now get your ass in the kitchen and make me a pie.

  22. pratik says:

    Maybe in Arkansas…

  23. Jo Diggs says:

    ROTFL, thats pretty funny dude.

    Lou
    http://www.anonymous-web-surfing.cz.tc

  24. NAACP says:

    the only thing funny about this article is that you had to put in the obligatory safe looking-white-freindly black guy

  25. Jewish guy says:

    jews gift to ther mothers: growing up to be rich and successful

    jews actually fulfill their mothers dreams, we grow up to be doctors,engineers,bankers etc

    what do you non jews do?

    you non jewish guys always break your mothers dreams, but then again you non jews are inferior after all

    and a message to office jerk: i am not a troll, i really am a jew, and one more thing, you are a shit faggot mother raping micky mouse raping hannah montana loving asshole

    now you may ask why am i being so honest?

    its because i am tired of jews being oppressed, so i am giving you goyim a taste of your own medicine

  26. Anonymos says:

    jewish people have been inbreeding for a couple thousand years now, making the race weak and prone to sickness and disease. they have also been banished from just about everywhere over the course of history so watch what you say juden.

  27. punctuation catcher says:

    . . . . . .

  28. office jerk, says:

    Jewish guy FOR FUCKS SAKE.

    everyone here knows you’re a fat inbred redneck who sits on your porch and hates “joooz, nigs an’ spics”.

    you think you’re the hot shit of the internet having invented strawman sockpuppeting?

    Well, Tom-bob Stubfucker or what ever the fuck yer chrishun name is. Go back to blowing on that moonshine triple-X jug of yours, because your internet game is so fucking transparent i can smell the mixture of Off and chewing tobacco that you reek right through it.

  29. clubf00t says:

    office jerk that was hilarious…good work

  30. SkinHead says:

    What Hollowcost?

    Jews are filthy.

    I hate jews. and niggers.
    and muslims.

    I hate all filthy disgusting jews.

    Stink fucks.

  31. Oppressor Goyim Chief says:

    Hmmm, my own medicine. Strangely it has no effect on me. I think its my race that makes me immune. Unlike you.
    Try this other medicine. Its to help you not overuse the word “raping” in the same run-on sentence.

  32. EliJay says:

    pervertedsexobject .com is okay then?