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10 Things You Shouldn’t Use Kickstarter For

If you’re not familiar with Kickstarter, it’s basically a way for wide-eyed, optimistic artists, philanthropists and goofy hipsters to ask their friends and friends of those friends for small donations that will fund some sort of project. It’s a wonderful platform, when used properly. It’s the epitome of crowd-funded works and usually, everyone benefits. However, people often attempt to misuse it. Like it’s some sort of classy, internet version of panhandling. It’s tempting, because you’re just asking people for small amounts of money, and you probably think you could do something really cool with the money, but you should avoid it. Here’s a few bad kickstarter campaign ideas that nobody should to follow through with:

Your dental work

Dental work is expensive, and if you’ve been living the bohemian life since you left your parents house at 18, your oral hygiene has probably tumbled down your list of priorities. That’s not anyone’s fault but your own.

An air conditioner

It gets hot in the summer and window units will cost you two-hundred bucks, easy. Not to mention the spike in the electric bill. However, humans can survive without AC, believe it or not. So just shave your beard and suck it up.

Pointless philanthropic endeavors

We know you went to college, you think you have a world of experience, and you think you’ve got answers to a lot of problems but what you consider problems may not be real problems. For example, nobody’s going to donate to your project that will place iPhone chargers in all the major metropolitan areas in the states. And kids in third world countries don’t need ukeleles and painting lessons, they need food. Just make sure your cause is an actual cause.

Your documentary about a band who’s only been together for six months

We’ve all got access to cameras and editing equipment now so anyone can make a movie, but that doesn’t mean you should. Your “compelling” documentary about your friends’ band is probably interesting to nobody but you. Don’t ask other people to pay you for it.

Your road trip

Thumb it, wimp.

Your European backpacking trip

European backpacking trips are for kids from affluent families who don’t feel like working right after college. If you don’t have parents that are willing to pay for this sort of thing, then you just don’t get to do it. Bottom line. You’re poor, and of a lower class. You’re going to have to work through your twenties and save your own money for your trip. By the time you accumulate that money, you won’t want to go anymore because life will have worn you down and robbed you of wanderlust.

Rent

Can’t do that. Sounds easy, but I don’t even think Kickstarter would approve such a scheme.

Your experimental music project

You wrote a song using only rubber bands and a metal tub full of old sneakers and you want to record a full-length album of it. Find your own money to do so, please.

Your half-baked idea for an iPhone app

“It’s an app that pairs you up with other people using the same app, then it offers you discounts on coffee and calculates tips while it records your bands demo!”

Your coffee table book with polaroids of your ex-girlfriend

So you got a polaroid camera at a sidewalk sale and you snapped a bunch of washed out instant pics of your hipster girlfriend wearing big glasses and a pillowcase. Sounds kind of hot, but it’s not something you need to subject everyone else to, and it’s not going to win her back.

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