College can be a confusing place for freshmen. So, in an effort to better prepare them for life on campus, we’ve acquired the help of an NFL referee to alert them when they’ve committed a penalty.
1. PENALTY: TRYING TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WITH YOUR DJ SKILLS
2. PENALTY: ASKING ANNOYING QUESTIONS THAT DELAY THE END OF CLASS
3. PENALTY: JACKING OFF WHILE YOUR ROOMMATE IS TRYING TO SLEEP
4. PENALTY: EXPECTING A BLOWJOB BECAUSE YOU THREW A PARTY IN YOUR DORM ROOM
5. PENALTY: TRYING TO IMPRESS GIRLS WITH FISTING JOKES
6. PENALTY: TAKING TWO KARATE COURSES DOES NOT MAKE YOU BRUCE LEE
7. PENALTY: DANCING LIKE THE WHITEST MAN ON THE PLANET
8. PENALTY: HIDING THE LAST BEER
9. PENALTY: JOINING THE DIVING TEAM
10. PENALTY: LYING ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS
11. PENALTY: BRAGGING THAT YOU ARE THE LORD OF THE DANCE
12. PENALTY: STILL THINKING “RAISE THE ROOF” IS POPULAR
13. PENALTY: CONSTANTLY SHOWING EVERYONE THAT YOU COULD TOTALLY PASS A SOBRIETY TEST
14. PENALTY: SHOWING UP TO A PARTY EMPTY-HANDED
15. PENALTY: YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY A VISIBLE STENCH CLOUD BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T DONE LAUNDRY IN SIX WEEKS
16. PENALTY: STANDING AT THE DOOR AND ASKING EVERYONE FOR KEG MONEY
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
fucking freshmen
The pictures are fucking perfect.
This post sucks my nuts just like the dean at my college.
You are just pissed because someone followed you around at school for a week so they could come up with this list.
Ouch…..this hit too close to home.
Normally, I am none of the stereotypical douches on your lists…..but this time I have committed about 2/3 of these penalties.
1-3
6-7
8
10
13-16
Thank the lord my real name isn’t Tyler
……I have shared waaaay too much.
Were I able, I’d also add the following penalties:
Penalty: puking in the air conditioner of a dorm room
Penalty: jacking off in a stall of the communal bathroom
Penalty: Forgetting you’re fat and unattractive when you hear of a steamroom in the shower
Penalty: Crashing someone’s party with intent to snag a drunk girl
Penalty: Drunken crying. You’re not “sensitive” but you ARE a fucking cunt.
Penalty: Being the “World of Warcraft” roommate that inhibits someone’s night. Asshat!
Oh and I committed penalty #4 of Truth’s
crashing party to snag drunk girl……she was asking for it though.
Are forum posts admissable in a court of law?….I hope not.
“Penalty: Crashing someone’s party with intent to snag a drunk girl”
That usually goes hand in hand with penalty 21: committing date rape because you can’t fuck a chick who isn’t unconcious
Heh, very nice, Uzi. Very nice.
Suck my nuts!
wow i’ve done exactly half of those … shit
penalty: pouring out beer
I do this all the time! cause I’m a TOOL!
HA, I am in my first year of grad school and those #2 jackasses are still around. Use email.