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1989 Internet Headlines, If They Happened Today


(“Why Michael Keaton Is Going to Be the Worst Batman Ever“)

By Ben Goldstein

Today marks the 25th anniversary of the World Wide Web’s creation — or at least the day when Tim Berners-Lee presented his idea for it. It’s hard to imagine now, but people in 1989 had no idea what a “cat GIF” was, and could only access pornography through magazines and videocassettes. So in honor of the World Wide Web’s 25th birthday, I came up with some 1989-era headlines, in the style of modern-day Internet clickbait. Enjoy, and tweet your own 1989 Internet headlines to @holytaco with the hashtag #1989headlines.

- 12 Insane Predictions for the ‘Quantam Leap‘ Season 1 Finale

- Tanks Roll Through Tiananmen Square — You Won’t Believe What This Brave Student Did Next

- Prince of Persia: Complete Apple II Walk-Through and Cheats

- ‘Sexy Canadian Football Fan‘ Video Was Actually a Viral Ad for Labatt’s Beer

- Meme of the Day: Photogenic Romanian Protester

- Oakland A’s vs. San Francisco Giants World Series Game 3 Live Results [UPDATE: HOLY CRAP DID YOU FEEL THAT?]

- 17 Reasons Why Jodie Foster Should Be My Best Friend

- Watch This Stand-Up Comic Stop Joking for a Minute, and You’ll Never Look at the World the Same

- Drew Barrymore and Corey Feldman Epically Photobombed by Lady Wearing Insane Butterfly Dress

- ‘Back to the Future 2′ Hoverboard Revealed to Be a Hoax [Ed. note: Why do we keep falling for that one?]

- ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’, ’Cops’, ‘Baywatch’, and More Dumb New TV Shows That Will Probably Be Canceled Soon

- Seriously, Madonna Needs to Just Stop

- Oh, You Think You’re Better Than Me Because You Have a Mobile Phone? [GIFs]

Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie Card: The 30 Greatest Photoshop Parodies

- Donald Trump: World’s Biggest Douchebag?

- Fall of the Berlin Wall: What Time Does It Start, And How Do I Watch It?

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