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The 20 Best Shit My Dad Says Quotes

Former Holy Taco editor Justin Halpern’s book Shit My Dad Says comes out today, and in honor of this momentus occasion we’ve chosen our 20 favorite Shit My Dad Says tweets. You can get the book online (somehow there are already 2 used copies available, it’s that good), or wherever ridiculous literature is readily available for purchase. Check out more tweets at Justin’s website.


18 Responses to "The 20 Best Shit My Dad Says Quotes"

  1. justin igger says:

    Sad that people actually like this idiotic vapid nonsense. Guy’s dad is clearly a retard.

  2. BIG OKIE says:

    Son, you were not born. A bird shit on a rock and the sun hatched you.

  3. DonkeyXote is the new Philosopher says:

    Amazon does that to all their books idiot. The actual price just makes you think you’re getting a deal.

  4. TG says:

    Your inability to read the word “joke” is astounding. I know sarcasm even the most obvious sarcasm is hard for you to understand.

  5. TG says:

    Book so shitty, Amazon knocked off $6.64 just so people would buy it. I joke, some pretty quality shit there.

  6. Ralph the WonderLlama says:

    not anymore!


    not any more

  8. Lick my Armpits says:


  9. 8=======D~~ says:

    i’m so horny

  10. Your dad says:

    Fuck you, son

  11. High on Ass says:

    I laughed, therefore, fun stuff. Wouldn’t buy the book apart for toilet-novelty-reading with some asswhiping-benefits. What a fucking unnecessary comment I just made. Does anybody care?

  12. DonkeyXote says:

    That’s funny, because they sent the shirt you won to me you fucking fuckwit!! hahahahah!

  13. Anonymoosesex says:

    Funny shit. Too bad you never bothered to send me my Holy Taco Tshirt I won so you think I’m buying that crap?

  14. CountryboyQ says:

    so does your ability to type fast enough to be first dumbass

  15. dirk maconnal says:

    ah ha stupid.

  16. DonkeyXote's Dad says:

    first biiiiatches…btw this sucks

  17. Rightinthekisser says:

    Lame, Ever hear your Dad say, “Son, you wouldn’t be here if your Mom swallowed.”

  18. office jerk, says:

    i guess justin’s dad sounds a lot like the internet