But Can it Make Me a Sandwich?

According to cnn.com, engineers at Toyota Motor Corp. (clearly not busy with making reliable cars) have created a robot that can play the violin.

“The 5-foot-tall, all-white robot used its mechanical fingers to press the strings correctly and bowed with its other arm, coordinating the movements well.”

No one needs a robot that plays the violin! In fact, we could use less humans playing it. Just ask anyone who’s accidentally listened to the Dave Matthews Band.

I’ve had it with stories like this! Scientists, listen to me, here is a list of things we need robots to do:

  1. Clean and sanitize your house or workplace.
  2. Perform menial tasks such as shopping for groceries or going to the post office.
  3. Watch the door to see if your roommate comes home when you’re masturbating, then alert you with a repeating alarm of: “Cease masturbation, cease masturbation.”
  4. Take care of the sick or elderly.
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