The worst part about taking a dump is having to look at a pile of lifeless brown mass just sitting there with no personality. Well, my friend, your days of dull and dreary dung are over! Some scientist weirdos have created the Gold Pill. It's made of 24-karat gold leaf and it's initial purpose is to give you "increased self-worth." Sounds like a load of shit, right? Well that's the kicker! One alleged side effect of this $425 pill is that it will MAKE YOUR SHIT SPARKLE! You read that right. Through the magic of science, your crap will shine brighter than Li'l Jon's grill. That little withered freak from Lord of the Rings will refer to YOUR asshole as his precious. Your grandfather will sit around and complain that back in his day he had to "take shits that didn't do nothin'!" Then he'll say something stupid and the whole family will laugh. Ahh, it feels good to be alive. Thank you, scientist weirdos!
If I took this pill, I'd hit the cheap Chinese buffet and eat in Thanksgiving-like proportions. Then I'd go to their bathroom and take a mammoth sparkley dump and leave it for all the workers there to ROR at it.
(11 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
December 10th, 2007 at 07:04 pm
Are these pet friendly?
December 10th, 2007 at 07:08 pm
wow, awesome. someone needs to tell paul wall about this, ASAP!
December 10th, 2007 at 08:25 pm
2 girls, 1 cup GOLD
December 10th, 2007 at 08:30 pm
Do these come in cabbage colored?
December 16th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
That is the best thing since sliced bread - no question!!! I could do with them in silver, less sluty....
February 28th, 2008 at 05:04 am
sevenfold fan avenged sevenfold of avenged
December 18th, 2008 at 02:41 pm
If I took this pill, I'd hit the cheap Chinese buffet and eat in Thanksgiving-like proportions. Then I'd go to their bathroom and take a mammoth sparkley dump and leave it for all the workers there to ROR at it.
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