Thirsty Thursday: New Year's Drinking Guide

Chances are you’re on your way to a New Year’s party this weekend. Instead of bringing a boring old bottle of Cristal, pour out a few of these and you’ll be the belle of the ball—or at least slightly more desirable after midnight.

Sam Adams Utopia
What is it: The most expensive and strongest beer in the world.
Tasting note: Instead of a regular beer, this tastes more like a cognac or brandy. At 27% alcohol by volume, this isn’t something you chug with your pals. You sip it with your dad.
Say this to sound smart: "The hints of toffee, raisins and plums are reminiscent of a fine port or brandy."
Say this to sound stupid: "Beer beer beer!"
Price: $120

Flora Springs 2004 Trilogy
What is it: A Californian wine that blends five Bordeaux grapes.
Tasting note: Bring this bottle with its rich cassis, black cherry flavors and hints of dark chocolate will make the partygoers think you know a thing or two about wine.
Say this to sound smart: "You now, Flora Springs’ 1991 Cabernet Sauvignon was named the third best wine in the world in 1994."
Say this to sound stupid: "I drink out of the toilet."
Price: $65

Wyndham Estate’s Sparkling Shiraz
What is it: Not champagne (and it doesn’t cost as much) but no one will be the wiser when you show up with this Australian wine.
Tasting note: It has soft tannins and a hint of vanilla. It also tastes like champagne.
Say this to sound smart: "I wasn’t stupid enough to shell out hundreds of dollars for a bottle of French champagne."
Say this to sound smarter: "I brought this instead of a bottle of French champagne that would’ve cost hundreds of dollars."
Price: $18

Rittenhouse 23-Year-Old Very Rare Single Barrel Straight Rye Whiskey
What is it: A very old rye whiskey with a very long name.
Tasting note: Spicy and lush, this 100 proof rye tastes just like it would if you were drinking straight out of the barrel.
Say this to sound smart: "This is very rare because there were only 25 barrels of the 23-year-old released."
Say this to sound stupid: "You can't get herpes if you have sex in the shower."
Price: $170

Trappistes Rochefort
What is it: It’s a beer brewed by bona fide monks. A few bottles of this will send you straight to heaven.
Tasting note: This beer sits on your tongue long after you swallow it. I know that sounds sexual, but that’s how much I love this beer.
Say this to sound smart: Trappistes Rochefort has won the gold medal at the World Beer Championships in 2004 and 2006.
Say this to sound stupid: I’m pretty sure “monk” is short for “monkey.”
Price: $8/bottle

Laphroaig Quarter Cask
What is it: It’s the father of all the well-known single malt scotches.
Tasting note: Smoky, peaty and full-bodied, this tastes just like Scottish dirt. But in a good way.
Say this to sound smart: The quarter cask is from a smaller barrel, which gives the whisky more contact with the oak and a much richer flavor.
Say this to sound stupid: Did Braveheart drink this?
Price: $60