Male Monkeys Pay For Sex Just Like You

According to a new scientific investigation, male monkeys aren't so different than my uncle.

A study into our primate cousins found that male macaques pay for intercourse by using grooming as a currency.

On average, females had sex 1.5 times per hour.  But this rate jumped to 3.5 times per hour immediately after the female had been groomed by a male -- and her partner of choice was likely to be a hunky monkey that did the grooming.
Pfffft, please.  Those monkey's have it easy.  Try grooming a vegas hooker and see what that buys you.

Market forces also acted on the value of the transaction.  If there were several females in the area, the cost of buying sex would drop dramatically -- a male could "buy" a female for just eight minutes of nit-picking.

First you pick all the bugs off of her, THEN you hump her.  I can't tell you how many times I've forgotten that rule.  Those monkeys, they're always thinking.  I gain more respect for them with each day that passes.