Bad News For Nicole Richie's Baby

According to starmagazine.com, Joel Madden apparently must think he and wife Nicole Richie's baby looks like a salamander.

"She looks so much like her mom it's crazy!," says Madden.

He goes on to say:

"She eats like a little maniac and she's really sweet."

Let me show you what was going on inside Joel Madden's brain right before he said that:

JOEL MADDEN'S BRAIN: Okay, let's see here.  People think Nicole is anorexic and a total bitch..., soooo whatever I say about the baby needs to be the opposite of that.  Alright, let's do this in 3...2...1...

JOEL MADDEN'S MOUTH: She eats like a little maniac and she's really sweet!

JOEL MADDEN'S BRAIN: We nailed that one.  What do you think penis?

JOEL MADDEN'S PENIS:  I like a nice firm man's ass.

(crickets chirping)