Liberia's General Butt Naked Likes His Nude Killings

 We seem to have a lot of problems with our army. Our troops don't have enough armor, there's questions about their effectiveness, and some people think we should focus more on Afghanistan than Iraq. I can tell you one other huge problem we have with our military: We don't have any officers named General Butt Naked. Liberia's "army," on the other hand, is apparently doing a lot of things right. Is it because they have a guy named General Butt Naked? Perhaps. When was the last time you heard the Liberian army complain about insurgents or missing Humvee parts. According to the Daily Telegraph:

A former warlord known as General Butt Naked has confessed to Liberia’s post-conflict reconciliation commission that his men killed 20,000 people during the country’s civil war.

The feared rebel commander earned his nom de guerre for charging into battle dressed only in his boots, at the head of a gang of fighters known as the Butt Naked Battalion.

The nude gunmen became known for terrorising villagers and sacrificing children whose hearts they would eat before going into battle during Liberia’s 14-year on-off civil war which ended in 2003.
I am way too scared to sign up for the US Army, but I would give my left testical to tell my friends I was part of the Butt Naked Batallion...although they'd probably figure it out when they saw me sitting on my couch completely naked and gnawing on some kid's heart.