Scarlett Johansson Won’t Have Sex With You Now
If you figured Scarlett Johansson was sad and alone and that you were the one who would sweep her off her feet…well you’re a retard if you thought that. According to HollywoodRag.com she is now engaged to Ryan Reynolds:
The ‘Lost in Translation’ actress, who has been dating Ryan for almost a year, is said to be smitten with the ‘Smokin’ Aces’ star and has accepted his marriage proposal.
A source said: “We can expect an engagement announcement from Ryan and Scarlett any day now. They are very much in love and have decided to take the next step. Scarlett is thrilled!”
But, with every story there is a silver lining. At least you won’t have to…um, I mean, there’s always…nope. Sorry, this story pretty much sucks all around. Congratulations Ryan. I definitely hope you don’t suffer a non-lethal, but serious injury that horribly disfigures your face.
Tags: engaged, ryan reynolds, scarlett johansson
January 22nd, 2008 at 9:40 am
That god damned lucky bastard. He stole my woman.
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 am
NO! NO! NO! One thousand times NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:54 pm
This is a sad day.
January 22nd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Been there, done that. Don’t worry guys you didn’t miss much. Oh wait! Shit it’s 8a.m.
January 22nd, 2008 at 5:49 pm
as i saw this article, keep hope alive by crystal method started playing on my itunes, so i’m pretty sure this is no big deal.
January 22nd, 2008 at 6:05 pm
No worries. He’ll probably end up dead in an apartment in NYC.
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:29 pm
She sucks. Seriously look at her..killer body yes but one eye is looking one way and the other is looking in the opposite direction. FUGLY!
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
which_is_worse_news (HeathLedger.isAlive = “false” || ScarleJohansson.isEngaged = “true”)
January 23rd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
http://www.rte.ie/arts/2008/0123/johanssons.html