Coach’s teach their players about teamwork, discipline and toughness. It’s their job to serve as a role model to inspire those around them to leave it all out on the field. But instead, these coaches only inspire us to laugh at them when they act like spoiled little brats. Whether its sucker-punching players, fighting each other or whining about the media, these coaches are great big bags of Massengill.

BOBBY PETRINO, Atlanta Falcons (Kind of)
Quitting on your team in the middle of an NFL season to take a college coaching job is one thing. But informing them by leaving a terse four-sentence note on their locker doesn’t make you a douchebag. It makes you a douchebarrel.

WOODY HAYES, Ohio State
As a coach, it’s your job to set an example for your players. For instance, if a player from the opposing team intercepts the ball, it’s important to remember to punch him in the face as he runs down the sidelines. Woody is also remembered for picking up a yardage marker and hurling it across the field like a javelin when a call went against him in a game against Michigan. I think a good rule is: if you’re angry and you hurl something that’s not a javelin as if it were one, you’re an asshole.

BOBBY KNIGHT, Indiana, Texas Tech
In the annals of douche-dom, to remember Bobby Knight solely for his chair throwing incident would be like remembering Da Vinci only for The David. Knight has done so much more. He’s choked players, yelled obscenities at reporters, and now he pulls a Petrino and quits on his team midseason. And if that wasn’t disgusting enough, he had a cameo appearance in the movie Blue Chips. Shame on you Mr. Knight. Shame on you.

JIM MORA, Indianapolis Colts
After every loss, media members knew they could get Jim “Playoffs?!” Mora to say something really stupid. He’s like that Uncle who comes over to your house only on major holidays: You wait for him to get drunk, ask him about Vietnam and then sit back and enjoy the show.

BILL BELICHICK, New England Patriots
Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly: If Bill Belichick thought he could guarantee a win by sacrificing a baby before each game, would he do it? Even if you answered no, you thought about it for a little bit, didn’t you? And let’s not forget his pleasant demeanor. He’s got all the charm of a searing case of gonorrhea.

MIKE GUNDY, Oklahoma State
You have to be tough to make it in the world of sports. Unless you play football for Mike Gundy. Mike doesn’t think the media should say anything bad about any of his players. Even if the player sucks. You media members are just big meanies and if you call us names we’ll take our ball and go home. Now who wants ice cream!

JOHN CHANEY, Temple
In a post-game altercation with John Calipari, John Chaney screams, “I’ll kill you!”, “When I see you, I’m gonna kick your ass!”, “Kick your ass!”, “I’m gonna tell my kid to knock your kid in the f***in’ mouth!” OK, now that I think about it, Chaney’s pretty cool.

Minor League Baseball Manager Goes Nuts - Watch more free videos
PHIL WELLMAN, Mississippi Braves (minor league)
There are a few right and wrong ways to disagree with an umpire. A right way would be to kick dirt on his feet and scream in his face. A wrong way might be to crawl behind the mound like a Navy Seal and throw the rosin bag like a grenade. Another wrong way might be to try to be taken seriously when you’re a fat bald guy throwing a tantrum.

Tags: bill belichick, bobby knight, bobby petrino, coaches, douchebags, jim mora, john chaney, mike gundy, phil wellman, woody hayes

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