February 26th, 2008 | 06:22
Because when you're not the Daddy, you just feel like going on Maury Povich and dancing.
7. The White Handkerchief Of Victory
Any time you can lead the crowd in cheers while you perform a somewhat complicated dance routine, all in celebration that you didn't impregnate a woman, you have a good shot at making this list. But what really did it for me, was the improvisation here. He removed a handkerchief and rather elegantly waved it to the crowd, as if he owned a horse that just won the Kentucky Derby.
6. The X-Factor
I love this one for a couple reasons. First, the skanky white trash girlfriend the guy has sitting next to him who reacts like she's just been called as the next contestant on The Price Is Right. The second and more important reason is that after the dude finds out, he gives the woman the Stone Cold Steve Austin move of making an X with his arms and slamming it down towards his crotch. Any time you can incorporate wrestling moves in to your celebration, you get on this list.
5. The Backwards Superman
First he flings his body backwards with reckless abandon, then he bursts into a sprint, which probably reaches speeds of 27-28 miles per hour. They should enter this guy in the 100 meters in the olympics and then instead of firing a gun to start, they just have Povich next to him going "You are....NOT THE FATHER!" I guarantee he at least places in the top three.
4. The M. Night Shyamalan Ending
What twists and turns in this one. Maury delivered this one perfectly. You think everything worked out fine and then.... BOOM! This is like the Sixth Sense of Paternity test reveals.
3. The Hat Throw
This ranks high because the guy pulls two separate, but equally awesome/despicable moves. When the first baby isn't his, he throws his hat in the woman's face. That's exactly what you want when you find out your child is fatherless; a Kangol to the face. Then, the second prospective baby isn't his and he attempts to hug the woman who's baby it is while he screams in her face with joy.
2. The Oblivious Idiot
It's not so much the reaction this guy has, although the spaghetti arm run to the back is executed perfectly. No, this one ranks this high because it never occurred to this guy that even though BOTH he and his girlfriend are white and the baby is CLEARLY African American, the child might not be his. Never underestimate the power of denial combined with stupidity.
1. The Wade Robson
We've seen a few guys dance upon hearing the news, but this guy's routine is so eloquent, I feel like I'm watching a back up dancer during a Shakira performance during the half time of the Super Bowl. You don't just happen upon dance moves like this, meaning he potentially rehearsed this reaction. Meaning, this is number fucking one.
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November fst, 2008 at 11:33 pm
The girl from The Sixth Sense... she's a total slut but I'd take her for a ride around the track.
October fth, 2008 at 10:56 am
This is hands down the funniest thing I've ever Stumbled across. Great job my friend, the descriptions are just perfect for the videos. The guy with white handkerchief is by far the best. Please email me when you do something else similar. Top man.
September fth, 2008 at 07:44 am
i like #2 the best cause that guys a fucking idiot
September frd, 2008 at 03:49 pm
ahhaha...that was freakin hillarious...#1 guy git moves..lol...as would i if I were in his shoes
September fnd, 2008 at 02:27 am
This just goes to show how retarded we all are as a species. this is in a way embarrassing...
September fnd, 2008 at 12:33 am
That was the best thing I've seen allll day, n its been a really good day so far :)
September fth, 2008 at 11:20 pm
I never understood why you would go on this show if you were sleeping around with multiple guys
clearly that's asking to be ridiculed
September fth, 2008 at 12:56 pm
lol - spaghetti armed run hahaha
#3 had me cracking up in my shreddies
gotta love all the wrestling fans correcting the HUGE oversight on DX/Stone Cold
September fst, 2008 at 08:36 pm
@Miguel: recessive genes
@sco: foo!
September fst, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I think #5 shoulda been higher up, maybe 3-4. Good list otherwise!
September fst, 2008 at 03:27 am
for number 1 you meant elegant not eloquent. eloquent is when one speaks well...fool
August fst, 2008 at 11:12 pm
LOLOMFG. YOU ACTUALLY WATCH THIS SHIT!? I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FUCKING GAY YOU ARE. LOL
August fst, 2008 at 04:33 pm
hahahaha oh my god. the black baby with the white trash couple.
RRROOOOFFFLLLLLL
August fst, 2008 at 05:29 am
i just love how EVERYONE runs back stage.
August fth, 2008 at 09:45 pm
LOL, awesome dance #1
August fth, 2008 at 10:23 am
that was soooo funny...
#4 had me in stitches, also wtf with the black kid and the totaly white parents...
seen that coming..
magic list.. stumbled.. :)
August fth, 2008 at 04:10 pm
Man thats not stone cold thats DEE JEN HER RAY SHUN EX
August fth, 2008 at 07:39 pm
yes there are many dicks to go around and the are the SLUTS! SLUTSSLUTSSLUTSSLUTTYWHORESLUTFATVAGOFISTINGSLUTWHORES!!!!!!!
August fth, 2008 at 04:19 am
wtyfxah fzjlnyqow pzbe snhe hfzkisox dmkbg npsfjld
August fth, 2008 at 11:20 pm
You missed the one with Big T. That has got to be on this list.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyz0LS6YjBs
August fth, 2008 at 01:48 am
Those were funny, but sad because in the end it's the children that are suffering because their moms are hos
August fth, 2008 at 11:58 am
#2 was the best. How coul he not know? And yet he breaks down like it's beyond comprehension. Sorry for the guy but man did he have to lie hard to himself on that one...
August fth, 2008 at 04:52 am
I've seen number one a few times before with different music. I think it is most commonly called "Crank Dat Paternity Test"
August fth, 2008 at 04:22 am
...maybe Leon was in one of these videoes...
August fth, 2008 at 02:50 am
wht the hell, they all sucked! and ur discriptions where shockingly terrible. they didnt realy even dipict what the clips showed. get a life
August fth, 2008 at 05:36 pm
To top off all the hysteria and poppin' dance moves, Maury is always off chasin' the rejected chicks and comforting them in their most humiliating moments. In short, Maury's a pimp!
August frd, 2008 at 04:15 am
LOL they're all black.
August fnd, 2008 at 02:54 am
I like the hat in the face...priceless...
August fst, 2008 at 05:10 am
These videos left me depressed and miserable, furious that Maury Povich could single-handedly exploit innocent children - quite literally BABIES - for a paycheck.
So, needless to say, well done.
Also, someone needs to piss in Maury's hair dye.
July fth, 2008 at 01:14 am
The one you called the X factor...I just have to say it and you can call me a freak, I really dont care. But the crotch chop is DX and not Stone Cold. (Although he might have done it at one point way back when.)
July fth, 2008 at 11:02 pm
the one's with the black folks are always the best. especially with all the shucking and jiving.
May fst, 2008 at 12:37 am
haha ive seen number 2 before, i almost died laughin when i saw it on tv
April fth, 2008 at 03:50 am
I haven't seen Maury in some time, but do they REALLY play music for the men to dance to?!?!
March fth, 2008 at 08:57 am
XX
February fth, 2008 at 02:53 am
Classic
February fth, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Haha, I went to school with Andrew hes a kool guy.
February fth, 2008 at 03:36 pm
I caught the list on Global Grind and Im glad I did, to funny. Its a serious topic, but when the baby daddy maybes are proved to not be the father their reactions are priceless. The worst is when a woman has to bring multiple men on the show and they still cant find their donor.
February fth, 2008 at 09:35 am
They play music for the non-fathers now? When did Maury become Jerry Springer?
February fth, 2008 at 08:09 am
how do i turn off this fucking retarded music.
February fth, 2008 at 04:12 am
Very funny, but very fake.
February fth, 2008 at 02:59 am
Classic Material. Pure comedy. I especially love the crotch chop on number 6
February fth, 2008 at 02:55 am
That may be the single greatest blogpost I have ever seen. Maury Povich is God.
February fth, 2008 at 02:27 am
Fcking amazing list! I love the wave the white flag of victory and back up Shakira dancer. Fcking priceless
February fth, 2008 at 12:38 am
wow. amerika is seriously fooooked
February fth, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Wow, every vid except one has been removed by YouTube...there's really no words to describe how much I fucking despise that site.
February fth, 2008 at 09:08 pm
man, whats with the fat white bitches doing all the dark-skinned criminals?
February fth, 2008 at 08:50 pm
I love how that #5 bitch is all up in his face saying "you are the father you are the father". Thats when reality gave her a fuckin hard slap to the face and reminded her she was a fuckin slut and didn't know who her baby daddy was. Dumb bitch thought if she believe it hard enough then that guy would have been the father, then REALITY CHECK!
February fth, 2008 at 06:06 pm
fucking hilarious you sir are my hero. but not my father
February fth, 2008 at 05:10 pm
5000% sure......... maybe
February fth, 2008 at 04:38 pm
Dude, Stone Cold doesn't do the 'suck it' move; thats DX.
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