Because when you're not the Daddy, you just feel like going on Maury Povich and dancing.
7. The White Handkerchief Of Victory Any time you can lead the crowd in cheers while you perform a somewhat complicated dance routine, all in celebration that you didn't impregnate a woman, you have a good shot at making this list. But what really did it for me, was the improvisation here. He removed a handkerchief and rather elegantly waved it to the crowd, as if he owned a horse that just won the Kentucky Derby.
6. The X-Factor I love this one for a couple reasons. First, the skanky white trash girlfriend the guy has sitting next to him who reacts like she's just been called as the next contestant on The Price Is Right. The second and more important reason is that after the dude finds out, he gives the woman the Stone Cold Steve Austin move of making an X with his arms and slamming it down towards his crotch. Any time you can incorporate wrestling moves in to your celebration, you get on this list.
5. The Backwards Superman First he flings his body backwards with reckless abandon, then he bursts into a sprint, which probably reaches speeds of 27-28 miles per hour. They should enter this guy in the 100 meters in the olympics and then instead of firing a gun to start, they just have Povich next to him going "You are....NOT THE FATHER!" I guarantee he at least places in the top three.
4. The M. Night Shyamalan Ending What twists and turns in this one. Maury delivered this one perfectly. You think everything worked out fine and then.... BOOM! This is like the Sixth Sense of Paternity test reveals.
3. The Hat Throw This ranks high because the guy pulls two separate, but equally awesome/despicable moves. When the first baby isn't his, he throws his hat in the woman's face. That's exactly what you want when you find out your child is fatherless; a Kangol to the face. Then, the second prospective baby isn't his and he attempts to hug the woman who's baby it is while he screams in her face with joy.
2. The Oblivious Idiot It's not so much the reaction this guy has, although the spaghetti arm run to the back is executed perfectly. No, this one ranks this high because it never occurred to this guy that even though BOTH he and his girlfriend are white and the baby is CLEARLY African American, the child might not be his. Never underestimate the power of denial combined with stupid.
1. The Wade Robson We've seen a few guys dance upon hearing the news, but this guy's routine is so eloquent, I feel like I'm watching a back up dancer during a Shakira performance during the half time of the Super Bowl. You don't just happen upon dance moves like this, meaning he potentially rehearsed this reaction. Meaning, this is number fucking one.
apparently YOU are the moe-ron, shall i remind you the point of these video clips as maury so eloquently puts it, "you are not the father", i.e. you fuck stick their shit didnt swim for whatever reason.
Fags? I am a woman. I have all my teeth, I am educated, and married to a MAN! (And both my kids are his, no tests required). Never underestimate the power of pro wrestling, my friend. :)
I CANNOT believe you guys omitted the actual, BEST reaction ever to a paternity test on the Maury Show! This guy is the barometer for all paternity reactions of pure, unadulterated joy with a SICK dance move (featuring baby with a receding hairline, male booty dance & a crzy Grandma with a cane for a weapon who they call r2d2)...I present to you the real #1
it was the original degeneration x that did the x-up crotch thrust, with x-pac and "road dawg" jesse james. then, more importantly, x-pac made a sex tape with china. god bless america.
I know I'm going to regret this, but the crotch thing originated when Syxx (X-Pac) was with the NWO in WCW. DX took it and embellished by crossing the hands at the wrists (it's a clever 'X'!) instead of leaving them uncrossed.
And my mom said that watching all that wrestling would never come in handy...
You win a prize for knowing it started in the NWO! Just like "Down where?" "Down THERE!" or later when they had to clean up their act, "Down where?" "You know where."
NWO is the original DX and the only thing they had in common was Sean Waltman who did do a sex tape with Chyna who was engaged to Triple H who was in DX so it all makes sense. Yah...
DX in all its forms did the crotch chop. The original of Triple H and Shawn Michaels, the extended DX (after michaels got seriously injured) of Triple H, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, X-Pac, and Chyna, and the basterdization of the DX legacy in 2008 of Triple H and Shawn Michaels
This is hands down the funniest thing I've ever Stumbled across. Great job my friend, the descriptions are just perfect for the videos. The guy with white handkerchief is by far the best. Please email me when you do something else similar. Top man.
Anonymous 3:16 says I just whupped this guy's ass! He can't go around saying Austin did the X Factor. What? I said he can't go around saying the X Factor was Austin's move. What? It wasn't Austin's move! (LOL and I am a woman so it isn't all fanBOYs out there.)
#2 was the best. How coul he not know? And yet he breaks down like it's beyond comprehension. Sorry for the guy but man did he have to lie hard to himself on that one...
To top off all the hysteria and poppin' dance moves, Maury is always off chasin' the rejected chicks and comforting them in their most humiliating moments. In short, Maury's a pimp!
These videos left me depressed and miserable, furious that Maury Povich could single-handedly exploit innocent children - quite literally BABIES - for a paycheck.
(89 Comments)
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February 1st, 2009 at 01:22 pm
Let's just hope all of those morons use birth control consistently from now on.
May 6th, 2009 at 01:37 pm
apparently YOU are the moe-ron, shall i remind you the point of these video clips as maury so eloquently puts it, "you are not the father", i.e. you fuck stick their shit didnt swim for whatever reason.
January 30th, 2009 at 08:32 pm
The X-Factor was a move by HHH and Shawn Michaels. Not Stone Cold Steve Austin. What Douchebag wrote #6
February 7th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I was going to say the same thing. It actually started with the NWO in WCW and moved to DX. Austin wouldn't be caught dead doing the X factor. lol.
January 31st, 2009 at 11:36 am
wrestling is for fags. you're the douchebag for pointing out a retarded thing like that
February 7th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Fags? I am a woman. I have all my teeth, I am educated, and married to a MAN! (And both my kids are his, no tests required). Never underestimate the power of pro wrestling, my friend. :)
February 3rd, 2009 at 07:13 pm
let me get this straight, a guy who is correcting someone because they got the wrong WRESTLER'S moves is calling someone a duechebag.......haha wow.
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:47 pm
umm...yeah. Cause the wrestling is fake and it's gay....and so are you apparantly.
January 21st, 2009 at 06:08 pm
I CANNOT believe you guys omitted the actual, BEST reaction ever to a paternity test on the Maury Show! This guy is the barometer for all paternity reactions of pure, unadulterated joy with a SICK dance move (featuring baby with a receding hairline, male booty dance & a crzy Grandma with a cane for a weapon who they call r2d2)...I present to you the real #1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUNIWS46vVo&feature=related
January 22nd, 2009 at 07:57 am
I had sex wif yo mama!!!!
January 21st, 2009 at 05:21 pm
Just think about this....
People are CHEERING that another Bastard child has been released upon society.
December 24th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Stupid, DX (Triple H & Shawn Michaels mostly) are the ones that do the crotch-chops.
January 6th, 2009 at 05:13 am
it was the original degeneration x that did the x-up crotch thrust, with x-pac and "road dawg" jesse james. then, more importantly, x-pac made a sex tape with china. god bless america.
January 21st, 2009 at 01:34 pm
I know I'm going to regret this, but the crotch thing originated when Syxx (X-Pac) was with the NWO in WCW. DX took it and embellished by crossing the hands at the wrists (it's a clever 'X'!) instead of leaving them uncrossed.
And my mom said that watching all that wrestling would never come in handy...
February 7th, 2009 at 10:07 am
You win a prize for knowing it started in the NWO! Just like "Down where?" "Down THERE!" or later when they had to clean up their act, "Down where?" "You know where."
NWO is the original DX and the only thing they had in common was Sean Waltman who did do a sex tape with Chyna who was engaged to Triple H who was in DX so it all makes sense. Yah...
January 20th, 2009 at 06:12 pm
DX in all its forms did the crotch chop. The original of Triple H and Shawn Michaels, the extended DX (after michaels got seriously injured) of Triple H, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, X-Pac, and Chyna, and the basterdization of the DX legacy in 2008 of Triple H and Shawn Michaels
January 29th, 2009 at 02:55 pm
Uh...Fake Fighting Fanboy thread is down the hall and to the left guys...jeez, frikken wrestling nerds.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
(somebody needs to leave the doublewide a little more often)...and by somebody,i mean anonymous 1 and 2
January 20th, 2009 at 02:21 pm
LOL, i concur.
It was probably a dork test of somesort....i hope.
January 22nd, 2009 at 08:04 am
PP2U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 9th, 2008 at 10:56 am
This is hands down the funniest thing I've ever Stumbled across. Great job my friend, the descriptions are just perfect for the videos. The guy with white handkerchief is by far the best. Please email me when you do something else similar. Top man.
September 29th, 2008 at 07:44 am
i like #2 the best cause that guys a fucking idiot
January 22nd, 2009 at 07:58 am
YOU FUCK GOATS!!!!!!!!
September 23rd, 2008 at 03:49 pm
ahhaha...that was freakin hillarious...#1 guy git moves..lol...as would i if I were in his shoes
September 22nd, 2008 at 02:27 am
This just goes to show how retarded we all are as a species. this is in a way embarrassing...
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:33 am
That was the best thing I've seen allll day, n its been a really good day so far :)
September 18th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
I never understood why you would go on this show if you were sleeping around with multiple guys
clearly that's asking to be ridiculed
September 4th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
lol - spaghetti armed run hahaha
#3 had me cracking up in my shreddies
gotta love all the wrestling fans correcting the HUGE oversight on DX/Stone Cold
February 7th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Anonymous 3:16 says I just whupped this guy's ass! He can't go around saying Austin did the X Factor. What? I said he can't go around saying the X Factor was Austin's move. What? It wasn't Austin's move! (LOL and I am a woman so it isn't all fanBOYs out there.)
September 1st, 2008 at 08:36 pm
@Miguel: recessive genes
@sco: foo!
September 1st, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I think #5 shoulda been higher up, maybe 3-4. Good list otherwise!
September 1st, 2008 at 03:27 am
for number 1 you meant elegant not eloquent. eloquent is when one speaks well...fool
August 31st, 2008 at 11:12 pm
LOLOMFG. YOU ACTUALLY WATCH THIS SHIT!? I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FUCKING GAY YOU ARE. LOL
August 31st, 2008 at 04:33 pm
hahahaha oh my god. the black baby with the white trash couple.
RRROOOOFFFLLLLLL
August 31st, 2008 at 05:29 am
i just love how EVERYONE runs back stage.
August 29th, 2008 at 09:45 pm
LOL, awesome dance #1
August 29th, 2008 at 10:23 am
that was soooo funny...
#4 had me in stitches, also wtf with the black kid and the totaly white parents...
seen that coming..
magic list.. stumbled.. :)
August 28th, 2008 at 04:10 pm
Man thats not stone cold thats DEE JEN HER RAY SHUN EX
August 27th, 2008 at 07:39 pm
yes there are many dicks to go around and the are the SLUTS! SLUTSSLUTSSLUTSSLUTTYWHORESLUTFATVAGOFISTINGSLUTWHORES!!!!!!!
August 26th, 2008 at 04:19 am
wtyfxah fzjlnyqow pzbe snhe hfzkisox dmkbg npsfjld
August 25th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
You missed the one with Big T. That has got to be on this list.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyz0LS6YjBs
August 19th, 2008 at 01:48 am
Those were funny, but sad because in the end it's the children that are suffering because their moms are hos
August 16th, 2008 at 11:58 am
#2 was the best. How coul he not know? And yet he breaks down like it's beyond comprehension. Sorry for the guy but man did he have to lie hard to himself on that one...
August 9th, 2008 at 04:52 am
I've seen number one a few times before with different music. I think it is most commonly called "Crank Dat Paternity Test"
August 8th, 2008 at 04:22 am
...maybe Leon was in one of these videoes...
August 7th, 2008 at 02:50 am
wht the hell, they all sucked! and ur discriptions where shockingly terrible. they didnt realy even dipict what the clips showed. get a life
August 4th, 2008 at 05:36 pm
To top off all the hysteria and poppin' dance moves, Maury is always off chasin' the rejected chicks and comforting them in their most humiliating moments. In short, Maury's a pimp!
August 3rd, 2008 at 04:15 am
LOL they're all black.
August 2nd, 2008 at 02:54 am
I like the hat in the face...priceless...
August 1st, 2008 at 05:10 am
These videos left me depressed and miserable, furious that Maury Povich could single-handedly exploit innocent children - quite literally BABIES - for a paycheck.
So, needless to say, well done.
Also, someone needs to piss in Maury's hair dye.