Put A Bowling Alley In Your House

You know why no one wants to come over to your house? Aside from the fact that your couch smells like Cheetos and your dog rubs its ass all over everything, you also don't have a freakin' bowling alley. But all that can change now. According to Oh Gizmo:

United Bowling, a Florida based company will install a 2 lane, full regulation length bowling alley in your home complete with genuine AMF and Brunswick equipment like pin stackers and ball returns.

You’ll need a minimal area that’s 88 feet long, 12 feet wide with a 10 foot ceiling, but if the kids have moved out there’s no reason not to demolish their bedrooms in order to make room for such an awesome upgrade.

Of course at $88,000 it’s not a cheap upgrade, but if it was worth it to Daniel Plainview, then it’s worth it to me.
So, it only takes $88,000 for you to be just like the There Will Be Blood guy and the President (those are the only two people I know with bowling alleys in their houses.) You may not have the murderous rage, the calculating will to succeed or even the love of milk shakes (and you still have that problem with your dog), but you will have a bowling alley. And that's gotta count for something. Buy it here.