Jennifer Lopez and that weird thing she’s married to have had their kids. Now it’s presents time. But what will all their celebrity friends get them?

“Jennifer and Marc have been bowled over with so many congratulations messages, cards, flowers, balloons, you name it.

“They have also been sent many gifts from family, friends and fans.”

However, there was one particular present that really proved unique: “Tom and Katie wanted to get them something different and special so they thought a giant fish tank would be great.”

I always find it strange when someone gets you a present that will force you to rearrange shit in your house to make room for it. A giant fish tank is not something you get and say “Oh, I’ll put that next to the fern we have in the living room.” They might as well have been like “Hey, I got you a panic room. I was figuring we could install it in your bathroom or something.” Anyway, I got invited to the baby shower, and I snapped a pic of the tank. I haven’t been sleeping well since.

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