Madonna Is Really Old

March 13th, 2008 | 10:59 pm

This is the cover of Madonna's new album "Hard Candy." I'm not bothered by the fact that she's made a new album. What bothers me is that she's really old and gross and she's dressed like a small child who wandered into her parents closet and started putting stuff on, only her parents are Stone Cold Steve Austin and a Croatian hooker. Here's what Madonna has to say about her album:

Madonna has already claimed her new album Hard Candy, will "kick your ass."

This is kind of sad. It reminds me of when I go back home and my dad tries to relate to me by asking me if I watch "the ock." Then I have to tell him, that a)It's pronounced "The O.C." b)It's been cancelled for over a year and c)No, because even I'm too old to watch it. I feel like seeing Madonna on that album cover would be like seeing George Brett suit up again for the Royals and announce he's hitting third. But she's determined to sell albums. I took it upon myself to create what her 2010 Album will have to look like in order to sell copies.

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13 Responses to "Madonna Is Really Old"

Avenir Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Good afternoon. Someone's boring me. I think it's me.
I am from Bahrain and learning to write in English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Since I wrote the font exception, let me tell you a bit about where we are, and how we got there.If the fonts you are missing don begin with jsmath you should use the page for version."

Thanks for the help :-D, Alaric.

Dirk Says:
February 11th, 2009 at 09:21 am

As a woman of 50 she looks fine, but what is utterly pathetic is trying to be a teenager… but narcissists never age gracefully, they always end up looking like clowns.

Why not be an icon for women that are middle-aged? Create photos that reflect the beauty of a mature woman, instead of some weird-looking plastic pop clone…

To me, its always sensual when a woman follows her age with honoring where she is in her life (well taken care of but not plastic, youthful but not ridiculous: sensual but not cheap etc)

richard Says:
March 24th, 2008 at 11:14 pm

stop talking about madonna your just mad beause you wish you looked aS GOOD AS SHE DOES WE LOVE YOU MADONNA

stop talking about madonna Says:
March 24th, 2008 at 11:03 pm

madonna is the best she looks hot so what she older am 26 and i think she hot

KeeblerKahn Says:
March 16th, 2008 at 05:13 pm

Close your legs grandma, no one needs to see that.

Amish Joe Says:
March 16th, 2008 at 03:29 am

haha, you can all say what you will. But we both know 95% of you would not only bang the hell out of her, but would probably bust a nut before she got ur tighty whities all the way off.