10. Florence Henderson – Polident Denture Cleaner
Just like shampoos and skin care products use hot girls to endorse their products, Polident uses a hot old woman because sex sells. Even if it’s a sexy 74-year-old. [Editor's Note: I would still have sex with Florence Henderson.]
9. ChiChi Rodriguez – Energy Bracelet
Would-be golfers and athletes around America should rock this chintzy piece of crap in the hopes of emulating…Chi Chi Rodriguez? Either way, the jury is in: this thing makes anybody who wears it look like a complete douche.
wilford brimley beetis - Watch more free videos 8. Wilford Brimley – Diabetes Commercials: Liberty Medical
Anybody who watches TBS late at night has seen this gem of a commercial, where Wilford Brimley espouses the glory of Liberty Medical and their superb Diabetes testing supplies. Why choose Wilford Brimley to endorse this product? He was in "Ewoks: The Battle for Endor" and "Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins." Both movies that are shown late at night on TBS. Too bad they didn't show this "Diabeetus" rap remix.
7. Howie Long – Chevy
Everybody’s least favorite football commentator since Joe Theisman, Howie Long has starred in a recent ad campaign for Chevy trucks that features him picking up random dudes off the side of the highway. It reminds us of some kind of serial killer scenario, but it still makes us wonder: why is he picking up dudes off the highway?
6. Anna Nicole Smith – TrimSpa
This magical product did the seemingly impossible by making Anna Nicole Smith hot again. It also may have played a part in killing her, as the only thing the police found in her fridge after she died was TrimSpa and Methadone. Oh well.
5. Bob Dole – Viagra
In one of the more disturbing celebrity endorsements of all-time, Bob Dole was the first to endorse Viagra. But, I'd still rather envision Bob getting it on than hearin that lame Viva Viagra campaign again.
4. George Foreman – Grill
One of the rare celebrity endorsed products that actually works, The George Foreman Grill “knocks out” fat, is convenient and makes a pretty good burger. The best part of this ad campaign, however, is the commercial that features five George Foremans debating over which version of the grill is best. George, with five of you on screen at once, you’ve succeeded where Michael Keaton failed.
3. Randy Savage – Slim Jim
Once upon a time, when you thought of super-processed meat you also thought of Randy “Macho Man” Savage. Donning a red leather cowboy hat and sunglasses with zig-zags all over them, the Macho Man un-hinged lockers and smashed bags of potato chips while teaching us all how to “SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!” To this day, I can't eat any form of processed meat without smashing through the nearest door.
2. 50 Cent – Vitamin Water
When you’re a straight thug who’s been shot nine times, you gain a level of expertise in all things street. So it makes perfect sense that Vitamin Water would give 50 Cent his own signature flavor called Formula 50, because if there’s one thing that all true G’s know, it’s that grape is “the shit” and that “snitches are bitches.”
1. Tom Cruise – Scientology
Perhaps the biggest, and most annoying, celebrity endorsement of all time is Tom Cruise’s cocksuckery of Scientology. In the last few years, it seems that he has endlessly yapped about his “religion” in some form or another. He’s chastised Brooke Shields, sparred with Matt Lauer, been parodied on South Park, and recently rambled on about how Scientology is the only thing that can change the world. Meanwhile, Cruise has not changed much of anything (unless you count brainwashing Katie Holmes).
I was going to critique your article, but the picture of Bob Dole has got me all riled up - IS TOO SEXY! BUT I MUST!
Also, I love how Brimley basically gives old people shit about Diabetes - "now you fuckin old timers go out there and get liberty or a swear to fuckin God me and dia-bittis is gonna get you"
I think methadone is the guilty one for misses’ Smith death. Methadone is used as a replacement for cocaine in Drug rehabilitation. She is the guilty one for her son’s death too. Daniel was stealing methadone from her and she did nothing about it.
50 Cent was a shareholder of Energy Brands, the producer of Vitamin Water. He's a big name, so he also endorsed the product. It was only fitting he have his own Vitamin Water drink, Formula 50. Do some more research before posting this crap. Besides 50 Cent, the rest of these are just stupid. Celebrities are the reason half the useless products on the shelves of supermarkets sell. People buy and try products when they see a celebrity endorsing the product. Thus, helping the economy. Who cares who endorses it.
(3462 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
April 1st, 2008 at 06:39 am
STupid fuking post, who gives a shit, all sorts of celebrities endorse stupid shit so stfu
April 1st, 2008 at 03:19 pm
Wow Tom, what an insightful comment.
April 2nd, 2008 at 04:00 pm
Don't you know that 50 Cent owned Vitamen Water? He made a boatload of money when it was sold to General Mills.
April 2nd, 2008 at 04:49 pm
What, no Orson Welles wine?
April 2nd, 2008 at 06:39 pm
This is a very boring article, expected much more after clicking through to it on Reddit
April 2nd, 2008 at 08:45 pm
This is dumb, Howie Long is one of the most respected commentators in the NFL
April 2nd, 2008 at 09:35 pm
I was going to critique your article, but the picture of Bob Dole has got me all riled up - IS TOO SEXY! BUT I MUST!
Also, I love how Brimley basically gives old people shit about Diabetes - "now you fuckin old timers go out there and get liberty or a swear to fuckin God me and dia-bittis is gonna get you"
April 3rd, 2008 at 02:12 am
SlimFast is what was in Anna Nicoles fridge when she died, not TrimSpa. that's what made the story funny/ironic!
March 31st, 2009 at 07:08 pm
I think methadone is the guilty one for misses’ Smith death. Methadone is used as a replacement for cocaine in Drug rehabilitation. She is the guilty one for her son’s death too. Daniel was stealing methadone from her and she did nothing about it.
April 18th, 2009 at 06:26 pm
50 Cent was a shareholder of Energy Brands, the producer of Vitamin Water. He's a big name, so he also endorsed the product. It was only fitting he have his own Vitamin Water drink, Formula 50. Do some more research before posting this crap. Besides 50 Cent, the rest of these are just stupid. Celebrities are the reason half the useless products on the shelves of supermarkets sell. People buy and try products when they see a celebrity endorsing the product. Thus, helping the economy. Who cares who endorses it.
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