Couple more stories like these and Sudan’s NEVER going to get to host the Olympics. Usmagazine.com reports:

During a recent trip to southern Sudan, [George Clooney] said he was going through checkpoints when muggers attacked him.

“There were all these young kids with AK47s,” Clooney, 46, tells British men’s magazine Zoo Weekly. “They pointed guns at us and stole what they could. It happens all the time.”

There’s no way he was that calm and collected while a group of Sudanese muggers holding AK-47s mugged him. I’m pretty sure his asshole made sure to introduce his pants to his shit. What’s more interesting to me about this story, is that there’s some dude in Sudan walking around with Clooney’s stuff. Maybe he’ll come to America and steal Clooney’s identity and people will be like, “Hey, you sure you’re George Clooney?” and the Sudanese dude will blink a few times intensely, purse his lips, and say in a really forced American accent “No no, I am in fact Mr. Clooney. Watch as I tell a self deprecating joke, then immediately segue into a serious social topic.” Then everyone will be like “Wow. I’m sorry I doubted you.” Anyway, I found the Sudanese dude, and he showed me what he took off Clooney.

Tags: George Clooney, Sudan

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