Never Ask A Cow For Help

April 9th, 2008 | 11:25 am

cow fence
Cow #1: Hey Dave, can you give me a hand for a second. I think my neck is stuck in this fence.
Cow #2: No problem. I'll be right over.

cow fence
Cow #1: Thanks a lot. This is soooooo embarrassing. I have no idea how it happened. One second I'm scratching my back on this post and then...well, here I am.
Cow #2: Don't even worry about it. So, how are things otherwise?

cow fence
Cow #1: Not bad. The kids are good. Tommy starts school this year...um, Dave?
Cow #2: Yeah?
Cow #1: I appreciate your help. I really do. But are you sure this is the best way to get me out of this fence?
Cow #2: Hang on. We'll have you out of there in no time.

Comments

8 Responses to "Never Ask A Cow For Help"

  1. tallboy7 Says:

    Good morning. Here's pics of cows fucking.

    Thanks, bro

  2. KeeblerKahn Says:

    This is like a bovine version of OZ.

    Sometimes a cow has to do things he's not proud of just to survive. That's life in the pen.

  3. someguy Says:

    hey, cows are girls and bulls are guys...

  4. Dirt Magirt Says:

    I would be the bottom cow.

  5. Shaf Says:

    It should be re-posted: 'Hot Girl on Girl Action!!'

  6. franknstein Says:

    Um, I believe these are both males - I do believe in the first picture, I see the "stem of the apple"

  7. Ramlag Says:

    I'm disappointed in the lack space odyessy references. "you're hurting me Dave..."

  8. </a></cite> Says: <br> <small class="commentmetadata"><a rel="nofollow" href="/2008/04/10/never-ask-a-cow-for-help/#comment-597569" title="">May 13th, 2009 at 09:48 am</a> </small> <p>Interesting. No more comment :).<br /> I am from Uzbekistan and too bad know English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Oao avtovaz, which is promised to the amount of state billion, will reduce the salary of its top managers.With avtovaz and will be located at the avtovaz plant in the city of togliatti."</p> <p>Thank you very much :-D. Min.</p> <div class="comment_reply_btn"><a rel="nofollow" class="comment_reply_link" href="/comment/reply/775/597569"><img border="0" src="sites/default/themes/holytaco2/images/reply_btn.png"> </a></div> </li> </div></div> <!-- /comment-inner, /comment --> <div class="box"> <h2>Post new comment</h2> <div class="content"><form action="/comment/reply/775" accept-charset="UTF-8" method="post" id="comment-form"> <div><div class="form-item" id="edit-name-wrapper"> <label for="edit-name">Your name: </label> <input type="text" maxlength="60" name="name" id="edit-name" size="30" value="Anonymous" class="form-text" /> </div> <div class="form-item" id="edit-mail-wrapper"> <label for="edit-mail">E-mail: </label> <input type="text" maxlength="64" name="mail" id="edit-mail" size="30" value="" class="form-text" /> <div class="description">The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.</div> </div> <div class="form-item" id="edit-homepage-wrapper"> <label for="edit-homepage">Homepage: </label> <input type="text" maxlength="255" name="homepage" id="edit-homepage" size="30" value="" class="form-text" /> </div> <div class="form-item" id="edit-comment-wrapper"> <label for="edit-comment">Comment: <span class="form-required" title="This field is required.">*</span></label> <textarea cols="60" rows="15" name="comment" id="edit-comment" class="form-textarea resizable required"></textarea> </div> <ul class="tips"><li>Allowed HTML tags: <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd></li><li>Lines and paragraphs break automatically.</li></ul><p><a href="/filter/tips">More information about formatting options</a></p><input type="hidden" name="form_build_id" id="form-2f74f492787b55cadb7094e1de8e0bce" value="form-2f74f492787b55cadb7094e1de8e0bce" /> <input type="hidden" name="form_id" id="edit-comment-form" value="comment_form" /> <fieldset class="captcha"><legend>CAPTCHA</legend><div class="description"><p style="font-size:14px;">If you don't want to figure out this word every time you comment, please either <a href="/user">login</a> or <a href="/user/register">register for an account</a>.</p></div><div class="form-item" id="edit-captcha-response-wrapper"> <div class="description"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://api.recaptcha.net/challenge?k=6Lfc-AYAAAAAAKnoLOGe_Vt_UVfGGz-W0PytPR8S"></script> <noscript> <iframe src="http://api.recaptcha.net/noscript?k=6Lfc-AYAAAAAAKnoLOGe_Vt_UVfGGz-W0PytPR8S" height="300" width="500" frameborder="0"></iframe><br/> <textarea name="recaptcha_challenge_field" rows="3" cols="40"></textarea> <input type="hidden" name="recaptcha_response_field" value="manual_challenge"/> </noscript></div> </div> <input type="hidden" name="captcha_token" id="edit-captcha-token" value="455d2a6b8e68644cbd00352b576f59b0" /> </fieldset> <input type="submit" name="op" id="edit-submit" value="Submit" class="form-submit" /> <input type="submit" name="op" id="edit-preview" value="Preview" class="form-submit" /> </div></form> </div> </div> </ol> </div> </div> <!-- Right column --> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <form action="/2008/04/10/never-ask-a-cow-for-help/" accept-charset="UTF-8" method="post" id="drupal-sphinx-search-block-form"> <div><div class="search-block" style="float:left;width:350px;"> <div class="s-box-container"> <div class="form-item" id="edit-drupal-sphinx-search-block-form-1-wrapper"> <input type="text" maxlength="128" name="drupal_sphinx_search_block_form" id="edit-drupal-sphinx-search-block-form-1" size="15" value="" title="Enter the terms you wish to search for." onclick="clearSearch(this);" class="form-text" /> </div> <div style="float:left;width:30px;"><input type="image" src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/themes/holytaco2/images/search-btn.gif" name="op" id="edit-submit" value="Search" class="form-submit" /></div> <input type="hidden" name="form_build_id" id="form-980e95c44f35a6716d3adb896313ddbb" value="form-980e95c44f35a6716d3adb896313ddbb" /> <input type="hidden" name="form_id" id="edit-drupal-sphinx-search-block-form" value="drupal_sphinx_search_block_form" /> </div> </div> </div></form> </div><div class="block"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> ord=Math.random()*10000000000000000; 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