If you really really really like complete and total watered down bullshit stories, then you're going to love Sarah Larson's recounting of how her and George Clooney met. Now, I've put what she said through my patented Bullshit Translator 5000 ®, so after each of her quotes, I'll use the translator to find out what she's really saying. People.com reports:
"It was on his birthday three or four years ago at Whiskey at [Vegas's] Green Valley Ranch," Larson says
BT 5000:I don't remember when it was, all I know is me and my girlfriends had a bag of cocaine and needed a weiner to snort it off of, so I wandered into some bar, or maybe it was a motel room. Who knows.
The actor was with a group of pals, including Whiskey Bar owner Rande Gerber (Cindy Crawford's husband). "I was with some friends. We were all dancing, taking pictures, being silly."
BT 5000: He was a total asshole. He kept shouting, "I'm George Clooney! I'm George f&*king Clooney!," while his friends held up stacks of hundred dollar bills and looked at me while they mimed acts of fellatio.
Then, when Clooney arrived in Vegas for the Ocean premiere last summer, "he heard I was working at Moon [nightclub]." The actor tracked her down, she says, and "we hung out."
BT 5000:We screwed when ever he had a free second. Once, he took me to a Lakers game and I gave him an hand job while Matt Damon explained the plot of the Bourne Ultimatum to him.
Did anyone notice how George Clooney should be the one on crutches? The last time I saw someone with their feet perpendicular they just got kicked in the Jewels and were laying on the ground crying about laugh that their mom went to prison.
You know what, you're right. I can admit when I'm wrong. Why the fuck use a picture with someone on crutches if you're not going to comment on it. Agreed.
You do realize you missed out on a golden opportunity by not bringing the fact that she's in crutches into the story, right?
It should've been like when that one newscaster had a black eye because he got into a gangsta gunfight with Dan Rather because he called him a pussy bitch.
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April 13th, 2008 at 10:41 am
George Clooney reportedly likes cripples.
April 13th, 2008 at 03:46 am
Did anyone notice how George Clooney should be the one on crutches? The last time I saw someone with their feet perpendicular they just got kicked in the Jewels and were laying on the ground crying about laugh that their mom went to prison.
April 12th, 2008 at 03:31 am
You know what, you're right. I can admit when I'm wrong. Why the fuck use a picture with someone on crutches if you're not going to comment on it. Agreed.
April 11th, 2008 at 08:17 pm
You do realize you missed out on a golden opportunity by not bringing the fact that she's in crutches into the story, right?
It should've been like when that one newscaster had a black eye because he got into a gangsta gunfight with Dan Rather because he called him a pussy bitch.
April 11th, 2008 at 02:18 am
Where oh where can I get my own BT 5000? I soooo need one. lmao
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