Now, I've begun to notice that some of your comments are pretty f-ing funny. Others, very disturbing. Either way, I enjoy them. So in an effort to reward those who make my job a little more interesting, we're going to give away a Holy Taco shirt (pictured above in all its glory) to whoever has the best comment on any post during the week. Hopefully the prizes in the future will get better than just a t-shirt. God I hope they do. But for now, that's what we're giving out. So, your winning comment could come from any comment you post on any article during the week.
Mr. jhazline_20
I do so love the way that you took the time to carefully fashion a paragraph dealing with the subject at hand for the sole purpose of dubiously planting your marketing webpage link in that crudely fashioned title area.
The way quickly skimmed down to the bottom and critiqued the whole page and labeled it as people trying to "ruin your day" without actually reading and soaking up the humor there in.
You sir are a pioneer in the wily ways of google. You marketing folk sure do have my respect and admiration, I mean the way you bank on Google to send millions possibly gozillions of click thru dollars your way. Even thought I have been told its more like thirty bucks a month, do not be discouraged. Surely sir, you will be a Internet Bazillionaire in no time at all. And for you effort sir, I do so pray that you get the t-shirt. I am rooting for you sir.
Wow! a black t-shirt with a taco print! Guys i really love it. I really love black shirt and I really love taco. I agree too that some of the comments here are quite disturbing, I think they just want to ruin your day but never mind them, anyhow, nice price. I anticipate to have one of that so soon....
__________-
jhazline_20
Highly relevant, efficient advertising to forum, blog, wiki and other types of web sites. Drive large number of visitors to your website and build quality links. http://www.widecircles.com
I have been away for a few days and now that I have returned, I see that there are several comments that if I were to respond to all of them, I may have to ask Holy taco to let me turn this webpage over and write on the back for more room.
Mr Ice: I see that like me, you too are endowed with the gift of gab. I agree that even the shortest of comments may very well with the prize. Even though I may not whole heartedly agree with you on one particular point. I believe that creativity flows without limits. Just because the well seems dry doesn't mean there isn't water at the very bottom. But I do admire you for the way pulled the pin on those two puns, threw them out there and then ran like hell for exit. Yes sir, you have the gift and I salute you for it.
Mr Whoa: let me just say that your idea of a theatrical production based on this page, is a genuine idea looking for a place to happen. Some might say, not the greatest of ideas, but those people are unable to see the shear genius of your concept. A stage production with these particular life sized characters is bound to draw an audience. Not exactly the kind of audience that you might ask to watch your kid, while at the Laundromat, so you can go get quarters out of the car, but an audience none the less. Of course the production would have to be toned down a bit to be more suitable for general audiences.
The cast would include some lovable characters. Hilty the Dildo, Andy the Anus. And those laughable Siamese twin testicles joined at the Vast Deference, Biff and Bradley. Those two are a hoot, living together in the same scrotum since birth. Being in such close proximity to Andy, they have all become great friends. Hilty is always trying to talk Andy into a game of "Open up, I promise! Only a inch!" Andy falls for that every time. They don't call him Hilty for nothing I suppose. Panic ensues and things go terribly awry when Mr Reach Around comes to town.
But a bigger question would be, where would we find someone willing and able to design the costumes. The giant dildo maybe, but a life sized talking Muppet anus, I dare anyone to visit your local seamstress with that request.
Of course a suitable title for this production would need to be given some thought.
Oh well I have gone on long enough. I believe more people will stand up and make there voices heard. After all, It isn't the t-shirt give-a-way's or all this talk of rectal breach that keep us coming back. No sir, its definitely Milf Monday's.
I think this article was just about the contest, not a place for everyone to try and write their best comment. The judging is covering all of Holy Taco's articles over the span of a week.
If I'm correct in what I'm saying, I think most of you just blew your load already. And I'm saying that because that is some intensely creative shit I just read up there. Unfortunately, because you've all prematurely ejaculated all your creative juices it might take you some time to recoup.
Wow, there are some dudes in here who really want to win a shirt, and really like talking about gay men and anal. Let me assure you that if I won this shirt, not only would I wear it everyday*, I would wear it to my friend Randell's wedding this May* and take a picture of me with the bride and groom while wearing this shirt*.
if someone turned this whole list of posts in a live theatre production it'd be a huge hit. You can even have Pside come out after every scene and ease the tension with a well written piece on the anal debauchery just witnessed by the crowd. Not only that, but the philisophical experiences to be had from the BTTF2 nostalgia would just elevate the whole production to Masterpiece standards. A on stage self administered reach around may be a bit risque but I think the theatre buisness could benefit from such a well placed controversial blow to the balls. (no pun intended)
Mr B, Again you have proven yourself worthy of even the most complex of forum banter. I believe I speak for Justin when I say that we stand corrected. Your expertise in these matters goes way beyond your knowledge of anal debauchery.
And your almost Ebert & Roeper style review of Back to the Future II makes me want to take out that old VHS dust it off and put in back in the case, just for old time sake. I commend you sir and whole heartedly agree with you. I too give it a thumbs up.
Pratik, Chaosman You are most certainly right. I believe at Wal-Mart we could have squeaked past them with most of the cinema talk, however I am certain that Wal-Mart and their Censor-Nazi's, caving to the pressure of the average soccer mom, would have quickly scuttled the all parts of the conversation dealing with autonomous man love. But as with anything, its worth a shot.
lol. You know, I've really gotta say, this whole "person with the best comment of the week gets a coveted free t-shirt" has really taken this site to another level. The well-thought-through comments have virtually doubled the humorous prose on this site. The best part though? All the great posts have cut into my masturbation time, which has really cut down on my penis chaffing. Thanks Holy Taco. Thanks.
A conversation that goes from gay masturbation to alternate realities with smooth transitions... someone please write all this down and sell it at the local Borders. I guarantee at least #5 on the NY Times bestseller list.
I'd just like to break in here and mention that it was not Biff who explained the parallel Hill Valley realities to Marty McFly; it was Doc Brown. If you'll refer to the movie, the parallel realities explanation occurs in the Doc's dilapidated and grungy laboratory after Biff tries to murder Marty on the rooftop of the Casino (the murder weapon you ask? THE SAME GUN that killed Marty's father). So what did Biff explain to Marty prior to the attempted murder? He merely explained how he obtained Grey's Sports Almanac. No alternate realities were discussed. Biff doesn't know there are alternate realities; besides, if he knew about them, he's too stupid to explain them. Let's not forget his quotable quotes: "make like a tree and get out of here" and "that's about as useful as a screen door on a battleship." I really like Back to the Future II.
Well said Pratik. I am not sure what's funnier in that last statement, the part about cotton candy/whiskey or the part where you admitted going to see the Matrix Reloaded in the theater. In any case a very good analogy.
Justin, your analogy of Biff’s explanation to Marty McFly in Back To The Future II is right on the money... except I am almost certain that Biff's explanation did not involve shoving a dildo up his own ass or trying to perform some sort of self reach-around contortion procedure either. But that part may be in the deleted scenes. And who really knows what goes on behind the scenes on those movie sets. In any case... well said.
I would apologize for starting this discussion, but making people throw up in their mouth with only words and no pictures is too rewarding.
And this is more like when the Architect tried to explain dualities to Neo in The Matrix Reloaded. Everyone in the audience was too loaded on nachos and soda to even give a shit, which is basically what's happening on this page (except here it's probably cotton candy and whiskey instead of nachos and soda).
This is becoming sort of like Biff's explanation to Marty McFly in Back To The Future II, when he tries to explain the different parallel Hill Valleys that occur during time travel.
I would not attempt to answer this question, being that I am in the presence of such great homo-ologist's.
Mr B, I salute you sir, your expertise in this matter is commendable. I like your down right level headed approach to Simultaneous Self Ejaculation {Slash} Anal Reaming.
Sean You immediately answered with a resounding "No!" I commend you for stating what clearly needed to be said. You are a man that without a doubt, needs no tutorial in the proverbial reach around. And your whole concept about "Never letting the Left hand know what the right hand is jacking"... Brilliant! One can only assume that you have given names to each of your testicles as well. Manly names like Biff and Bradley.
Patrik, One can sense a feeling of deep rooted personal experience in this matter. It might be safe to assume that you are a man with a hamster cage full of damp gerbils. I commend you for posting such a hard hitting question in today's society, that any CNN reporter would be hard pressed to top.
As to an answer to your question... I cannot. I could not even begin to construct a feeble attempt at answering this question. Mainly because I cannot comprehend pondering the inner workings of the sphincter, but more so because I just threw up in my mouth, and I need to get to the bathroom quickly, its getting hard and harder to type as my jowls are filling with puke so if you'll excuse me. Good day gentlemen.
Here's the only way I think a homo with a dildo could give himself a reach-around. Like Sean said, someone has to reach around something to technically be giving a reach-around. So here's what I think. Said homo would have to reach around his back like a Magic Johnson-style fast break pass and jerk himself off with a reverse grip. However, he's free to give himself a run-of-the-mill dildo ass fucking. Voila. The solitary reach-around.
If you are the one doing the fucking and you grab the dick of the one who is being fucked, then that's a reach-around, right? In this case, both people (the fucker and the fuckee) are the same person. So he is technically giving himself a reach-around. Right?
I love the structural physics of modern sex. So many possibilities.
no. you have to reach around something for it to be considered a reach around....he's just putting one hand behind his back and one hand in front of his stomach but neither reach all the way around...plus, everyone knows he would have to use his left for the dick and right for the poopchute.
If a gay dude is doing his asshole with a dildo with his left hand and jacking himself off with his right hand, is that technically considered a reach-around?
(33)
May 12th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Mr. jhazline_20
I do so love the way that you took the time to carefully fashion a paragraph dealing with the subject at hand for the sole purpose of dubiously planting your marketing webpage link in that crudely fashioned title area.
The way quickly skimmed down to the bottom and critiqued the whole page and labeled it as people trying to "ruin your day" without actually reading and soaking up the humor there in.
You sir are a pioneer in the wily ways of google. You marketing folk sure do have my respect and admiration, I mean the way you bank on Google to send millions possibly gozillions of click thru dollars your way. Even thought I have been told its more like thirty bucks a month, do not be discouraged. Surely sir, you will be a Internet Bazillionaire in no time at all. And for you effort sir, I do so pray that you get the t-shirt. I am rooting for you sir.
May 10th, 2008 at 12:49 am
Wow! a black t-shirt with a taco print! Guys i really love it. I really love black shirt and I really love taco. I agree too that some of the comments here are quite disturbing, I think they just want to ruin your day but never mind them, anyhow, nice price. I anticipate to have one of that so soon....
__________-
jhazline_20
Highly relevant, efficient advertising to forum, blog, wiki and other types of web sites. Drive large number of visitors to your website and build quality links. http://www.widecircles.com
April 20th, 2008 at 07:22 pm
I have been away for a few days and now that I have returned, I see that there are several comments that if I were to respond to all of them, I may have to ask Holy taco to let me turn this webpage over and write on the back for more room.
Mr Ice: I see that like me, you too are endowed with the gift of gab. I agree that even the shortest of comments may very well with the prize. Even though I may not whole heartedly agree with you on one particular point. I believe that creativity flows without limits. Just because the well seems dry doesn't mean there isn't water at the very bottom. But I do admire you for the way pulled the pin on those two puns, threw them out there and then ran like hell for exit. Yes sir, you have the gift and I salute you for it.
Mr Whoa: let me just say that your idea of a theatrical production based on this page, is a genuine idea looking for a place to happen. Some might say, not the greatest of ideas, but those people are unable to see the shear genius of your concept. A stage production with these particular life sized characters is bound to draw an audience. Not exactly the kind of audience that you might ask to watch your kid, while at the Laundromat, so you can go get quarters out of the car, but an audience none the less. Of course the production would have to be toned down a bit to be more suitable for general audiences.
The cast would include some lovable characters. Hilty the Dildo, Andy the Anus. And those laughable Siamese twin testicles joined at the Vast Deference, Biff and Bradley. Those two are a hoot, living together in the same scrotum since birth. Being in such close proximity to Andy, they have all become great friends. Hilty is always trying to talk Andy into a game of "Open up, I promise! Only a inch!" Andy falls for that every time. They don't call him Hilty for nothing I suppose. Panic ensues and things go terribly awry when Mr Reach Around comes to town.
But a bigger question would be, where would we find someone willing and able to design the costumes. The giant dildo maybe, but a life sized talking Muppet anus, I dare anyone to visit your local seamstress with that request.
Of course a suitable title for this production would need to be given some thought.
Oh well I have gone on long enough. I believe more people will stand up and make there voices heard. After all, It isn't the t-shirt give-a-way's or all this talk of rectal breach that keep us coming back. No sir, its definitely Milf Monday's.
April 18th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Depends on how you get the herpes really.
April 18th, 2008 at 06:45 pm
Herpes giveaway. That's lamer.
April 18th, 2008 at 05:50 pm
I'm sure there has to be something lamer. I just can't think of anything right now.
April 18th, 2008 at 04:06 pm
There's nothing lamer than giving away t-shirts.
April 18th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
I think this article was just about the contest, not a place for everyone to try and write their best comment. The judging is covering all of Holy Taco's articles over the span of a week.
If I'm correct in what I'm saying, I think most of you just blew your load already. And I'm saying that because that is some intensely creative shit I just read up there. Unfortunately, because you've all prematurely ejaculated all your creative juices it might take you some time to recoup.
April 18th, 2008 at 01:44 am
Wow, there are some dudes in here who really want to win a shirt, and really like talking about gay men and anal. Let me assure you that if I won this shirt, not only would I wear it everyday*, I would wear it to my friend Randell's wedding this May* and take a picture of me with the bride and groom while wearing this shirt*.
*I am lying.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
if someone turned this whole list of posts in a live theatre production it'd be a huge hit. You can even have Pside come out after every scene and ease the tension with a well written piece on the anal debauchery just witnessed by the crowd. Not only that, but the philisophical experiences to be had from the BTTF2 nostalgia would just elevate the whole production to Masterpiece standards. A on stage self administered reach around may be a bit risque but I think the theatre buisness could benefit from such a well placed controversial blow to the balls. (no pun intended)
April 17th, 2008 at 08:29 pm
Mr B, Again you have proven yourself worthy of even the most complex of forum banter. I believe I speak for Justin when I say that we stand corrected. Your expertise in these matters goes way beyond your knowledge of anal debauchery.
And your almost Ebert & Roeper style review of Back to the Future II makes me want to take out that old VHS dust it off and put in back in the case, just for old time sake. I commend you sir and whole heartedly agree with you. I too give it a thumbs up.
Pratik, Chaosman You are most certainly right. I believe at Wal-Mart we could have squeaked past them with most of the cinema talk, however I am certain that Wal-Mart and their Censor-Nazi's, caving to the pressure of the average soccer mom, would have quickly scuttled the all parts of the conversation dealing with autonomous man love. But as with anything, its worth a shot.
April 17th, 2008 at 08:25 pm
lol. You know, I've really gotta say, this whole "person with the best comment of the week gets a coveted free t-shirt" has really taken this site to another level. The well-thought-through comments have virtually doubled the humorous prose on this site. The best part though? All the great posts have cut into my masturbation time, which has really cut down on my penis chaffing. Thanks Holy Taco. Thanks.
April 17th, 2008 at 08:10 pm
I agree Pratik but I imagine Wal-Mart won't carry it. Censoring Bastards.
April 17th, 2008 at 07:59 pm
A conversation that goes from gay masturbation to alternate realities with smooth transitions... someone please write all this down and sell it at the local Borders. I guarantee at least #5 on the NY Times bestseller list.
April 17th, 2008 at 07:17 pm
I'd just like to break in here and mention that it was not Biff who explained the parallel Hill Valley realities to Marty McFly; it was Doc Brown. If you'll refer to the movie, the parallel realities explanation occurs in the Doc's dilapidated and grungy laboratory after Biff tries to murder Marty on the rooftop of the Casino (the murder weapon you ask? THE SAME GUN that killed Marty's father). So what did Biff explain to Marty prior to the attempted murder? He merely explained how he obtained Grey's Sports Almanac. No alternate realities were discussed. Biff doesn't know there are alternate realities; besides, if he knew about them, he's too stupid to explain them. Let's not forget his quotable quotes: "make like a tree and get out of here" and "that's about as useful as a screen door on a battleship." I really like Back to the Future II.
April 17th, 2008 at 06:55 pm
Well said Pratik. I am not sure what's funnier in that last statement, the part about cotton candy/whiskey or the part where you admitted going to see the Matrix Reloaded in the theater. In any case a very good analogy.
Justin, your analogy of Biff’s explanation to Marty McFly in Back To The Future II is right on the money... except I am almost certain that Biff's explanation did not involve shoving a dildo up his own ass or trying to perform some sort of self reach-around contortion procedure either. But that part may be in the deleted scenes. And who really knows what goes on behind the scenes on those movie sets. In any case... well said.
April 17th, 2008 at 06:41 pm
I'd get more use out of custom printed Holy Taco toilet paper or urinal cakes for my office.
April 17th, 2008 at 05:25 pm
I would apologize for starting this discussion, but making people throw up in their mouth with only words and no pictures is too rewarding.
And this is more like when the Architect tried to explain dualities to Neo in The Matrix Reloaded. Everyone in the audience was too loaded on nachos and soda to even give a shit, which is basically what's happening on this page (except here it's probably cotton candy and whiskey instead of nachos and soda).
April 17th, 2008 at 05:12 pm
You don't have to be a homo to have fun with Dild-- I've said too much!
April 17th, 2008 at 04:33 pm
And it's a race to the bottom, for the sake of a t-shirt!
April 17th, 2008 at 03:51 pm
I love cock
April 17th, 2008 at 03:23 pm
WOW a taco t-shirt! I will never have to hit on mexican chicks again!
April 17th, 2008 at 03:11 pm
I'm not sure what I just read, but I am certain I regret reading it.
April 17th, 2008 at 02:54 pm
This is becoming sort of like Biff's explanation to Marty McFly in Back To The Future II, when he tries to explain the different parallel Hill Valleys that occur during time travel.
April 17th, 2008 at 01:56 pm
I would not attempt to answer this question, being that I am in the presence of such great homo-ologist's.
Mr B, I salute you sir, your expertise in this matter is commendable. I like your down right level headed approach to Simultaneous Self Ejaculation {Slash} Anal Reaming.
Sean You immediately answered with a resounding "No!" I commend you for stating what clearly needed to be said. You are a man that without a doubt, needs no tutorial in the proverbial reach around. And your whole concept about "Never letting the Left hand know what the right hand is jacking"... Brilliant! One can only assume that you have given names to each of your testicles as well. Manly names like Biff and Bradley.
Patrik, One can sense a feeling of deep rooted personal experience in this matter. It might be safe to assume that you are a man with a hamster cage full of damp gerbils. I commend you for posting such a hard hitting question in today's society, that any CNN reporter would be hard pressed to top.
As to an answer to your question... I cannot. I could not even begin to construct a feeble attempt at answering this question. Mainly because I cannot comprehend pondering the inner workings of the sphincter, but more so because I just threw up in my mouth, and I need to get to the bathroom quickly, its getting hard and harder to type as my jowls are filling with puke so if you'll excuse me. Good day gentlemen.
April 17th, 2008 at 07:54 am
Here's the only way I think a homo with a dildo could give himself a reach-around. Like Sean said, someone has to reach around something to technically be giving a reach-around. So here's what I think. Said homo would have to reach around his back like a Magic Johnson-style fast break pass and jerk himself off with a reverse grip. However, he's free to give himself a run-of-the-mill dildo ass fucking. Voila. The solitary reach-around.
April 17th, 2008 at 06:21 am
If you are the one doing the fucking and you grab the dick of the one who is being fucked, then that's a reach-around, right? In this case, both people (the fucker and the fuckee) are the same person. So he is technically giving himself a reach-around. Right?
I love the structural physics of modern sex. So many possibilities.
April 17th, 2008 at 03:13 am
no. you have to reach around something for it to be considered a reach around....he's just putting one hand behind his back and one hand in front of his stomach but neither reach all the way around...plus, everyone knows he would have to use his left for the dick and right for the poopchute.
April 17th, 2008 at 02:44 am
If a gay dude is doing his asshole with a dildo with his left hand and jacking himself off with his right hand, is that technically considered a reach-around?
April 17th, 2008 at 01:46 am
Seriously, guys, who let the fucking dogs out?
April 17th, 2008 at 01:08 am
i'm 7337. i eat nubcakes with n00bsauce on top and after i have a pwn-it-butter sandwich
April 16th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
god damnit, cocksucking demons go to hell or fuck my ass trying.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
You have inspired my to start my own blog. I put you into my links.
Read my shit i know u will like it.
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