Eli Manning Marries Attractive Woman
First he wins the Super Bowl and now he wins the Super Bowl of Vagina. Usmagazine.com reports:
New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning, 27, and his college sweetheart Abby McGrew, 24, tied the knot Saturday in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
Before the 16-minute ceremony, Manning’s brother Peyton, a quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, whispered words of encouragement to his sib.
Peyton is so wise. Such a field general. What could he have whispered? I think he handed him this play and then gave him the direction below:
PEYTON: “Okay listen, there’s going to be pressure from your left hand side from her father-in-law. He’s going to try and talk to you about the Super Bowl and probably make a snide comment about how the defensive line was the reason you won. Don’t worry about him, I’m going to be on the left and jam him on the receiving line. Now, don’t worry about Abby’s sister, when the priest goes right, she’ll follow because she banged an island local last night and wants to confess. What you do have to worry about is the two deep zone Abby’s brother and mother will be playing, which is right in front of your hotel room. So, toss a look towards the bathroom on your right, mother-in-law and brother-in-law will bite, then cut it back left behind the line of our fat Aunts and you’ll be in your hotel room, balls deep in minutes. Alright, on three. One, two, three, VAGINA!
Tags: Abby McGrew, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning
April 21st, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Was this a Test? If he is geting pressure from HER Father-in-law, that would be HIS Dad. Did I win?
April 21st, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Damn she’s one sexy mama, how old is Eli anyway, 19?
http://www.bannedinhollywood.com
April 21st, 2008 at 6:36 pm
You know, I think he’s 27. LIKE IT SAYS IN THE FUCKING POST.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Nice chart on the “end around” play. After Payton drops a cut-block on the father-in-law to allow the bride past him, Eli shoots through the line, stiff-arms the mother- in- law (who hasn’t DREAMED of that) and goes into the deep end for the score. Hopefully Eli can talk the new bride into a little “rear end around” play at the hotel.
April 21st, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Further proof women are just after your cash.
His face is perfect for abstinence textbooks….he’ll scare kids out of having sex.
April 21st, 2008 at 9:15 pm
I like how the priest has to block the crazy religious sister-in-law. What’re they gonna do, bash each other with their pocket Bibles?
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Oh what I would do to be that Eli for a day.. Err, maybe a night.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
That dude in front of Peyton looks like his face is buried in the column! Or he’s the fat guy trying to hide behind the “skinny tree”.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I’m guessing that fat, bearded guy is the Giants’ center, Shaun O’Hara.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
eli you are so cute i love you