Jenna Bush About To Get Her Ass Taxed
In what was a enormous surprise, Jenna Bush, daughter of former Texas Rangers owner George W. Bush, got married to a Caucasian male from a wealthy family. People.com reports:
The ultra-private wedding on Bush’s gated ranch was the president’s first turn at playing Father of the Bride. In a suit and tie, Preisdent Bush walked his 26-year-old daughter down the aisle to a limestone altar topped by a 4-ft. cross where she and Henry Hager, 30, exchanged vows just as the sun set.
Weddings are boring as dogshit, and the only way they’re not boring as dogshit is if you get hammered. And I’m pretty sure no one is allowed to get more wasted than G. W. It’s like when there’s a cop driving on the freeway, no one passes them. Anyway, if real life was more like a movie, then two wiiiiild and crazy single guys would definitely crash this wedding seeing as there’s some hot rich-girl action to be had. I’m thinking something along the lines of this:
At first Osama and Mahmoud would be like “listen, we get in, we bang some chicks, we pray, we bang some more chicks, we pray, then we get out.” Osama would meet Bush’s other daughter and she’d give him an HJ in the Bush Family horse stables, and he’d be like “Mahmoud, let’s go out, we’re out.” But Mahmoud would have fallen in love with Jenna and demand they stay for just a little longer. Then Osama would go on a 45 second rant filled with witticisms and references to EA sports video games. He’d give in though, and they’d stay, which would produce hilarious scenes where they have to hide out in costume like this:
And this:
I’m not sure how King Jong Il plays in, but he fit nicely when I photoshopped so I said F it and tossed him in there.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
You know, this is in real bad taste and offensive. If Chelsea Clinton gets married, are you going to go on a tasteless attack with photoshop of Monica Lewinsky going down on Bill in Chelsea’s wedding photo. I do not know what this woman ever did, which is nothing, to derserve just a shameful attack on a wedding. I mean you must have had a bad run in life to go after this couple at a very important time in their life. It shows what a complete tasteless, tacky, ignorant, and shameless loser you are to do such a thing. Your opinion does not matter for it is designed to be offensive for attention. You greatest moment in life will be your exit rather than anything you ever did to help rather than hurt anyone you feel fits your fancy.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:22 am
“Does it matter,” A few points…Chelsea Clinton cant get married, unless shes put out to pasture to mate with another horse who cowers away from terrorist attacks…Yes you are allowed to make fun of people at weddings, especially if you dont give two shits about it…Im sure the staff at holy taco is really pissed about being passed over for the fucking Pulitzer because of their “offensive for attention” attitude…your greatest moment in life is sucking off a wannabe power couple…so in the words of Richard Pryor to Eddie Murphy to tell to Bill Cosby, “Have a Coke and a smile and SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Keep up the good work holy taco
May 13th, 2008 at 4:00 am
Zero points for creativity, or photoshopping ability. Ever since Wayne’s World on S.N.L. made fun of Chealsea’s looks, the media has been trying to fix it. She is an ugly spoiled brat who can’t handle a tough question. The Bush girls are hot, especially Barbara. No matter how dumb George is or sounds, just remember, Gore AND Kerry were worse options! LoL
May 13th, 2008 at 9:02 am
i wanna party with you man, you seem to be a guy who knows how to buzzkill a drunk stripper in need of blow
May 13th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Funny as hell guys. Kim Jong Il fits in well, and I have to say that he is unfortunatley probably the best of the lot. As far as “does it matter is concerned, I wouldn’t worry too much about the bush twins or anybody else in that family, thanks to the 4000 + american soldiers and countless Iraqi and Afganee’s that have died to make them as rich as they are, I sure the whole lot of them will live long happy lives.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:13 am
And let’s not forget about the $40M gala events they are throwing currently while U.S. soldiers in Iraq are having a hard time staying alive because of insufficient armor.
Dipshits.