Being cool is normally subjective. But there are some things that unequivocally make you uncool. We're not saying we're cool, we're just saying if you own any of these items, you're not.
10. iPhone
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: You can access e-mails, high speed internet, and watch videos, all on your phone. Because really, normal people around you are so f*&king boring you can hardly bear actually interacting with them.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: I’ve done some research and iPhone is actually a Japanese word that means “something that’s not able to be put in a pocket and instead must be carried in your hand at all times or set on the table in front of you so that any one around you can see it.” This may sound shocking, but when someone remarks how hot it is, they’re not asking you to look up the temperature in both farenheit and celcius, or show them a clip on a 3 inch screen from "An Inconvenient Truth" in an effort to relate this heat to global warming.
9.Ironic Belt Buckles
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Now you can show up in bars and point at your belt buckle and tell people that you are a "Rodeo Champion" or a "Pac Man" or a "Truck Driver" or a "Jack Daniels." And while they will know that you are actually none of these things, you think you're being playful and a little bit mysterious. You also think this tactic will help you pick up women.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You're the same person who has ironic facial hair (mustache), drinks ironic beer (PBR) and wears ironic T-shirts (Lucky Charms). You spend your entire life trying to look as shitty and poor as possible while, chances are, you have rich parents or a job for an accounting firm that pays you over $60,000. In four years you will be a Republican living in the suburbs and complaining about your 401k over wine spritzers at dinner parties.
8. Blue Tooth Headset
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: All the other losers have to use their hands when they talk on the phone. Not you! You can talk on your phone and at the same time safely give some loser the finger because they’re only driving the speed limit. It’s Tuesday, doesn’t this asshole know you have your jujitsu class at 24 hour fitness to go to?
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: I don’t give a shit if you’re talking to someone on the other end, when you’re in a Subway Sandwiches and they’re trying to take your order while you say “Listen, you give me that paperwork for the Johnson account by tomorrow or it’s your ass. No mayo. I said no Mayo! Yeah, that’s right, Johnson account on my desk! No pepperoncinis!” it’s pretty god damn confusing and asshole-ish to everyone trying to deal with you. Answer your phone when you have time to hold it in your hand. The only people that should be wearing blue tooth wireless headsets are military field generals and the people that work the day after thanksgiving sale at Old Navy.
7. Quoting Austin Powers/Borat/Old School
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Put on your earmuffs because that woman has a vageen that hangs like sleeve of wizard. Yeah, baby! Those movies are HILARIOUS, thus if you can quote them, by default you're hilarious too!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: We all enjoy quoting our favorite movies, but let's put these three to bed. Not only did I have every last bit of dialogue to the Borat movie screamed in my face three months before it came out, but let's face it, Austin Powers wasn't funny 10 years ago. And I still have to hear people telling me that "circus folk smell vaguely of cabbage." On top of it, everyone murders the accents. Whenever I hear some asshole in a bar trying doing his version of Borat, somehow he sounds like a tongueless Canadian with a sock in his mouth. This has to stop or I am going to skip the earmuffs and go directly to cutting my ears off.
6. PT Cruiser
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: It’s like a car from back in the thirties! It’s sleek design and throw back look allows everyone tailgating in the parking lot at the Dave Matthews concert know that you’re a free spirit who is all about having good times!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: If you’ve ever wondered what a gay transformer would turn in to, wonder no more. Not only do they call a retarded amount of attention to themselves on the road, when you drive them you look like a soccer mom whose transporting alcohol during the prohibition era.
5. Tricked Out Bicycles
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: I honestly have no idea.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Instead of looking like some hipper, younger version of a real biker (who actually is cool), you just look like some 8th-grader who blew his allowance on sparklers for his tricycle. With its weirdly-bent handlebars and wacky forks, your "cruiser" looks like the elephant man of bikes. Plus, these things are clearly uncomfortable to ride. I love watching some tattooed douchebag try to look laid back and cool after he had to dislocate both of his shoulders just to reach the handlebars. Not to mention, you could've gotten a friggin' car for what you paid for this piece of crap. Dumbass.
4. Fidel Castro Hats
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Wearing a Fidel Castro hat let’s the world know that you’re different and that you have thoughts and ideas that make you significantly more special and free thinking than those who wear traditional baseball hats.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You know why the Communist Cuba Military can get away with wearing them? Because they carry automatic weapons. You most likely carry a compilation book of Charles Bukowski poems. The tiny bill and camoflauged coloring make you look like a retarded son of a army ranger who had a pair of scissors and access to his father’s closet. I realize you want to tell the world you’re a non-comformist, but unfortunately being a non-conformist means you’re conforming to non-conformism. You might want to ponder that at that next record release party for a band no one’s heard of that you’re pretending to like.
3. Guitar Hero
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Dude, this game totally rocks! I love this song! Hell yes! Welcome to the Jungle, baby! You're gonna diiiiiiiiiiiee!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Despite what the commercial says, you do not suddenly turn into Slash when you're playing this video game. You are playing a child-sized guitar that doesn't even have strings. It has multi-colored buttons and an on/off button. And playing this video game does not mean you can play the guitar now. If I have to hear someone say "I can totally play 'Anarchy in the UK'" but actually mean "I can totally play 'Anarchy in the UK' on Guitar Hero," I am going to take a pee inside the nearest PS3.
2. Longboard Skateboards
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: You’re just a laid back dude who likes to cruise the streets and board walks but still has the credibility shared by those who ride smaller, more dangerous boards.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You’re basically one step away from being the little kid at Costco who jumps on the big grocery cart when his mother isn’t looking. Whereas if a normal skateboarder falls he injures himself, you’re traveling at speeds that allow those walking to pass you, and if you fall, you’ll most likely fall on the board and continue traveling. Hence, you’re basically riding a skateboard designed for those without any coordination or athletic ability. It’d be like playing baseball, except replacing the ball with a giant stuffed animal.
1. Funny Ringtones
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: A ring tone is a great way to give strangers and coworkers a little peek into your personal life and let them know that your grasp of pop culture is vast. You're pretty sure that having a silly quote from Monty Python or the Transformers theme song as your ringtone will make those around you realize that you are a the guy everyone else wants to be. There is definitely more to you than meets the eye.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Having your phone play Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" just makes you look (and sound) like an asshole. And the fact that you let it "ring" 15 times while you stand there and look around for reactions to your hilarious little joke not only reeks of desperation, but it makes everyone around you want to cram that phone up your taint. Put it on vibrate like every other normal person and keep your witticisms between you and your collection of Star Wars figurines.
nice! but you forgot two:
1.) crocs - for people who think they're prepared for a british invasion by land OR by sea, but really are just wearing two shitty and uncomfortable pieces of plastic on their feet.
2.) mesh wife-beaters - not only can the ladies see my arms up to the shoulder, now they can see my amazing chest and stomach too! actually, champ, no one wants to see the beer belly and gratuitous amounts of hair on your upper front. keep it under wraps, preferably ones we can't see through.
you forgot
"saying what is cool and what isn't"
why you think its cool:
because it makes you feel powerful over people and thinking that someone out there is going to follow your advice and do "uncool" things according to you.
why your not cool:
if you were cool you would have a leather jacket open showing your white shirt underneath a muscular build, some cool glasses and slick back hair cut and a blond busty girlfriend who doesn't seem to understand why you only call her to have sex
Yea, I remember "wiggers", they're called "hipsters" now. Instead of wearing clothes that are too big, they now wear clothes that are too small. See #9, Ironic Belt Buckles for an "ex-wigger" at it's finest.
dont have iphone lack one feature I use most? txt messaging? most of the time im too fuckin lazy to even call my gf or friends so i just txt. I hear the iphone doesnt have txting. Thats lacking for an advice that seems so hightech everywhere else lol. But yeh good list. I laughed. U shud mention everything an emo wears, crocs and bandana's as well. Hmm maybe pink shirts and popped collers too. Cuz those people need a slap.
guitar hero is really fun... i myself do not go around saying i know how to play songs on a video game, but it is pretty damn impressive to see someone play a difficult song on guitar hero. Though i do think that pt cruizers are lame, and that "castro hats" are wierd looking, this list is pretty much bullshit.
The Che Guevara t-shirts are something a lot of people do not think about, yes you show everyone you are a revolutionary that fights capitalism, but you are wearing the t-shirts with the design that sells the most and has become the emblem of capitalist t-shirt selling.
1. Always carrying a drink around no matter where the hell you are.
Why you think you are cool: You're such a busy person that you don't even have time to grab a glass of water. Your container is always filled with the trendiest drink, whether it's Starbucks, that fruit shaker powder you mix with water, some herbal tea that makes you feel all spiritual, or some hot cocoa (at 4PM on a July afternoon).
Why you aren't really cool: You have completely bought into the FDA bullshit about having to drink 64 ounces of water each day and can't think for yourself, plus you have to take a piss every half hour which makes you the Detrol LA poster child.
2. For the guys: having the need to sit one seat apart from your friend so others don't think that you're a gay couple.
Why you're cool: Your feel secure with your masculinity and can now commence talking about banging chicks and throwing back beers with your buddy. This is only possible because of that one extra seat in between you two. Take away that little space and it goes from "two guys hanging out" to "GAY" in a heartbeat.
Why you aren't really cool: It's the midnight release of The Dark Knight and the theater is beyond full capacity so move the fuck over, asshole.
(Okay, that's not really an item but it pisses me off badly)
3. Anyone who feels the need to bring their camcorder to any event, no matter how mundane it is.
Why you think you're cool: you are capturing the precious moments of this fleeting life, and are going to carefully label and alphabetically arrange your recordings as soon as you get home.
Why you aren't really cool: you're too busy with zooming, panning, snapping, and cropping to actually enjoy the recital that you are at. Even though you can watch and re-watch the tapes you have at home, you never really got to enjoy it when it actually happened. And by the way, you always end up watching your impressive library of memories alone.
This is so dumb people are who they are.. so shut the fuck up about it already... Have you guys ever played guitar hero? it is for fun.. and well very challenging. So keep your little opinions to your selves and shut the fuck up.....
dUde? you can travel way faster on a longboard than any skate board. long boards are made for bombing hills. i have gotten up to 43 mph on mine. your a douche who is angry at the world probily because you cant do anything on the list well. pussy biatch
#x: Making stupid useless lists like all the other blogger who are looking for attention they can't get in real life, but are trying hard to finally become 'cool'.
I could make this sound funny, but hey, I won't return to this lame site anyway, so I won't. The reason why I'm so negative is BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE like 10000000 times, and it was only fairly funny the first time.
This sucks... Noone can say whats cool and whats not... I myself do things that suits me and not someone else... I dont do things that other people would like to see me doing... If people buy an iPhone just to look cool thats stupid, also for other things. But if they buy an iPhone for their needs (like me) and for developing things for it then whats the big deal?
Okay, I am not guilty of any of the above... except the funny ringtones part! WHAT? WHY? I like them! Whaddya mean 'set it on vibrate like everyone else'? Every Tom, Dick and Harry and their uncle use ringtones. A vibrating phone sounds like a fart when it's on tables, and I hate being startled by something pulsing in my pockets! I'm keeping my X-Files theme song, thanks. At least that's not annoying, to me anyway.
hey lolface, get a fucking grip. this is the internet. people can do whatever they want. it's just for entertainment. i hope you choke on the next dick you suck.
What the hell is wrong with everyone trashing the author. Whether or not you agree with his taste the list was friggin funny. For everyone who got even the slightest bit offended you need to do a nut-check and realize this blog for what it is. Half of you are upset because you don't have enough self esteem to laugh and say "HA HA its true. Even though I freaking rock on Guitar Hero, and go to weekly competitions this guy still makes it funny."
Right... umm did whoever wrothe this longboard article happen to notice how fast this guy downhilling is actually going? street surfing downhill is more hardcore than you idiots realize. fall off at 40mph and see how that feels.
Please for the advancement of society (which I am loosely assuming you are attempting to do with your cute litte list) learn how to use the word "ironic" appropriately.
blowing off steam on the internet instead of going outside and marching to DC to PROTEST! we have millions of things to protest, we need to have ONE MEGA PROTEST
You forgot:
Making lists of shit thats not cool.
Why you think you're cool:
It makes you sound like an authority on things that are not cool, so surely you must know about things that are cool!
Why you're not cool:
The second anyone gives you're "uncool list" much thought, it becomes apparent how much of a douche-bag you are. You confuse "whose" with "who's", steal ideas from other sites (Maddox beat you with the Fidel Castro hat thing only about by a whole 6 months), and it's obvious you have never actually tried longboarding (while going down a hill, speeds can approach 30mph). Furthermore, you probably suck at guitar hero and are just jealous. Try to remember it's just a game, and no-one actually believes they ARE Slash.
hahaha oh my. A personal favourite of mine is when people try to disquise their hurt feelings with big angry comments that always 'cleverly' use paranthesis for witty retorts (Like it makes you cooler if you say something sarcastic in the middle of a sentence) and then proceed to call you illiterate.
seriously guys, who cares about longboards, put things into perspective, guitar hero is a GAME, no need to get so upset. And really, I don't think anyone cares that your mate can go 100km/hr on his awesome longboard, shouldn't he be contributing a bit more to society?
useless skills aren't skills worth having or respecting.
most of you haters are like "omg lyke everyone has their own opinions so stfu!!!1111one." HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT? this list IS an opinion, so swallow your own words. damn.
btw, some of you should actually read these comments before commenting yourself. there are about 20 comments saying "you forgot to add bloggers who write entries about what they think is cool". jesus people repetition is NOT COOL. how about we add "people who COMMENT on blogger's journals bitching about how omg wrong they are because they obviously have no sense of humor and can't understand it's the internet."
okay problem here. I got a PT Cruiser because there's plenty of room to carry my long boards in it. Chicks really seem to dig the cruiser epically if I'm wearing my Castro hat! don't seem to understand the hostility twords the cruiser. I wouldn't give it up for "a million dollars"
you people are awfully angry about this... I guess cause you do one of the above noted things?? and feel like you have to defend it? why do you care so much... chill the hell out! who cares if this guy doesn't like PT cruisers, if you do and you have one good for you... everyone has an opinion, just cause someone doesn't agree with yours doesn't mean you should attack them.. calm down and go play some guitar hero or something...
It's all in how you look at it. I play guitar hero with some friends every now and then, but I certainly don't consider it cool. So I wasn't offended by this article. I think it's hilarious! Keep em coming!
It's really too bad Apple has become a cool icon now. I use Apple hardware and software as a graphic designer/video editor everyday, and I support their products 100%. However, they're giving into the fad now. I think #10 should have been a Macbook Air though. The iPhone integrates well into the other Apple products making it a vital tool, but the Macbook Air....it makes me sad. What a fucking waste.
very funny, but have to disagree with you about guitar hero. Cops don't go around dissing people for hating GTA just because they can shoot people in real life. Likewise pro football players don't hate the "posers" that play Madden.
When was the last time someone ollied a side walk to sidewalk street gap and then bombed a hill after on a longboard? uhhh never! long boards are built for fags who cant do anything on a real skateboard. You can easily go like 35 + on a regular board with some good ol 54mms if you are a REAL skateboarder and not some fucking hippie or middle aged gay dude trying to impress your limp wristed friends. Go pick up an issue of thrasher and find out what real skateboarding is. LONGBOARDERS DON"T KNOW SHIT!
(689 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
May 13th, 2008 at 06:28 pm
nice! but you forgot two:
1.) crocs - for people who think they're prepared for a british invasion by land OR by sea, but really are just wearing two shitty and uncomfortable pieces of plastic on their feet.
2.) mesh wife-beaters - not only can the ladies see my arms up to the shoulder, now they can see my amazing chest and stomach too! actually, champ, no one wants to see the beer belly and gratuitous amounts of hair on your upper front. keep it under wraps, preferably ones we can't see through.
May 13th, 2008 at 06:31 pm
you forgot
"saying what is cool and what isn't"
why you think its cool:
because it makes you feel powerful over people and thinking that someone out there is going to follow your advice and do "uncool" things according to you.
why your not cool:
if you were cool you would have a leather jacket open showing your white shirt underneath a muscular build, some cool glasses and slick back hair cut and a blond busty girlfriend who doesn't seem to understand why you only call her to have sex
May 13th, 2008 at 06:59 pm
Remember "wiggers". That's my number 1.
May 13th, 2008 at 07:07 pm
Codpieces. No wait. they make you totally cool.
May 13th, 2008 at 07:12 pm
Yea, I remember "wiggers", they're called "hipsters" now. Instead of wearing clothes that are too big, they now wear clothes that are too small. See #9, Ironic Belt Buckles for an "ex-wigger" at it's finest.
May 13th, 2008 at 07:23 pm
Screw you!
-- Sent from my iPhone
May 13th, 2008 at 07:41 pm
dont have iphone lack one feature I use most? txt messaging? most of the time im too fuckin lazy to even call my gf or friends so i just txt. I hear the iphone doesnt have txting. Thats lacking for an advice that seems so hightech everywhere else lol. But yeh good list. I laughed. U shud mention everything an emo wears, crocs and bandana's as well. Hmm maybe pink shirts and popped collers too. Cuz those people need a slap.
May 13th, 2008 at 08:32 pm
Hey VV, the iPhone does have texting, but please refrain from writing anything to anyone, this is clearly not your strong point.
May 13th, 2008 at 09:44 pm
Ok, so my longboard sucks ass. But my hoverboard totally rocks! My dad got it for me on a business trip to Japan back in '89. I swear.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
While I'm guilty of #2, I do actually know how to play the guitar. Great list though. I concur.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Sorry, #3 that is....
May 14th, 2008 at 12:52 am
guitar hero is really fun... i myself do not go around saying i know how to play songs on a video game, but it is pretty damn impressive to see someone play a difficult song on guitar hero. Though i do think that pt cruizers are lame, and that "castro hats" are wierd looking, this list is pretty much bullshit.
May 14th, 2008 at 01:28 am
The Che Guevara t-shirts are something a lot of people do not think about, yes you show everyone you are a revolutionary that fights capitalism, but you are wearing the t-shirts with the design that sells the most and has become the emblem of capitalist t-shirt selling.
May 14th, 2008 at 04:13 am
1. Always carrying a drink around no matter where the hell you are.
Why you think you are cool: You're such a busy person that you don't even have time to grab a glass of water. Your container is always filled with the trendiest drink, whether it's Starbucks, that fruit shaker powder you mix with water, some herbal tea that makes you feel all spiritual, or some hot cocoa (at 4PM on a July afternoon).
Why you aren't really cool: You have completely bought into the FDA bullshit about having to drink 64 ounces of water each day and can't think for yourself, plus you have to take a piss every half hour which makes you the Detrol LA poster child.
2. For the guys: having the need to sit one seat apart from your friend so others don't think that you're a gay couple.
Why you're cool: Your feel secure with your masculinity and can now commence talking about banging chicks and throwing back beers with your buddy. This is only possible because of that one extra seat in between you two. Take away that little space and it goes from "two guys hanging out" to "GAY" in a heartbeat.
Why you aren't really cool: It's the midnight release of The Dark Knight and the theater is beyond full capacity so move the fuck over, asshole.
(Okay, that's not really an item but it pisses me off badly)
3. Anyone who feels the need to bring their camcorder to any event, no matter how mundane it is.
Why you think you're cool: you are capturing the precious moments of this fleeting life, and are going to carefully label and alphabetically arrange your recordings as soon as you get home.
Why you aren't really cool: you're too busy with zooming, panning, snapping, and cropping to actually enjoy the recital that you are at. Even though you can watch and re-watch the tapes you have at home, you never really got to enjoy it when it actually happened. And by the way, you always end up watching your impressive library of memories alone.
May 14th, 2008 at 05:01 am
This is so dumb people are who they are.. so shut the fuck up about it already... Have you guys ever played guitar hero? it is for fun.. and well very challenging. So keep your little opinions to your selves and shut the fuck up.....
August 4th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
I'm so gay for you right now...
May 14th, 2008 at 05:17 am
Late addition*People who are on their period viciously defending a video game...aka douchbags
see above
May 14th, 2008 at 05:18 am
Damn fine list. I only wish it were longer.... So fun to get angry at people in this world.
May 14th, 2008 at 05:29 am
dUde? you can travel way faster on a longboard than any skate board. long boards are made for bombing hills. i have gotten up to 43 mph on mine. your a douche who is angry at the world probily because you cant do anything on the list well. pussy biatch
May 14th, 2008 at 07:00 am
i think woah needs a hug
May 14th, 2008 at 07:13 am
You forgot:
11. You make lists of things you dislike and call them uncool
May 14th, 2008 at 07:21 am
#x: Making stupid useless lists like all the other blogger who are looking for attention they can't get in real life, but are trying hard to finally become 'cool'.
I could make this sound funny, but hey, I won't return to this lame site anyway, so I won't. The reason why I'm so negative is BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE like 10000000 times, and it was only fairly funny the first time.
Bet you don't have the balls to publish this
May 14th, 2008 at 08:21 am
#y: Eric. Do us a favor Eric; when you come back to this site (as I know you will) try to say somthing funny.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:23 am
This sucks... Noone can say whats cool and whats not... I myself do things that suits me and not someone else... I dont do things that other people would like to see me doing... If people buy an iPhone just to look cool thats stupid, also for other things. But if they buy an iPhone for their needs (like me) and for developing things for it then whats the big deal?
May 14th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Okay, I am not guilty of any of the above... except the funny ringtones part! WHAT? WHY? I like them! Whaddya mean 'set it on vibrate like everyone else'? Every Tom, Dick and Harry and their uncle use ringtones. A vibrating phone sounds like a fart when it's on tables, and I hate being startled by something pulsing in my pockets! I'm keeping my X-Files theme song, thanks. At least that's not annoying, to me anyway.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
other than the old school reference this list is perfect...i hate those f'ing fidel castro hoots...possibly the most ridiculous things ever
May 14th, 2008 at 01:02 pm
i forgot to mention taking a full photoshoot of yourself by simply extending your arm and making awful faces to post on facebook/myspace
May 14th, 2008 at 02:24 pm
hey lolface, get a fucking grip. this is the internet. people can do whatever they want. it's just for entertainment. i hope you choke on the next dick you suck.
May 14th, 2008 at 02:31 pm
I fail to see the irony in the belt buckle. The stupidity...yes, but no irony there. Nice list otherwise.
May 14th, 2008 at 02:34 pm
You forgot to add bloggers who can't find real stories so they make top ten lists.
May 14th, 2008 at 02:39 pm
What the hell is wrong with everyone trashing the author. Whether or not you agree with his taste the list was friggin funny. For everyone who got even the slightest bit offended you need to do a nut-check and realize this blog for what it is. Half of you are upset because you don't have enough self esteem to laugh and say "HA HA its true. Even though I freaking rock on Guitar Hero, and go to weekly competitions this guy still makes it funny."
May 14th, 2008 at 02:39 pm
You forgot to add bloggers who can't find real stories so they make top ten lists.
May 14th, 2008 at 02:41 pm
Right... umm did whoever wrothe this longboard article happen to notice how fast this guy downhilling is actually going? street surfing downhill is more hardcore than you idiots realize. fall off at 40mph and see how that feels.
May 14th, 2008 at 02:46 pm
Please for the advancement of society (which I am loosely assuming you are attempting to do with your cute litte list) learn how to use the word "ironic" appropriately.
May 14th, 2008 at 02:48 pm
blowing off steam on the internet instead of going outside and marching to DC to PROTEST! we have millions of things to protest, we need to have ONE MEGA PROTEST
May 14th, 2008 at 03:03 pm
You forgot:
Making lists of shit thats not cool.
Why you think you're cool:
It makes you sound like an authority on things that are not cool, so surely you must know about things that are cool!
Why you're not cool:
The second anyone gives you're "uncool list" much thought, it becomes apparent how much of a douche-bag you are. You confuse "whose" with "who's", steal ideas from other sites (Maddox beat you with the Fidel Castro hat thing only about by a whole 6 months), and it's obvious you have never actually tried longboarding (while going down a hill, speeds can approach 30mph). Furthermore, you probably suck at guitar hero and are just jealous. Try to remember it's just a game, and no-one actually believes they ARE Slash.
May 19th, 2008 at 04:52 am
Actually, downhill long-boarding, and long-boarding with footwork requires a lot of skill. It helps to try something out before you judge it.
May 19th, 2008 at 09:22 am
longboards go way faster than regular skateboards. its smoother and you don't have to push as much. try going down a hill first
May 19th, 2008 at 11:06 am
hahaha oh my. A personal favourite of mine is when people try to disquise their hurt feelings with big angry comments that always 'cleverly' use paranthesis for witty retorts (Like it makes you cooler if you say something sarcastic in the middle of a sentence) and then proceed to call you illiterate.
seriously guys, who cares about longboards, put things into perspective, guitar hero is a GAME, no need to get so upset. And really, I don't think anyone cares that your mate can go 100km/hr on his awesome longboard, shouldn't he be contributing a bit more to society?
useless skills aren't skills worth having or respecting.
May 19th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
spkn' n' abbrev's is fr douches
May 19th, 2008 at 02:55 pm
most of you haters are like "omg lyke everyone has their own opinions so stfu!!!1111one." HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT? this list IS an opinion, so swallow your own words. damn.
btw, some of you should actually read these comments before commenting yourself. there are about 20 comments saying "you forgot to add bloggers who write entries about what they think is cool". jesus people repetition is NOT COOL. how about we add "people who COMMENT on blogger's journals bitching about how omg wrong they are because they obviously have no sense of humor and can't understand it's the internet."
awesome list - definitely gave me a laugh.
May 19th, 2008 at 02:59 pm
okay problem here. I got a PT Cruiser because there's plenty of room to carry my long boards in it. Chicks really seem to dig the cruiser epically if I'm wearing my Castro hat! don't seem to understand the hostility twords the cruiser. I wouldn't give it up for "a million dollars"
May 19th, 2008 at 04:15 pm
you people are awfully angry about this... I guess cause you do one of the above noted things?? and feel like you have to defend it? why do you care so much... chill the hell out! who cares if this guy doesn't like PT cruisers, if you do and you have one good for you... everyone has an opinion, just cause someone doesn't agree with yours doesn't mean you should attack them.. calm down and go play some guitar hero or something...
May 19th, 2008 at 04:42 pm
It's all in how you look at it. I play guitar hero with some friends every now and then, but I certainly don't consider it cool. So I wasn't offended by this article. I think it's hilarious! Keep em coming!
It's really too bad Apple has become a cool icon now. I use Apple hardware and software as a graphic designer/video editor everyday, and I support their products 100%. However, they're giving into the fad now. I think #10 should have been a Macbook Air though. The iPhone integrates well into the other Apple products making it a vital tool, but the Macbook Air....it makes me sad. What a fucking waste.
May 19th, 2008 at 04:45 pm
very funny, but have to disagree with you about guitar hero. Cops don't go around dissing people for hating GTA just because they can shoot people in real life. Likewise pro football players don't hate the "posers" that play Madden.
May 19th, 2008 at 04:48 pm
sorry that was supposed to say playing GTA
May 19th, 2008 at 06:03 pm
When was the last time someone ollied a side walk to sidewalk street gap and then bombed a hill after on a longboard? uhhh never! long boards are built for fags who cant do anything on a real skateboard. You can easily go like 35 + on a regular board with some good ol 54mms if you are a REAL skateboarder and not some fucking hippie or middle aged gay dude trying to impress your limp wristed friends. Go pick up an issue of thrasher and find out what real skateboarding is. LONGBOARDERS DON"T KNOW SHIT!
August 4th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
I'm SUPER gay for you right now..
May 19th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
11. Writing an online page about what people think is cool but isn't
Why you think you're cool: You must be cool if you are the chosen god send decider of what is cool and what is not.
Why you're not cool: You are a nerd that wrote a website about things that are not cool.... enough said?
May 19th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
@lolface: you're the man! :D
LONGBOARDERS ARE FRENCH FAGGOTS! xD
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