Being cool is normally subjective. But there are some things that unequivocally make you uncool. We're not saying we're cool, we're just saying if you own any of these items, you're not.
10. iPhone
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: You can access e-mails, high speed internet, and watch videos, all on your phone. Because really, normal people around you are so f*&king boring you can hardly bear actually interacting with them.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: I’ve done some research and iPhone is actually a Japanese word that means “something that’s not able to be put in a pocket and instead must be carried in your hand at all times or set on the table in front of you so that any one around you can see it.” This may sound shocking, but when someone remarks how hot it is, they’re not asking you to look up the temperature in both farenheit and celcius, or show them a clip on a 3 inch screen from "An Inconvenient Truth" in an effort to relate this heat to global warming.
9.Ironic Belt Buckles
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Now you can show up in bars and point at your belt buckle and tell people that you are a "Rodeo Champion" or a "Pac Man" or a "Truck Driver" or a "Jack Daniels." And while they will know that you are actually none of these things, you think you're being playful and a little bit mysterious. You also think this tactic will help you pick up women.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You're the same person who has ironic facial hair (mustache), drinks ironic beer (PBR) and wears ironic T-shirts (Lucky Charms). You spend your entire life trying to look as shitty and poor as possible while, chances are, you have rich parents or a job for an accounting firm that pays you over $60,000. In four years you will be a Republican living in the suburbs and complaining about your 401k over wine spritzers at dinner parties.
8. Blue Tooth Headset
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: All the other losers have to use their hands when they talk on the phone. Not you! You can talk on your phone and at the same time safely give some loser the finger because they’re only driving the speed limit. It’s Tuesday, doesn’t this asshole know you have your jujitsu class at 24 hour fitness to go to?
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: I don’t give a shit if you’re talking to someone on the other end, when you’re in a Subway Sandwiches and they’re trying to take your order while you say “Listen, you give me that paperwork for the Johnson account by tomorrow or it’s your ass. No mayo. I said no Mayo! Yeah, that’s right, Johnson account on my desk! No pepperoncinis!” it’s pretty god damn confusing and asshole-ish to everyone trying to deal with you. Answer your phone when you have time to hold it in your hand. The only people that should be wearing blue tooth wireless headsets are military field generals and the people that work the day after thanksgiving sale at Old Navy.
7. Quoting Austin Powers/Borat/Old School
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Put on your earmuffs because that woman has a vageen that hangs like sleeve of wizard. Yeah, baby! Those movies are HILARIOUS, thus if you can quote them, by default you're hilarious too!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: We all enjoy quoting our favorite movies, but let's put these three to bed. Not only did I have every last bit of dialogue to the Borat movie screamed in my face three months before it came out, but let's face it, Austin Powers wasn't funny 10 years ago. And I still have to hear people telling me that "circus folk smell vaguely of cabbage." On top of it, everyone murders the accents. Whenever I hear some asshole in a bar trying doing his version of Borat, somehow he sounds like a tongueless Canadian with a sock in his mouth. This has to stop or I am going to skip the earmuffs and go directly to cutting my ears off.
6. PT Cruiser
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: It’s like a car from back in the thirties! It’s sleek design and throw back look allows everyone tailgating in the parking lot at the Dave Matthews concert know that you’re a free spirit who is all about having good times!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: If you’ve ever wondered what a gay transformer would turn in to, wonder no more. Not only do they call a retarded amount of attention to themselves on the road, when you drive them you look like a soccer mom whose transporting alcohol during the prohibition era.
5. Tricked Out Bicycles
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: I honestly have no idea.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Instead of looking like some hipper, younger version of a real biker (who actually is cool), you just look like some 8th-grader who blew his allowance on sparklers for his tricycle. With its weirdly-bent handlebars and wacky forks, your "cruiser" looks like the elephant man of bikes. Plus, these things are clearly uncomfortable to ride. I love watching some tattooed douchebag try to look laid back and cool after he had to dislocate both of his shoulders just to reach the handlebars. Not to mention, you could've gotten a friggin' car for what you paid for this piece of crap. Dumbass.
4. Fidel Castro Hats
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Wearing a Fidel Castro hat let’s the world know that you’re different and that you have thoughts and ideas that make you significantly more special and free thinking than those who wear traditional baseball hats.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You know why the Communist Cuba Military can get away with wearing them? Because they carry automatic weapons. You most likely carry a compilation book of Charles Bukowski poems. The tiny bill and camoflauged coloring make you look like a retarded son of a army ranger who had a pair of scissors and access to his father’s closet. I realize you want to tell the world you’re a non-comformist, but unfortunately being a non-conformist means you’re conforming to non-conformism. You might want to ponder that at that next record release party for a band no one’s heard of that you’re pretending to like.
3. Guitar Hero
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Dude, this game totally rocks! I love this song! Hell yes! Welcome to the Jungle, baby! You're gonna diiiiiiiiiiiee!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Despite what the commercial says, you do not suddenly turn into Slash when you're playing this video game. You are playing a child-sized guitar that doesn't even have strings. It has multi-colored buttons and an on/off button. And playing this video game does not mean you can play the guitar now. If I have to hear someone say "I can totally play 'Anarchy in the UK'" but actually mean "I can totally play 'Anarchy in the UK' on Guitar Hero," I am going to take a pee inside the nearest PS3.
2. Longboard Skateboards
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: You’re just a laid back dude who likes to cruise the streets and board walks but still has the credibility shared by those who ride smaller, more dangerous boards.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You’re basically one step away from being the little kid at Costco who jumps on the big grocery cart when his mother isn’t looking. Whereas if a normal skateboarder falls he injures himself, you’re traveling at speeds that allow those walking to pass you, and if you fall, you’ll most likely fall on the board and continue traveling. Hence, you’re basically riding a skateboard designed for those without any coordination or athletic ability. It’d be like playing baseball, except replacing the ball with a giant stuffed animal.
1. Funny Ringtones
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: A ring tone is a great way to give strangers and coworkers a little peek into your personal life and let them know that your grasp of pop culture is vast. You're pretty sure that having a silly quote from Monty Python or the Transformers theme song as your ringtone will make those around you realize that you are a the guy everyone else wants to be. There is definitely more to you than meets the eye.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Having your phone play Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" just makes you look (and sound) like an asshole. And the fact that you let it "ring" 15 times while you stand there and look around for reactions to your hilarious little joke not only reeks of desperation, but it makes everyone around you want to cram that phone up your taint. Put it on vibrate like every other normal person and keep your witticisms between you and your collection of Star Wars figurines.
1) the guys that try too be cool by dressing different than normal people like darkies and punks and hippies but they are just the same as everyone (different than normal people)
2) the guys that wear clothes with the brand written so that everyone sees it to be cool, but they are really saying im just a really stupid guy that wants to impress everyone with my clothes where the really cool guy is the one that says
hey how much did your armani grey sweater cost
OH IT WAS LIKE 200 BUCKS IM NOT SURE, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DO THIS SWEATERS COSTS
well i didnt really know but i got one exactly the same without the armani thingy at 20 bucks
Not cool: pants hanging below you ass. You think that you look slick, but really you look like you were taking a dump right when the phone started to ring in the other room. Pull up your pants and put a belt on, but make sure that you wipe first.
Yeah, I'd have to say you are dead wrong on the long boards.
It's quite evident you have never tried to ride one, and you really should before you spout off about it. Longboard is not the easy button of skateboarding.
This Blog, in it's entirety, is a piece of shit. The layout is disgusting, the cliche use of a random name, making your banner have "lawl super 1337 cool popup shadow FX LAWLZ". And on top if it all, you write an entry on a done-to-death topic.
As many have said, this is a ridiculous list. Guitar Hero is for having fun, not bragging about one's ability to play guitar. Long Boarding is about sitting back and enjoying the smooth ride versus having to micro-manage your alignment so you don't crash into the nearest pedestrian/post/oncoming car. Having ringtones isn't as annoying as you claim. Most people do not keep their phone on vibrate as you claim "every other normal person" does. I personally have 12 of the ringtones on my phone set to different people, and they are all ringtones of the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time songs.
I would also like to point at that you are a total fucking douche-wad. Honestly, I am surprised that you managed to make it this far in life. Unfortunately, the way the world works, the more of an elitist "I'm better than you, prick" attitude one has, the further they get in life. I guess calling you an arrogant asshat, however, would be an understatement.
I have seen better arguments on /b/. But I bet people who read /b/ are uncool, as well, huh?
I love all the people defending longboarding. The words they choose to describe why its not stupid totally reinforce what the initial suggestion implies
Longboarding depends where you are. Living in Colorado, longboarding is the way to go. there were skateparks and such, but I have seen longboarders cruising down the road in front of my condo at 40+ mph. With larger wheels it is even possible to take them on some offroad downhill trails. Maybe the flatlanders don't see it, but in a mountainous area, cruising a hill on a longboard is hella fun. You just can't do it as well on other boards. Street and park skating is fun, but for speed and cornering longboards are great.
I just don't give a fuck. I think if more people DIDN'T care, the world would be a better place. So many people take offense to this shit...I say, who cares? Stop trying to defend yourselves, you are who you are, you like what you like, you wear what you wear, period. As long as you are happy, fuck everyone else.
Regarding #5, that's a photo from Atomic Zombie. They sell the plans, and that's it. You build it yourself, and the total cost is less than $100. DIY bike == cool, case closed.
I have to disagree with number 2. As there are many douchebags who just "cruise" there are just as many of us that bomb steep ass hills and if we fall were losing some skin or breaking something.
People (the general public) who read and respond to blogs, myself included, are shit.
I'm not sure what's happening here? This blog at best is light entertainment, at worst a little bit mediocre. It's an opinion piece meant to fill a few minutes of people's time. Why have all the responses been so psychotic and disproportionate to the initial insult? Fervently defending video games and skateboards... lighten up.
I particularly like ANON's vitriolic response. Especially where s/he writes:
"I personally have 12 of the ringtones on my phone set to different people, and they are all ringtones of the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time songs."
I think this might be a case of the pot calling the kettle a "douch-wad"!
ANON dude you're a joke. Your completely irrelevant and immature cheap shots at the site show just how much of a loser you are. I personally have an iPhone but instead of whining to a bunch of people who couldn't care less I suck it up and chuckle which was the INTENTION not for you to piss blood over a blog post. Seriously dude grow a pair.
i agree with most of these, but he needs to add: '11. Writing Snarky Blogs About Stuff That Bothers Me And Makes My Life So Difficult.' It's kind of funny that he's threatening to pee inside someone's PS3. I think he should try that and find out how electricity and urine react when you're standing on the ground.
^ You know, I only read a 20th of the no-doubt-stumbleupon-bloated comments section before scrolling down here, but that's gotta be at least the 6th time someone suggested that same 11th item.
No doubt I skipped the other 60 rebuttals exactly the same as mine.
Right, to the person posting below me: (I know you can read this while typing your name and email, asshole. Don't ignore me)
Chances are, whatever you were going to say has already been said several times, and then made fun of by some misogynistic dickhole.
"lol, i'm totally number #. ur totally right about #, though. they suck and should all die hahaha. ur totally right when you said !"
"haha, everyone guilty of that number is a nerd"
"at least im not a "
"Get a life, all of you. I can't believe you're wasting your time on petty internet arguments. Seriously, what's wrong with all of you people. It's people like you that really show the downside to internet anonymity. You all suck.
Oh dear, I appear to have strayed off the subject of pointing out the above poster's mistake and managed to bury myself under layers of hypocrisy and useless rebellion from internet messageboards. I wasted 15 minutes of my life that could have been spent sleeping on something that no one will ever read or appreciate. I am the epitome of all that I am trying to passive-agressively bash. I am anonymous.
Why do people see that this is a list of things that are going to be judged, read it anyway, and them complain about how stupid it is to write a list like this? Just don't fucking read it! It's not hard! Read the title and say 'This isn't something I would like' and travel away from it. And if you really hated it, why are you taking the time to write about everything you saw that was wrong with it. You do realise the people who make this are laughing their asses off at you? But, if you want to be a collassel douche for life, then by all means continue trying to better the world by leaving angry comments on funny blogs.
NY Yankee hats outside of New York!!!! Hey, assholes! Whether you're from NY, or like to pretend you're from NY, here's a news flash for you: We're not impressed!
I love the rock game. Me and my biddies have a great time on it. I dont see anything wrong that game...The colorful buttons are there so you wont get lost. The brightness neon i understand....
I don't do or have most of that sh*t, I think the Castro hats urk me the most..
Communist Dictators suck b#lls. Since when has being a ruthless murderous evil man been a symbol of non-conformity... Hate on old GW but hell I guess Stalin is a patron Saint of MASS MURDER, not to mention MAO and well yeah Castro is a groovy cat.... its funny how people hate our style of politics yet the WORLD runs and swims, flies and walks to be here...
opps this was supposed to light-hearted.... I guess I better quote some more Anchorman to make myself feel better.
samantha rocks. and to all the defenders of long boards and guitar hero - no one cares how fast you can go or how dangerous riding a long board is or how much fun it is to play GH or how hard it is to play some of the songs.
all you people bashing his blog or top ten list need to eat a bowl of dicks. It's not the authors job to prove his/her opinion to you and you all sound like a bunch of butt hurt 10 year olds "waaaaaaa he made fun of my guitar hero!" Grow up and enjoy the list as something to either laugh at or not laugh at. I can't believe how full of fail and aids most of the people who have posted are.
Why you think you're cool: You've got a SHINY new computer that looks great, and can do all these cool things, even though a PC is cheaper and can do everything your new Mac can do! But it looks nice, right? And it's easy to use!
Why you're not cool: You bought a computer because it looked nice and was easy to use. You probably got a Mac because you're too stupid to run a REAL operating system. You wasted tons of money, because you could have just gotten a PC, which is cheaper, and can do everything a Mac can do, and more. Can you run games on a Mac? Nope. Does owning a Mac make you a complete douchebag? Yep.
replies to this are hilarious reads.
dont be so offended people, its just opinion...we all have them.
If YOU want to go around quoting austin powers...somewhere, someone will think youre cool.
Most of this list is bullshit and unjustified, I think it's retarded just like the person who wrote it. Everyone who commented you guys are fucking hilarious, trying to explain to shit to idiots, calling people shit-bricks, its all fucking stupid and funny. Those posts are the only reason all this is funny. Bottom line is long boards kick ass, iPhone is the most sophisticated piece of technology on earth and chances are it is the apex of civilization as we know it, I'm a hypocrite, as most importantly, all yall bitches is so stupid its fucking hilarious (except longboard and iphone defenders, by far coolest people ever, they ice cold). FUCKING douchebags
hey, maybe you should do some fucking research before you start flying dicks out your ass. yeah, there are some kids that do that, but you dont know what your talking about, longboarding is more than that. if you're telling me this video doesnt envolve coordination or athletic ability you're on some good crack and have a huge stick up your ass.
what's wrong with looking like a gay transformer? pt cruisers are ok on the inside. don't be mad at the pt if you can't afford one, just buy something cheaper.
your a tool. clearly you havent ridden a longboard, or have seen someone ride one as they are a shitload faster than regular skateboards and you certainly dont land on the board and continue travelling when you stack.
douche bag.
I pretty much agree with everything except for the longboard, and Guitar Hero. I don't skateboard, but even I know that longboards are faster. And Guitar Hero? Why rip on it? Every Guitar Hero-hater I've encountered just sucks at it.
Now think that you could have been learning how to ride a longboard or playing guitar hero instead of being a little bitch with a keyboard.
I shattered my left arm and broke my right one on 2 places on a longboard a couple months ago, I never injured myself on a short board, so get fucked, you don't know anything about one being more dangerous. I get the 4 metal bars that are going through my arm out tomorrow, and I would like to punch you in the mouth. Right after I play some guitar hero.
Lmao? A longboard is a lot more dangerous than a skateboard, traveling 60 mph taking a hairpin takes skill and you can get really hurt, also if your wheels drift too much you can hit a guardrail.
People who use "whack"
White people who say "Peace out"
White suburban teens who flash gang signs
American tourists who speak in "Broadcast Voice" no matter where they are
Idiots who bother bands on their pause and wanna talk about the band they're starting
Sounds like a lot of people read blogs just so they can flame the author.
Are you the kind of people that watch late night TV just in case they show a nipple and you can write a "scathing" letter to the tv station?
If you don't like reading blogs that people have written in a light-hearted manner just to entertain, then don't read them! But don't bore us with post after post all saying the same damn thing.
This article is not only funny, but it's pretty accurate.
Basically, if you're trying to be cool ... you're not cool!
And that does include people that flash about their iPhones, ride around on huge penis-extension-long-boards (A skateboard? Really? ARE YOU 12?) and a hell of a lot more jokers that walk the streets every day begging for approval from strangers.
(689 Comments)
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June 9th, 2008 at 02:17 am
1) the guys that try too be cool by dressing different than normal people like darkies and punks and hippies but they are just the same as everyone (different than normal people)
2) the guys that wear clothes with the brand written so that everyone sees it to be cool, but they are really saying im just a really stupid guy that wants to impress everyone with my clothes where the really cool guy is the one that says
hey how much did your armani grey sweater cost
OH IT WAS LIKE 200 BUCKS IM NOT SURE, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DO THIS SWEATERS COSTS
well i didnt really know but i got one exactly the same without the armani thingy at 20 bucks
June 9th, 2008 at 07:23 pm
Not cool: pants hanging below you ass. You think that you look slick, but really you look like you were taking a dump right when the phone started to ring in the other room. Pull up your pants and put a belt on, but make sure that you wipe first.
June 12th, 2008 at 06:08 pm
Yeah, I'd have to say you are dead wrong on the long boards.
It's quite evident you have never tried to ride one, and you really should before you spout off about it. Longboard is not the easy button of skateboarding.
June 13th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Oh yeah the PT Cruiser totally sucks ass.
June 14th, 2008 at 12:56 am
You totally should have included hookah. so not cool.
June 14th, 2008 at 12:57 am
I promised not to reply to this crap but i feel uncool not doing it, so here it is!
June 14th, 2008 at 09:40 am
This Blog, in it's entirety, is a piece of shit. The layout is disgusting, the cliche use of a random name, making your banner have "lawl super 1337 cool popup shadow FX LAWLZ". And on top if it all, you write an entry on a done-to-death topic.
As many have said, this is a ridiculous list. Guitar Hero is for having fun, not bragging about one's ability to play guitar. Long Boarding is about sitting back and enjoying the smooth ride versus having to micro-manage your alignment so you don't crash into the nearest pedestrian/post/oncoming car. Having ringtones isn't as annoying as you claim. Most people do not keep their phone on vibrate as you claim "every other normal person" does. I personally have 12 of the ringtones on my phone set to different people, and they are all ringtones of the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time songs.
I would also like to point at that you are a total fucking douche-wad. Honestly, I am surprised that you managed to make it this far in life. Unfortunately, the way the world works, the more of an elitist "I'm better than you, prick" attitude one has, the further they get in life. I guess calling you an arrogant asshat, however, would be an understatement.
I have seen better arguments on /b/. But I bet people who read /b/ are uncool, as well, huh?
June 14th, 2008 at 05:05 pm
I love all the people defending longboarding. The words they choose to describe why its not stupid totally reinforce what the initial suggestion implies
June 17th, 2008 at 03:38 pm
Hate the funny ringtones
www.dimpmexico.com
June 18th, 2008 at 02:13 am
Longboarding depends where you are. Living in Colorado, longboarding is the way to go. there were skateparks and such, but I have seen longboarders cruising down the road in front of my condo at 40+ mph. With larger wheels it is even possible to take them on some offroad downhill trails. Maybe the flatlanders don't see it, but in a mountainous area, cruising a hill on a longboard is hella fun. You just can't do it as well on other boards. Street and park skating is fun, but for speed and cornering longboards are great.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:26 am
I just don't give a fuck. I think if more people DIDN'T care, the world would be a better place. So many people take offense to this shit...I say, who cares? Stop trying to defend yourselves, you are who you are, you like what you like, you wear what you wear, period. As long as you are happy, fuck everyone else.
June 22nd, 2008 at 09:12 pm
photoshopped
June 22nd, 2008 at 09:13 pm
bob-wwow@hotmail.com
June 29th, 2008 at 01:55 am
Dude, this is ridiculous. This whole page makes me hate the internet.
June 29th, 2008 at 08:21 pm
Regarding #5, that's a photo from Atomic Zombie. They sell the plans, and that's it. You build it yourself, and the total cost is less than $100. DIY bike == cool, case closed.
June 29th, 2008 at 09:05 pm
ANOTHER.......LONG 4X WHITE T SHIRTS OR ANY SHIRT FOR THAT MATTER
June 29th, 2008 at 09:41 pm
I have to disagree with number 2. As there are many douchebags who just "cruise" there are just as many of us that bomb steep ass hills and if we fall were losing some skin or breaking something.
June 30th, 2008 at 02:30 pm
People (the general public) who read and respond to blogs, myself included, are shit.
I'm not sure what's happening here? This blog at best is light entertainment, at worst a little bit mediocre. It's an opinion piece meant to fill a few minutes of people's time. Why have all the responses been so psychotic and disproportionate to the initial insult? Fervently defending video games and skateboards... lighten up.
I particularly like ANON's vitriolic response. Especially where s/he writes:
"I personally have 12 of the ringtones on my phone set to different people, and they are all ringtones of the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time songs."
I think this might be a case of the pot calling the kettle a "douch-wad"!
July 1st, 2008 at 01:45 am
ANON dude you're a joke. Your completely irrelevant and immature cheap shots at the site show just how much of a loser you are. I personally have an iPhone but instead of whining to a bunch of people who couldn't care less I suck it up and chuckle which was the INTENTION not for you to piss blood over a blog post. Seriously dude grow a pair.
July 1st, 2008 at 03:48 am
i agree with most of these, but he needs to add: '11. Writing Snarky Blogs About Stuff That Bothers Me And Makes My Life So Difficult.' It's kind of funny that he's threatening to pee inside someone's PS3. I think he should try that and find out how electricity and urine react when you're standing on the ground.
July 2nd, 2008 at 02:49 am
^ You know, I only read a 20th of the no-doubt-stumbleupon-bloated comments section before scrolling down here, but that's gotta be at least the 6th time someone suggested that same 11th item.
No doubt I skipped the other 60 rebuttals exactly the same as mine.
Right, to the person posting below me: (I know you can read this while typing your name and email, asshole. Don't ignore me)
Chances are, whatever you were going to say has already been said several times, and then made fun of by some misogynistic dickhole.
"lol, i'm totally number #. ur totally right about #, though. they suck and should all die hahaha. ur totally right when you said !"
"haha, everyone guilty of that number is a nerd"
"at least im not a "
"Get a life, all of you. I can't believe you're wasting your time on petty internet arguments. Seriously, what's wrong with all of you people. It's people like you that really show the downside to internet anonymity. You all suck.
Oh dear, I appear to have strayed off the subject of pointing out the above poster's mistake and managed to bury myself under layers of hypocrisy and useless rebellion from internet messageboards. I wasted 15 minutes of my life that could have been spent sleeping on something that no one will ever read or appreciate. I am the epitome of all that I am trying to passive-agressively bash. I am anonymous.
July 2nd, 2008 at 06:21 pm
I was thinking that crocs and those hideous elephant pants from Hot Topic should be on here. :( So sad.
But the above was very true as well.
July 5th, 2008 at 04:06 pm
Why do people see that this is a list of things that are going to be judged, read it anyway, and them complain about how stupid it is to write a list like this? Just don't fucking read it! It's not hard! Read the title and say 'This isn't something I would like' and travel away from it. And if you really hated it, why are you taking the time to write about everything you saw that was wrong with it. You do realise the people who make this are laughing their asses off at you? But, if you want to be a collassel douche for life, then by all means continue trying to better the world by leaving angry comments on funny blogs.
P.S.- AWESOME LIST!!!
July 6th, 2008 at 01:32 am
NY Yankee hats outside of New York!!!! Hey, assholes! Whether you're from NY, or like to pretend you're from NY, here's a news flash for you: We're not impressed!
July 6th, 2008 at 05:45 pm
I love the rock game. Me and my biddies have a great time on it. I dont see anything wrong that game...The colorful buttons are there so you wont get lost. The brightness neon i understand....
July 6th, 2008 at 08:03 pm
I don't do or have most of that sh*t, I think the Castro hats urk me the most..
Communist Dictators suck b#lls. Since when has being a ruthless murderous evil man been a symbol of non-conformity... Hate on old GW but hell I guess Stalin is a patron Saint of MASS MURDER, not to mention MAO and well yeah Castro is a groovy cat.... its funny how people hate our style of politics yet the WORLD runs and swims, flies and walks to be here...
opps this was supposed to light-hearted.... I guess I better quote some more Anchorman to make myself feel better.
July 8th, 2008 at 05:40 pm
samantha rocks. and to all the defenders of long boards and guitar hero - no one cares how fast you can go or how dangerous riding a long board is or how much fun it is to play GH or how hard it is to play some of the songs.
July 9th, 2008 at 01:46 pm
Just not terribly amusing.
July 10th, 2008 at 12:34 am
all you people bashing his blog or top ten list need to eat a bowl of dicks. It's not the authors job to prove his/her opinion to you and you all sound like a bunch of butt hurt 10 year olds "waaaaaaa he made fun of my guitar hero!" Grow up and enjoy the list as something to either laugh at or not laugh at. I can't believe how full of fail and aids most of the people who have posted are.
July 10th, 2008 at 03:15 pm
GH is fun. i dont care who you are.... quit worrying about looking cool and have a good time.
July 10th, 2008 at 09:51 pm
I didn't pretend to like the band... I really do like them
July 11th, 2008 at 07:46 pm
MAC COMPUTERS:
Why you think you're cool: You've got a SHINY new computer that looks great, and can do all these cool things, even though a PC is cheaper and can do everything your new Mac can do! But it looks nice, right? And it's easy to use!
Why you're not cool: You bought a computer because it looked nice and was easy to use. You probably got a Mac because you're too stupid to run a REAL operating system. You wasted tons of money, because you could have just gotten a PC, which is cheaper, and can do everything a Mac can do, and more. Can you run games on a Mac? Nope. Does owning a Mac make you a complete douchebag? Yep.
July 13th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
haha right on.
replies to this are hilarious reads.
dont be so offended people, its just opinion...we all have them.
If YOU want to go around quoting austin powers...somewhere, someone will think youre cool.
July 14th, 2008 at 06:16 am
Most of this list is bullshit and unjustified, I think it's retarded just like the person who wrote it. Everyone who commented you guys are fucking hilarious, trying to explain to shit to idiots, calling people shit-bricks, its all fucking stupid and funny. Those posts are the only reason all this is funny. Bottom line is long boards kick ass, iPhone is the most sophisticated piece of technology on earth and chances are it is the apex of civilization as we know it, I'm a hypocrite, as most importantly, all yall bitches is so stupid its fucking hilarious (except longboard and iphone defenders, by far coolest people ever, they ice cold). FUCKING douchebags
July 15th, 2008 at 12:15 am
10 11 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don’t
11. Ironic Blog with Meaningless Name
July 15th, 2008 at 12:43 am
I cannot beleive you ass, you can't say that longboards arent cool, you're just a poser who doesn't know anything
July 15th, 2008 at 01:27 am
hey, maybe you should do some fucking research before you start flying dicks out your ass. yeah, there are some kids that do that, but you dont know what your talking about, longboarding is more than that. if you're telling me this video doesnt envolve coordination or athletic ability you're on some good crack and have a huge stick up your ass.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JMLFZcONQAs
July 15th, 2008 at 01:29 am
Yeah to the guy that says wearing a helmet on a long board makes you a queer
Lets see how you do after you fall while riding 30 mph+
This blogger or whatever clearly has never ridden a long board
July 15th, 2008 at 08:06 am
what's wrong with looking like a gay transformer? pt cruisers are ok on the inside. don't be mad at the pt if you can't afford one, just buy something cheaper.
July 15th, 2008 at 08:08 am
your a tool. clearly you havent ridden a longboard, or have seen someone ride one as they are a shitload faster than regular skateboards and you certainly dont land on the board and continue travelling when you stack.
douche bag.
July 16th, 2008 at 12:34 am
I desperately want one of those NES belt buckles now. That's freakin' fantastic!
July 16th, 2008 at 03:16 am
I pretty much agree with everything except for the longboard, and Guitar Hero. I don't skateboard, but even I know that longboards are faster. And Guitar Hero? Why rip on it? Every Guitar Hero-hater I've encountered just sucks at it.
July 16th, 2008 at 09:15 pm
How long did it take you to create this list?
Now think that you could have been learning how to ride a longboard or playing guitar hero instead of being a little bitch with a keyboard.
I shattered my left arm and broke my right one on 2 places on a longboard a couple months ago, I never injured myself on a short board, so get fucked, you don't know anything about one being more dangerous. I get the 4 metal bars that are going through my arm out tomorrow, and I would like to punch you in the mouth. Right after I play some guitar hero.
July 17th, 2008 at 01:52 am
Lmao? A longboard is a lot more dangerous than a skateboard, traveling 60 mph taking a hairpin takes skill and you can get really hurt, also if your wheels drift too much you can hit a guardrail.
July 17th, 2008 at 01:55 am
Ever rode a longboard? try bombing a hill with loose trucks asswipe
July 17th, 2008 at 07:39 am
People who use "whack"
White people who say "Peace out"
White suburban teens who flash gang signs
American tourists who speak in "Broadcast Voice" no matter where they are
Idiots who bother bands on their pause and wanna talk about the band they're starting
July 17th, 2008 at 09:43 am
Sounds like a lot of people read blogs just so they can flame the author.
Are you the kind of people that watch late night TV just in case they show a nipple and you can write a "scathing" letter to the tv station?
If you don't like reading blogs that people have written in a light-hearted manner just to entertain, then don't read them! But don't bore us with post after post all saying the same damn thing.
This article is not only funny, but it's pretty accurate.
Basically, if you're trying to be cool ... you're not cool!
And that does include people that flash about their iPhones, ride around on huge penis-extension-long-boards (A skateboard? Really? ARE YOU 12?) and a hell of a lot more jokers that walk the streets every day begging for approval from strangers.
Ahhh :)
Flaming the flamers.
How ironic.
July 17th, 2008 at 11:44 am
"circus folk smell vaguely of cabbage"?!?!?!?!
I must be one of those people that loves quoting the movie because I have NEVER heard that line. What are you quoting?
"Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands" . . . perhaps?
.......riiiiiggghttttt
July 18th, 2008 at 03:01 pm
Unicycles require a lot of coordination, skill, and concentration. When riding one in public, they also make you look like an asshole.
July 20th, 2008 at 01:34 am
youre a fag.....I even agree with some of the things you have in here but just the way you wrote about them makes you come off as a whiny fag
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