Being cool is normally subjective. But there are some things that unequivocally make you uncool. We're not saying we're cool, we're just saying if you own any of these items, you're not.
10. iPhone
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: You can access e-mails, high speed internet, and watch videos, all on your phone. Because really, normal people around you are so f*&king boring you can hardly bear actually interacting with them.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: I’ve done some research and iPhone is actually a Japanese word that means “something that’s not able to be put in a pocket and instead must be carried in your hand at all times or set on the table in front of you so that any one around you can see it.” This may sound shocking, but when someone remarks how hot it is, they’re not asking you to look up the temperature in both farenheit and celcius, or show them a clip on a 3 inch screen from "An Inconvenient Truth" in an effort to relate this heat to global warming.
9.Ironic Belt Buckles
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Now you can show up in bars and point at your belt buckle and tell people that you are a "Rodeo Champion" or a "Pac Man" or a "Truck Driver" or a "Jack Daniels." And while they will know that you are actually none of these things, you think you're being playful and a little bit mysterious. You also think this tactic will help you pick up women.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You're the same person who has ironic facial hair (mustache), drinks ironic beer (PBR) and wears ironic T-shirts (Lucky Charms). You spend your entire life trying to look as shitty and poor as possible while, chances are, you have rich parents or a job for an accounting firm that pays you over $60,000. In four years you will be a Republican living in the suburbs and complaining about your 401k over wine spritzers at dinner parties.
8. Blue Tooth Headset
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: All the other losers have to use their hands when they talk on the phone. Not you! You can talk on your phone and at the same time safely give some loser the finger because they’re only driving the speed limit. It’s Tuesday, doesn’t this asshole know you have your jujitsu class at 24 hour fitness to go to?
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: I don’t give a shit if you’re talking to someone on the other end, when you’re in a Subway Sandwiches and they’re trying to take your order while you say “Listen, you give me that paperwork for the Johnson account by tomorrow or it’s your ass. No mayo. I said no Mayo! Yeah, that’s right, Johnson account on my desk! No pepperoncinis!” it’s pretty god damn confusing and asshole-ish to everyone trying to deal with you. Answer your phone when you have time to hold it in your hand. The only people that should be wearing blue tooth wireless headsets are military field generals and the people that work the day after thanksgiving sale at Old Navy.
7. Quoting Austin Powers/Borat/Old School
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Put on your earmuffs because that woman has a vageen that hangs like sleeve of wizard. Yeah, baby! Those movies are HILARIOUS, thus if you can quote them, by default you're hilarious too!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: We all enjoy quoting our favorite movies, but let's put these three to bed. Not only did I have every last bit of dialogue to the Borat movie screamed in my face three months before it came out, but let's face it, Austin Powers wasn't funny 10 years ago. And I still have to hear people telling me that "circus folk smell vaguely of cabbage." On top of it, everyone murders the accents. Whenever I hear some asshole in a bar trying doing his version of Borat, somehow he sounds like a tongueless Canadian with a sock in his mouth. This has to stop or I am going to skip the earmuffs and go directly to cutting my ears off.
6. PT Cruiser
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: It’s like a car from back in the thirties! It’s sleek design and throw back look allows everyone tailgating in the parking lot at the Dave Matthews concert know that you’re a free spirit who is all about having good times!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: If you’ve ever wondered what a gay transformer would turn in to, wonder no more. Not only do they call a retarded amount of attention to themselves on the road, when you drive them you look like a soccer mom whose transporting alcohol during the prohibition era.
5. Tricked Out Bicycles
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: I honestly have no idea.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Instead of looking like some hipper, younger version of a real biker (who actually is cool), you just look like some 8th-grader who blew his allowance on sparklers for his tricycle. With its weirdly-bent handlebars and wacky forks, your "cruiser" looks like the elephant man of bikes. Plus, these things are clearly uncomfortable to ride. I love watching some tattooed douchebag try to look laid back and cool after he had to dislocate both of his shoulders just to reach the handlebars. Not to mention, you could've gotten a friggin' car for what you paid for this piece of crap. Dumbass.
4. Fidel Castro Hats
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Wearing a Fidel Castro hat let’s the world know that you’re different and that you have thoughts and ideas that make you significantly more special and free thinking than those who wear traditional baseball hats.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You know why the Communist Cuba Military can get away with wearing them? Because they carry automatic weapons. You most likely carry a compilation book of Charles Bukowski poems. The tiny bill and camoflauged coloring make you look like a retarded son of a army ranger who had a pair of scissors and access to his father’s closet. I realize you want to tell the world you’re a non-comformist, but unfortunately being a non-conformist means you’re conforming to non-conformism. You might want to ponder that at that next record release party for a band no one’s heard of that you’re pretending to like.
3. Guitar Hero
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Dude, this game totally rocks! I love this song! Hell yes! Welcome to the Jungle, baby! You're gonna diiiiiiiiiiiee!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Despite what the commercial says, you do not suddenly turn into Slash when you're playing this video game. You are playing a child-sized guitar that doesn't even have strings. It has multi-colored buttons and an on/off button. And playing this video game does not mean you can play the guitar now. If I have to hear someone say "I can totally play 'Anarchy in the UK'" but actually mean "I can totally play 'Anarchy in the UK' on Guitar Hero," I am going to take a pee inside the nearest PS3.
2. Longboard Skateboards
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: You’re just a laid back dude who likes to cruise the streets and board walks but still has the credibility shared by those who ride smaller, more dangerous boards.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You’re basically one step away from being the little kid at Costco who jumps on the big grocery cart when his mother isn’t looking. Whereas if a normal skateboarder falls he injures himself, you’re traveling at speeds that allow those walking to pass you, and if you fall, you’ll most likely fall on the board and continue traveling. Hence, you’re basically riding a skateboard designed for those without any coordination or athletic ability. It’d be like playing baseball, except replacing the ball with a giant stuffed animal.
1. Funny Ringtones
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: A ring tone is a great way to give strangers and coworkers a little peek into your personal life and let them know that your grasp of pop culture is vast. You're pretty sure that having a silly quote from Monty Python or the Transformers theme song as your ringtone will make those around you realize that you are a the guy everyone else wants to be. There is definitely more to you than meets the eye.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Having your phone play Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" just makes you look (and sound) like an asshole. And the fact that you let it "ring" 15 times while you stand there and look around for reactions to your hilarious little joke not only reeks of desperation, but it makes everyone around you want to cram that phone up your taint. Put it on vibrate like every other normal person and keep your witticisms between you and your collection of Star Wars figurines.
you forgot.....
1.excess amounts of hair gel. no, actually the use of any hair gel at all. hair gel=douche bag.
2. while you chose the PT cruiser, i believe the douche bag-mobile would be the mustang, bar none. i don't know what it is about the owners of mustangs that gives them this sense of power that makes them truly believe they are the only ones who can exceed the speed limit while having their windows rolled down playing the latest, most ghetto-esque rap CD-all while passing the soccer mom in the mini van in a no passing lane. i know, bad ass.
oh, and typically owers of mustangs where excess amounts of hair gel.
you forgot.....
1.excess amounts of hair gel. no, actually the use of any hair gel at all. hair gel=douche bag.
2. while you chose the PT cruiser, i believe the douche bag-mobile would be the mustang, bar none. i don't know what it is about the owners of mustangs that gives them this sense of power that makes them truly believe they are the only ones who can exceed the speed limit while having their windows rolled down playing the latest, most ghetto-esque rap CD-all while passing the soccer mom in the mini van in a no passing lane. i know, bad ass.
oh, and typically owers of mustangs wear excess amounts of hair gel.
I mean, he was a communist revolutionary who failed almost everywhere he went. Even Castro ended up hating him. How the hell can any middle-class capitalist student from the 'great evil' that is the USA relate to him on any level?
Fidel Castro hats (my brother calls them janet jackson hats) are generally cliche, but for me they are necessary because i have a huge head and those are the only ones that fit my massive dome.
Can no one take a joke! Obviously the people who are hating took the time to read it. Which makes you a bunch of douches because knowing good and well you will all be back!!! Losers lighten up. This was freaking hilarious and SO true! Keep on keeping on!
Thank you for this article these are the top reasons why I hate people so much. Especially guitar hero. Too bad I don't have the email addresses of the people I hate so they could realize that they aren't individuals and that they really are losers.
I feel as though your critique of the bluetooth headsets was a little over the top, and to be completely honest, un-called for.
I use my bluetooth headset constantly and find that my peers often have no problem pointing at/out the fact that I wear such a fashionable techno-accessory.
Please try to think your top tens through a bit better. I understand that you need to make jokes that everyone can relate to, but throwing away accuracy and journalistic integrity for a cheap laugh? Disappointing!
Funny article- but fuck you on the longboard critique. Fool, I was ripping banks, ollying whole fucking flights of stairs, and sliding handrails back when Reagan was president. I am pushing 40 now, everything hurts and I'm inclined to leave all the pop and sizzle to young bloods out there that still got healthy cartilege in their knees. (Godbless 'em- some of these kids now are doing shit we never imagined back in the day.) Back on point though, longboarding is something cool that us old boys can still do. And if you think it's all slow cruising, I got some downhill runs around here that are so goddamn fast that they will make your shit your frilly panties.
Finally! Guitar Hero! Just because you can push some buttons doesn't mean your playing a guitar. I actually play a guitar and get pissed when people get so obsessed and proud of themselves that they can play guitar hero. Go out and learn to play a real guitar asshole.
Who cares? If you like something, you like it, if not, good for you. Conformists are sheep, non-conformists are sheep, and that makes internet bloggers looking for attention...what, exactly?
Honestly, if you don't like the people who do these things don't hang out with them.
The thing I love most about peoples blogs are the replies that follow. It's like these people have been personally attacked by someones generalized opinion. I happen to agree with the things on the list, but that is just MY opinion! And my opinion is not the truth of the world, nor is anyone else's. I laugh when people go on about free speech, and then turn around and mock someone else who has a different opinion. It's like, you have the freedom of speech, as long as you don't challenge my beliefs and ideas, because thats not cool, and it makes you a loser! I must say, there are alot of hypocrites out there! "your list is bang on, except for the fact that you made fun of long boards! they are awesome! screw you!" or "everybody that does what is on that list are losers, except people with iphones, because i have one! and there awesome! screw you!" If you wanna ride long boards, go ahead! But I'm still gonna think you look gay doing it! Like to pride yourself on the fact that your awesome on guitar hero? Good for you! Set your goals low and you won't be disappointed! But this is MY opinion! And if you don't like it, then suck it up princess! Because there is not a goddamn thing you can do about it!
Great article. I've been saying #3 forever. it might be fun to play guitar hero, but it drives me crazy when people think that they're bad ass for it. my friend actually BOUGHT A REAL GUITAR because he thought that playing guitar hero would make him good or something! unless you're playing the first six frets a 2 1/2 foot guitar with a pedal thing on it ( SERIOUSLY, WTF) it probably actually destroys the ability to play guitar. they say it introduces you to some great rock too. yeah, that's really helpful. "What are you listening to?" "Welcome To The Jungle." "Oh, like on Guitar Hero?" "*punches face in*" RockBand is worse. Would you rather spend 200 something bucks on a fake bunch of instruments so that you can waste your life in your room, or would you spend that money on a cheap guitar to start out with, practice and actually have a chance to do something with your life? looking forward to more. keep writing!
A very funny and true list! Made me laugh out loud. I especially like gay transformer line... I might have to borrow that one! Pay no attention to the internet fighting going on here, this is a great post! Good work!
anyone notice the trend of people bitching that the writer is a douchebag because he lists what he finds uncool, while these people are doing the same only with a much shorter (read: one item) list.
Laugh it off, no one cares if you dont like the article, if you think its sucks, go to a different page.
IMO, the castro hats arent bad. its the people who try to be non conformist with them. I wear stupid s*** all the time just because I wanna have a laugh. I dont think im cool. just that I am who I am.
okay. for all of those that feel the need to comment" you forgot to add 'people who do top 10 lists' or 'you're a fag for not liking my speedy 40mph longboard' or 'hey i have an iphone and im better than thou'" - get over it. its what comedians do - take semi- or un- funny things and exaggerate to make them funny. this list was at least kinda funny, so you meanies (who obviously read these top 10 lists just to bitch) can take your longboard and your iphone and shove it up your nose.
on a side note - for those of you about to coment on how i cant spell, or type(key) or i use improper grammar, i know. get over it, you just sound like a douchebag with no better ammunition to use on me.
to the blogger - thanks for some funny truths about the world, except i kinda like those hats... not for the 'statement' they make, but because they are kinda comfy :)
ps - kudos to Dummer than mud" i agree whole-heartedly on alot of wht you had to say. It takes a great writer indeed to strike this much conversation and controversy (if you will) into the hearts (or arses) of this many people.
I'll add another one to people who make lists about what's uncool. How about "people who reply with their own personal list" ?
"people who carry around drinks they think they are so cool, but they're NOT" hahaha...Yeah what losers and their drinks!! But people who take the time to write a post about it don't just think they're cool they ARE cool. Duh,
why in the hell are you people getting angry at the author? are you so unsure of your own identity that you have to bash some dude for his opinion? if you had any sense of individuality and liked stuff for YOUR opinion of their actual functionality/aesthetic, you wouldn't feel offended or discouraged by a different opinion. this just attests how shallow and volatile your identity really is.. sheep.
hey, this list mildly entertained me, and like everyone else, I got a little pissy, I see how stupid my pissyness is, but I wish to post anyways. I think it's cool if you have no idea what a longboard's about...but I make a living off of longboarding, I'm a pro who's been champ for 4 or 5 years running now, down mountains like maryhill in goldendale washington, in the goddamm alps, down mutherfucking mount fuji, and I'v broken 110 kph, I'v also slid for 70 feet around a corner, and I have bailed so many times, it's not even funny, I'v had both bones go through both arms, and have had blood poisoning due to the amount of skin that was forcably shredded from my body. and I only have three real teeth. ontop of that, I make up to 10,000 bucks a race, and each and every one of these things on this list are special to someone, and should be treated as such... ...this is why I never go on the goddamm computer...I'm going longboarding...
dude, there's nothing wrong with PBR, actually the only thing i really agreed with you on was the pt cruiser and the bluetooth headset aside from that those other things in their own way are cool, sure you may not think they're cool but let me guess you just have the greatest fashion sense in the world and you probably drive a subaru
People who shit-blog on trivial subjects to make themselves feel better:
Why you think you're cool-
Because you are on the internet, you will have thousands of viewers no matter how fucking stupid your material is, it's the internet. So even if you are saying absolutely nothing, or have somehow convinced yourself your opinions are valid, you have a sense of accomplishment to fall back on simply because people have nothing better to do at 4am than stumble the internet.
Why you aren't cool-
Because noone agrees with your envy fueled anger for those people with awesome belt buckles and iPhones. Maybe you should get a productive hobby rather than running around paying so much attention to everyone other than yourself, then maybe something you would have to say would be relevant in any way.
tricked out bikes are supposed to be for fun, and transportation. not because you want to look "cool". i ride trick-bikes, all that i have made myself. no, i couldn't get a car for the price of one of these, let alone would i rather have a car. i welded all of my bikes myself and probably spent about 10 bucks on each of them. you are the asshole who wastes your money riding about in your goofy looking bmw.
Haha, the comments are hilarious. People get so angry!
I have a long-board, and I totally ride it because skateboards are harder to ride. Do people even quote Austin Powers or Old School anymore? Also, those bluetooth headsets make you seem schizophrenic when people don't notice that you're wearing one.
Heeeeeell no on the longboards. I'm a longboarder and I bomb hills like crazy. You can do stuff on longboards that you could NEVER do on normal skateboards. With that being said, you can do a HELL of a lot of stuff on a new-school or old school board that you could never do on a longboard. So they both have their ups and downs. But most of us longboarders use 'em to get around (much less effort in getting around), just relaxing, carving which helps out with surfing and snowboarding, or to bomb hills and get to speeds that no trick board or old school board could ever dream of getting. Especially carving boards like the "Loaded" brand, those things are the sickest
y can't we all just get along? someone writes something... and then someone else has to insult the person that was insulting the person who posted the blog.... this is madness... can't we all just have our own twisted and rediculous opinions? i think guitar hero is fun though overrated... i think the nitendo belt is retarded and lame though i play world of warcraft so its not the nerd factor ... its just lame. the hat thing.... whatever... tricked out bikes.... i'm not goin there, but pt cruisers... lol. i kinda like them. i drove my dads for a while and saved uber money on gas. now what would really make me happy... for someone to put up a post following mine that has absolutely nothing to do with my post.
Why you think you're cool: You hate things that shouldn't bother you, and in a world in which the non-mainstream is cool (and thus mainstream), it's cool to actively hate and speak out about things that really have nothing to do with you or anyone else.
Why you're not cool: You assume you know why people do or wear these things, when you really simply don't understand, and just as every other mentally constipated person out there, you hate and attack what you don't understand. Or it could be because you think that by sharing your skewed, angry views you're being funny, when really, you're just being a douche bag.
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
July 20th, 2008 at 04:48 am
you forgot.....
1.excess amounts of hair gel. no, actually the use of any hair gel at all. hair gel=douche bag.
2. while you chose the PT cruiser, i believe the douche bag-mobile would be the mustang, bar none. i don't know what it is about the owners of mustangs that gives them this sense of power that makes them truly believe they are the only ones who can exceed the speed limit while having their windows rolled down playing the latest, most ghetto-esque rap CD-all while passing the soccer mom in the mini van in a no passing lane. i know, bad ass.
oh, and typically owers of mustangs where excess amounts of hair gel.
July 20th, 2008 at 04:48 am
you forgot.....
1.excess amounts of hair gel. no, actually the use of any hair gel at all. hair gel=douche bag.
2. while you chose the PT cruiser, i believe the douche bag-mobile would be the mustang, bar none. i don't know what it is about the owners of mustangs that gives them this sense of power that makes them truly believe they are the only ones who can exceed the speed limit while having their windows rolled down playing the latest, most ghetto-esque rap CD-all while passing the soccer mom in the mini van in a no passing lane. i know, bad ass.
oh, and typically owers of mustangs wear excess amounts of hair gel.
July 23rd, 2008 at 08:41 pm
You missed out the number one:
CHE GUEVARA t-shirts
I mean, he was a communist revolutionary who failed almost everywhere he went. Even Castro ended up hating him. How the hell can any middle-class capitalist student from the 'great evil' that is the USA relate to him on any level?
But a good list nonetheless
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Fidel Castro hats (my brother calls them janet jackson hats) are generally cliche, but for me they are necessary because i have a huge head and those are the only ones that fit my massive dome.
July 29th, 2008 at 02:09 pm
Basically you're making fun of everything that's been hip but isn't novel anymore.
You have much to learn grashopper.
July 29th, 2008 at 03:34 pm
Longboarding is awesome. Almost as awesome as skateboarding. You can do moderately dangerous things on longboards like bomb hills and ride in pools.
July 29th, 2008 at 04:29 pm
Can no one take a joke! Obviously the people who are hating took the time to read it. Which makes you a bunch of douches because knowing good and well you will all be back!!! Losers lighten up. This was freaking hilarious and SO true! Keep on keeping on!
July 30th, 2008 at 03:12 am
Hey! I take offense to #2. I longboard and basically... well, your explanation of why its not cool to longboard didn't make one ounce of sense.
Also, yep. I'm a GIRL! Way to be sexist!
July 30th, 2008 at 03:15 am
i also must say that your choice of un-cool vehicle was not the worst I could think of. What about a prius? Homo homo homo homo homo.
July 31st, 2008 at 01:50 am
Thank you for this article these are the top reasons why I hate people so much. Especially guitar hero. Too bad I don't have the email addresses of the people I hate so they could realize that they aren't individuals and that they really are losers.
August 2nd, 2008 at 02:17 am
I feel as though your critique of the bluetooth headsets was a little over the top, and to be completely honest, un-called for.
I use my bluetooth headset constantly and find that my peers often have no problem pointing at/out the fact that I wear such a fashionable techno-accessory.
Please try to think your top tens through a bit better. I understand that you need to make jokes that everyone can relate to, but throwing away accuracy and journalistic integrity for a cheap laugh? Disappointing!
August 2nd, 2008 at 10:01 pm
FUCK U, LONGBOARDING IS AWESOME.
A longboard can go 10 times as fast as a skateboard and rubber wheels make a much smoother ride. And can you carve on a skateboard? no.
GET A LIFE
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:47 pm
do you know why YOU're not cool?
cause you think you know what cool is all about!
if you had even the remotest idea, this would've been a list worth reading... what a waste of time and internet space!
August 5th, 2008 at 12:31 am
The majority of the people who are getting offended here are the iPhone fanboi fags.
August 5th, 2008 at 04:41 am
yeah Crocs are for little girls 5 and under.
August 5th, 2008 at 06:21 pm
What's more annoying is a judgmental person unloading his salty load of BS all over the internet: The medium without shame!
August 6th, 2008 at 05:26 am
Do the people who are bashing this realize how stupid they're being?
No one made you read this and it was all in good fun so please yank the trees out your arses and move on.
Even I didn't agree with the list but I admit it was funny (actually made me want a Fidel hat). Y'all are way too sensitive.
August 6th, 2008 at 07:50 pm
Funny article- but fuck you on the longboard critique. Fool, I was ripping banks, ollying whole fucking flights of stairs, and sliding handrails back when Reagan was president. I am pushing 40 now, everything hurts and I'm inclined to leave all the pop and sizzle to young bloods out there that still got healthy cartilege in their knees. (Godbless 'em- some of these kids now are doing shit we never imagined back in the day.) Back on point though, longboarding is something cool that us old boys can still do. And if you think it's all slow cruising, I got some downhill runs around here that are so goddamn fast that they will make your shit your frilly panties.
August 6th, 2008 at 09:18 pm
Finally! Guitar Hero! Just because you can push some buttons doesn't mean your playing a guitar. I actually play a guitar and get pissed when people get so obsessed and proud of themselves that they can play guitar hero. Go out and learn to play a real guitar asshole.
August 7th, 2008 at 07:01 am
Who cares? If you like something, you like it, if not, good for you. Conformists are sheep, non-conformists are sheep, and that makes internet bloggers looking for attention...what, exactly?
Honestly, if you don't like the people who do these things don't hang out with them.
Although the ringtones one is totally true.
August 8th, 2008 at 09:44 pm
The thing I love most about peoples blogs are the replies that follow. It's like these people have been personally attacked by someones generalized opinion. I happen to agree with the things on the list, but that is just MY opinion! And my opinion is not the truth of the world, nor is anyone else's. I laugh when people go on about free speech, and then turn around and mock someone else who has a different opinion. It's like, you have the freedom of speech, as long as you don't challenge my beliefs and ideas, because thats not cool, and it makes you a loser! I must say, there are alot of hypocrites out there! "your list is bang on, except for the fact that you made fun of long boards! they are awesome! screw you!" or "everybody that does what is on that list are losers, except people with iphones, because i have one! and there awesome! screw you!" If you wanna ride long boards, go ahead! But I'm still gonna think you look gay doing it! Like to pride yourself on the fact that your awesome on guitar hero? Good for you! Set your goals low and you won't be disappointed! But this is MY opinion! And if you don't like it, then suck it up princess! Because there is not a goddamn thing you can do about it!
and yes, I do have a silly ringtone...
August 9th, 2008 at 02:18 am
Great article. I've been saying #3 forever. it might be fun to play guitar hero, but it drives me crazy when people think that they're bad ass for it. my friend actually BOUGHT A REAL GUITAR because he thought that playing guitar hero would make him good or something! unless you're playing the first six frets a 2 1/2 foot guitar with a pedal thing on it ( SERIOUSLY, WTF) it probably actually destroys the ability to play guitar. they say it introduces you to some great rock too. yeah, that's really helpful. "What are you listening to?" "Welcome To The Jungle." "Oh, like on Guitar Hero?" "*punches face in*" RockBand is worse. Would you rather spend 200 something bucks on a fake bunch of instruments so that you can waste your life in your room, or would you spend that money on a cheap guitar to start out with, practice and actually have a chance to do something with your life? looking forward to more. keep writing!
August 15th, 2008 at 01:48 am
A very funny and true list! Made me laugh out loud. I especially like gay transformer line... I might have to borrow that one! Pay no attention to the internet fighting going on here, this is a great post! Good work!
August 24th, 2008 at 10:10 am
I am so guilty of playing Guitar Hero, but i don't think that playing it and being good at it makes me instantly cool.
August 28th, 2008 at 04:37 am
F*** You on the hat one. My head is too big for anything else. I have a big head.
August 29th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
anyone notice the trend of people bitching that the writer is a douchebag because he lists what he finds uncool, while these people are doing the same only with a much shorter (read: one item) list.
Laugh it off, no one cares if you dont like the article, if you think its sucks, go to a different page.
IMO, the castro hats arent bad. its the people who try to be non conformist with them. I wear stupid s*** all the time just because I wanna have a laugh. I dont think im cool. just that I am who I am.
August 31st, 2008 at 01:01 pm
okay. for all of those that feel the need to comment" you forgot to add 'people who do top 10 lists' or 'you're a fag for not liking my speedy 40mph longboard' or 'hey i have an iphone and im better than thou'" - get over it. its what comedians do - take semi- or un- funny things and exaggerate to make them funny. this list was at least kinda funny, so you meanies (who obviously read these top 10 lists just to bitch) can take your longboard and your iphone and shove it up your nose.
on a side note - for those of you about to coment on how i cant spell, or type(key) or i use improper grammar, i know. get over it, you just sound like a douchebag with no better ammunition to use on me.
to the blogger - thanks for some funny truths about the world, except i kinda like those hats... not for the 'statement' they make, but because they are kinda comfy :)
August 31st, 2008 at 01:16 pm
ps - kudos to Dummer than mud" i agree whole-heartedly on alot of wht you had to say. It takes a great writer indeed to strike this much conversation and controversy (if you will) into the hearts (or arses) of this many people.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:24 am
I'll add another one to people who make lists about what's uncool. How about "people who reply with their own personal list" ?
"people who carry around drinks they think they are so cool, but they're NOT" hahaha...Yeah what losers and their drinks!! But people who take the time to write a post about it don't just think they're cool they ARE cool. Duh,
September 2nd, 2008 at 03:34 pm
I think you mean "iconic" not "ironic"
September 6th, 2008 at 02:08 am
why in the hell are you people getting angry at the author? are you so unsure of your own identity that you have to bash some dude for his opinion? if you had any sense of individuality and liked stuff for YOUR opinion of their actual functionality/aesthetic, you wouldn't feel offended or discouraged by a different opinion. this just attests how shallow and volatile your identity really is.. sheep.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:08 am
hey, this list mildly entertained me, and like everyone else, I got a little pissy, I see how stupid my pissyness is, but I wish to post anyways. I think it's cool if you have no idea what a longboard's about...but I make a living off of longboarding, I'm a pro who's been champ for 4 or 5 years running now, down mountains like maryhill in goldendale washington, in the goddamm alps, down mutherfucking mount fuji, and I'v broken 110 kph, I'v also slid for 70 feet around a corner, and I have bailed so many times, it's not even funny, I'v had both bones go through both arms, and have had blood poisoning due to the amount of skin that was forcably shredded from my body. and I only have three real teeth. ontop of that, I make up to 10,000 bucks a race, and each and every one of these things on this list are special to someone, and should be treated as such... ...this is why I never go on the goddamm computer...I'm going longboarding...
September 8th, 2008 at 05:16 am
dude, there's nothing wrong with PBR, actually the only thing i really agreed with you on was the pt cruiser and the bluetooth headset aside from that those other things in their own way are cool, sure you may not think they're cool but let me guess you just have the greatest fashion sense in the world and you probably drive a subaru
September 8th, 2008 at 06:09 pm
Hahahaha!!!!! Hilarious list, and very well written.
And guys, nobody cares whether you agree or disagree.
September 9th, 2008 at 02:08 am
you are an idiot
September 9th, 2008 at 08:38 am
People who shit-blog on trivial subjects to make themselves feel better:
Why you think you're cool-
Because you are on the internet, you will have thousands of viewers no matter how fucking stupid your material is, it's the internet. So even if you are saying absolutely nothing, or have somehow convinced yourself your opinions are valid, you have a sense of accomplishment to fall back on simply because people have nothing better to do at 4am than stumble the internet.
Why you aren't cool-
Because noone agrees with your envy fueled anger for those people with awesome belt buckles and iPhones. Maybe you should get a productive hobby rather than running around paying so much attention to everyone other than yourself, then maybe something you would have to say would be relevant in any way.
September 9th, 2008 at 01:13 pm
Did anyone else notice that in the iPhone picture the guy is talking on the iPhone upside down?
HA!
September 9th, 2008 at 02:55 pm
*sigh*
americans...
September 9th, 2008 at 07:49 pm
have you ever tried to ride a longboard down a mountain (what they were made for) passing cars? no? then dont say they arent dangerous.
September 9th, 2008 at 08:23 pm
What a stupid list.
Guitar hero > you and anyone who 'lols' at your attempt at humour.
Uncool: Blog lists, adding your own crap to stumbleupon.
September 9th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
tricked out bikes are supposed to be for fun, and transportation. not because you want to look "cool". i ride trick-bikes, all that i have made myself. no, i couldn't get a car for the price of one of these, let alone would i rather have a car. i welded all of my bikes myself and probably spent about 10 bucks on each of them. you are the asshole who wastes your money riding about in your goofy looking bmw.
September 10th, 2008 at 05:57 am
Haha, the comments are hilarious. People get so angry!
I have a long-board, and I totally ride it because skateboards are harder to ride. Do people even quote Austin Powers or Old School anymore? Also, those bluetooth headsets make you seem schizophrenic when people don't notice that you're wearing one.
September 11th, 2008 at 03:03 am
HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA
September 16th, 2008 at 06:32 am
Heeeeeell no on the longboards. I'm a longboarder and I bomb hills like crazy. You can do stuff on longboards that you could NEVER do on normal skateboards. With that being said, you can do a HELL of a lot of stuff on a new-school or old school board that you could never do on a longboard. So they both have their ups and downs. But most of us longboarders use 'em to get around (much less effort in getting around), just relaxing, carving which helps out with surfing and snowboarding, or to bomb hills and get to speeds that no trick board or old school board could ever dream of getting. Especially carving boards like the "Loaded" brand, those things are the sickest
September 16th, 2008 at 09:01 pm
I'm glad everyone seems to be taking this posting as a personal attack.
September 16th, 2008 at 09:24 pm
i like that i wasted 30 minutes of my day reading all these comments.
from my iphone.
September 18th, 2008 at 01:36 pm
y can't we all just get along? someone writes something... and then someone else has to insult the person that was insulting the person who posted the blog.... this is madness... can't we all just have our own twisted and rediculous opinions? i think guitar hero is fun though overrated... i think the nitendo belt is retarded and lame though i play world of warcraft so its not the nerd factor ... its just lame. the hat thing.... whatever... tricked out bikes.... i'm not goin there, but pt cruisers... lol. i kinda like them. i drove my dads for a while and saved uber money on gas. now what would really make me happy... for someone to put up a post following mine that has absolutely nothing to do with my post.
September 18th, 2008 at 01:39 pm
also... for sheer enjoyment see anon's post 7 posts above this one. =-)
September 21st, 2008 at 12:07 am
Why you think you're cool: You hate things that shouldn't bother you, and in a world in which the non-mainstream is cool (and thus mainstream), it's cool to actively hate and speak out about things that really have nothing to do with you or anyone else.
Why you're not cool: You assume you know why people do or wear these things, when you really simply don't understand, and just as every other mentally constipated person out there, you hate and attack what you don't understand. Or it could be because you think that by sharing your skewed, angry views you're being funny, when really, you're just being a douche bag.
Was I way off here? Yes?
Exactly.
September 21st, 2008 at 01:03 am
"Wearing a Fidel Castro hat let’s the world know that you’re different..."
Use proper punctuation, biotch!
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