Being cool is normally subjective. But there are some things that unequivocally make you uncool. We're not saying we're cool, we're just saying if you own any of these items, you're not.
10. iPhone
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: You can access e-mails, high speed internet, and watch videos, all on your phone. Because really, normal people around you are so f*&king boring you can hardly bear actually interacting with them.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: I’ve done some research and iPhone is actually a Japanese word that means “something that’s not able to be put in a pocket and instead must be carried in your hand at all times or set on the table in front of you so that any one around you can see it.” This may sound shocking, but when someone remarks how hot it is, they’re not asking you to look up the temperature in both farenheit and celcius, or show them a clip on a 3 inch screen from "An Inconvenient Truth" in an effort to relate this heat to global warming.
9.Ironic Belt Buckles
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Now you can show up in bars and point at your belt buckle and tell people that you are a "Rodeo Champion" or a "Pac Man" or a "Truck Driver" or a "Jack Daniels." And while they will know that you are actually none of these things, you think you're being playful and a little bit mysterious. You also think this tactic will help you pick up women.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You're the same person who has ironic facial hair (mustache), drinks ironic beer (PBR) and wears ironic T-shirts (Lucky Charms). You spend your entire life trying to look as shitty and poor as possible while, chances are, you have rich parents or a job for an accounting firm that pays you over $60,000. In four years you will be a Republican living in the suburbs and complaining about your 401k over wine spritzers at dinner parties.
8. Blue Tooth Headset
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: All the other losers have to use their hands when they talk on the phone. Not you! You can talk on your phone and at the same time safely give some loser the finger because they’re only driving the speed limit. It’s Tuesday, doesn’t this asshole know you have your jujitsu class at 24 hour fitness to go to?
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: I don’t give a shit if you’re talking to someone on the other end, when you’re in a Subway Sandwiches and they’re trying to take your order while you say “Listen, you give me that paperwork for the Johnson account by tomorrow or it’s your ass. No mayo. I said no Mayo! Yeah, that’s right, Johnson account on my desk! No pepperoncinis!” it’s pretty god damn confusing and asshole-ish to everyone trying to deal with you. Answer your phone when you have time to hold it in your hand. The only people that should be wearing blue tooth wireless headsets are military field generals and the people that work the day after thanksgiving sale at Old Navy.
7. Quoting Austin Powers/Borat/Old School
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Put on your earmuffs because that woman has a vageen that hangs like sleeve of wizard. Yeah, baby! Those movies are HILARIOUS, thus if you can quote them, by default you're hilarious too!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: We all enjoy quoting our favorite movies, but let's put these three to bed. Not only did I have every last bit of dialogue to the Borat movie screamed in my face three months before it came out, but let's face it, Austin Powers wasn't funny 10 years ago. And I still have to hear people telling me that "circus folk smell vaguely of cabbage." On top of it, everyone murders the accents. Whenever I hear some asshole in a bar trying doing his version of Borat, somehow he sounds like a tongueless Canadian with a sock in his mouth. This has to stop or I am going to skip the earmuffs and go directly to cutting my ears off.
6. PT Cruiser
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: It’s like a car from back in the thirties! It’s sleek design and throw back look allows everyone tailgating in the parking lot at the Dave Matthews concert know that you’re a free spirit who is all about having good times!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: If you’ve ever wondered what a gay transformer would turn in to, wonder no more. Not only do they call a retarded amount of attention to themselves on the road, when you drive them you look like a soccer mom whose transporting alcohol during the prohibition era.
5. Tricked Out Bicycles
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: I honestly have no idea.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Instead of looking like some hipper, younger version of a real biker (who actually is cool), you just look like some 8th-grader who blew his allowance on sparklers for his tricycle. With its weirdly-bent handlebars and wacky forks, your "cruiser" looks like the elephant man of bikes. Plus, these things are clearly uncomfortable to ride. I love watching some tattooed douchebag try to look laid back and cool after he had to dislocate both of his shoulders just to reach the handlebars. Not to mention, you could've gotten a friggin' car for what you paid for this piece of crap. Dumbass.
4. Fidel Castro Hats
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Wearing a Fidel Castro hat let’s the world know that you’re different and that you have thoughts and ideas that make you significantly more special and free thinking than those who wear traditional baseball hats.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You know why the Communist Cuba Military can get away with wearing them? Because they carry automatic weapons. You most likely carry a compilation book of Charles Bukowski poems. The tiny bill and camoflauged coloring make you look like a retarded son of a army ranger who had a pair of scissors and access to his father’s closet. I realize you want to tell the world you’re a non-comformist, but unfortunately being a non-conformist means you’re conforming to non-conformism. You might want to ponder that at that next record release party for a band no one’s heard of that you’re pretending to like.
3. Guitar Hero
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Dude, this game totally rocks! I love this song! Hell yes! Welcome to the Jungle, baby! You're gonna diiiiiiiiiiiee!
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Despite what the commercial says, you do not suddenly turn into Slash when you're playing this video game. You are playing a child-sized guitar that doesn't even have strings. It has multi-colored buttons and an on/off button. And playing this video game does not mean you can play the guitar now. If I have to hear someone say "I can totally play 'Anarchy in the UK'" but actually mean "I can totally play 'Anarchy in the UK' on Guitar Hero," I am going to take a pee inside the nearest PS3.
2. Longboard Skateboards
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: You’re just a laid back dude who likes to cruise the streets and board walks but still has the credibility shared by those who ride smaller, more dangerous boards.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You’re basically one step away from being the little kid at Costco who jumps on the big grocery cart when his mother isn’t looking. Whereas if a normal skateboarder falls he injures himself, you’re traveling at speeds that allow those walking to pass you, and if you fall, you’ll most likely fall on the board and continue traveling. Hence, you’re basically riding a skateboard designed for those without any coordination or athletic ability. It’d be like playing baseball, except replacing the ball with a giant stuffed animal.
1. Funny Ringtones
WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: A ring tone is a great way to give strangers and coworkers a little peek into your personal life and let them know that your grasp of pop culture is vast. You're pretty sure that having a silly quote from Monty Python or the Transformers theme song as your ringtone will make those around you realize that you are a the guy everyone else wants to be. There is definitely more to you than meets the eye.
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: Having your phone play Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" just makes you look (and sound) like an asshole. And the fact that you let it "ring" 15 times while you stand there and look around for reactions to your hilarious little joke not only reeks of desperation, but it makes everyone around you want to cram that phone up your taint. Put it on vibrate like every other normal person and keep your witticisms between you and your collection of Star Wars figurines.
a good alternitave to a longboard is a fatty liquor store cruiser with some fatty 65mms that you can ollie up curbs with and still go much faster than a sandal wearing hippie listening to phish soul cruising down the sidewalk on their wank plank. i have never ever in the 12 years of skate ratizm witnessed anyone on a longboard bombing a hill or for that matter doing anything the slightest bit gnarley. Ya cant powerslide on a longboard so how the fuck are you going to bomb a hill like a man??? " i used to skate is a famous longboard quote"... unless your over 50 or you have a period once a month, stay the fuck off a longboard!!!! marks!!!!
Second best part was reading the comments from people who actually felt slighted by your list! It seems that iPhones, longboards, and guitar hero are very touchy subjects -- or do the comments reflect something about their users?
what a ghey list - what a ghey site. what a stupid list by closet pedophiles. to the idiot who thinks crocs are bad footwear, to dissing the iphone, to dissing long boards - fuck yourself. and no, i don't think i am cool.
All these haters agreed or listed what they hated but gave no alternative or had the balls to say what they thought was cool... Except for the skater who types like he is texting on his mobile (With his Bam Margera background)... All you losers can whisper in each others ear while you circle jerk about how less cool other people are without putting your neck out there. You should all stop butt patting and kissing up to some asinine blogger whose name isn't onthe article
People who constantly have to judge others in order to feel like they fit in are not cool. You, sir, are not cool. I bet you actually are jealous of these people in real life.
Who cares whats cool or not, let people do what they want. I saw a comment telling loler to chill out, and that on the internet you can do whatever you want, well, let people in real life do whatever they want. Let them wear their fidel castro hats, and funny belts. Let it be.
I can't believe you put the iPhone on there! Arghh, to you. But I agree with everything else, so you still rule. I suppose I agree to what you say about the iPhone, but it comes in handy for business people. Being a publicist, I can catch up on the Wall Street Journal, NY Times, Economists, and porn (j/k), while waiting in long lines, accountants & law offices.
I noticed for #9 you went with the annoying belt buckles rather than the much more annoying and much more prevalent ironic t-shirts. Does that have anything to do with the fact that your website happens to advertise those t-shirts? Maybe you should practice what you preach ( #7) and give the "uncool" Deez Teez the boot.
Longboarding is awesome. you can go anywhere and do anything a shortboard does, plus there is way more style involved in longboarding. And if you really think there is no way to get hurt on a longboard, point one down the steepest hill you can find and When you do fall, you better hope you land on the board and keep rolling because if not your going to be sliding across the ground on your skin.
I enjoy how everyone can't laugh at it and are offended. "Dude i play guitar hero it is very hard and challenging and i dont see why u are talking bad about it" or "I'm indie and a do/wear/have all these things, this is a stupid list. It's very uncool."
Minus the longboarder thing, the rest seem compliant with how rather annoying and played up these objects are.
I agree with most of what you have to say but I think its funny that you think someone traveling walking speed can is going faster than someone on a long board. You obviously have never seen someone actually use one. The whole point is going really really fast and yes you do get hurt badly.
wow, you are an insanely bitter human being.
and ur shit about long boards is so retardedly inaccurate its clear uve never used one before. theyre faster than regular skateboards, thats the whole point of them existing. damn dude, get a life. you are full of hate
Wow.. After reading your list and comments following I was left wondering "Does this author now realize he is exactly the douche he in trying to cut down in this list?".
10) iPhones have changed the cellular industry whether or not you want to admit it. Look at 99% of the new phones coming out from other manufacturers that are totally biting on Apple's style. (I'm a blackberry guy myself)
9) You should probably just avoid looking at others guys crotches while in bars
8) Good luck talking on the phone while driving in California with out one after July 1st.
7 thru 4) You're not necessarily wrong on these.. but you weren't actually funny either
3) Guitar Hero is a fun game.. now read that last word again. That's all it is. Nobody is here making fun of you because you play WoW.
2) You obviously don't skate at all - long or short board. You really need to stop talking about stuff you clearly know nothing about.
1) There is something to be said about everyone in the world not having the same generic manufacturer created ring tones. This also serves as a great meter of how cool or not someone is determined on which ring they are using.. Just about any song will immediately make you a douch though.
I got here from clicking thru dig.. I will now return by closing this tab only to immediately bury your link as hopefully to save one person 10 minutes today from reading yet another stupid shitty blog with no original content. Please find another job (outside of web development). Way to fail.
hahaha! this list rules. why do you have to defend yourselves? "Crocs ARE cool!" lol! who the hell cares?? if you like something then go do it instead of talking about how cool it REALLY is. thanks everyone for making me laugh so hard!
looks like this piece hit a nerve in some people. relax, it's all in good fun. ppl are so sensitive these days. just take the bluetooth out of your ear at subway and for the love of god, please don't take calls on your blackberry in the shitter.
Holy Taco fails at humor and creativity. The whole "cynical is overused by dozens of "comedy" websites and most of them do it better than this. Double Viking, Cracked, Omglists, Maddox, this shitty website, they're all just pure uninspired knockoffs of eachother. You guys fucking link to MAXIM? Jesus christ.
oi oi oi!!!! what the hel are you all arguing about its only a list its ONLY text its ONLY made up i mean i wanted an iphone and i play guitar hero but it doesnt mean im 'uncool' its just the person who wrote the blogs opinion okay? it means nothing absolutely NOTHING and you people who all dont like this page are full of hate too cuz ur going blahblahblah ur full of hate while HATING the blogger stupid much? just leave it cuz it means NOTHING and blogger person you shouldve known better to put a top 10 list of 'uncool' stuff cuz a lot of people still like that stuff and it offends them okay?
What's Cool: Enjoying what you you enjoy with little to no regard for the jives and jabs of others, whether that be childish videogames, impractical ringtones or spending your life's savings on an iPaperweight.
What's Not Cool: unfunny list blogs, crapping up my Digg with their unfunny clone-ish failure. I remember when Digg was good, damn it.
And like everyone's already said, Longboarding is RIDICULOUSLY fast, and requires an incredible amount of skill, balance and coordination.
You have obviously never used a longboard. or maybe you have only seen people use one on flat areas, but in MD we have hills which can put us at speeds of up to 30mph...so that really renders your argument moot.
lol @ people getting genuinely upset over this list.
This is a funny article. If you read this and get mad that some guy on the Internet called you "uncool" for doing some of this stuff, you are both a tool, and probably still in high school.
for anyone, especially the blogger, who thinks longboarding is easy...
i'd let you ride my board down a nice big hill and then laugh my ass off when you get speed wobbles and eat shit after about 20 feet. once you peel your skin off the pavement and pick all the gravel out of your hands and knees, THEN come tell me longboarding isn't dangerous. downhill guys consistently top 50mph (unofficial record verified by GPS is 78mph), and in the course of a casual cruise most longboarders will reach 20mph. a shortboard, by design, will have trouble even going that fast. the two are made for different things. i respect shortboarders too, because i certainly couldn't get on one and do the tricks they do. give longboarding the respect it's due too. there's quite a bit of skill involved. sounds like the blogger described a poser, and i'd make fun of them too.
the rest of the list, save for iPhones and guitar hero, is pretty funny. iPhones are pretty functional, but flaunting it just cause you have one is gay. and guitar hero is just a game. i suck at it, but it's still fun, especially when drunk!
It's hard to agree with you on a few points, namely longboards and iphones, but, please, go look up the definition of ironic and irony in the dictionary. Those belt buckles are not ironic. Beards are not ironic. Shirts are only sometimes ironic, and lucky charms isn't.
Gotta agree on Bluetooth headsets. I bought a bluetooth Jammer just because I hate the way people use the damn things. Use it in you car I am all for it but, in the mall at the store walking down the street put it away.
It is great to see someone talking on their headset as there walking down the aisle then you hear hello, can you hear me? Some look at their phones others do the oh well must have dropped the call. The distance isn't far but far enough to keep that crap from working near me.
Like the list even though I like and own some of the stuff on there but not because I think it makes me cool.
I think some of you guys need to chill out. So a blogger said that something you do is uncool. Who cares? It was meant to be humorous. I have no doubt that each of you, along with myself, and the author do things that are "uncool." Who cares? Stop ripping the guy. It was a funny article and (believe it or not) incredibly accurate.
You know, only douche bags (is that one word, two or hyphenated? whatever, you're one however it's spelled.) go around telling people what's cool and what's not. Find something interesting or relavant to write about.
And f**k you, iPhones, belt buckles, PT Cruisers and funny ringtones ROCK! Bluetooth headsets are the future, deal with it, wah freekin wah, people use something I don't approve of to communicate. What the hell ever.
Obviously your girlfriend thinks you're funny guy, and I bet your mom loved the little skits you put on when you were a kid, but it's adult time now, grow up.
I love my iPhone.
Yet, I laughed at your list.
When I travel, Google Maps via the iPhone has saved my ass many times.
I shit you not, i took a call the other day in the grocery store while waiting in line, and low and behold this guy in front of me had one too. He felt the urge to pull his out and place a call as to say, "I'm just as cool as you too."
Fuckin weirdos, it's a great phone, but its not an extension of your penis.
(689 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
May 14th, 2008 at 06:28 pm
Thank God someone said Crocs. Those are the ugliest shoes I have ever witnessed ( and I grew up with jellie shoes!).
May 14th, 2008 at 06:28 pm
Nothing but haters..
May 14th, 2008 at 06:34 pm
a good alternitave to a longboard is a fatty liquor store cruiser with some fatty 65mms that you can ollie up curbs with and still go much faster than a sandal wearing hippie listening to phish soul cruising down the sidewalk on their wank plank. i have never ever in the 12 years of skate ratizm witnessed anyone on a longboard bombing a hill or for that matter doing anything the slightest bit gnarley. Ya cant powerslide on a longboard so how the fuck are you going to bomb a hill like a man??? " i used to skate is a famous longboard quote"... unless your over 50 or you have a period once a month, stay the fuck off a longboard!!!! marks!!!!
May 14th, 2008 at 06:36 pm
what about popped collars? My personal number one.
May 14th, 2008 at 06:36 pm
Funniest site I've seen today.
Second best part was reading the comments from people who actually felt slighted by your list! It seems that iPhones, longboards, and guitar hero are very touchy subjects -- or do the comments reflect something about their users?
May 14th, 2008 at 06:39 pm
what a ghey list - what a ghey site. what a stupid list by closet pedophiles. to the idiot who thinks crocs are bad footwear, to dissing the iphone, to dissing long boards - fuck yourself. and no, i don't think i am cool.
May 14th, 2008 at 06:40 pm
maybe You cant slide a longboard but that's probably because you suck.
May 14th, 2008 at 06:43 pm
I Love The Fact There Was An Advert At The Side Saying
"Win An iPhone"
May 14th, 2008 at 06:45 pm
some of these points are to true! I could think of several others that could be added to the list also. good post.
----
Toby
http://twilkins.net
May 14th, 2008 at 06:46 pm
All these haters agreed or listed what they hated but gave no alternative or had the balls to say what they thought was cool... Except for the skater who types like he is texting on his mobile (With his Bam Margera background)... All you losers can whisper in each others ear while you circle jerk about how less cool other people are without putting your neck out there. You should all stop butt patting and kissing up to some asinine blogger whose name isn't onthe article
May 14th, 2008 at 06:48 pm
I'm a big fat dick.
May 14th, 2008 at 06:53 pm
People who constantly have to judge others in order to feel like they fit in are not cool. You, sir, are not cool. I bet you actually are jealous of these people in real life.
Who cares whats cool or not, let people do what they want. I saw a comment telling loler to chill out, and that on the internet you can do whatever you want, well, let people in real life do whatever they want. Let them wear their fidel castro hats, and funny belts. Let it be.
And that is why YOU are not cool.
btw, longboarding rocks
May 14th, 2008 at 07:00 pm
longboards rock brotha. i gave you some amount of credit up until that point.
i've got some nasty gashes from carving some hills.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:02 pm
I can't believe you put the iPhone on there! Arghh, to you. But I agree with everything else, so you still rule. I suppose I agree to what you say about the iPhone, but it comes in handy for business people. Being a publicist, I can catch up on the Wall Street Journal, NY Times, Economists, and porn (j/k), while waiting in long lines, accountants & law offices.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:04 pm
I noticed for #9 you went with the annoying belt buckles rather than the much more annoying and much more prevalent ironic t-shirts. Does that have anything to do with the fact that your website happens to advertise those t-shirts? Maybe you should practice what you preach ( #7) and give the "uncool" Deez Teez the boot.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:07 pm
I would have to put those gay ass affliction shirts on this list. I hope those guys crash their crotch rockets and mess up their frosted tips.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:14 pm
Longboarding is awesome. you can go anywhere and do anything a shortboard does, plus there is way more style involved in longboarding. And if you really think there is no way to get hurt on a longboard, point one down the steepest hill you can find and When you do fall, you better hope you land on the board and keep rolling because if not your going to be sliding across the ground on your skin.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:16 pm
Why you think you're cool: You're 16 and posting comments to a blog post
Why you aren't cool: ...you're 16 and posting comments to a blog post
May 14th, 2008 at 07:20 pm
I enjoy how everyone can't laugh at it and are offended. "Dude i play guitar hero it is very hard and challenging and i dont see why u are talking bad about it" or "I'm indie and a do/wear/have all these things, this is a stupid list. It's very uncool."
Minus the longboarder thing, the rest seem compliant with how rather annoying and played up these objects are.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:30 pm
I agree with most of what you have to say but I think its funny that you think someone traveling walking speed can is going faster than someone on a long board. You obviously have never seen someone actually use one. The whole point is going really really fast and yes you do get hurt badly.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:33 pm
wow, you are an insanely bitter human being.
and ur shit about long boards is so retardedly inaccurate its clear uve never used one before. theyre faster than regular skateboards, thats the whole point of them existing. damn dude, get a life. you are full of hate
May 14th, 2008 at 07:38 pm
This page suck.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:44 pm
Wow.. After reading your list and comments following I was left wondering "Does this author now realize he is exactly the douche he in trying to cut down in this list?".
10) iPhones have changed the cellular industry whether or not you want to admit it. Look at 99% of the new phones coming out from other manufacturers that are totally biting on Apple's style. (I'm a blackberry guy myself)
9) You should probably just avoid looking at others guys crotches while in bars
8) Good luck talking on the phone while driving in California with out one after July 1st.
7 thru 4) You're not necessarily wrong on these.. but you weren't actually funny either
3) Guitar Hero is a fun game.. now read that last word again. That's all it is. Nobody is here making fun of you because you play WoW.
2) You obviously don't skate at all - long or short board. You really need to stop talking about stuff you clearly know nothing about.
1) There is something to be said about everyone in the world not having the same generic manufacturer created ring tones. This also serves as a great meter of how cool or not someone is determined on which ring they are using.. Just about any song will immediately make you a douch though.
I got here from clicking thru dig.. I will now return by closing this tab only to immediately bury your link as hopefully to save one person 10 minutes today from reading yet another stupid shitty blog with no original content. Please find another job (outside of web development). Way to fail.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:45 pm
hahaha! this list rules. why do you have to defend yourselves? "Crocs ARE cool!" lol! who the hell cares?? if you like something then go do it instead of talking about how cool it REALLY is. thanks everyone for making me laugh so hard!
May 14th, 2008 at 07:48 pm
Aww... sounds like the indoor kids have come down with a case of cryabetes.
I'll go call the waahmbulance.
Number 1 should be pseudo-blogs and people who copyright phrases like "holy taco".
/wah
May 14th, 2008 at 07:52 pm
looks like this piece hit a nerve in some people. relax, it's all in good fun. ppl are so sensitive these days. just take the bluetooth out of your ear at subway and for the love of god, please don't take calls on your blackberry in the shitter.
May 14th, 2008 at 07:55 pm
It's comedy, jerks. Lighten up.
May 14th, 2008 at 08:00 pm
Holy Taco fails at humor and creativity. The whole "cynical is overused by dozens of "comedy" websites and most of them do it better than this. Double Viking, Cracked, Omglists, Maddox, this shitty website, they're all just pure uninspired knockoffs of eachother. You guys fucking link to MAXIM? Jesus christ.
May 14th, 2008 at 08:02 pm
oi oi oi!!!! what the hel are you all arguing about its only a list its ONLY text its ONLY made up i mean i wanted an iphone and i play guitar hero but it doesnt mean im 'uncool' its just the person who wrote the blogs opinion okay? it means nothing absolutely NOTHING and you people who all dont like this page are full of hate too cuz ur going blahblahblah ur full of hate while HATING the blogger stupid much? just leave it cuz it means NOTHING and blogger person you shouldve known better to put a top 10 list of 'uncool' stuff cuz a lot of people still like that stuff and it offends them okay?
May 14th, 2008 at 08:04 pm
What's Cool: Enjoying what you you enjoy with little to no regard for the jives and jabs of others, whether that be childish videogames, impractical ringtones or spending your life's savings on an iPaperweight.
What's Not Cool: unfunny list blogs, crapping up my Digg with their unfunny clone-ish failure. I remember when Digg was good, damn it.
And like everyone's already said, Longboarding is RIDICULOUSLY fast, and requires an incredible amount of skill, balance and coordination.
May 14th, 2008 at 08:05 pm
You have obviously never used a longboard. or maybe you have only seen people use one on flat areas, but in MD we have hills which can put us at speeds of up to 30mph...so that really renders your argument moot.
other than that, i agree
May 14th, 2008 at 08:11 pm
shhhhhhhhhhhhh stop arguing NOW
May 14th, 2008 at 08:12 pm
lol @ people getting genuinely upset over this list.
This is a funny article. If you read this and get mad that some guy on the Internet called you "uncool" for doing some of this stuff, you are both a tool, and probably still in high school.
May 14th, 2008 at 08:13 pm
I would add tatoos and baggy-saggy-below the knee shorts. Did anyone notice that the longboarder was riding his unit backwards?
May 14th, 2008 at 08:17 pm
you forgot soul patches, tribal tattoos and insane clown posse merchandise (they normally come in one package)
May 14th, 2008 at 08:25 pm
Im pretty sure Iphone is the modern "real" god
May 14th, 2008 at 08:34 pm
I could tear skateboarders a new asshole on my longboard. everything else is cool.
May 14th, 2008 at 08:41 pm
for anyone, especially the blogger, who thinks longboarding is easy...
i'd let you ride my board down a nice big hill and then laugh my ass off when you get speed wobbles and eat shit after about 20 feet. once you peel your skin off the pavement and pick all the gravel out of your hands and knees, THEN come tell me longboarding isn't dangerous. downhill guys consistently top 50mph (unofficial record verified by GPS is 78mph), and in the course of a casual cruise most longboarders will reach 20mph. a shortboard, by design, will have trouble even going that fast. the two are made for different things. i respect shortboarders too, because i certainly couldn't get on one and do the tricks they do. give longboarding the respect it's due too. there's quite a bit of skill involved. sounds like the blogger described a poser, and i'd make fun of them too.
the rest of the list, save for iPhones and guitar hero, is pretty funny. iPhones are pretty functional, but flaunting it just cause you have one is gay. and guitar hero is just a game. i suck at it, but it's still fun, especially when drunk!
May 14th, 2008 at 08:43 pm
Fuck you. "Fidel" hats are sick.
Especially when Gucci makes one.
May 14th, 2008 at 09:02 pm
It's hard to agree with you on a few points, namely longboards and iphones, but, please, go look up the definition of ironic and irony in the dictionary. Those belt buckles are not ironic. Beards are not ironic. Shirts are only sometimes ironic, and lucky charms isn't.
May 14th, 2008 at 09:04 pm
Gotta agree on Bluetooth headsets. I bought a bluetooth Jammer just because I hate the way people use the damn things. Use it in you car I am all for it but, in the mall at the store walking down the street put it away.
It is great to see someone talking on their headset as there walking down the aisle then you hear hello, can you hear me? Some look at their phones others do the oh well must have dropped the call. The distance isn't far but far enough to keep that crap from working near me.
Like the list even though I like and own some of the stuff on there but not because I think it makes me cool.
I'm cool because "I wear my sunglasses at night"!
May 14th, 2008 at 09:12 pm
longboards are for pussies
they're impractical and boring
get a real skate and like ollie or something
May 14th, 2008 at 09:23 pm
I think some of you guys need to chill out. So a blogger said that something you do is uncool. Who cares? It was meant to be humorous. I have no doubt that each of you, along with myself, and the author do things that are "uncool." Who cares? Stop ripping the guy. It was a funny article and (believe it or not) incredibly accurate.
May 14th, 2008 at 09:27 pm
in no particular order:
1. Nalgenes
2. Dudes wearing sunglasses at bars
3. Girls wearing black tights (Greenwich Village girls)
4. Yoga mats
5. 3k or 5k organized runs
6. buying a latte and sitting at Starbucks for hours with you iBook
7. Starbucks
8. Corona
9. Oval stickers on the back of your car (WTF)
10. Burritos
May 14th, 2008 at 09:53 pm
obviously, all of these items are now totally cool...again.
May 14th, 2008 at 09:56 pm
You know, only douche bags (is that one word, two or hyphenated? whatever, you're one however it's spelled.) go around telling people what's cool and what's not. Find something interesting or relavant to write about.
And f**k you, iPhones, belt buckles, PT Cruisers and funny ringtones ROCK! Bluetooth headsets are the future, deal with it, wah freekin wah, people use something I don't approve of to communicate. What the hell ever.
Obviously your girlfriend thinks you're funny guy, and I bet your mom loved the little skits you put on when you were a kid, but it's adult time now, grow up.
May 14th, 2008 at 09:59 pm
Worst fucking article ever. Guitar hero is a motherfucking video game, why not hate on every game that comes with a peripheral while you're at it?
May 14th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I love my iPhone.
Yet, I laughed at your list.
When I travel, Google Maps via the iPhone has saved my ass many times.
I shit you not, i took a call the other day in the grocery store while waiting in line, and low and behold this guy in front of me had one too. He felt the urge to pull his out and place a call as to say, "I'm just as cool as you too."
Fuckin weirdos, it's a great phone, but its not an extension of your penis.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
screw you. you probably cant even step on one without bustin your oversized ass on the street
May 14th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
umm writers a fucking retard. longboards can go up to 80mph.
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