A lot of "studies" and "polls" and "research findings" come out with some pertinent information. Then, sometimes, we get studies that don't give us any new information about the world around us. According to American Merchandiser, these are the top ten selling snacks in vending machines:
1. Snickers
2. Doritos Big Grab
3. Peanut M&Ms
4. Cheetos
5. Cheez-It Original
6. Twix
7. Strawberry frosted Pop Tarts
8. Rice Krispies Treat
9. Lay's Chips
10. Mrs. Freshley's Jumbo Honey Bun
So what have we learned here, class? When it comes to vending machine dining, no one ever takes the trail mix or the Plen-T-Pack of Juicy Fruit. (And there's a company called Mrs. Freshley's.)
If you really want to learn about the vending machine world, check out this list of the types of people who get the majority of their food out of vending machines:
1. Fat
2. Really fat
3. Pimpled
4. Has Fupa, Gunt and Bunt
5. Smelly
6. Does that snorting thing when laughing
7. Ugly
8. Bacne on Face
9. Only wears sweatpants
10. Chris Penn
See. Don't you feel much more enlightened now? You're welcome.
Fuckin' hell! tell me she's not seriously lettin' her ass all hang out like that everywhere she goes. Someone please show this poor creature to a Goodwill. And I hope that stroller next to her ain't hers. I thought it was illegal to inbreed in most states...well, at least 45/50 anyway.
You know, to be honest, I am heavy set and I know it, but I will also say if and when I do get things out of a vending machine, I get the weird stuff or whatever seems healthiest--100% fruit based fruit snacks, bag of peanuts, baked sunchips...guess i'm the odd one out of fat people.
(16 Comments)
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May 19th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
hey you jerks---chris penn is DEAD. he can't get shit out of a vending machine.
May 20th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Ahhhh Quarrygirl. Your grasp of comedy is, shall I say, laughable.
May 20th, 2008 at 01:01 am
I'm surprised Rice Krispies isn't higher up on the list. After snickers, it's probably the best for your money.
May 20th, 2008 at 01:52 am
Dude, how ya gunna cap on chris penn, isn't that fucker dead? OK, point made.
May 20th, 2008 at 03:55 am
What happened to the old-school vending machines?
I mean the ones where the selections were as follows:
A. Suspicious looking apple.
B. Saran-wrapped tuna sandwich.
C. Cup of yogurt with an unwrapped spoon.
May 20th, 2008 at 04:50 am
11.) The sheer and unadulterated madness one feels after the unholy coil fails to release your letter and number combo snack of choice...
May 20th, 2008 at 06:44 am
What REALLY disturbs me is... Jerky isn't on that list.
May 20th, 2008 at 08:23 am
who the f is chris penn, and why is comment abut chris penn, the article is about vending snax
May 20th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Cheetos beat Cheez-Its! Why, that just burns my bacon...
May 20th, 2008 at 03:09 pm
If you don't think the the Honey Bun is the greatest snack ever, then I will fight you. Thats no lie.
May 20th, 2008 at 05:05 pm
cory, steve is right! leave that fat prick chris penn alone already!
May 21st, 2008 at 07:00 pm
Vending machines, a free extra chin with every purchase!
May 23rd, 2008 at 04:50 am
Fuckin' hell! tell me she's not seriously lettin' her ass all hang out like that everywhere she goes. Someone please show this poor creature to a Goodwill. And I hope that stroller next to her ain't hers. I thought it was illegal to inbreed in most states...well, at least 45/50 anyway.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
You know, to be honest, I am heavy set and I know it, but I will also say if and when I do get things out of a vending machine, I get the weird stuff or whatever seems healthiest--100% fruit based fruit snacks, bag of peanuts, baked sunchips...guess i'm the odd one out of fat people.
March 22nd, 2009 at 06:51 pm
not alone hombre