Here are 8 types of people you'll find inside a Starbucks that are guaranteed to annoy the shit out of you.
8. Manager Who Refuses to Recognize the Words Small, Medium, and Large
I understand, you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks Christian names of Venti, Grande, etc…. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I'm speaking to you in that Native American langauge we used in World War II to deliver coded messages. You’re familiar with the sizes small, medium and large, and if you’re not, then you might want to change underwear because there’s a good chance there’s a sizeable amount of shit in them due to your inability to grasp the concept of wiping your asshole after defecating.
7. Intern Who is Buying for the Entire Office
Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. "Yeah, I'm gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot...and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And 14 grande supremos with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle. Oh, and can I get a smiley face on the bottom of all those?" And he knows if one of these orders is screwed up, it's going to cost him a chance at the a full-time gig as assistant editor where he can bring coffee to even more important people. So instead of just grabbing his bags and leaving, he inspects all 70-odd cups in his 17 flimsy cardboard holders. If you get behind this guy, you may as well give up any hopes of getting a cup of joe in your lifetime. You're better off flying to Colombia, slitting Juan Valdez's throat and stealing his coffee-harvesting burro.
6. The Writer Who Wants You to Know They’re a Writer
Being a writer is a pretty cool occupation, but unfortunately you can’t tell someone’s a writer just by looking at them. And having to tell someone you’re a writer is way less impressive. Therefore, these people go to the busiest Starbucks and pop open their iMac, making sure their screen is clearly displaying a full page of text (or clear screenplay format for those in Los Angeles). Their next step is to make sure they're facing away from where everyone goes to pick up their drinks while staring at the screen while remembering to take deep breaths which will indicate to others that deep and creative thought that normal minds are not capable of, is taking place. Who gives a shit if an asshole and his mac have spent six hours taking up a table normally reserved for four people, it’s important you know that they’re juggling a complex story about a boy in Alaska who comes of age and befriends a bear. That’s right, they’re creating that using only their minds!
5. Overly Happy Line Greeter/Order Taker
At some point, the Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn't have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own version of the Wal-Mart Greeter who also takes your order. But since they don't pay shit, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin' dumbass or an excruciatingly-lonely elderly woman force their brand of corporate chit-chat down your throat. Instead of waiting to pay for your overpriced chai in peace, you have to deal with: "Goooooood morning today! How are you? Some kinda weather we're having isn't it? I wish I was outside in the park! Wouldn't that be nice? It's sooooo sunny! And what's better for you than a nice big dose of Mr. Sun! Maybe some coffee? Ha! So, what can we get you today? Need a little pick-me-up? You do! I think we ALL could use one, yes we could! YES WE COULD! Anyway, I'll get this chai order right up for you. What's your name? Terry? That's my cousin's name! Small world. Yes. It. Is. Small world indeed....Hi! And how are you doing today?!?!"
4. Complicated Order Guy Who Needs his Coffee Right The F*&K Now.
When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system. If you’re lactose intolerant, on a strict diet, and can’t handle a full dose of caffeine, how about instead of ordering a “non-fat, grande, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam" and then stand in front of the pick up window and pace like one of Michael Vick’s pitbulls watching Vick pull out the rape stand after losing a fight, you just grab a glass of god damn water and drink that. Last I checked that won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety... unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana.
3. The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But Goes There Every Day
Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world's biggest bore and the world's biggest hypocrite combined into one big uber-shithead. He won't shut up about how Starbucks is bad for the environment and how they're taking over the world and how their coffee totally "doesn't taste like the gourmet stuff downtown." But when you bring up the fact that he's ranting about Starbucks while he's actually inside a Starbucks, his crappy hippie-wannabe excuses just start piling up. "Well, here's the thing, I just didn't have time to make it over to my usual coffee place. You know the one way over on 2nd Ave? Yeah, it's one of the last mom and pop coffee shops in the area. I toooootally love that place. It's so real. I was on my way over there, but the traffic was a killer, so I was totally forced to get my fix at this place. I mean, the rich get richer, right? That's the law of the land. I totally can't stand that I have to come here, but that's what they do. They tie your hands, man. These big corporations. They just own you. They're everywhere. Can you hand me one of those Splenda?"
2. Study Groups
Hey, screw the library with all it’s “room” and “group space.” It makes way more sense to go to an incredibly busy and crowded Starbucks with tables that have insufficient space to lay your books. Everyone knows you have a poli-sci midterm, mostly because they can hear every fucking thing you’re saying because you’re yelling so that you can be heard over a frappucino being made. If you could, would you hold a study group session in a Turkish prison? Because Starbucks is basically the same thing, except with less gay sex, and a little bit better coffee.
1. The Person Who Peruses the DVD Section As If They Might Purchase.
It’s really great when you’re waiting in line behind somebody only to realize that they’re not in line, but instead deciding whether or not they want to purchase the “Pursuit of Happyness” DVD. “Gee what’s this movie Pursuit of Happyness about? I didn’t hear of it last summer when it grossed over 100 million dollars. Even though I’ve come here for coffee, I should carefully peruse the back cover to find out more about it!” Also, please don't pick up a copy of “Akeelah and the Bee” as if you were going to buy it. No one buys that movie. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not even a real movie, it was just a box cover created by a group of white Starbucks executives so that customers could hold it in their hands and pretend to read the back, giving the impression to those around them that they’re progressive thinkers who seek out and enjoy films with African American casts.
Accurate list... I would add: WaBeMILFS (wanna-be MILFS) doing their best to squeeze the bolt-ons up so high they may actually poke someone's eye out, and, my least favorite, babies, who have NO business drinking coffee, accompanied by said WaBeMILFS.
i think #4's are the worst. i work with several douches like that. actually, reading this post makes me want to drive to the starbucks near my house and lay the smack down, kimbo style on a #4.
My entire office is looking at me like I've lost my mind because they keep hearing stifled laughter coming from my desk.
The "Complicated order guy who needs his coffee right the fuck now" one made me burst out laughing because the picture was spot-on... douchebag in a suit with a wireless ear-piece.
the wannabe milfs are the worst. as soon as they walk in the fucking door you know it's a fucking sugar free vanilla latte...with only, like, 4 drops of vanilla. so you put in the 4 drops and they thank you, but they call you the wrong name. they walk out the door and their not gone for two fucking seconds before they come back in and demand that you remake it because it's too sweet and they wanted it with soy or skim milk or some shit
i went to starbucks once and never went back...there was the most flaming queer i have ever seen there, in the corner, on his laptop and blue tooth ear piece talking about how "nobody likes a whistle blower". i may or may not have maid a comment about playing the ol' meatwhistle but, i know for certain that my asshole was never clenched tighter than it was after his scolding.
btw, "the native american language we spoke during WWII" is more commonly known as navajo. i am a little bit disappointed that you don't remember (or have not seen) Windtalkers....after seeing Conair, i made sure i didn't miss any of Nicholas Cage's films.
The worst is when you work at a non-Starbucks Cafe and the Starbucks personalities start showing up. They forget it's not a Starbucks and start ordering some super specific Starbucks only drink. When you politely inform them that it is not Starbucks and that you can make a similar drink they suddenly stop their cell phone conversation and throw a fit, "Oh, I thought this was a Starbucks. If I can't have my Grande Mocha Frappacino I guess I'll have to go elsewhere." What, you were too busy to look at the giant sign over the door you walked into? And then, to top it off they go back to their cell phone conversation huffing and puffing as they walk out the door, "Can you believe this, I was just told that I was not in a Starbucks. I can't believe how rude these cafe's are."
I hate the people (kinda like #4s) where they are on their blu tooth or whatever and they have their drink and cookie or something, no body is talking (i love silence in those places) and this ass hole is shouting into his ear piece with either rage or my personal least favorite they are joking and laughing at something, they are the loudest people ever, i think they are even louder because they are in silent places, and you have to listen to their annoying laughter.... ugh!
Uhh #3 is a little fucked up people plenty or intelligent people have GEDs im homeschooled i dont get a fucking diploma douche bag so does that mean im stupid fuck no so wipe your uptight wanna show everyone how it is grin off your face and STFU! ya know you would think if you could point out all these different kind of people you wouldnt be so god damned ignorant as to assume people with GEDs are stupid at least they can pass the fucking test walk into any GED prep course and see wtf most people actually know. Whoever the fuck wrote this needs to be beaten util they are fucking mentally retarded!
Hey Sean, before you comment on your experiences at Starbucks, please proof your grammar and spelling you mongoloid. Otherwise the smart people out there will hold you down and teach you the difference between "maid" and "made".....faggot.
Seriously, I always proof read my own stuff, but this is the internet. If the grammer is above the level of "omg wat r u doin 2nit? ne1 wana go2 teh moviez?" there really isn't a point to complaining.
Wow, John... in one post, you've proven that people that get GEDs are morons. Congrats. You could try, I don't know, using proper grammar? It's merely a suggestion.
Hey John. Awesome entry. After reading your post, I need to ask; How did you even get a GED? Your obvious homeschooling prepared you for a long-lasting career at the local gas station. You are a fucking moron.
Obviously, this was written with a comedic air. Let's all take a deep breath and realize that this was meant for entertainment, not to single out and ridicule those with GEDs. You making a comment crying about how tormented you are by one silly comment, has made you and other people with GEDs look stupider and pettier than you did before this post. Grow up and get that stick out of your ass before it becomes permanent.
Okay guys I'm really sorry. Look, I just feel very inadequate because I never even graduated from high school and it really upsets me sometimes that I'll probably never be able to afford Starbucks. I totally overreacted and I realize how stupid I was (and am). So please forgive me.
Just kidding, this is totally someone else making fun of him.
turkish prison? never thought that you'd be that lame to believe in midnight express the movie. go fucking watch: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pHjLMnGkedU and try to think out of the box.
WOW people. Learn to fucking type properly before posting a comment. Oh and John - obviouslly homeschooling isn't working out so well. I guess mommy and daddy don't have high school diplomas either!! Go back to fucking public school - you will most definitely get a better education.
Did you know that Starbucks internally classifies the shops themselves, based on size of the shop, as Venti, Grande, etc? As in, "that Starbucks has two floors, so it's a Grande." It's true.
It is amazing how a simple discussion on Starbucks Coffee turns into a attack venue where people end up dropping the F bomb.
I believe this type of forum simply allows angry and unhappy people to vent. When I read some of these posts I realize the degree of misery and self-loathing that must be out there.
The Turks make totally freakin' awesome coffee, man. I'm willing to bet the coffee in a Turkish prison is still better than the coffee at a Star Bucks. I bet people even break in mid raping to chat dapperly about the weather when they have their coffee.
Just awesome. And the handy numbering system will save me loads of eye-rolling time as I mentally castrate the SOB #4 that's holding me up in line. On the other hand, my plans to hang out with my iMac while writing the next hit great best-seller have been put on hiatus. Thanks.
Haha I found this page to be so hilarious! As a wedding photographer, I host a lot of my meetings in Starbucks and all of the aforementioned happen too many times. In fact, I am meeting two wedding clients today at a Starbucks yay!
If you're gonna bitch about the wannabe writers at least get the name of the computer right. "...and pop open their iMac," That would be one fucking amazing feat and i would most likely commend the individual who has the balls to take in their iMac instead of their "Macbook". Not a fanboy or anything and i dislike these people as much as you, but if you're going to rant and bitch, at least get the name of the apparatus correct.
ah ah
That's funny
to bring an imac in a starbucks!!
ah ah
phew!!... that girl really is an idiot
in a third degree sort of way, dear Volker, you are proviing to be the real idiot
Horrible post's. No one cares about proper grammer when responding to a blog article, get over it. Stop your grimacing and go back to your abortion survivor support group.
I will not do believed those peoples called me a smokers, Because I do not smoke at all and I hates smokes believed you me. Thats why I do not go to restaurants anymore with people have smokes their mouths.
These company called AVIVA Groups, are very impolite and imponderable to beleived the truth but the truth. anyway, I do not do that applying any such dangerous games in my intired world whole life. I believed myself and the good spirit of god that who my trotector and I will be okay and always be a good person in the my intired whole life called planet earth. I beleived in one spirite of true one good god who really protects me from any kind of danger. I hope AVIVA Group leave alone, go away exit.
no one brings an iMac to starbucks, thats a desktop computer. figured id throw that out there amidst the GED bashing and stupid banter. i love how these comment sections turn into flame wars. especially flame wars about bad grammar. dude, its the internet and people are typing on keyboards and dont have your english degree, get over it. and yes, i did NOT capitalize anything. relax.
FYI: The picture used in #7 was actually a piece written by a magazine that shows the employee going on a coffee run, and chronicles the acts of kindness and rudeness of random people on the street. The poor girl eventually drops all the coffee b/c no one had the decency to offer their help.
I get the point, and agree with the list, but just wanted to clarify that this picture was not just randomly taken.
Hmmm, I feel equally useless posting anything here after reading how much effort so many others wasted attacking each other, but I actually had a thought pop into my mind, hah! who would've guessed? My question is, what kind of person or Starbucks customer themselves takes the time to analyze the type of people frequenting a place like that and then dedicates an article to ridiculing them? Yes it was humorous and deserves credit for that much, however this page and many of it's comments didn't seem to further any cause other than pointing fingers at people. Whoops, looks like I just wasted my time doing the same thing, gotta go.......
What about those annoying "bag muchers?" These are the people who just can't wait to enjoy their stale pastry and stand there ripping pieces off it and eating it straight out of a loud crinkly bag while waiting for their drink. I would find these people even more irritating if I wasn't one of them from time-to-time. The whole "bag muncher" thing is a social phenomenon unique to the Starbucks set in the 21st century.
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May 20th, 2008 at 09:02 pm
Accurate list... I would add: WaBeMILFS (wanna-be MILFS) doing their best to squeeze the bolt-ons up so high they may actually poke someone's eye out, and, my least favorite, babies, who have NO business drinking coffee, accompanied by said WaBeMILFS.
May 20th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
i think #4's are the worst. i work with several douches like that. actually, reading this post makes me want to drive to the starbucks near my house and lay the smack down, kimbo style on a #4.
May 20th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
yeah, i like the wabemilfs, they make me happy.
May 20th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
My entire office is looking at me like I've lost my mind because they keep hearing stifled laughter coming from my desk.
The "Complicated order guy who needs his coffee right the fuck now" one made me burst out laughing because the picture was spot-on... douchebag in a suit with a wireless ear-piece.
May 21st, 2008 at 12:21 am
the wannabe milfs are the worst. as soon as they walk in the fucking door you know it's a fucking sugar free vanilla latte...with only, like, 4 drops of vanilla. so you put in the 4 drops and they thank you, but they call you the wrong name. they walk out the door and their not gone for two fucking seconds before they come back in and demand that you remake it because it's too sweet and they wanted it with soy or skim milk or some shit
May 21st, 2008 at 01:01 am
i went to starbucks once and never went back...there was the most flaming queer i have ever seen there, in the corner, on his laptop and blue tooth ear piece talking about how "nobody likes a whistle blower". i may or may not have maid a comment about playing the ol' meatwhistle but, i know for certain that my asshole was never clenched tighter than it was after his scolding.
btw, "the native american language we spoke during WWII" is more commonly known as navajo. i am a little bit disappointed that you don't remember (or have not seen) Windtalkers....after seeing Conair, i made sure i didn't miss any of Nicholas Cage's films.
May 21st, 2008 at 03:12 am
The worst is when you work at a non-Starbucks Cafe and the Starbucks personalities start showing up. They forget it's not a Starbucks and start ordering some super specific Starbucks only drink. When you politely inform them that it is not Starbucks and that you can make a similar drink they suddenly stop their cell phone conversation and throw a fit, "Oh, I thought this was a Starbucks. If I can't have my Grande Mocha Frappacino I guess I'll have to go elsewhere." What, you were too busy to look at the giant sign over the door you walked into? And then, to top it off they go back to their cell phone conversation huffing and puffing as they walk out the door, "Can you believe this, I was just told that I was not in a Starbucks. I can't believe how rude these cafe's are."
May 21st, 2008 at 03:29 am
It's spelled Colombia, not Columbia.......
May 21st, 2008 at 03:42 am
I hate the people (kinda like #4s) where they are on their blu tooth or whatever and they have their drink and cookie or something, no body is talking (i love silence in those places) and this ass hole is shouting into his ear piece with either rage or my personal least favorite they are joking and laughing at something, they are the loudest people ever, i think they are even louder because they are in silent places, and you have to listen to their annoying laughter.... ugh!
May 21st, 2008 at 04:09 am
Uhh #3 is a little fucked up people plenty or intelligent people have GEDs im homeschooled i dont get a fucking diploma douche bag so does that mean im stupid fuck no so wipe your uptight wanna show everyone how it is grin off your face and STFU! ya know you would think if you could point out all these different kind of people you wouldnt be so god damned ignorant as to assume people with GEDs are stupid at least they can pass the fucking test walk into any GED prep course and see wtf most people actually know. Whoever the fuck wrote this needs to be beaten util they are fucking mentally retarded!
May 21st, 2008 at 04:23 am
Hey Sean, before you comment on your experiences at Starbucks, please proof your grammar and spelling you mongoloid. Otherwise the smart people out there will hold you down and teach you the difference between "maid" and "made".....faggot.
September 12th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Oh snap. Internet grammer police!
PULL OVER SIR.
I think we need a you're - your lesson next.
Seriously, I always proof read my own stuff, but this is the internet. If the grammer is above the level of "omg wat r u doin 2nit? ne1 wana go2 teh moviez?" there really isn't a point to complaining.
May 21st, 2008 at 04:34 am
Wow, John... in one post, you've proven that people that get GEDs are morons. Congrats. You could try, I don't know, using proper grammar? It's merely a suggestion.
May 21st, 2008 at 04:38 am
Hey John. Awesome entry. After reading your post, I need to ask; How did you even get a GED? Your obvious homeschooling prepared you for a long-lasting career at the local gas station. You are a fucking moron.
May 21st, 2008 at 04:58 am
Obviously, this was written with a comedic air. Let's all take a deep breath and realize that this was meant for entertainment, not to single out and ridicule those with GEDs. You making a comment crying about how tormented you are by one silly comment, has made you and other people with GEDs look stupider and pettier than you did before this post. Grow up and get that stick out of your ass before it becomes permanent.
May 21st, 2008 at 05:42 am
jon iz dum
May 21st, 2008 at 05:44 am
jon duzznt no the difrance beatwean 3 and 5
May 21st, 2008 at 05:45 am
Sean was looking in the mirror in Starbucks
May 21st, 2008 at 06:05 am
Okay guys I'm really sorry. Look, I just feel very inadequate because I never even graduated from high school and it really upsets me sometimes that I'll probably never be able to afford Starbucks. I totally overreacted and I realize how stupid I was (and am). So please forgive me.
Just kidding, this is totally someone else making fun of him.
May 21st, 2008 at 06:28 am
I'm sorry about what I said, guys. :(
Are we cool?
May 21st, 2008 at 07:42 am
"Tombot Says:
May 21st, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Sean was looking in the mirror in Starbucks"
hahahaha! i was thinking the same exact thing. :)
May 21st, 2008 at 07:49 am
I think Akeelah has wicked spell skills, and could kick most of you arrogant grammar queens at the bee.
May 21st, 2008 at 08:09 am
Akeelah is a movie, NOT real life, numb-nuts.
May 21st, 2008 at 08:13 am
turkish prison? never thought that you'd be that lame to believe in midnight express the movie. go fucking watch: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pHjLMnGkedU and try to think out of the box.
May 21st, 2008 at 12:29 pm
WOW people. Learn to fucking type properly before posting a comment. Oh and John - obviouslly homeschooling isn't working out so well. I guess mommy and daddy don't have high school diplomas either!! Go back to fucking public school - you will most definitely get a better education.
May 21st, 2008 at 01:07 pm
Did you know that Starbucks internally classifies the shops themselves, based on size of the shop, as Venti, Grande, etc? As in, "that Starbucks has two floors, so it's a Grande." It's true.
Also, Akeelah and the Bee is a pretty good movie.
May 21st, 2008 at 01:14 pm
It is amazing how a simple discussion on Starbucks Coffee turns into a attack venue where people end up dropping the F bomb.
I believe this type of forum simply allows angry and unhappy people to vent. When I read some of these posts I realize the degree of misery and self-loathing that must be out there.
May 21st, 2008 at 01:25 pm
The Turks make totally freakin' awesome coffee, man. I'm willing to bet the coffee in a Turkish prison is still better than the coffee at a Star Bucks. I bet people even break in mid raping to chat dapperly about the weather when they have their coffee.
May 21st, 2008 at 01:33 pm
Everybody is so fucking gay please shut the fuck up
May 21st, 2008 at 01:39 pm
Just awesome. And the handy numbering system will save me loads of eye-rolling time as I mentally castrate the SOB #4 that's holding me up in line. On the other hand, my plans to hang out with my iMac while writing the next hit great best-seller have been put on hiatus. Thanks.
May 21st, 2008 at 01:46 pm
Haha I found this page to be so hilarious! As a wedding photographer, I host a lot of my meetings in Starbucks and all of the aforementioned happen too many times. In fact, I am meeting two wedding clients today at a Starbucks yay!
May 21st, 2008 at 01:54 pm
If you're gonna bitch about the wannabe writers at least get the name of the computer right. "...and pop open their iMac," That would be one fucking amazing feat and i would most likely commend the individual who has the balls to take in their iMac instead of their "Macbook". Not a fanboy or anything and i dislike these people as much as you, but if you're going to rant and bitch, at least get the name of the apparatus correct.
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:04 am
ah ah
That's funny
to bring an imac in a starbucks!!
ah ah
phew!!... that girl really is an idiot
in a third degree sort of way, dear Volker, you are proviing to be the real idiot
May 21st, 2008 at 01:56 pm
"i made sure i didn’t miss any of Nicholas Cage’s films".
tell me you're nine.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:00 pm
#3 These are usually also the same folks over at Whole Foods.
Awesome list!
May 21st, 2008 at 02:02 pm
Funny Article.....
Horrible post's. No one cares about proper grammer when responding to a blog article, get over it. Stop your grimacing and go back to your abortion survivor support group.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:06 pm
you dont "pop open" an "imac" - an imac is a desktop computer. it stays at home, stationary.
you pop open an ibook, or a macbook, or a powerbook....
i guess if you're going to be funny and rip on people, you should at least be accurate....?
otherwise, good work
October 2nd, 2008 at 03:00 pm
you are swearing over coffee. i do not believe this.
October 7th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
ha ha ha. Absolutely hilarious! All too familiar.
October 8th, 2008 at 03:10 am
I will not do believed those peoples called me a smokers, Because I do not smoke at all and I hates smokes believed you me. Thats why I do not go to restaurants anymore with people have smokes their mouths.
These company called AVIVA Groups, are very impolite and imponderable to beleived the truth but the truth. anyway, I do not do that applying any such dangerous games in my intired world whole life. I believed myself and the good spirit of god that who my trotector and I will be okay and always be a good person in the my intired whole life called planet earth. I beleived in one spirite of true one good god who really protects me from any kind of danger. I hope AVIVA Group leave alone, go away exit.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:07 pm
oh, someone already posted that - my bad.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:07 pm
# Phil Says:
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:00 am
#3 These are usually also the same folks over at Whole Foods.
Awesome list!
And the ones who buy Hybrids and put Mac Apple stickers on the back of their cars. Same demographic. To sum it up in two words:
Consumer Whores.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:08 pm
no one brings an iMac to starbucks, thats a desktop computer. figured id throw that out there amidst the GED bashing and stupid banter. i love how these comment sections turn into flame wars. especially flame wars about bad grammar. dude, its the internet and people are typing on keyboards and dont have your english degree, get over it. and yes, i did NOT capitalize anything. relax.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:09 pm
yeah, 30 seconds to late for the imac joke. weak.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:10 pm
Volker: Why don't you take a seat? You ding bat.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:12 pm
FYI: The picture used in #7 was actually a piece written by a magazine that shows the employee going on a coffee run, and chronicles the acts of kindness and rudeness of random people on the street. The poor girl eventually drops all the coffee b/c no one had the decency to offer their help.
I get the point, and agree with the list, but just wanted to clarify that this picture was not just randomly taken.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:12 pm
Hmmm, I feel equally useless posting anything here after reading how much effort so many others wasted attacking each other, but I actually had a thought pop into my mind, hah! who would've guessed? My question is, what kind of person or Starbucks customer themselves takes the time to analyze the type of people frequenting a place like that and then dedicates an article to ridiculing them? Yes it was humorous and deserves credit for that much, however this page and many of it's comments didn't seem to further any cause other than pointing fingers at people. Whoops, looks like I just wasted my time doing the same thing, gotta go.......
May 21st, 2008 at 02:15 pm
What about those annoying "bag muchers?" These are the people who just can't wait to enjoy their stale pastry and stand there ripping pieces off it and eating it straight out of a loud crinkly bag while waiting for their drink. I would find these people even more irritating if I wasn't one of them from time-to-time. The whole "bag muncher" thing is a social phenomenon unique to the Starbucks set in the 21st century.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:20 pm
Love the comments, almost as good as the article. Except for the winy ones that add nothing to the discussion.
May 21st, 2008 at 02:23 pm
Anyone ordering a drink with steamed milk. It tastes like milk. It's loud. It's slow. Get a regular coffee and put milk in it, people.
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