Here are 8 types of people you'll find inside a Starbucks that are guaranteed to annoy the shit out of you.
8. Manager Who Refuses to Recognize the Words Small, Medium, and Large
I understand, you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks Christian names of Venti, Grande, etc…. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I'm speaking to you in that Native American langauge we used in World War II to deliver coded messages. You’re familiar with the sizes small, medium and large, and if you’re not, then you might want to change underwear because there’s a good chance there’s a sizeable amount of shit in them due to your inability to grasp the concept of wiping your asshole after defecating.
7. Intern Who is Buying for the Entire Office
Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. "Yeah, I'm gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot...and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And 14 grande supremos with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle. Oh, and can I get a smiley face on the bottom of all those?" And he knows if one of these orders is screwed up, it's going to cost him a chance at the a full-time gig as assistant editor where he can bring coffee to even more important people. So instead of just grabbing his bags and leaving, he inspects all 70-odd cups in his 17 flimsy cardboard holders. If you get behind this guy, you may as well give up any hopes of getting a cup of joe in your lifetime. You're better off flying to Colombia, slitting Juan Valdez's throat and stealing his coffee-harvesting burro.
6. The Writer Who Wants You to Know They’re a Writer
Being a writer is a pretty cool occupation, but unfortunately you can’t tell someone’s a writer just by looking at them. And having to tell someone you’re a writer is way less impressive. Therefore, these people go to the busiest Starbucks and pop open their iMac, making sure their screen is clearly displaying a full page of text (or clear screenplay format for those in Los Angeles). Their next step is to make sure they're facing away from where everyone goes to pick up their drinks while staring at the screen while remembering to take deep breaths which will indicate to others that deep and creative thought that normal minds are not capable of, is taking place. Who gives a shit if an asshole and his mac have spent six hours taking up a table normally reserved for four people, it’s important you know that they’re juggling a complex story about a boy in Alaska who comes of age and befriends a bear. That’s right, they’re creating that using only their minds!
5. Overly Happy Line Greeter/Order Taker
At some point, the Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn't have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own version of the Wal-Mart Greeter who also takes your order. But since they don't pay shit, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin' dumbass or an excruciatingly-lonely elderly woman force their brand of corporate chit-chat down your throat. Instead of waiting to pay for your overpriced chai in peace, you have to deal with: "Goooooood morning today! How are you? Some kinda weather we're having isn't it? I wish I was outside in the park! Wouldn't that be nice? It's sooooo sunny! And what's better for you than a nice big dose of Mr. Sun! Maybe some coffee? Ha! So, what can we get you today? Need a little pick-me-up? You do! I think we ALL could use one, yes we could! YES WE COULD! Anyway, I'll get this chai order right up for you. What's your name? Terry? That's my cousin's name! Small world. Yes. It. Is. Small world indeed....Hi! And how are you doing today?!?!"
4. Complicated Order Guy Who Needs his Coffee Right The F*&K Now.
When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system. If you’re lactose intolerant, on a strict diet, and can’t handle a full dose of caffeine, how about instead of ordering a “non-fat, grande, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam" and then stand in front of the pick up window and pace like one of Michael Vick’s pitbulls watching Vick pull out the rape stand after losing a fight, you just grab a glass of god damn water and drink that. Last I checked that won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety... unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana.
3. The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But Goes There Every Day
Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world's biggest bore and the world's biggest hypocrite combined into one big uber-shithead. He won't shut up about how Starbucks is bad for the environment and how they're taking over the world and how their coffee totally "doesn't taste like the gourmet stuff downtown." But when you bring up the fact that he's ranting about Starbucks while he's actually inside a Starbucks, his crappy hippie-wannabe excuses just start piling up. "Well, here's the thing, I just didn't have time to make it over to my usual coffee place. You know the one way over on 2nd Ave? Yeah, it's one of the last mom and pop coffee shops in the area. I toooootally love that place. It's so real. I was on my way over there, but the traffic was a killer, so I was totally forced to get my fix at this place. I mean, the rich get richer, right? That's the law of the land. I totally can't stand that I have to come here, but that's what they do. They tie your hands, man. These big corporations. They just own you. They're everywhere. Can you hand me one of those Splenda?"
2. Study Groups
Hey, screw the library with all it’s “room” and “group space.” It makes way more sense to go to an incredibly busy and crowded Starbucks with tables that have insufficient space to lay your books. Everyone knows you have a poli-sci midterm, mostly because they can hear every fucking thing you’re saying because you’re yelling so that you can be heard over a frappucino being made. If you could, would you hold a study group session in a Turkish prison? Because Starbucks is basically the same thing, except with less gay sex, and a little bit better coffee.
1. The Person Who Peruses the DVD Section As If They Might Purchase.
It’s really great when you’re waiting in line behind somebody only to realize that they’re not in line, but instead deciding whether or not they want to purchase the “Pursuit of Happyness” DVD. “Gee what’s this movie Pursuit of Happyness about? I didn’t hear of it last summer when it grossed over 100 million dollars. Even though I’ve come here for coffee, I should carefully peruse the back cover to find out more about it!” Also, please don't pick up a copy of “Akeelah and the Bee” as if you were going to buy it. No one buys that movie. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not even a real movie, it was just a box cover created by a group of white Starbucks executives so that customers could hold it in their hands and pretend to read the back, giving the impression to those around them that they’re progressive thinkers who seek out and enjoy films with African American casts.
"...Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn’t have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own ... Greeter .. But since they don’t pay shit, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin’ dumbass or an excruciatingly-lonely elderly woman ..."
GEDs have too much self-respect for that. Starbucks prefers, and can better afford, holders of advanced degrees in the humanities.
this is OBVIOUSLY the kind of list where they make fun of people for laughs...so if making fun of poeple doens't make you laugh...and instead offends you..why would you read it?? and you forgot "the quick change artist" the one who orders their "venti double half caf caramelly extravagnza frap" but the second your done making it (or if they're nice, half-way through) they change their mind and now they can't stand carmel so they order another insanley complicated drink. those people suck.
This is why I disable comments on my blog. People have their right to disagree, but they can hold the arguments on their own blogs. I learned early on that the comments end up off-topic and devolve quickly into group bashing. If you enjoy my blogs, and obviously many do, then you are welcome to read them and provide a link on your blog to mine. I take the time to update mine daily, I don't have the time to read 200 (or more) comments and moderate flames, etc. I think this was a funny article, and I take it at face value. I seldom comment on anyone else's blog, but this just justifies my decision on my own blog. I limit my on-line time to an hour a day, including the time it takes to post my blog, so I have killed my time today reading this. Bad judgment on my part.
Is Sean for real? I literally do not have time to read all 200+ posts to see if that thread continued, but if it was a joke then it is actually made far funnier by its obtuse nature, but if not, WOW. It is good for me to be reminded that there are actual people like that. I mean really dude, it was a single gay man who scared you away. Are you afraid of giving in to the barely repressed desires you hold? As an educated individual, let me assure you, I, and you, are around gay people every day, they are literally everywhere. So if you want to avoid them, stay home, and if you really want to find them, it won't be hard. but they probably don't want you any more than women do.
It really isn't the homophobia that makes me think that it may be a joke, but the position on Nicolas Cage. I mean really? Seriously. Nick Cage. National Treasure 2 Nick Cage? WOW!
Also, Akeelah and the Bee, sucks so bad Larry Fishburne should smack himself like he did Angela as Tina. I mean really, Larry, for shame! That movie actually exists not only for Starbucks related purposes but generally so that white people can demonstrate how open minded they are by extolling the virtues of this artless piece of crap.
If you disagree save it, lots of people like crap movies.
Akeelah and the Bee makes me want to projectile vomit. Hello, didn't we get over the politically correct "I love the black race" shit when Elvis recorded "In the Ghetto" in 1969?
This post is completely correct, although Starbucks has taken control of my brain and I cannot think clearly anymore. My "barista" (does anyone actually say barista?) knows my order and has it ready by the time I reach the cash register. That impresses the shit out of me.
Hey home schooled John, but no offense, try using some FUCKING PERIODS OR COMMA'S. Dont go claiming home schooling is just fine and you 're not fucking stupid when you cant form a proper fucking sentence.
I loved this line: Last I checked that won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety… unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana.
A Starbucks is in our Target. Once in a while I'll order "The largest decaf you have," as there's no frikkin' way I'm going to say Grande or Vente. (And I'll sit there and read while the boys search for things they don't really need but think I might want to trip over later.)
Akeelah and the Bee is a good movie. Rent it and check it out. Its safe for kids and definitely won't bore intelligent adults. I bought the DVD (but not at Starbucks, I go to the Mom and Pop place downtown). ;-)
How about the brooding misanthrope who hangs out in the corner, silently judging all the other people in the Starbucks, while mentally devising plans for an internet list where he can ridicule them in a public forum, just without all that annoying direct confrontation?
I work at a starbucks, and this was HYSTERICAL. I work downtown so every type of John or Jane Doe you can imagine comes in, AND I'm the annoying overly happy greeter with a GED! Yeaah...I annoy myself sometimes, being happy is an exhausting job....
I love it when people like 'John' try and say something about intelligence.
# John Says:
May 21st, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Uhh #3 is a little fucked up people plenty or intelligent people have GEDs im homeschooled i dont get a fucking diploma douche bag so does that mean im stupid fuck no so wipe your uptight wanna show everyone how it is grin off your face and STFU! ya know you would think if you could point out all these different kind of people you wouldnt be so god damned ignorant as to assume people with GEDs are stupid at least they can pass the fucking test walk into any GED prep course and see wtf most people actually know. Whoever the fuck wrote this needs to be beaten util they are fucking mentally retarded!
John, you've used absolutely NO punctuation bar one exclamation mark and a full stop. I also love the bit you wrote at the end, implementing that the person you are trying to cuss isn't mentally retarded already (which I'm not saying they are) which, lets face it, would've perhaps help make your point.
You would be an ideal candidate for being put in head and hand stocks, and pelted with tomatoes and fruit and shit by anyone who walked past.
COCK!
You poor amerifags, up in the Great White North our number one coffee place is Tim Hortons and the really amazing thing about it is that you can walk in, go to the counter and your order sounds like this, " with and " Simple as that. Besides simplicity, Timmy's coffee is a lot better. Not as good as it used to be...that probably started after it got stolen by the americans.
(P.S. The Great White North is an a.k.a. to Canada. It's the giant country that shares you're entire northern border. )
Quite a bit uo there but:
K Says:
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:34 am
Regarding #5 - I used to work at a starbucks, and this behaviour was not only encouraged, it was just near expected. So don’t take it out on us.
You're encouraged to be nice and courteous, not so overly talkative that you make the customer feel uncomfortable.
And number 4, but in the impatient, anorexic, fake blond, orange girl form really pisses me off. She gets in a huff when you get your simple cup of coffee before she gets her venti (add five minute string of complications here).
how about the people that pride themselves on not using starbucks lingo?
"can i get a small coffee OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT HERE YOU CRAZY PEOPLE WITH YOUR ROCKET SCIENCE TERMS?"
SHUT UP ALREADY.
i hate this. particularly with the people who continuously do this. every friggin time I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU CALL A MEDIUM LOL DO YOU JUST HAVE COFFEE HERE YOUR DRINKS ARE SO CRAZY LOL!
you can call it a small coffee. i can figure out what you'd like.
I was homeschooled. I may not be a genius, but we aren't all idiots. John's post just goes to show there is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
I'm sure there are a few bright GED kids working at Starbucks. However, there is such a thing as statistics; most people who work at Starbucks do so because they aren't qualified for a better job.
While I avoid Starbucks at all costs, I am familiar with the #6-type and really wonder how they can get any work done in such noisy public environments with less than luxurious seating.
#9: every single customer because they could save the 50% (guessing) difference in cost (vs Dunkin, et al.) and spend it on something more important than caffeine and sugar.
Alright everyone, enough bashing of homeschooled individuals.
What John (and the rest of you) may not realize is that just because you are homeschooled doesn't mean you have a GED. There are actual schools (thousands throughout the country) that you can be in a homeschool program with and thus be a graduate of that school upon completion.
I was homeschooled for the last 4 years of school only. I graduated at 16. I am nothing like John. I don't have a GED. I like to consider myself 'intelligent.'
I also must add that there are many people who manage to graduate from public/private high schools and then from college while lacking common sense and intelligence. I see it every day.
I have not been in a starbucks. The reason for this is not because I hate their corporate culture or have difficulty ordering off of a menu but because I'm not a big fan of coffee. I find it curious that I've received multiple gift cards for Starbucks and have seen multiple new stores open in my hometown.
It does seem to be a part of our collective culture. As such I'd imagine that the people you find in that store are similar to the folks you'd find in other places of commercial exchange.
Oh for the record, as it seems important to establish ones credentials in these comments, I am a heterosexual male who received his GED at age 15 and went on to enjoy classes at a university and find gainful employment. Also my mastery of the English language is obviously inferior to a great many of the people who have left comments before and probably after this one.
I worked in a real coffee shop in college, and we got all kinds. But the best thing about that job is that we didn't have to put up with crap. Anyone who gave us crap just had to deal and they did! Of course they didn't have cell phones back then. How great was that?
The sad thing about Starbucks is because they are so corporate, they have to put up with any abuse the customer gives them. Its like raising a child. Every customer is like a spoiled brat that has never heard the word "NO". It is like that with any big store.
I tell you people, give it up! Support your local coffee shop and destroy the corporate machine! Down with fascism! Seriously, don't we all have better things to spend our money on? Do you really need all the fancy crap?
Can we all get by with straight coffee, cap, espresso or latte with milk or sugar?
@sumy461: A GED isn't a "proper degree"? I honestly hope you're not as ignorant as to think something like that.
But, I guess I don't know anything, since I dropped out of high school at 16. I guess I'll go take my Ed.M degree I've received since then and drool like a moron somewhere.
And, to stay at least a little bit on topic, #7 was always horrid back when I was working part-time at Dunkin Donuts (not as posh as Starbucks, but, what the hell) while in uni. We had some jackass come in several times a week, always on my shift, running through his list of orders at high speeds and being annoyed with me when I'd ask him to repeat an order or two. Ridiculous.
They all but read your entire article on Fox 32 news in Chicago this morning. Used the same photos you did too. Although they did kind of gloss over your No. 1.(Guess it wasnt politically correct enough.)
They didnt give you credit. Can they do that?
Akeelah and the Bee is on cable every fucking night of the week. White cable execs, putting this movie on every damn night of the week will not wash away your racist white guilt. You will always be tainted no matter how condescending you are by pretending this movie needs to be shown every god damn night.
Was sitting outside the local coffee shop a couple of weeks by when the LPGA was here. Along comes Bruce (not sure if that was his real name, but he was wearing socks with sandals, shorts)
He yelled across 'do they have a low cal, vanilla, latte?' to which I replied 'no
they sell coffee'
(393 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
May 26th, 2008 at 01:53 am
"...Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn’t have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own ... Greeter .. But since they don’t pay shit, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin’ dumbass or an excruciatingly-lonely elderly woman ..."
GEDs have too much self-respect for that. Starbucks prefers, and can better afford, holders of advanced degrees in the humanities.
May 26th, 2008 at 02:08 am
this is OBVIOUSLY the kind of list where they make fun of people for laughs...so if making fun of poeple doens't make you laugh...and instead offends you..why would you read it?? and you forgot "the quick change artist" the one who orders their "venti double half caf caramelly extravagnza frap" but the second your done making it (or if they're nice, half-way through) they change their mind and now they can't stand carmel so they order another insanley complicated drink. those people suck.
May 26th, 2008 at 04:32 am
I have another way of annoying people that's not on the list, but I'm not going to tell you what it is.
May 26th, 2008 at 05:04 am
Have any of you commenters considered switching to decaf? Please, for the love of god, switch to decaf!
May 26th, 2008 at 06:39 am
This is why I disable comments on my blog. People have their right to disagree, but they can hold the arguments on their own blogs. I learned early on that the comments end up off-topic and devolve quickly into group bashing. If you enjoy my blogs, and obviously many do, then you are welcome to read them and provide a link on your blog to mine. I take the time to update mine daily, I don't have the time to read 200 (or more) comments and moderate flames, etc. I think this was a funny article, and I take it at face value. I seldom comment on anyone else's blog, but this just justifies my decision on my own blog. I limit my on-line time to an hour a day, including the time it takes to post my blog, so I have killed my time today reading this. Bad judgment on my part.
May 26th, 2008 at 03:30 pm
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 am
I just got out of prison in Mexico for trying to get some health care and a job down there. What is Starbucks?
ROFL
May 26th, 2008 at 04:39 pm
I think it is hilarious you even gave this any thought at all. Who actually still goes to Starbucks?
May 26th, 2008 at 05:45 pm
Is Sean for real? I literally do not have time to read all 200+ posts to see if that thread continued, but if it was a joke then it is actually made far funnier by its obtuse nature, but if not, WOW. It is good for me to be reminded that there are actual people like that. I mean really dude, it was a single gay man who scared you away. Are you afraid of giving in to the barely repressed desires you hold? As an educated individual, let me assure you, I, and you, are around gay people every day, they are literally everywhere. So if you want to avoid them, stay home, and if you really want to find them, it won't be hard. but they probably don't want you any more than women do.
It really isn't the homophobia that makes me think that it may be a joke, but the position on Nicolas Cage. I mean really? Seriously. Nick Cage. National Treasure 2 Nick Cage? WOW!
Also, Akeelah and the Bee, sucks so bad Larry Fishburne should smack himself like he did Angela as Tina. I mean really, Larry, for shame! That movie actually exists not only for Starbucks related purposes but generally so that white people can demonstrate how open minded they are by extolling the virtues of this artless piece of crap.
If you disagree save it, lots of people like crap movies.
Seriously, I hope Sean is a joke.
May 26th, 2008 at 06:27 pm
Akeelah and the Bee makes me want to projectile vomit. Hello, didn't we get over the politically correct "I love the black race" shit when Elvis recorded "In the Ghetto" in 1969?
This post is completely correct, although Starbucks has taken control of my brain and I cannot think clearly anymore. My "barista" (does anyone actually say barista?) knows my order and has it ready by the time I reach the cash register. That impresses the shit out of me.
May 26th, 2008 at 07:24 pm
Brilliant post!
Don't forget the morons who want to split their "huge" orders between cash and debit or credit.
"Can you put $3 on here, and I'll pay the other $1.64?"
And, Starbucks seems to actually be OK with that.
May 26th, 2008 at 09:05 pm
Who farted?
May 27th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Along the same lines:
http://www.broowaha.com/article.php?id=3558
May 27th, 2008 at 02:41 am
Hey home schooled John, but no offense, try using some FUCKING PERIODS OR COMMA'S. Dont go claiming home schooling is just fine and you 're not fucking stupid when you cant form a proper fucking sentence.
May 27th, 2008 at 01:03 pm
A reminder to Hey John:
Hey home schooled John, but no offense, try using some FUCKING PERIODS OR COMMA’S.
Plurals don't need apostrophes.
May 27th, 2008 at 02:43 pm
sweet writing dude! #4 is also so jacked up tight in line I that keep looking for him to donkey punch the poor sucker ahead of him.
May 27th, 2008 at 03:01 pm
I loved this line: Last I checked that won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety… unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana.
A Starbucks is in our Target. Once in a while I'll order "The largest decaf you have," as there's no frikkin' way I'm going to say Grande or Vente. (And I'll sit there and read while the boys search for things they don't really need but think I might want to trip over later.)
May 27th, 2008 at 03:23 pm
my you're grumpy
May 27th, 2008 at 08:03 pm
Akeelah and the Bee is a good movie. Rent it and check it out. Its safe for kids and definitely won't bore intelligent adults. I bought the DVD (but not at Starbucks, I go to the Mom and Pop place downtown). ;-)
May 27th, 2008 at 08:47 pm
How about the brooding misanthrope who hangs out in the corner, silently judging all the other people in the Starbucks, while mentally devising plans for an internet list where he can ridicule them in a public forum, just without all that annoying direct confrontation?
Oh, and...Photoshopped!
May 28th, 2008 at 12:10 am
I work at a starbucks, and this was HYSTERICAL. I work downtown so every type of John or Jane Doe you can imagine comes in, AND I'm the annoying overly happy greeter with a GED! Yeaah...I annoy myself sometimes, being happy is an exhausting job....
May 28th, 2008 at 04:53 am
i am one of the top young entrepreneur's in Australia and i am just like the complicaterd order guy. i love it.
May 28th, 2008 at 01:44 pm
Holy crap can i get this put on a holiday fold out card?
May 28th, 2008 at 02:21 pm
How do you watch every Nicolas Cage movie ever and not notice that he spells his name NICOLAS not NICHOLAS?
May 28th, 2008 at 05:02 pm
Peet's coffee is sponsoring this project.
May 28th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
omg, you nailed it.
because of number 5, i'm turning into number 3 :)
May 29th, 2008 at 10:02 am
I love it when people like 'John' try and say something about intelligence.
# John Says:
May 21st, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Uhh #3 is a little fucked up people plenty or intelligent people have GEDs im homeschooled i dont get a fucking diploma douche bag so does that mean im stupid fuck no so wipe your uptight wanna show everyone how it is grin off your face and STFU! ya know you would think if you could point out all these different kind of people you wouldnt be so god damned ignorant as to assume people with GEDs are stupid at least they can pass the fucking test walk into any GED prep course and see wtf most people actually know. Whoever the fuck wrote this needs to be beaten util they are fucking mentally retarded!
John, you've used absolutely NO punctuation bar one exclamation mark and a full stop. I also love the bit you wrote at the end, implementing that the person you are trying to cuss isn't mentally retarded already (which I'm not saying they are) which, lets face it, would've perhaps help make your point.
You would be an ideal candidate for being put in head and hand stocks, and pelted with tomatoes and fruit and shit by anyone who walked past.
COCK!
May 29th, 2008 at 01:58 pm
A GED is nothing worth wholly defending on a stupid Web site. If you are so intelligent, go back to school and get a proper degree of some sort.
May 29th, 2008 at 06:19 pm
# Volker Says:
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:07 am
# Phil Says:
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:00 am
#3 These are usually also the same folks over at Whole Foods.
Awesome list!
And the ones who buy Hybrids and put Mac Apple stickers on the back of their cars. Same demographic. To sum it up in two words:
Consumer Whores.
--------------------------------------------
And how!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJYxCSXjhLI
May 30th, 2008 at 02:20 am
You poor amerifags, up in the Great White North our number one coffee place is Tim Hortons and the really amazing thing about it is that you can walk in, go to the counter and your order sounds like this, " with and " Simple as that. Besides simplicity, Timmy's coffee is a lot better. Not as good as it used to be...that probably started after it got stolen by the americans.
(P.S. The Great White North is an a.k.a. to Canada. It's the giant country that shares you're entire northern border. )
May 30th, 2008 at 05:42 am
Quite a bit uo there but:
K Says:
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:34 am
Regarding #5 - I used to work at a starbucks, and this behaviour was not only encouraged, it was just near expected. So don’t take it out on us.
You're encouraged to be nice and courteous, not so overly talkative that you make the customer feel uncomfortable.
And number 4, but in the impatient, anorexic, fake blond, orange girl form really pisses me off. She gets in a huff when you get your simple cup of coffee before she gets her venti (add five minute string of complications here).
May 30th, 2008 at 04:38 pm
RE John's GED rant: I'm sure not all people with GEDs are idiots, but you're not reflecting very well on them.
May 31st, 2008 at 01:07 am
how about the people that pride themselves on not using starbucks lingo?
"can i get a small coffee OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT HERE YOU CRAZY PEOPLE WITH YOUR ROCKET SCIENCE TERMS?"
SHUT UP ALREADY.
i hate this. particularly with the people who continuously do this. every friggin time I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU CALL A MEDIUM LOL DO YOU JUST HAVE COFFEE HERE YOUR DRINKS ARE SO CRAZY LOL!
you can call it a small coffee. i can figure out what you'd like.
May 31st, 2008 at 02:12 am
Oh gosh, that girl in #5 is from my county. She was in the Ventura County Star..
May 31st, 2008 at 03:00 am
I was homeschooled. I may not be a genius, but we aren't all idiots. John's post just goes to show there is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
I'm sure there are a few bright GED kids working at Starbucks. However, there is such a thing as statistics; most people who work at Starbucks do so because they aren't qualified for a better job.
May 31st, 2008 at 03:32 am
While I avoid Starbucks at all costs, I am familiar with the #6-type and really wonder how they can get any work done in such noisy public environments with less than luxurious seating.
#9: every single customer because they could save the 50% (guessing) difference in cost (vs Dunkin, et al.) and spend it on something more important than caffeine and sugar.
May 31st, 2008 at 05:06 am
Alright everyone, enough bashing of homeschooled individuals.
What John (and the rest of you) may not realize is that just because you are homeschooled doesn't mean you have a GED. There are actual schools (thousands throughout the country) that you can be in a homeschool program with and thus be a graduate of that school upon completion.
I was homeschooled for the last 4 years of school only. I graduated at 16. I am nothing like John. I don't have a GED. I like to consider myself 'intelligent.'
I also must add that there are many people who manage to graduate from public/private high schools and then from college while lacking common sense and intelligence. I see it every day.
STOP THE STEREOTYPES, PEOPLE.
May 31st, 2008 at 01:35 pm
you missed out the 13 year old wanna be twenty somethings with their huge sunglasses and designer bags .
May 31st, 2008 at 09:15 pm
The idiots on cell phones in line slowing things down and in chairs talking too loud about their boring lives.
May 31st, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Laurence Fishburne used to be a girl?
June 1st, 2008 at 02:58 am
#3 = The writer of this ridiculous blog. Hypocrite.
June 1st, 2008 at 08:31 am
Thank you very much for the laughs.
I have not been in a starbucks. The reason for this is not because I hate their corporate culture or have difficulty ordering off of a menu but because I'm not a big fan of coffee. I find it curious that I've received multiple gift cards for Starbucks and have seen multiple new stores open in my hometown.
It does seem to be a part of our collective culture. As such I'd imagine that the people you find in that store are similar to the folks you'd find in other places of commercial exchange.
Oh for the record, as it seems important to establish ones credentials in these comments, I am a heterosexual male who received his GED at age 15 and went on to enjoy classes at a university and find gainful employment. Also my mastery of the English language is obviously inferior to a great many of the people who have left comments before and probably after this one.
June 1st, 2008 at 09:03 am
touché neil touché
June 1st, 2008 at 05:11 pm
I worked in a real coffee shop in college, and we got all kinds. But the best thing about that job is that we didn't have to put up with crap. Anyone who gave us crap just had to deal and they did! Of course they didn't have cell phones back then. How great was that?
The sad thing about Starbucks is because they are so corporate, they have to put up with any abuse the customer gives them. Its like raising a child. Every customer is like a spoiled brat that has never heard the word "NO". It is like that with any big store.
I tell you people, give it up! Support your local coffee shop and destroy the corporate machine! Down with fascism! Seriously, don't we all have better things to spend our money on? Do you really need all the fancy crap?
Can we all get by with straight coffee, cap, espresso or latte with milk or sugar?
June 1st, 2008 at 05:13 pm
AND no more flaming people!
Stay on topic so everyone can enjoy the actual subject.
Thank You.
June 2nd, 2008 at 01:37 am
@sumy461: A GED isn't a "proper degree"? I honestly hope you're not as ignorant as to think something like that.
But, I guess I don't know anything, since I dropped out of high school at 16. I guess I'll go take my Ed.M degree I've received since then and drool like a moron somewhere.
And, to stay at least a little bit on topic, #7 was always horrid back when I was working part-time at Dunkin Donuts (not as posh as Starbucks, but, what the hell) while in uni. We had some jackass come in several times a week, always on my shift, running through his list of orders at high speeds and being annoyed with me when I'd ask him to repeat an order or two. Ridiculous.
June 2nd, 2008 at 03:26 pm
They all but read your entire article on Fox 32 news in Chicago this morning. Used the same photos you did too. Although they did kind of gloss over your No. 1.(Guess it wasnt politically correct enough.)
They didnt give you credit. Can they do that?
June 2nd, 2008 at 04:01 pm
Akeelah and the Bee is on cable every fucking night of the week. White cable execs, putting this movie on every damn night of the week will not wash away your racist white guilt. You will always be tainted no matter how condescending you are by pretending this movie needs to be shown every god damn night.
December 21st, 2008 at 06:46 pm
I know you're a troll, but here's this:
Why not judge us by what we do now, rather than what our ancestors did? OH SHIT.
June 2nd, 2008 at 05:45 pm
don't forget the customer who comes in just for a "good read".
June 2nd, 2008 at 07:02 pm
Was sitting outside the local coffee shop a couple of weeks by when the LPGA was here. Along comes Bruce (not sure if that was his real name, but he was wearing socks with sandals, shorts)
He yelled across 'do they have a low cal, vanilla, latte?' to which I replied 'no
they sell coffee'
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