What better place to pull out your best onstage whorin' moves than on the Today Show at nine o'clock in the morning...in front of 25 six-year-olds. The look of shame on the young girl in the white and blue jacket at the :29 second mark really says it all. I'm assuming after the show she had a few questions for her mom. I'm pretty sure this is how their conversation went:
Little Girl: Why did the STD lady make baby Jesus cry?
Mom: Well, do you know what methamphetamine is?
Little Girl: Metham...whatamine?
Mom: Methamphetamine. It's a drug that makes people forget where they are and do crazy things like give make-believe mouth sex to tubby guitarists onstage during a family program.
Little Girl: Is that why she also has "trailer park face"?
Mom: Now you're learning! You make me so proud!
Little Girl: Then why do I still feel empty inside.
Mom: That's because the trailer-park-STD-meth lady just took away some of your innocence. And the bad news is, you'll never ever get it back.
Those kids in the front row should probably get to a doctor. 10,000 milligrams of penicillin and whatever shots you get when you come back from Thailand should do it. It might also be a good idea to get them into counseling before they start cutting themselves.
Holy CRAP!! Sure, she's a 'hottie' (whatever) but seriously, what is wrong with her that she would crawl around, rub herself, shake her ass and pretend to fellate her guitarist WITH CHILDREN ALL OVER THE PLACE. Im hardly a prude, but I could not finish watching this video...absolutely shocking, embarrassing behavior. The pretend dialogue featured here is spot on. Unbelievable
Fergie... making the preschool kids of today into the whore third graders of tomorrow.
And what the fuck were the "chaperones" doing there not beating the shit out of her with their large purses full of coins and receipts from 1984? There's never an old 90 year old bitchy old lady when you need one. Seriously, those people need to be fired.
Why can't those kids be taken to... I don't know... the zoo? Or how about a show aimed at kids, like Power Rangers or Sesame Street or some shit?
Yes, what Fergie did was uncalled for. It was crass, rude, and flat out embarrassing. Those children should not have to witness something like that at their ages. I would expect an apology from her publicist to be forthcoming.
But all that aside, let's remember the truly important thing that this video taught us: Fergie sounds like my neighbor's cat in heat.
Your guyz'z talk between the kid and mom is fucking PRICELESS!!!!!!
You guyz fuckn RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(the little girl already knows about "trailer park face" )Ha Ha!!!
(15 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
May 20th, 2008 at 02:34 pm
jesus fucking christ. drag that piece of shit into an empty lot and shoot her.
May 20th, 2008 at 02:57 pm
Those kids in the front row should probably get to a doctor. 10,000 milligrams of penicillin and whatever shots you get when you come back from Thailand should do it. It might also be a good idea to get them into counseling before they start cutting themselves.
May 20th, 2008 at 03:17 pm
i'd still do 'er.....
like you wouldnt.
May 20th, 2008 at 04:44 pm
What else would you expect from a skank who gives it up to knee-grows
May 20th, 2008 at 05:55 pm
Holy CRAP!! Sure, she's a 'hottie' (whatever) but seriously, what is wrong with her that she would crawl around, rub herself, shake her ass and pretend to fellate her guitarist WITH CHILDREN ALL OVER THE PLACE. Im hardly a prude, but I could not finish watching this video...absolutely shocking, embarrassing behavior. The pretend dialogue featured here is spot on. Unbelievable
May 20th, 2008 at 06:24 pm
She has an inside out penis.
May 20th, 2008 at 07:05 pm
wow, is she tryin to be the "female" verssion of Jim Morrison? If she is, its not workin, shes too freakin ugly!!
May 20th, 2008 at 07:24 pm
shes cute
http://digitalfuntown.squarespace.com/dft-blog/2008/4/23/short-shorts-se...
May 21st, 2008 at 12:17 am
I dont understand what wrong with her? it seems like a normal praformance
May 21st, 2008 at 03:36 am
Fergie... making the preschool kids of today into the whore third graders of tomorrow.
And what the fuck were the "chaperones" doing there not beating the shit out of her with their large purses full of coins and receipts from 1984? There's never an old 90 year old bitchy old lady when you need one. Seriously, those people need to be fired.
Why can't those kids be taken to... I don't know... the zoo? Or how about a show aimed at kids, like Power Rangers or Sesame Street or some shit?
May 21st, 2008 at 04:17 am
wow, im only going to do meth once...im not going to end up like that girl...
May 21st, 2008 at 06:09 am
Yes, what Fergie did was uncalled for. It was crass, rude, and flat out embarrassing. Those children should not have to witness something like that at their ages. I would expect an apology from her publicist to be forthcoming.
But all that aside, let's remember the truly important thing that this video taught us: Fergie sounds like my neighbor's cat in heat.
May 22nd, 2008 at 01:42 am
Ta hell with the kids, she does have a nice little leather clad shakin' ass eh?
May 22nd, 2008 at 01:50 am
Your guyz'z talk between the kid and mom is fucking PRICELESS!!!!!!
You guyz fuckn RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(the little girl already knows about "trailer park face" )Ha Ha!!!
May 25th, 2008 at 04:13 pm
That dialouououge (spellcheck) might have been one of the best things you've written since i started reading this blog. You are so fucking fun..
"Little Girl: Is that why she also has “trailer park face”?
Mom: Now you’re learning! You make me so proud!" - Great!
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