President Bush Can’t Remember If He Did Cocaine

bush cocaine

In Scott McClellan’s new book, the former White House Press Secretary claims that our fearless leader can’t quite remember if he plowed through a few fat rails in his earlier partying days:

Writes McClellan: “‘The media won’t let go of these ridiculous cocaine rumors,’ I heard Bush say. ‘You know, the truth is I honestly don’t remember whether I tried it or not. We had some pretty wild parties back in the day, and I just don’t remember.’

“I remember thinking to myself, How can that be? How can someone simply not remember whether or not they used an illegal substance like cocaine? It didn’t make a lot of sense.”

First off, if you can’t remember whether you did it or not, then I’m pretty sure that means you did it. But this makes me wonder, if he can’t remember something as important as whether or not he snorted coke, then what else could he be forgetting? Here are a few other little tidbits that may have slipped the president’s mind:

  • Not sure if he’s ever tried Pop-Tarts.

  • Can’t recall if that chick in Total Recall had three or four boobs.
  • “Forgot” about Parent-Teacher Night in fourth grade.
  • Recollection hazy about how he got “I Love Cocaine When It Goes Up My Nose! Can you please give me some cocaine? Cocaine!” tattoo on small of back.
  • Can’t remember if he’s also supposed to not remember trying ’shrooms.
  • Still can’t find car keys.
  • Is pretty sure he owned the Texas Rangers…but it could’ve also been New York Rangers.
  • Never knows if you “fall back” or “spring forward” or vice versa when it’s time to change the clocks.
  • Is that one Jenna or Barbara? I mean, seriously, they’re twins.

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  • 10 Responses to “President Bush Can’t Remember If He Did Cocaine”

    1. Whoopie Says:

      That PS… I lol’d

    2. Keeblerkahn Says:

      In his defense, being president is a stressful job and I’m sure his mind is chalked full of ‘portain stuff’ as he likes to call it. Lets start with something only a few years old and see if he remembers. Mr. Bush, do you remember lying to the American people and the world to justify going to war with a country that had nothing to do with 9 11?

    3. blake williams Says:

      he did it. motherfucker still owes me 40 bucks for a gram

    4. Bosco Says:

      Jeeeezus, Keeblerkahn you are a total douchebag. I’m so tired of hearing that tired old story about how Bush lied to America. You’re the type of person that thinks we can just bury our heads in the sand and everything will be fuckin peachy….well thats not reality fuckface.

    5. Dave Says:

      In regards to the Rangers, could have owned a Range Rover, or a VHS copy of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as well. 4 more years!!!

    6. JW Says:

      Whats with all these BORING political posts? I go to this site to get away from this SHIT!!

    7. billy bunghole Says:

      that pic needs to be rocked on my desk top

    8. Reality Says:

      Boscoe’s an inbred redneck

      Jesus guide my bullets!!!!!

    9. Anonymous Says:

      You know Bosco, the internet can be used to find things that aren’t porn. You might want to try it sometime. Some people actually read and form there own opinions, I know it’s a lot harder than reading a bumper sticker to find who it is you think you should hate but you might want to give it a shot sometime.

    10. Keeblerkahn Says:

      Bosco, I don’t think that we should bury our heads in the sand, but I also don’t think every Arab is our enemy. Bush lied, it’s a fact, deal with it.

      Go back to jacking off to 2 girls 1 cup, the adults are talking.

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