College is a great place to learn and have fun. But let’s not kid ourselves, some degrees are as useless as the plot in a Michael Bay film. Here’s a list of 10 degrees that may be interesting, but do jack shit for you in the real world.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: With an art history degree you could maybe curate an art gallery or work at a museum or….yeah, that’s it. That’s all you can do. And seeing as how every art gallery and museum I’ve ever been to has exactly one dude sitting quietly at a desk reading a New Yorker and eating a food that requires chopsticks, I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s not a lot of positions open in the field. That means you’re going to have to venture out into the corporate world. And let me inform you, when you’re interviewing with Bob from the HR team at Wal-Mart who’s wearing a tie that has the twin towers smoking with writing underneath that says “We Will Never Forget,” your art history degree says to him “I’m a commie a-hole who thinks I’m better than guys with 9/11 ties.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: After your parents boot your ass from your bedroom to make room for anything that’s not your bedroom, you’ll wander towards the nearest coffee shop and get a job there, which will allow you to meet artists who will thank you for allowing them to put fliers by the cash register that inform people of their upcoming show that touts “the combination of art and flute.”
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.
What Job You’ll End Up With: Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.
Why It Won't Help You Get a Job: If you're not named Achmed or Bjork or G'Day Mate this isn't a degree, it's the last 18 years of your life. If you really want to study us you don't need to go to some stupid class, you need only to sit back and watch a two-hour block of Must-See TV to understand The American. After doing my own research, it seems that this mysterious creature is a pot-bellied humanoid with a hot wife and bad credit who has a penchant for low-calorie beer, Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays, Denny's, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Dave and Busters, Steak and Shake, Chilis (again) and Red Lobster. Oh and he can totally demolish a White Castle Crave Case in, like, 20 seconds. OK, now give me my degree.
What Job You’ll End Up With: To take your American Studies degree one step further, you will be qualified to do 40-50 years of “graduate work” cleaning tables and taking orders at a Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays or Red Lobster. Or possibly Denny’s.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: I didn’t even know this was a major until I found it on the Appalachian State website. According to their actual explanation of this major: “Music therapy is the scientific application of the art of music within a therapeutic relationship to meet the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of individuals.” Which is a big, fancy way of saying “We’ll teach you how to make a mix tape.” I guess I, too, am a qualified music therapist because my “Summer Jams ‘95” tape I made in the 10th grade totally rocked my house party. All my friends told me that kicking it off with Wreckz-N-Effects “Rump Shaker” followed by Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” totally met their physical, mental and spiritual needs to help them get wasted on my dad’s Schnapps and Drambuie.
What Job You’ll End Up With: After realizing that yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay people just to come in and set mood music, you’re sadly going to end up putting your degree towards burning a fire to keep warm because you are homeless.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Despite what “Dancing with the Stars” and “High School Musical” may tell you, there aren’t a lot of dancing jobs out there—so you better be good because there aren’t any gigs for mediocre dancers. Outside of New York City or some crap in LA there is absolutely nothing you can do with a dance degree that doesn’t involve actually dancing for money. And since the Des Moines interpretive dance movement hasn’t really taken off yet, you have a better chance landing a job as an 8-Track repairman or a member of the Beatles.
What Job You’ll End Up With: After moving to New York and trying out for Hello Dolly! or Damn Yankees or any of the other seven Broadway plays that want dancers and not landing a single one because you got your dance degree from Ball State, you will find ample opportunity to show off your choreographic skills at one of the city’s many strip clubs. You’ll just need to change your name to Crystal or Bambi and you’ll be able finally live out your dream as a dancer. (Mom and Dad will be so proud!)
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: If someone can spend a weekend with a box of Cliff’s Notes and have only a slightly less conversational knowledge of what you spent 4 years studying, you probably don’t have the most employer friendly degree. Having an English Lit degree is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: No one cares and the best you can hope for is every once in a while someone buys you a beer because of it.
What Job You’ll End Up With: You can read and comprehend, so that gives you an advantage over 99.5% of the people that peruse Craig’s list job listings. Therefore, you’ll most likely end up landing an entry level position at a random small company, or showing up to your interview and being raped repeatedly by a group of masked men.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Not only does no one speak this language anymore, but we already have all the Latin that exists in the world. There’s no new Latin that’s hot off the presses that needs immediate translating. I’m no business major, but majoring in a language that doesn’t exist anymore doesn’t sound so good for job security. And I’m sorry to break the news to you, but the world doesn’t need someone to translate The Bible or the inscription on the side of a Post Office or El Loco Latino’s “Latin House Party.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: Since you majored in something that doesn’t exist, you’re going to have two jobs. Your first one will be as the annoying pretentious guy who gives everyone the Latin etymology of every big word he hears at every dinner party he attends. Your second, and most lucrative job, will be as a Subway Sandwich Artist.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: No one in hollywood gives a shit that you made a short film about an alcoholic albino that discovers the meaning of life through the help of a retarded child. Unless that retarded child was played by the son of Harvey Weinstein, your film or degree will be as pointless as the last three seasons of Lost
What Job You’ll End Up With: If you’re lucky, you’ll have an uncle who can get you a job as a production assistant on CSI Miami, where your time will be spent making coffee runs and finding whores that will let David Caruso pee on them.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Sorry God, but a major in Religion is about as worthless as St. Brice (The Patron Saint of Stomach Aches.) Even Duke University can’t put a solid sell on this degree: “A major in religion offers intellectual excitement and can be a pathway to a liberal education.” OK, you sold me. So now I get to shell out about a hundred thousand dollars so I can know what to wear to a Shinto ceremony and learn how many virgins Allah will give me if I blow myself up in an Israeli square? If it’s OK with you, I’ll keep my money and stick to my sinning-a-lot-now-and-repenting-on-my-deathbed plan.
What Job You’ll End Up With: This one is tricky. On one hand you’ll probably end up working behind the desk of a Christian Science Reading Room. But on the other, you may end up with everlasting peace and spiritual enlightenment. Let’s call it a draw.
My favorite are the people who have graduation day regrets after suddenly realizing that there was no job outlook for their major. They then confide in you wishing they had taken the major that you were in, with complete confidence that it was that single decision and the subsequent course work would have been comparable.
"man i really wish i would have majored in Chemical Engineering instead of Communications"
"# Tickaz Says: June 4th, 2008 at 7:18 am
I studied 2 years of a 3 years Physics degree before realising it was useless and shit. I now work in “management” at a fast food restaurant"
See dude... this is why you're a loser. You can't even count. Physics degrees are 4 years long and mine got me a starting salary of 80K$. What a fuckin loser.... physics is worthless. I'm taking that to mean you're too stupid to do math.
Mr. Goldstrom (I assume you are a Mr. if not I apologize for my gross ignorance),
I respect what you wrote. It is all that you make of it. Most employers are not looking for the specific major, but for the proofs and indicators of a person that can finish something difficult. They are looking for people that learned to learn. The material taught in universities is generally useless, but the lessons learned are those of the stout heart and iron backbone. I don't have a degree. I am working on it. I have a family of my own now. Working full time, going to school full time and being a husband and parent full time will tell the tale. Thank you for your honest living and uplifting comments. That is my dream. Thank You. God Bless.
Anyone who says English Lit is worthless probably has never met anyone who's majored in it: nearly everyone I've met who's majored it, has a sweet magazine job.
I am a film major and I agree that it's a useless major. Through two years in classes, I've learned in only one class, cinematography. However, I've learned a whole lot outside of class by helping out on shoots, and by going to film school I've already made several useful connections. The degree itself may be useless, but the experience is enough to get a good job if you know your shit and put some effort into it.
I remember seeing a stat that somewhere around 80-90 percent of film students are out of the business within five years of graduation. However, I've also noticed that about 80-90 percent of the students at my school don't work on a lot of shoots even though there are more than enough opportunities for them to do so, and consequently they know nothing and nobody. It's an easy major if you don't mind being unemployed, but if you really want to work in the industry, it becomes pretty much the hardest undergrad program there is, and the actual classes have almost nothing to do with it.
A surface analysis at best. There are many jobs in any of these "top ten" majors, and people are looking for top performers. Doing well in your chosen major still counts--big. The trouble seems to be that mediocrity is having its day and rules opinion-making, including the person who wrote this lame article, who likely used his beer-guzzling curmudgeon buddies with C- averages as sources.
Kind of both agree and disagree about philosophy. It's one of those degrees that ca take you great places, or can take you to Starbucks in time for the morning shift every day at 6:30am. One friend of mine I met in philosophy class now pulls down a few hundred thousand quid a year in London at Barclays Capital (his law degree probably helps). Another set himself up nicely in an IT consulatancy during the dot com years. Another got a scholarship to Harvard to study it and is now some sort of uber-actuary. [There weren't that many of us taking it, either. Maybe a dozen took it as a major.] Best taken in conjunction with something else, though, and only worth doing well.
While the guy who said he's an Aerospace Engineering major is cool, I'd have to say mine would be the #1 most useful major if you were to do an inverse of this list: Computer Science.
And whoever said Social Work is a useless major is very incorrect. My girlfriend has an MSW in Social Work from Boston College and is now a clinician working with abused and neglected children. She gives these children some form of stability and care in their lives when their parents / siblings have gave them none. If that's not useful I don't know what is.
I agree on most of these, Philosophy and English Lit in general. My girlfriend's best friend has a masters degree in English and now she's a paralegal assistant that proofreads and files legal documents all day. Whoop dee doo. I have a friend that "majored" in Philosophy (i say "majored" because the "major" only consisted of 10 required courses, while to put it in context, Computer Science had 23 required courses) and now he's a construction worker.
Hmm I'm a Philosophy major and I don't find it useless. But then again I'm not planning to actually WORK with my philosophy degree. I'm going to Med School so yea I took philosophy because I actually LIKE it. I find no point in wasting away money to be miserable for 4 years in a major I don't like just to make money. 18-22 (depending on how old you are when you graduate) is the time to actually enjoy life.
Well, I minored in Latin instead of majoring in it. So yeah, there I am.
I laughed when I read the description, because you're right. There is no new Latin needing to be translated. Just the same ol' same ol' being worked on again and again.
While I never have worked for Subway, I did do a stint at a copy shop. I can totally relate to that part of the description, but now I've got a job where I actually get to use Latin. So I'll think of this post and really laugh when I deposit my paycheck.
Chill out guys. Seriously, just look at the name of the website, HOLYTACO, Doesn't sound like a serious research insitituion to me. The writer is just trying to poke some fun at some "useless" majors. Honestly, If your so stuck up the butt you can't even laugh at your self, then you have a problem. Just Chill out people, why are people BAWWWing and RAGGING over an article that was just meant in jest. Im an engineering student, and regularly take jokes about my major. I don't fly into a rage and defend it. Just calm down. Stop being so hard up, its not like the guy cursed your mother , sheesh.
Half the people commenting can't take a joke. This why I hate some people, they can't just enjoy some stupid comedy, and just enjoy base entertainment. Why do people always have to act smug, offended, or take it to philosophical/political level, when they don't find something funny. A simple "Dude, that wasn't cool" would suffice. Honestly, People GROW UP, and I don't mean learn big words, and go to college but just learn how to take a joke in stride. You westerners are so hyper-sensitive and politcally correct, just laugh it off. There were no death threats, nothing serious, Jesus, You don't have to take so much offense to everything or go "internet psycologist/anaylzer" or the post.
This is why I have trouble, integrating here in the US, people are so freaking hard up about everything. Jimmany. Learn2 to find humor in your own situation, Just because some guy , you'll never meet, made post, that called your major useless IN JEST, doesn't mean he's some "vapid american", or he's someone launching personal attacks.
This post wasn't thought out or researched ON PURPOSE. IT WAS FOR FUN. Its people like you who ruin the internet by TAKING EVERYTHING WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.
Nice to see that someone out all these people has a sense of humor, lighten up. The writer probaly knows that you can be successfully with any degree, and was just joshing around or even trolling for your reactions. Just laugh at your self for once. You guys are so stressed out about what this one guy sees, you must have raised your blood pressure a few points.
From what I see with you people, I'd rather be stupid and ignorant and know how to have fun, make a semi-decent living, but still enjoy my life and take a joke, and be a cog in some giant machine, then be smart, enlightened, wealthy, in all the best social circles, with the best accreditions, and be so stressed out and high strung I can't take a joke.
Why is there a picture of a vibraphone for Music Therapy? Mallet percussion like that, the marimba, and xylophone is kick-ass and can get you lots of money for being good at it.
Lets me honest.....most of these degrees are Liberal Arts degrees. Emphasis on the word Liberal. This why most liberals want wealth redistribution and cradle to grave entitlements. Because they CANT GET A JOB and they're too lazy or stoned to try and actually work for a living. And, lets face it...there aren't that many Starbucks out there to work at.
You're dead wrong on the Latin degree. Anybody with a Latin degree can be hired to teach high school Latin even if they have no certificate - the school will pay you to get the teaching certificate. Growth in demand for Latin courses is enormous, and so they are now hiring.
I agree with Phil a "Bachelors in Interdisciplinary Studies" is the most bullshit degree it means that any two minors equal a major... which translates to you aren't actually good at anything but have been in school long enough to take enough credits to graduate...again without actually learning or being good at anything...
I disagree with Ginger though although a social work degree is expensive, the government will pay for your masters if you want it and have the grades to qualify for it though.. unlike most the degrees on here someone does have to do it, it does help people and does provide an actual job... although it pays like crap and seems like it would lead someone to be very depressed.
Blah. Philosophy is not for pavlovian (public school) animals. It is for the ruling class(employers). It teaches you to think. But what can I say, public school is not really about education. It is a psychology conditioning laboratory (trainning). A real education would rob this nation of its breathless efficiency because smart people are very difficult -- they ask too many questions, they quit their jobs, etc. Good Manageable people cannot sustain thinking for long or really think at all. They are usually childish people who need attending to by adults(upper management). Their lives are mechanical (scripts). Their thoughts well controlled like the thoughts of machinery. Have you noticed that machines don't ever surprise you after you know their habits? We need dependent human beings, needy people (see how everyone here talks being useful to someone else? aka having a job. That keeps my costs down as a businessman) unable to fill their own hours, unable to initiate lines of meaning to give substance and pleasure to their existence. A large fraction of our total economy has grown up around providing service and counseling to inadequate people - and inadequate people are the main product of government compulsion schools. Think Pavlov here with the intent that 'Public education must limit itself to training working class students to carry out whatever task they are given to do and to accept the commands of their superiors.
That is what primary and secondary education is all about. i.e. dumbing down the masses to produce a more docile workforce trained to keep the economic engine going while remaining good servile citizens.
English Lit can get you a lot of jobs, actually. I'm an English Lit Major - and I've already been published, gotten job offers and I haven't even graduated yet. :P
This degree makes it possible for me to get a lot of different interesting and well-paid jobs -- a number of them in private business, or government as well as the old standard of teaching (not going to teach, myself - no patience for it), and L.I.S.
And as someone has already pointed out, The Iliad and the Odyssey were written in GREEK!!! Obviously, you failed lit, and that's why you can't appreciate it.
I don't know about needing a major in it, but Latin seems fairly important for anyone in pre-med or going into sciences where...let's see...EVERYTHING has a Latin term. As long as you can keep your mouth shut at parties, Latin is a great tool for life, and if you teach it, you have an excuse to wear a toga to work.
And why the picture of mormon missionaries? They are unpaid volunteers. Indeed, they pay their own expenses. And how does this relate to a college degree? Most of them interrupt their college for two years to do this.
Well well well, I have an undergraduate degree in philosophy and a Masters in social work. Two useless degrees according to the article and comments on this sight - right? I live virtually debt free in a brand new 3265 sq. ft. home on two acres in the Texas Hill Country and I am retired at the age of 50. How did I do it? Not in the stock market, not in business, but by using my ability to think clearly (philosophy) and applying that to a career path and to manage my money - and then using the knowledge gained from my Masters degree to be effective in my field. It isn't so much the major as it is what you do with what you are taught.
I find it amusing that someone writing a shitty blog site has the audacity to belittle someone's chosen degree. Not that these degrees are all that useful, but neither is your site...or existence.
I taught music for 12 years and worked closely with some music therapists during that time. I saw some fantastic results getting Autistic children to connect with the real world through the work of the music therapist.
Maybe yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay, but school districts do! At least as much as a regular classroom teacher makes, which is a pitifully small amount!
Tip: Wait to declare your major before you can find some low paying internship job in a field you think you'd like. Then use the cash you earn during school and summers to cover for your barely full time or 3/4 time education schedule. (Which makes it easier to hold your job) Pay your way through college, finish in like 5-6 years, but you're debt free and chock full of real-life work experience! Plus you probably have a job or two waiting for you! (I did it :D )
P.S. Computer Science has so many openings right now if you have no idea what to go into...
I'd say something like 60% of undergrad degrees are worthless. Social work, nursing and a few others can lead directly into a field related to your major, but most high paying jobs require more than a BA - unless you're really lucky.
"Physics is turning out to be a pretty lame degree, too. Engineering would have been half the work and twice the money."
Uh, what are you smoking?
Also Physics majors tend to apply for graduate school and medical school, in fact per capita physics majors usually do better on the MCATs when applying.
Yeah...I didn't bother to read ALL of the posts, but I did see a few remarking on how Latin can be used. Sure, it's not that useful, but the article commented that there's nothing new ("hot off the presses") that needs translating...not true! People can charge HUNDREDS of dollars PER PAGE for translations of company slogans, graduate degrees (yes, several are in Latin), etc.
My Latin teacher gets a call every time Nike gets a new marketing director, asking for a translation of their slogan ("Just do it."). Yes, MAJOR COMPANIES TRANSLATE THEIR SLOGANS INTO LATIN! Turns out "Just do it" is "Fac id", so they never bother to pay him since they never use it...but oh well.
boondock saints sucks. and this list is pretty funny. my favorite is the art history picture. hilarity. and yes a psych major is worthless. you can't even work in a psych ward with a BS/BA in psychology in CA. it requires further community college classes and passing a state-issued test. "gaaaaaaay, bro!"....law school it is.
I honesty though criminology/criminal justice would be on there. Criminology, for those who don't know it, is the more intellectual side of a criminal justice type degree. More sociology than actual law and procedures. For those with higher pursuits in mind, you see.... :)
I am going to have to add a major in Business in there - No, not any of the specialty ones like Business Accounting, or Business Finance etc - Just plain Business - Talk about getting you no where! What a waste of my time!
You can get a graduate degree in landscape architecture with any undergrad degree (thank god) and the pay is exceptionally good. You will however work your ass off, and you can't get high everyday this time....bro....
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
June 7th, 2008 at 08:44 pm
My favorite are the people who have graduation day regrets after suddenly realizing that there was no job outlook for their major. They then confide in you wishing they had taken the major that you were in, with complete confidence that it was that single decision and the subsequent course work would have been comparable.
"man i really wish i would have majored in Chemical Engineering instead of Communications"
June 7th, 2008 at 09:23 pm
"# Tickaz Says: June 4th, 2008 at 7:18 am
I studied 2 years of a 3 years Physics degree before realising it was useless and shit. I now work in “management” at a fast food restaurant"
See dude... this is why you're a loser. You can't even count. Physics degrees are 4 years long and mine got me a starting salary of 80K$. What a fuckin loser.... physics is worthless. I'm taking that to mean you're too stupid to do math.
June 8th, 2008 at 12:03 am
The last 3 seasons of lost were awesome
June 8th, 2008 at 12:47 am
Mr. Goldstrom (I assume you are a Mr. if not I apologize for my gross ignorance),
I respect what you wrote. It is all that you make of it. Most employers are not looking for the specific major, but for the proofs and indicators of a person that can finish something difficult. They are looking for people that learned to learn. The material taught in universities is generally useless, but the lessons learned are those of the stout heart and iron backbone. I don't have a degree. I am working on it. I have a family of my own now. Working full time, going to school full time and being a husband and parent full time will tell the tale. Thank you for your honest living and uplifting comments. That is my dream. Thank You. God Bless.
June 8th, 2008 at 01:21 am
Anyone who says English Lit is worthless probably has never met anyone who's majored in it: nearly everyone I've met who's majored it, has a sweet magazine job.
Then again, I'm in NYC, and not Anytown, USA.
June 8th, 2008 at 03:00 am
The American culture has never been more cynical than it is today. Everything and everybody is a fraud on some scale.
June 8th, 2008 at 04:01 am
Huh, I loved the Boondock Saints.
June 8th, 2008 at 05:22 am
What did you major in? and who are you to tell people their major is worthless, they dont run a pathetic website that lists stupid shit...
June 8th, 2008 at 06:00 am
I am a film major and I agree that it's a useless major. Through two years in classes, I've learned in only one class, cinematography. However, I've learned a whole lot outside of class by helping out on shoots, and by going to film school I've already made several useful connections. The degree itself may be useless, but the experience is enough to get a good job if you know your shit and put some effort into it.
I remember seeing a stat that somewhere around 80-90 percent of film students are out of the business within five years of graduation. However, I've also noticed that about 80-90 percent of the students at my school don't work on a lot of shoots even though there are more than enough opportunities for them to do so, and consequently they know nothing and nobody. It's an easy major if you don't mind being unemployed, but if you really want to work in the industry, it becomes pretty much the hardest undergrad program there is, and the actual classes have almost nothing to do with it.
June 8th, 2008 at 06:18 am
You guys went politically correct. How about African Studies?
June 8th, 2008 at 07:27 am
Babes and Beer.Enough Said !!!!
June 8th, 2008 at 10:59 am
A surface analysis at best. There are many jobs in any of these "top ten" majors, and people are looking for top performers. Doing well in your chosen major still counts--big. The trouble seems to be that mediocrity is having its day and rules opinion-making, including the person who wrote this lame article, who likely used his beer-guzzling curmudgeon buddies with C- averages as sources.
June 8th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Kind of both agree and disagree about philosophy. It's one of those degrees that ca take you great places, or can take you to Starbucks in time for the morning shift every day at 6:30am. One friend of mine I met in philosophy class now pulls down a few hundred thousand quid a year in London at Barclays Capital (his law degree probably helps). Another set himself up nicely in an IT consulatancy during the dot com years. Another got a scholarship to Harvard to study it and is now some sort of uber-actuary. [There weren't that many of us taking it, either. Maybe a dozen took it as a major.] Best taken in conjunction with something else, though, and only worth doing well.
June 8th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
While the guy who said he's an Aerospace Engineering major is cool, I'd have to say mine would be the #1 most useful major if you were to do an inverse of this list: Computer Science.
And whoever said Social Work is a useless major is very incorrect. My girlfriend has an MSW in Social Work from Boston College and is now a clinician working with abused and neglected children. She gives these children some form of stability and care in their lives when their parents / siblings have gave them none. If that's not useful I don't know what is.
I agree on most of these, Philosophy and English Lit in general. My girlfriend's best friend has a masters degree in English and now she's a paralegal assistant that proofreads and files legal documents all day. Whoop dee doo. I have a friend that "majored" in Philosophy (i say "majored" because the "major" only consisted of 10 required courses, while to put it in context, Computer Science had 23 required courses) and now he's a construction worker.
June 8th, 2008 at 01:06 pm
Hmm I'm a Philosophy major and I don't find it useless. But then again I'm not planning to actually WORK with my philosophy degree. I'm going to Med School so yea I took philosophy because I actually LIKE it. I find no point in wasting away money to be miserable for 4 years in a major I don't like just to make money. 18-22 (depending on how old you are when you graduate) is the time to actually enjoy life.
June 8th, 2008 at 01:28 pm
Well, I minored in Latin instead of majoring in it. So yeah, there I am.
I laughed when I read the description, because you're right. There is no new Latin needing to be translated. Just the same ol' same ol' being worked on again and again.
While I never have worked for Subway, I did do a stint at a copy shop. I can totally relate to that part of the description, but now I've got a job where I actually get to use Latin. So I'll think of this post and really laugh when I deposit my paycheck.
June 8th, 2008 at 01:58 pm
I'm a guy with a minor in Women's Studies. I won't even put it on a resume.
June 8th, 2008 at 03:18 pm
dudes, rape is not funny.
Rape is never funny.
June 8th, 2008 at 03:41 pm
Chill out guys. Seriously, just look at the name of the website, HOLYTACO, Doesn't sound like a serious research insitituion to me. The writer is just trying to poke some fun at some "useless" majors. Honestly, If your so stuck up the butt you can't even laugh at your self, then you have a problem. Just Chill out people, why are people BAWWWing and RAGGING over an article that was just meant in jest. Im an engineering student, and regularly take jokes about my major. I don't fly into a rage and defend it. Just calm down. Stop being so hard up, its not like the guy cursed your mother , sheesh.
And they say engineer students have no lives.
June 8th, 2008 at 03:51 pm
Half the people commenting can't take a joke. This why I hate some people, they can't just enjoy some stupid comedy, and just enjoy base entertainment. Why do people always have to act smug, offended, or take it to philosophical/political level, when they don't find something funny. A simple "Dude, that wasn't cool" would suffice. Honestly, People GROW UP, and I don't mean learn big words, and go to college but just learn how to take a joke in stride. You westerners are so hyper-sensitive and politcally correct, just laugh it off. There were no death threats, nothing serious, Jesus, You don't have to take so much offense to everything or go "internet psycologist/anaylzer" or the post.
This is why I have trouble, integrating here in the US, people are so freaking hard up about everything. Jimmany. Learn2 to find humor in your own situation, Just because some guy , you'll never meet, made post, that called your major useless IN JEST, doesn't mean he's some "vapid american", or he's someone launching personal attacks.
This post wasn't thought out or researched ON PURPOSE. IT WAS FOR FUN. Its people like you who ruin the internet by TAKING EVERYTHING WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.
June 8th, 2008 at 04:02 pm
@ UCLAcrewDude
Is that sum Chris Rock?
Nice to see that someone out all these people has a sense of humor, lighten up. The writer probaly knows that you can be successfully with any degree, and was just joshing around or even trolling for your reactions. Just laugh at your self for once. You guys are so stressed out about what this one guy sees, you must have raised your blood pressure a few points.
From what I see with you people, I'd rather be stupid and ignorant and know how to have fun, make a semi-decent living, but still enjoy my life and take a joke, and be a cog in some giant machine, then be smart, enlightened, wealthy, in all the best social circles, with the best accreditions, and be so stressed out and high strung I can't take a joke.
Seriously, life is too short to get so worked up.
June 3rd, 2008 at 04:46 pm
i am a film major who now has a great job working @ google
do what motivates you and you will do well
June 3rd, 2008 at 04:46 pm
Why is there a picture of a vibraphone for Music Therapy? Mallet percussion like that, the marimba, and xylophone is kick-ass and can get you lots of money for being good at it.
June 3rd, 2008 at 04:47 pm
Lets me honest.....most of these degrees are Liberal Arts degrees. Emphasis on the word Liberal. This why most liberals want wealth redistribution and cradle to grave entitlements. Because they CANT GET A JOB and they're too lazy or stoned to try and actually work for a living. And, lets face it...there aren't that many Starbucks out there to work at.
June 3rd, 2008 at 04:50 pm
Shit i hope my major lands me writing top ten lists.
June 3rd, 2008 at 04:53 pm
You're dead wrong on the Latin degree. Anybody with a Latin degree can be hired to teach high school Latin even if they have no certificate - the school will pay you to get the teaching certificate. Growth in demand for Latin courses is enormous, and so they are now hiring.
June 3rd, 2008 at 04:54 pm
I agree with Phil a "Bachelors in Interdisciplinary Studies" is the most bullshit degree it means that any two minors equal a major... which translates to you aren't actually good at anything but have been in school long enough to take enough credits to graduate...again without actually learning or being good at anything...
I disagree with Ginger though although a social work degree is expensive, the government will pay for your masters if you want it and have the grades to qualify for it though.. unlike most the degrees on here someone does have to do it, it does help people and does provide an actual job... although it pays like crap and seems like it would lead someone to be very depressed.
June 3rd, 2008 at 04:57 pm
The Iliad and The Odyssesy were written in Greek, genius.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:00 pm
Blah. Philosophy is not for pavlovian (public school) animals. It is for the ruling class(employers). It teaches you to think. But what can I say, public school is not really about education. It is a psychology conditioning laboratory (trainning). A real education would rob this nation of its breathless efficiency because smart people are very difficult -- they ask too many questions, they quit their jobs, etc. Good Manageable people cannot sustain thinking for long or really think at all. They are usually childish people who need attending to by adults(upper management). Their lives are mechanical (scripts). Their thoughts well controlled like the thoughts of machinery. Have you noticed that machines don't ever surprise you after you know their habits? We need dependent human beings, needy people (see how everyone here talks being useful to someone else? aka having a job. That keeps my costs down as a businessman) unable to fill their own hours, unable to initiate lines of meaning to give substance and pleasure to their existence. A large fraction of our total economy has grown up around providing service and counseling to inadequate people - and inadequate people are the main product of government compulsion schools. Think Pavlov here with the intent that 'Public education must limit itself to training working class students to carry out whatever task they are given to do and to accept the commands of their superiors.
That is what primary and secondary education is all about. i.e. dumbing down the masses to produce a more docile workforce trained to keep the economic engine going while remaining good servile citizens.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:03 pm
I like how people still think it matters what kind of undergraduate degree you get.
Guess what guys: you're all morons.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:06 pm
It should be 'whom in the sentence containing "your parents, who you still live with." It only cost me $800 to learn that.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:09 pm
English Lit can get you a lot of jobs, actually. I'm an English Lit Major - and I've already been published, gotten job offers and I haven't even graduated yet. :P
This degree makes it possible for me to get a lot of different interesting and well-paid jobs -- a number of them in private business, or government as well as the old standard of teaching (not going to teach, myself - no patience for it), and L.I.S.
And as someone has already pointed out, The Iliad and the Odyssey were written in GREEK!!! Obviously, you failed lit, and that's why you can't appreciate it.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:10 pm
I don't know about needing a major in it, but Latin seems fairly important for anyone in pre-med or going into sciences where...let's see...EVERYTHING has a Latin term. As long as you can keep your mouth shut at parties, Latin is a great tool for life, and if you teach it, you have an excuse to wear a toga to work.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:10 pm
Why is #1 listed? Pastors can make pretty good money, according to http://swz.salary.com/salarywizard/layouthtmls/swzl_compresult_national_....
According to http://www.my-pastor.com/pastor-qualifications.html, a degree is generally required.
And why the picture of mormon missionaries? They are unpaid volunteers. Indeed, they pay their own expenses. And how does this relate to a college degree? Most of them interrupt their college for two years to do this.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:11 pm
Well well well, I have an undergraduate degree in philosophy and a Masters in social work. Two useless degrees according to the article and comments on this sight - right? I live virtually debt free in a brand new 3265 sq. ft. home on two acres in the Texas Hill Country and I am retired at the age of 50. How did I do it? Not in the stock market, not in business, but by using my ability to think clearly (philosophy) and applying that to a career path and to manage my money - and then using the knowledge gained from my Masters degree to be effective in my field. It isn't so much the major as it is what you do with what you are taught.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:12 pm
I find it amusing that someone writing a shitty blog site has the audacity to belittle someone's chosen degree. Not that these degrees are all that useful, but neither is your site...or existence.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:12 pm
I taught music for 12 years and worked closely with some music therapists during that time. I saw some fantastic results getting Autistic children to connect with the real world through the work of the music therapist.
Maybe yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay, but school districts do! At least as much as a regular classroom teacher makes, which is a pitifully small amount!
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:16 pm
Electrical Engineering!! chicka chicka yeah! i have enough money to send my great children to any ivy college!
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:18 pm
Sociology too.
But hey, if you continue in school after getting your Bachelors in Sociology to get some credentials,
you could get a really great job in a halfway house or an old folks home flipping old people for $8 an hour.
eventually you may make it to manager, at $9 an hour.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:20 pm
Tip: Wait to declare your major before you can find some low paying internship job in a field you think you'd like. Then use the cash you earn during school and summers to cover for your barely full time or 3/4 time education schedule. (Which makes it easier to hold your job) Pay your way through college, finish in like 5-6 years, but you're debt free and chock full of real-life work experience! Plus you probably have a job or two waiting for you! (I did it :D )
P.S. Computer Science has so many openings right now if you have no idea what to go into...
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:21 pm
Funny, not very well thought through though.
The philosophy majors (at my university at least) make more money than any other major 5 years after graduation.
Philosophy majors go to law school, and teach philosophy.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:26 pm
I'd say something like 60% of undergrad degrees are worthless. Social work, nursing and a few others can lead directly into a field related to your major, but most high paying jobs require more than a BA - unless you're really lucky.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:31 pm
"Physics is turning out to be a pretty lame degree, too. Engineering would have been half the work and twice the money."
Uh, what are you smoking?
Also Physics majors tend to apply for graduate school and medical school, in fact per capita physics majors usually do better on the MCATs when applying.
June 3rd, 2008 at 05:33 pm
"I like how people still think it matters what kind of undergraduate degree you get.
Guess what guys: you’re all morons."
Yes, because any jackass can apply for dental school with a philosophy or history degree. Psh.
June 8th, 2008 at 07:59 pm
"After realizing that yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay people just to come in and set mood music..."
Yes.... yes they do, actually. I realize this list is just for fun, but you couldn't be farther off base on Music Therapy.
June 8th, 2008 at 08:19 pm
Yeah...I didn't bother to read ALL of the posts, but I did see a few remarking on how Latin can be used. Sure, it's not that useful, but the article commented that there's nothing new ("hot off the presses") that needs translating...not true! People can charge HUNDREDS of dollars PER PAGE for translations of company slogans, graduate degrees (yes, several are in Latin), etc.
My Latin teacher gets a call every time Nike gets a new marketing director, asking for a translation of their slogan ("Just do it."). Yes, MAJOR COMPANIES TRANSLATE THEIR SLOGANS INTO LATIN! Turns out "Just do it" is "Fac id", so they never bother to pay him since they never use it...but oh well.
June 8th, 2008 at 09:51 pm
boondock saints sucks. and this list is pretty funny. my favorite is the art history picture. hilarity. and yes a psych major is worthless. you can't even work in a psych ward with a BS/BA in psychology in CA. it requires further community college classes and passing a state-issued test. "gaaaaaaay, bro!"....law school it is.
June 8th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I honesty though criminology/criminal justice would be on there. Criminology, for those who don't know it, is the more intellectual side of a criminal justice type degree. More sociology than actual law and procedures. For those with higher pursuits in mind, you see.... :)
June 8th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I am going to have to add a major in Business in there - No, not any of the specialty ones like Business Accounting, or Business Finance etc - Just plain Business - Talk about getting you no where! What a waste of my time!
June 8th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
You can get a graduate degree in landscape architecture with any undergrad degree (thank god) and the pay is exceptionally good. You will however work your ass off, and you can't get high everyday this time....bro....
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