College is a great place to learn and have fun. But let’s not kid ourselves, some degrees are as useless as the plot in a Michael Bay film. Here’s a list of 10 degrees that may be interesting, but do jack shit for you in the real world.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: With an art history degree you could maybe curate an art gallery or work at a museum or….yeah, that’s it. That’s all you can do. And seeing as how every art gallery and museum I’ve ever been to has exactly one dude sitting quietly at a desk reading a New Yorker and eating a food that requires chopsticks, I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s not a lot of positions open in the field. That means you’re going to have to venture out into the corporate world. And let me inform you, when you’re interviewing with Bob from the HR team at Wal-Mart who’s wearing a tie that has the twin towers smoking with writing underneath that says “We Will Never Forget,” your art history degree says to him “I’m a commie a-hole who thinks I’m better than guys with 9/11 ties.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: After your parents boot your ass from your bedroom to make room for anything that’s not your bedroom, you’ll wander towards the nearest coffee shop and get a job there, which will allow you to meet artists who will thank you for allowing them to put fliers by the cash register that inform people of their upcoming show that touts “the combination of art and flute.”
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.
What Job You’ll End Up With: Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.
Why It Won't Help You Get a Job: If you're not named Achmed or Bjork or G'Day Mate this isn't a degree, it's the last 18 years of your life. If you really want to study us you don't need to go to some stupid class, you need only to sit back and watch a two-hour block of Must-See TV to understand The American. After doing my own research, it seems that this mysterious creature is a pot-bellied humanoid with a hot wife and bad credit who has a penchant for low-calorie beer, Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays, Denny's, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Dave and Busters, Steak and Shake, Chilis (again) and Red Lobster. Oh and he can totally demolish a White Castle Crave Case in, like, 20 seconds. OK, now give me my degree.
What Job You’ll End Up With: To take your American Studies degree one step further, you will be qualified to do 40-50 years of “graduate work” cleaning tables and taking orders at a Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays or Red Lobster. Or possibly Denny’s.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: I didn’t even know this was a major until I found it on the Appalachian State website. According to their actual explanation of this major: “Music therapy is the scientific application of the art of music within a therapeutic relationship to meet the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of individuals.” Which is a big, fancy way of saying “We’ll teach you how to make a mix tape.” I guess I, too, am a qualified music therapist because my “Summer Jams ‘95” tape I made in the 10th grade totally rocked my house party. All my friends told me that kicking it off with Wreckz-N-Effects “Rump Shaker” followed by Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” totally met their physical, mental and spiritual needs to help them get wasted on my dad’s Schnapps and Drambuie.
What Job You’ll End Up With: After realizing that yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay people just to come in and set mood music, you’re sadly going to end up putting your degree towards burning a fire to keep warm because you are homeless.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Despite what “Dancing with the Stars” and “High School Musical” may tell you, there aren’t a lot of dancing jobs out there—so you better be good because there aren’t any gigs for mediocre dancers. Outside of New York City or some crap in LA there is absolutely nothing you can do with a dance degree that doesn’t involve actually dancing for money. And since the Des Moines interpretive dance movement hasn’t really taken off yet, you have a better chance landing a job as an 8-Track repairman or a member of the Beatles.
What Job You’ll End Up With: After moving to New York and trying out for Hello Dolly! or Damn Yankees or any of the other seven Broadway plays that want dancers and not landing a single one because you got your dance degree from Ball State, you will find ample opportunity to show off your choreographic skills at one of the city’s many strip clubs. You’ll just need to change your name to Crystal or Bambi and you’ll be able finally live out your dream as a dancer. (Mom and Dad will be so proud!)
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: If someone can spend a weekend with a box of Cliff’s Notes and have only a slightly less conversational knowledge of what you spent 4 years studying, you probably don’t have the most employer friendly degree. Having an English Lit degree is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: No one cares and the best you can hope for is every once in a while someone buys you a beer because of it.
What Job You’ll End Up With: You can read and comprehend, so that gives you an advantage over 99.5% of the people that peruse Craig’s list job listings. Therefore, you’ll most likely end up landing an entry level position at a random small company, or showing up to your interview and being raped repeatedly by a group of masked men.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Not only does no one speak this language anymore, but we already have all the Latin that exists in the world. There’s no new Latin that’s hot off the presses that needs immediate translating. I’m no business major, but majoring in a language that doesn’t exist anymore doesn’t sound so good for job security. And I’m sorry to break the news to you, but the world doesn’t need someone to translate The Bible or the inscription on the side of a Post Office or El Loco Latino’s “Latin House Party.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: Since you majored in something that doesn’t exist, you’re going to have two jobs. Your first one will be as the annoying pretentious guy who gives everyone the Latin etymology of every big word he hears at every dinner party he attends. Your second, and most lucrative job, will be as a Subway Sandwich Artist.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: No one in hollywood gives a shit that you made a short film about an alcoholic albino that discovers the meaning of life through the help of a retarded child. Unless that retarded child was played by the son of Harvey Weinstein, your film or degree will be as pointless as the last three seasons of Lost
What Job You’ll End Up With: If you’re lucky, you’ll have an uncle who can get you a job as a production assistant on CSI Miami, where your time will be spent making coffee runs and finding whores that will let David Caruso pee on them.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Sorry God, but a major in Religion is about as worthless as St. Brice (The Patron Saint of Stomach Aches.) Even Duke University can’t put a solid sell on this degree: “A major in religion offers intellectual excitement and can be a pathway to a liberal education.” OK, you sold me. So now I get to shell out about a hundred thousand dollars so I can know what to wear to a Shinto ceremony and learn how many virgins Allah will give me if I blow myself up in an Israeli square? If it’s OK with you, I’ll keep my money and stick to my sinning-a-lot-now-and-repenting-on-my-deathbed plan.
What Job You’ll End Up With: This one is tricky. On one hand you’ll probably end up working behind the desk of a Christian Science Reading Room. But on the other, you may end up with everlasting peace and spiritual enlightenment. Let’s call it a draw.
I didn't do any of the majors you talk about but you are sadly misguided my friend. It shows a real lack of knowledge about some of these areas and more than a pinch of well......being stuck up your own a$$. I work for a communications company, we employ people with communications degrees all the time. Its not about deciphering human language its about understanding emerging technologies and employing them. technologuies such as MMS,SMS,3G, Voice broadcasting and many more.
I also looked into music therapy which -by the way- elicits the best responses in children with autism and downs syndrome.
you're just sore because you probably feel your degree should be 'worth' more
wow, you don't even know what communications majors end up doing, how valued philosophy degrees have been over the past few years by all sorts of companies across the board, what options literature majors have, etc.
maybe you should try getting one of the aforementioned degrees sometime, maybe you'd learn something.
Though this is an amusing list, I have to say, the thing about philosophy, not actually true. I'll admit that it can be hard to find the right niche right away out of college, but many companies actually do employ philosophers under other titles: consultant, advisor, etc. THey need people who have learned how to think, and many ppl who get degrees in business or the like are taught methods but not to think. To prove the point more so, philosophy majors score higher on the LSATs than any other major, and many law school attendees are previous philosophy majors, because of the ability to synthesize info and arrive at new conclusions.
Also, many in the film world will not take you seriously if you HAVEN'T attended film school. They want to know you're serious, and don't need tons of extra training.
Let me just start by saying that I love stumbleupon. I also love reading all the responses from the toolbags that feel their opinion is worth something. If it was worth anything, I'd have to pay to read it. I don't. Shut up.
The sheer number of responses about how "untrue" this is is directly proportional to how close to the mark the article was, hence why you immediately scrolled to the bottom to add your carefully worded retort. If your job actually meant anything to the company for which you work, you'd be doing it right now instead of surfing the internet. But, alas, you don't mean much and a robot will most likely replace you in the next decade. Congrats on your major!
In response to Dave-O, these are comments from people who are passionate about their jobs and enjoy doing what they do. If you have time to stumbleupon all day long, odds are that you are some 30 something that still lives with your parents who has never taken the time to consider higher education. If you had then mabey you would have something to stand up for too.
@Me: No, I just have a schedule that allows me time off during the week, but thanks for playing. This isn't about standing up or sitting down for anything. It's a joke article, meant to poke fun at some of the more ridiculous fields of study. More importantly, it's someone's opinion. Your problem is that you're so tightly wound, you cannot even see humor in a joke. The sad part about the internet is that it affords people like you the opportunity to ruin a good time by injecting a matter-of-fact statement right behind a punchline. You're the human equivalent of an accidental pregnancy of a girl you met at a party. Thanks for your "input".
Ok, I understand the misconceptions about obtaining a major in Philosophy, but whoever wrote this should really study up on their shit...Philosophy majors are one of the most popular majors for law school students who transfer from a four year...so eat it. By the way, I'm an English major, now there's something you can't do shit with, and I smoke a crapload of weed.
Re. most worthless college majors:
It has been about 8 years since I earned a Masters Degree in Transformative Art from John F. Kennedy University in California and I am currently a Transit Bus Driver with a big fat student loan. Of course I should have known better but the guy in charge of that department really had a great sales pitch and seemed to really know what my hopes and dreams were back when I was 9 years into a printing plant job and broke two fingers and had some time off to re-think my life, etc.. When I asked him about the jobs I'd be qualified for with that degree he told me that I'd be qualified to teach and be a college professor and that it was a fine and substantial Masters Degree, etc. When I was finally finished, and about $38,000 later, he told me, literally, that I could go sell used cars. He had an entirely different story then about my needing to go out and get the equivalent of an entire other program along with teaching experience to be really qualified to teach at a college and that only MFAs, not MAs, taught Art, etc., etc.
Yeah, yeah I know I was a dope, but I've always been a trusting sort and I really felt like I was doing something that would change my life and career and lead to success, money, and a great retirement, etc., etc.
Buyer beware should be written across the doors of these alternative degree program offices I think. And of course people should really check around and get things in writing and really do their homework.
The only degrees worth doing are Natural Science (Psychology is a social science) and Engineering degrees.
The list above nails just about everything, except Sociology and them wanna-be-scientists: the geographers (half of them interview lesbian black sheep).
to Anoxeric Ginger and Justine:
You two must be the most moronic people on the face of the planet. Do you even know any social workers or spent time talking to them about what they do? My mom has a Masters Degree in Social Work and now works for the military helping soldiers in Iraq! Can you honestly tell me that isn't important work? It takes intelligent, selfless and courageous people to do what she does. You guys need to get your head or from under a rock and think about things before you display your stupidity for the entire world to read. But obviously you are to ignorant to care!
Personally I believe that the goal of college (and life for that matter) should not be to get a "useful" degree and go into the corporate world like everyone else. College is about having fun and finding something you are interested in. I would say only about 1% of film students think that they are going to become the next Spielberg. You're right, no one cares about that shitty film they made, but for them, it was fun and interesting and a good experience.
What's more useless than any of these degrees is sitting and bitching (yes...I'm talking about YOUR bitching, not the bitching of the responses...I think you are quite whiny) about useless degrees. Not everything has to be about money, getting money, getting a job, or anything like that. there are plenty of people who do just fine just doing what they love. PLUS, you seem to forget about the thousands and thousands of job opportunities there are out there other than jobs in the corporate world, and jobs like that are always thriving.
I don't know, it seems to me crazy specific degrees are the only ones that will get you anywhere. My mom majored in English and History and has never worked a job relating to either. Never. So, imo those are a little useless unless you want to be a teacher--but even then you have to also get your teaching degree.
Anyways, I thought the article was funny. Everyone who's freaking out over it needs to relax. It's just a piece of humor writing, not a guide to being successful.
I wouldn't disagree that these majors don't normally entail easy paths into lucrative, bland, uninteresting corporate positions; but did anyone stop to consider that someone might like to major in art history, philosophy, or dance because they happen to be good at those things and really enjoy them? I guess what I'm saying is that, if happiness for you means lots of money and a nondescript job pretty much like everyone else's, then none of these majors are for you. But I'm guessing that kind of life wouldn't really make the author of this post happy . . . hence the crass cynicism.
I have to agree with Perry and disagree with Anorexic Ginger. I just graduated with my Master's Degree in Social Work. I have a job with the County starting in two weeks. I have no student loans because the government paid for my graduate education. I will not be making $24,000 a year, more like starting off around $55,000 and within five years easily working up to around $80-90,000. But what I think most of you are missing is that it is NOT about the money. The money is fine, but it's about the people. If any of you grew up in a home where there was abuse, or you grew up in foster care, or one of your parents struggled with a drug addiction, you might begin to understand what it is we do. Social Work is such a broad field, you will NEVER have trouble finding a job. Social Workers are trained so extensively that they are able to work in hospitals, schools, mental health clinics, private practices, county agencies, non-profit companies, international businesses, in private homes, and many other locations. I loved the the blog on the most worthless college degrees, but have to say that I believe your degree is what you make of it. And unfortunately, many of the comments made above are made out of ignorance. If you don't know what a particular career entails, don't bash it. Do what makes your soul sing, for what you have compassion and passion, and you won't be disappointed.
i'm a dance major. you can make a living teaching dance and performing in small companies. by small companies i don't mean strip clubs. way to be stereotypical with the stripper thing.
I read an economist's piece about average salaries for different majors without graduate school(which changes everything). Political Science majors actually make a bit more than business majors, which are exactly average. Economics majors make craploads. Psychology majors and English majors are at the bottom. Engineers and Computer Science majors do make the most. Surprisingly, Science majors outside engineering don't make much at all, without a master's. Even if your in a 'useful' degree, being well-rounded is still important. That's why its a shame people blow off their core requirements. Revamped Core curriculum is needed, so people can do anything, as well as something specific.
I don't know where you get your information, but communications studies is far from worthless, and it is one of the majors employers look for in marketing, PR, broadcasting, journalism and much more. Oh, and the jobs they look for a Ph.D. in are mostly in the education field.
You've got to send me a link to more of your writing. It has been a LONG LONG time since I laughed as hard as I did after reading this. I was bent over my desk belly laughing. My god this is funny stuff. Great job, and please keep up the great work.
I love how Yale doesn't offer a degree in education because 90 years ago someone deemed it entirely too "vocational". However, they have a fucking Institute of Sacred Music. Seriously, I bet that not even the ISM would hire you with a ISM degree.
#9. Philosophy, always gets me. I have a few friends that dropped out of the business college to persue this degree. I’d rather pay for my kid to go to bartending school
Billy Jean, you might know how to spell better had you had studied a little philosophy instead of mixology.
#9. Philosophy, always gets me. I have a few friends that dropped out of the business college to persue this degree. I’d rather pay for my kid to go to bartending school
Billy Jean, you might know how to spell better had you had studied a little philosophy instead of mixology.
English isn't that bad a major, it's actually recommended for people going into law school over criminal studies. Still I suppose if you don't do anything besides the English degree alone it is rather useless. Though you can still get a job as a technical writer or a journalist, though you'll be second choice to those who took the right majors.
The majority of college majors are largely useless, just like Trig or PE in High School. It's just part of the game. I'd rather have read the "10 Most Worthwhile Majors". Which majors have the highest satisfaction and financially secure ratings for people 10 or 20 years out of school? That would be a good article, if not as entertaining.
I'm happy to see mine major not on the list, but I find my debate and statistics classes the most useful in everyday life--neither of which were part of my major.
Also, the Bible wasn't written in Latin.
Wow, my major wasn't on here for once (theatre). At least my university is a little smarter and demands that if you're going to major in something useless (theatre, comm, music, etc) you have to major/minor in something else so you have something to fall back on when your dreams inevitably fail.
Does school always have to lead to a job? I didn't go to college to get into a career. I went to learn something about a field I was interested in. If all you want is a job that pays, go to a tech school. I went to college to discover new things and enjoy myself. So what if a major is "useless" for getting a job. Wouldn't the time spent in college improving one's mind and self be of some value? Or is knowledge only valuable when there is a dollar amount attached to it?
I agree with most of the list. I have a degree in History and have never used it. I do have a masters in social work and Ms. Anorexic Ginger I make 85,000 a year so maybe you should do some more reseach
There are no useless degrees from schools that are authorize to award them. There are only people who don't learn to think with what they have earned. Any degree teaches you to think in a particular way about the world and that is useful knowledge. A degree also teaches you that the assumptions you make about the world and its people are to be questioned always.
#3 should definitely be a "classics" degree rather than just "Latin" as that degree encompasses both Greek and Latin - the languages, the literature, the history, etc.
But because I definitely don't want to end up as a Latin teacher, I'm double-majoring in Classics and Kinesiology. The Classics degree will just be something to brag about.
I'm with you HCS. I knew my smarts would get me through life, but going to college gave me a deep and wonderful experience to carry me through life. I am 50 now and I have not regretted getting my Philosophy degree one minute.
I'm a English Major with a focus in Creative Writing, minoring in history. I do this for two reasons: 1) I love writing (can't imagine doing anything else, really.) 2) I've always been fascinated by history. I am aware that you can't do much with these majors outside of teaching. But, to be honest, I do want to be a writer. If I have to work a 30K job out of college to support my lifestyle which may or may not consist of an apartment with a potential spouse or plain and simple roommate in a job that's not exactly what I pictured for myself, then so be it. All you really need to get a job out of college is good interviewing skills and the degree. Most employers don't care what's written on the degree. They just care that you have it. I don't mind going into business or advertising, management for a super market or just being a teacher.
Another thing... lighten up, people. So what if a few people think your major is worthless? If you know what you are going to do with it and are confident that you will succeed, then what's the problem?
My philosophy degree has parlayed itself into a $150K a year salary. Say what you want about it, but having a solid foundation in logic, paired with the ability read and write coherently, and you end up with a skill set desperately missing in the marketplace.
The comedy writers doing lame top ten lists for Mr. Letterman do pretty well. Of course there aren't many of them... Also @Boner just above, bet you would have done well regardless of degree; philosophy was because you could, and taught you nothing important you did not know innately; it gave you no skills you did not already have. Ooh a double double negative.
While I do agree that Religion is a pretty useless degree unless you plan to be a preacher, or a religion professor in college, your picture is misleading. The picture shows Mormon missionaries. Mormon missionaries are not religion majors, they are young men and women who voluntarily give up 2 years of their lives, usually on their own dime, to proselyte.
In my experience, religion majors usually start those churches that you find in shopping centers or failed retail stores. Most fail in a few years, where they will go back and get a masters degree in religion and try again.
Oh yeah! For once in my life I am number 1! I'm a Religious Studies major, or was before I went and got a Masters in Education, and now slave away teaching history in a public high school. What most people don't realize about Religious Studies programs is that its less like a single field of study and more like a survey of anthropology, sociology, history, comparative literature, and philosophy. Its basically interdisciplinary studies with a focus on religion.
Anyways, I learned a lot from it, but if I could go back, yeah, I'd get a degree in bus-econ or something lucrative, because let's face it, teaching high school is punishment not a career. =)
:) I have a lit degree and as someone mentioned above, a TAFE (Aussie version of Community College) degree in Music Buisiness. The statistic in Australia is any of the Arts have a 4% placement in related careers.
So... I worked in Music Business for 7 years before getting my lit degree and now work as a paid writer. I guess I am a statistical anomoly - but - I totally agree that they are both completely useless areas of study because if I hadn't told the employers that I had them, they wouldn't have asked, and I still would have had the same jobs :) Luckily, the music biz one was free and the lit one cost a whole 13,000 dollars (paid off $1410 so far).
COmmunications/Film degree. Most folks will indeed become Production Assistants
until they move up and join a crafts guild (carpenter. set painter , property,wardrobe, art department,camera ) earn between 60 - 70K per year
working their asses off with weird hours (6am call!) but hey -didja think you would
be hanging with Steven Spielburg or Joel and Ethan Coen? Then some guild will strike for 100 days (Writer's Guild ) thus costing you between 6-8K per month- then they accept the almost identical contract offered by Motion Picture Producers back in nov 07. Now Screen Actors Guild may strike . Welcome to the Circus!
I don't think anyone give a shit about your degree in the film business-unless you went to USC and made valuable contacts for use later! The Film business is really a crap shoot but hey almost 20 years later it's still fun!
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June 16th, 2008 at 11:00 am
What about African American studies... at a black college!
June 16th, 2008 at 02:08 pm
I didn't do any of the majors you talk about but you are sadly misguided my friend. It shows a real lack of knowledge about some of these areas and more than a pinch of well......being stuck up your own a$$. I work for a communications company, we employ people with communications degrees all the time. Its not about deciphering human language its about understanding emerging technologies and employing them. technologuies such as MMS,SMS,3G, Voice broadcasting and many more.
I also looked into music therapy which -by the way- elicits the best responses in children with autism and downs syndrome.
you're just sore because you probably feel your degree should be 'worth' more
June 17th, 2008 at 07:02 am
wow, you don't even know what communications majors end up doing, how valued philosophy degrees have been over the past few years by all sorts of companies across the board, what options literature majors have, etc.
maybe you should try getting one of the aforementioned degrees sometime, maybe you'd learn something.
June 17th, 2008 at 03:43 pm
Though this is an amusing list, I have to say, the thing about philosophy, not actually true. I'll admit that it can be hard to find the right niche right away out of college, but many companies actually do employ philosophers under other titles: consultant, advisor, etc. THey need people who have learned how to think, and many ppl who get degrees in business or the like are taught methods but not to think. To prove the point more so, philosophy majors score higher on the LSATs than any other major, and many law school attendees are previous philosophy majors, because of the ability to synthesize info and arrive at new conclusions.
Also, many in the film world will not take you seriously if you HAVEN'T attended film school. They want to know you're serious, and don't need tons of extra training.
Just sayin.
June 17th, 2008 at 06:08 pm
Let me just start by saying that I love stumbleupon. I also love reading all the responses from the toolbags that feel their opinion is worth something. If it was worth anything, I'd have to pay to read it. I don't. Shut up.
The sheer number of responses about how "untrue" this is is directly proportional to how close to the mark the article was, hence why you immediately scrolled to the bottom to add your carefully worded retort. If your job actually meant anything to the company for which you work, you'd be doing it right now instead of surfing the internet. But, alas, you don't mean much and a robot will most likely replace you in the next decade. Congrats on your major!
June 18th, 2008 at 01:58 am
In response to Dave-O, these are comments from people who are passionate about their jobs and enjoy doing what they do. If you have time to stumbleupon all day long, odds are that you are some 30 something that still lives with your parents who has never taken the time to consider higher education. If you had then mabey you would have something to stand up for too.
June 18th, 2008 at 02:43 am
you cannot tell me that music therapy is a worthless major. do you know how many people its helped? do your research before you bash something.
June 18th, 2008 at 02:11 pm
@Me: No, I just have a schedule that allows me time off during the week, but thanks for playing. This isn't about standing up or sitting down for anything. It's a joke article, meant to poke fun at some of the more ridiculous fields of study. More importantly, it's someone's opinion. Your problem is that you're so tightly wound, you cannot even see humor in a joke. The sad part about the internet is that it affords people like you the opportunity to ruin a good time by injecting a matter-of-fact statement right behind a punchline. You're the human equivalent of an accidental pregnancy of a girl you met at a party. Thanks for your "input".
June 18th, 2008 at 04:46 pm
Ok, I understand the misconceptions about obtaining a major in Philosophy, but whoever wrote this should really study up on their shit...Philosophy majors are one of the most popular majors for law school students who transfer from a four year...so eat it. By the way, I'm an English major, now there's something you can't do shit with, and I smoke a crapload of weed.
June 18th, 2008 at 05:30 pm
Re. most worthless college majors:
It has been about 8 years since I earned a Masters Degree in Transformative Art from John F. Kennedy University in California and I am currently a Transit Bus Driver with a big fat student loan. Of course I should have known better but the guy in charge of that department really had a great sales pitch and seemed to really know what my hopes and dreams were back when I was 9 years into a printing plant job and broke two fingers and had some time off to re-think my life, etc.. When I asked him about the jobs I'd be qualified for with that degree he told me that I'd be qualified to teach and be a college professor and that it was a fine and substantial Masters Degree, etc. When I was finally finished, and about $38,000 later, he told me, literally, that I could go sell used cars. He had an entirely different story then about my needing to go out and get the equivalent of an entire other program along with teaching experience to be really qualified to teach at a college and that only MFAs, not MAs, taught Art, etc., etc.
Yeah, yeah I know I was a dope, but I've always been a trusting sort and I really felt like I was doing something that would change my life and career and lead to success, money, and a great retirement, etc., etc.
Buyer beware should be written across the doors of these alternative degree program offices I think. And of course people should really check around and get things in writing and really do their homework.
June 18th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
The only degrees worth doing are Natural Science (Psychology is a social science) and Engineering degrees.
The list above nails just about everything, except Sociology and them wanna-be-scientists: the geographers (half of them interview lesbian black sheep).
Latin is kinda useful... To a Palaeontologist!
June 19th, 2008 at 02:30 am
to Anoxeric Ginger and Justine:
You two must be the most moronic people on the face of the planet. Do you even know any social workers or spent time talking to them about what they do? My mom has a Masters Degree in Social Work and now works for the military helping soldiers in Iraq! Can you honestly tell me that isn't important work? It takes intelligent, selfless and courageous people to do what she does. You guys need to get your head or from under a rock and think about things before you display your stupidity for the entire world to read. But obviously you are to ignorant to care!
June 19th, 2008 at 03:12 am
Personally I believe that the goal of college (and life for that matter) should not be to get a "useful" degree and go into the corporate world like everyone else. College is about having fun and finding something you are interested in. I would say only about 1% of film students think that they are going to become the next Spielberg. You're right, no one cares about that shitty film they made, but for them, it was fun and interesting and a good experience.
What's more useless than any of these degrees is sitting and bitching (yes...I'm talking about YOUR bitching, not the bitching of the responses...I think you are quite whiny) about useless degrees. Not everything has to be about money, getting money, getting a job, or anything like that. there are plenty of people who do just fine just doing what they love. PLUS, you seem to forget about the thousands and thousands of job opportunities there are out there other than jobs in the corporate world, and jobs like that are always thriving.
June 19th, 2008 at 08:53 pm
I don't know, it seems to me crazy specific degrees are the only ones that will get you anywhere. My mom majored in English and History and has never worked a job relating to either. Never. So, imo those are a little useless unless you want to be a teacher--but even then you have to also get your teaching degree.
Anyways, I thought the article was funny. Everyone who's freaking out over it needs to relax. It's just a piece of humor writing, not a guide to being successful.
June 19th, 2008 at 09:51 pm
I wouldn't disagree that these majors don't normally entail easy paths into lucrative, bland, uninteresting corporate positions; but did anyone stop to consider that someone might like to major in art history, philosophy, or dance because they happen to be good at those things and really enjoy them? I guess what I'm saying is that, if happiness for you means lots of money and a nondescript job pretty much like everyone else's, then none of these majors are for you. But I'm guessing that kind of life wouldn't really make the author of this post happy . . . hence the crass cynicism.
June 20th, 2008 at 03:27 pm
I have to agree with Perry and disagree with Anorexic Ginger. I just graduated with my Master's Degree in Social Work. I have a job with the County starting in two weeks. I have no student loans because the government paid for my graduate education. I will not be making $24,000 a year, more like starting off around $55,000 and within five years easily working up to around $80-90,000. But what I think most of you are missing is that it is NOT about the money. The money is fine, but it's about the people. If any of you grew up in a home where there was abuse, or you grew up in foster care, or one of your parents struggled with a drug addiction, you might begin to understand what it is we do. Social Work is such a broad field, you will NEVER have trouble finding a job. Social Workers are trained so extensively that they are able to work in hospitals, schools, mental health clinics, private practices, county agencies, non-profit companies, international businesses, in private homes, and many other locations. I loved the the blog on the most worthless college degrees, but have to say that I believe your degree is what you make of it. And unfortunately, many of the comments made above are made out of ignorance. If you don't know what a particular career entails, don't bash it. Do what makes your soul sing, for what you have compassion and passion, and you won't be disappointed.
June 21st, 2008 at 10:58 pm
i'm a dance major. you can make a living teaching dance and performing in small companies. by small companies i don't mean strip clubs. way to be stereotypical with the stripper thing.
June 22nd, 2008 at 03:27 pm
I read an economist's piece about average salaries for different majors without graduate school(which changes everything). Political Science majors actually make a bit more than business majors, which are exactly average. Economics majors make craploads. Psychology majors and English majors are at the bottom. Engineers and Computer Science majors do make the most. Surprisingly, Science majors outside engineering don't make much at all, without a master's. Even if your in a 'useful' degree, being well-rounded is still important. That's why its a shame people blow off their core requirements. Revamped Core curriculum is needed, so people can do anything, as well as something specific.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:20 am
You left off Gender Studies for a fulltime career in being a bitter lesbian or post-gay bore.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
I don't know where you get your information, but communications studies is far from worthless, and it is one of the majors employers look for in marketing, PR, broadcasting, journalism and much more. Oh, and the jobs they look for a Ph.D. in are mostly in the education field.
June 26th, 2008 at 04:52 pm
You've got to send me a link to more of your writing. It has been a LONG LONG time since I laughed as hard as I did after reading this. I was bent over my desk belly laughing. My god this is funny stuff. Great job, and please keep up the great work.
June 29th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Funny blog........can you do a top ten of the 10 most valuable college degrees????
June 29th, 2008 at 01:51 am
In all fairness I forgot to mention I did not agree with #1 being funny, I must have skipped that one and didn't read it....... sorry
June 29th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I love how Yale doesn't offer a degree in education because 90 years ago someone deemed it entirely too "vocational". However, they have a fucking Institute of Sacred Music. Seriously, I bet that not even the ISM would hire you with a ISM degree.
June 29th, 2008 at 06:27 pm
# Billy Jean Says:
June 4th, 2008 at 6:52 am
#9. Philosophy, always gets me. I have a few friends that dropped out of the business college to persue this degree. I’d rather pay for my kid to go to bartending school
Billy Jean, you might know how to spell better had you had studied a little philosophy instead of mixology.
June 29th, 2008 at 06:27 pm
# Billy Jean Says:
June 4th, 2008 at 6:52 am
#9. Philosophy, always gets me. I have a few friends that dropped out of the business college to persue this degree. I’d rather pay for my kid to go to bartending school
Billy Jean, you might know how to spell better had you had studied a little philosophy instead of mixology.
June 29th, 2008 at 06:44 pm
English isn't that bad a major, it's actually recommended for people going into law school over criminal studies. Still I suppose if you don't do anything besides the English degree alone it is rather useless. Though you can still get a job as a technical writer or a journalist, though you'll be second choice to those who took the right majors.
June 29th, 2008 at 09:21 pm
The majority of college majors are largely useless, just like Trig or PE in High School. It's just part of the game. I'd rather have read the "10 Most Worthwhile Majors". Which majors have the highest satisfaction and financially secure ratings for people 10 or 20 years out of school? That would be a good article, if not as entertaining.
I'm happy to see mine major not on the list, but I find my debate and statistics classes the most useful in everyday life--neither of which were part of my major.
Also, the Bible wasn't written in Latin.
June 30th, 2008 at 03:49 am
Wow, my major wasn't on here for once (theatre). At least my university is a little smarter and demands that if you're going to major in something useless (theatre, comm, music, etc) you have to major/minor in something else so you have something to fall back on when your dreams inevitably fail.
June 30th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Does school always have to lead to a job? I didn't go to college to get into a career. I went to learn something about a field I was interested in. If all you want is a job that pays, go to a tech school. I went to college to discover new things and enjoy myself. So what if a major is "useless" for getting a job. Wouldn't the time spent in college improving one's mind and self be of some value? Or is knowledge only valuable when there is a dollar amount attached to it?
June 30th, 2008 at 02:16 pm
i have a photography degree. very much pointless.
June 30th, 2008 at 03:38 pm
I agree with most of the list. I have a degree in History and have never used it. I do have a masters in social work and Ms. Anorexic Ginger I make 85,000 a year so maybe you should do some more reseach
June 30th, 2008 at 03:43 pm
Queueueueueueue...the bitching.
June 30th, 2008 at 05:17 pm
Wow. Your life is probably boring. Too bad for you.
June 30th, 2008 at 07:56 pm
I have a degree in Science & Science Fiction. Now THAT'S useless!!!
June 30th, 2008 at 09:38 pm
There are no useless degrees from schools that are authorize to award them. There are only people who don't learn to think with what they have earned. Any degree teaches you to think in a particular way about the world and that is useful knowledge. A degree also teaches you that the assumptions you make about the world and its people are to be questioned always.
June 30th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
What ever happened to going to college to learn?
July 1st, 2008 at 12:24 am
#3 should definitely be a "classics" degree rather than just "Latin" as that degree encompasses both Greek and Latin - the languages, the literature, the history, etc.
But because I definitely don't want to end up as a Latin teacher, I'm double-majoring in Classics and Kinesiology. The Classics degree will just be something to brag about.
Hook 'em!
July 1st, 2008 at 01:07 am
So me getting a BA in International relations makes the grade. Sweet.
July 1st, 2008 at 01:09 am
Wow, you can major in religion? What is that about? Do you have to know about all religions or do you specialize?
July 1st, 2008 at 03:56 am
I'm with you HCS. I knew my smarts would get me through life, but going to college gave me a deep and wonderful experience to carry me through life. I am 50 now and I have not regretted getting my Philosophy degree one minute.
July 1st, 2008 at 04:01 am
I'm a English Major with a focus in Creative Writing, minoring in history. I do this for two reasons: 1) I love writing (can't imagine doing anything else, really.) 2) I've always been fascinated by history. I am aware that you can't do much with these majors outside of teaching. But, to be honest, I do want to be a writer. If I have to work a 30K job out of college to support my lifestyle which may or may not consist of an apartment with a potential spouse or plain and simple roommate in a job that's not exactly what I pictured for myself, then so be it. All you really need to get a job out of college is good interviewing skills and the degree. Most employers don't care what's written on the degree. They just care that you have it. I don't mind going into business or advertising, management for a super market or just being a teacher.
Another thing... lighten up, people. So what if a few people think your major is worthless? If you know what you are going to do with it and are confident that you will succeed, then what's the problem?
July 1st, 2008 at 09:53 am
There are no wasted degrees if the people learning are smart(asses).
July 1st, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Haha, this list has made a lot of people from these majors angry!
It is called HUMOR!
But don't waste your time arguing with me because I cannot properly argue, being I have a BS in Geology instead of Philosophy...oops!
July 1st, 2008 at 01:07 pm
My philosophy degree has parlayed itself into a $150K a year salary. Say what you want about it, but having a solid foundation in logic, paired with the ability read and write coherently, and you end up with a skill set desperately missing in the marketplace.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:00 am
The comedy writers doing lame top ten lists for Mr. Letterman do pretty well. Of course there aren't many of them... Also @Boner just above, bet you would have done well regardless of degree; philosophy was because you could, and taught you nothing important you did not know innately; it gave you no skills you did not already have. Ooh a double double negative.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:58 am
While I do agree that Religion is a pretty useless degree unless you plan to be a preacher, or a religion professor in college, your picture is misleading. The picture shows Mormon missionaries. Mormon missionaries are not religion majors, they are young men and women who voluntarily give up 2 years of their lives, usually on their own dime, to proselyte.
In my experience, religion majors usually start those churches that you find in shopping centers or failed retail stores. Most fail in a few years, where they will go back and get a masters degree in religion and try again.
July 4th, 2008 at 12:30 am
Oh yeah! For once in my life I am number 1! I'm a Religious Studies major, or was before I went and got a Masters in Education, and now slave away teaching history in a public high school. What most people don't realize about Religious Studies programs is that its less like a single field of study and more like a survey of anthropology, sociology, history, comparative literature, and philosophy. Its basically interdisciplinary studies with a focus on religion.
Anyways, I learned a lot from it, but if I could go back, yeah, I'd get a degree in bus-econ or something lucrative, because let's face it, teaching high school is punishment not a career. =)
July 4th, 2008 at 07:25 am
:) I have a lit degree and as someone mentioned above, a TAFE (Aussie version of Community College) degree in Music Buisiness. The statistic in Australia is any of the Arts have a 4% placement in related careers.
So... I worked in Music Business for 7 years before getting my lit degree and now work as a paid writer. I guess I am a statistical anomoly - but - I totally agree that they are both completely useless areas of study because if I hadn't told the employers that I had them, they wouldn't have asked, and I still would have had the same jobs :) Luckily, the music biz one was free and the lit one cost a whole 13,000 dollars (paid off $1410 so far).
July 4th, 2008 at 01:13 pm
COmmunications/Film degree. Most folks will indeed become Production Assistants
until they move up and join a crafts guild (carpenter. set painter , property,wardrobe, art department,camera ) earn between 60 - 70K per year
working their asses off with weird hours (6am call!) but hey -didja think you would
be hanging with Steven Spielburg or Joel and Ethan Coen? Then some guild will strike for 100 days (Writer's Guild ) thus costing you between 6-8K per month- then they accept the almost identical contract offered by Motion Picture Producers back in nov 07. Now Screen Actors Guild may strike . Welcome to the Circus!
I don't think anyone give a shit about your degree in the film business-unless you went to USC and made valuable contacts for use later! The Film business is really a crap shoot but hey almost 20 years later it's still fun!
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