College is a great place to learn and have fun. But let’s not kid ourselves, some degrees are as useless as the plot in a Michael Bay film. Here’s a list of 10 degrees that may be interesting, but do jack shit for you in the real world.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: With an art history degree you could maybe curate an art gallery or work at a museum or….yeah, that’s it. That’s all you can do. And seeing as how every art gallery and museum I’ve ever been to has exactly one dude sitting quietly at a desk reading a New Yorker and eating a food that requires chopsticks, I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s not a lot of positions open in the field. That means you’re going to have to venture out into the corporate world. And let me inform you, when you’re interviewing with Bob from the HR team at Wal-Mart who’s wearing a tie that has the twin towers smoking with writing underneath that says “We Will Never Forget,” your art history degree says to him “I’m a commie a-hole who thinks I’m better than guys with 9/11 ties.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: After your parents boot your ass from your bedroom to make room for anything that’s not your bedroom, you’ll wander towards the nearest coffee shop and get a job there, which will allow you to meet artists who will thank you for allowing them to put fliers by the cash register that inform people of their upcoming show that touts “the combination of art and flute.”
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.
What Job You’ll End Up With: Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.
Why It Won't Help You Get a Job: If you're not named Achmed or Bjork or G'Day Mate this isn't a degree, it's the last 18 years of your life. If you really want to study us you don't need to go to some stupid class, you need only to sit back and watch a two-hour block of Must-See TV to understand The American. After doing my own research, it seems that this mysterious creature is a pot-bellied humanoid with a hot wife and bad credit who has a penchant for low-calorie beer, Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays, Denny's, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Dave and Busters, Steak and Shake, Chilis (again) and Red Lobster. Oh and he can totally demolish a White Castle Crave Case in, like, 20 seconds. OK, now give me my degree.
What Job You’ll End Up With: To take your American Studies degree one step further, you will be qualified to do 40-50 years of “graduate work” cleaning tables and taking orders at a Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays or Red Lobster. Or possibly Denny’s.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: I didn’t even know this was a major until I found it on the Appalachian State website. According to their actual explanation of this major: “Music therapy is the scientific application of the art of music within a therapeutic relationship to meet the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of individuals.” Which is a big, fancy way of saying “We’ll teach you how to make a mix tape.” I guess I, too, am a qualified music therapist because my “Summer Jams ‘95” tape I made in the 10th grade totally rocked my house party. All my friends told me that kicking it off with Wreckz-N-Effects “Rump Shaker” followed by Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” totally met their physical, mental and spiritual needs to help them get wasted on my dad’s Schnapps and Drambuie.
What Job You’ll End Up With: After realizing that yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay people just to come in and set mood music, you’re sadly going to end up putting your degree towards burning a fire to keep warm because you are homeless.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Despite what “Dancing with the Stars” and “High School Musical” may tell you, there aren’t a lot of dancing jobs out there—so you better be good because there aren’t any gigs for mediocre dancers. Outside of New York City or some crap in LA there is absolutely nothing you can do with a dance degree that doesn’t involve actually dancing for money. And since the Des Moines interpretive dance movement hasn’t really taken off yet, you have a better chance landing a job as an 8-Track repairman or a member of the Beatles.
What Job You’ll End Up With: After moving to New York and trying out for Hello Dolly! or Damn Yankees or any of the other seven Broadway plays that want dancers and not landing a single one because you got your dance degree from Ball State, you will find ample opportunity to show off your choreographic skills at one of the city’s many strip clubs. You’ll just need to change your name to Crystal or Bambi and you’ll be able finally live out your dream as a dancer. (Mom and Dad will be so proud!)
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: If someone can spend a weekend with a box of Cliff’s Notes and have only a slightly less conversational knowledge of what you spent 4 years studying, you probably don’t have the most employer friendly degree. Having an English Lit degree is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: No one cares and the best you can hope for is every once in a while someone buys you a beer because of it.
What Job You’ll End Up With: You can read and comprehend, so that gives you an advantage over 99.5% of the people that peruse Craig’s list job listings. Therefore, you’ll most likely end up landing an entry level position at a random small company, or showing up to your interview and being raped repeatedly by a group of masked men.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Not only does no one speak this language anymore, but we already have all the Latin that exists in the world. There’s no new Latin that’s hot off the presses that needs immediate translating. I’m no business major, but majoring in a language that doesn’t exist anymore doesn’t sound so good for job security. And I’m sorry to break the news to you, but the world doesn’t need someone to translate The Bible or the inscription on the side of a Post Office or El Loco Latino’s “Latin House Party.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: Since you majored in something that doesn’t exist, you’re going to have two jobs. Your first one will be as the annoying pretentious guy who gives everyone the Latin etymology of every big word he hears at every dinner party he attends. Your second, and most lucrative job, will be as a Subway Sandwich Artist.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: No one in hollywood gives a shit that you made a short film about an alcoholic albino that discovers the meaning of life through the help of a retarded child. Unless that retarded child was played by the son of Harvey Weinstein, your film or degree will be as pointless as the last three seasons of Lost
What Job You’ll End Up With: If you’re lucky, you’ll have an uncle who can get you a job as a production assistant on CSI Miami, where your time will be spent making coffee runs and finding whores that will let David Caruso pee on them.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Sorry God, but a major in Religion is about as worthless as St. Brice (The Patron Saint of Stomach Aches.) Even Duke University can’t put a solid sell on this degree: “A major in religion offers intellectual excitement and can be a pathway to a liberal education.” OK, you sold me. So now I get to shell out about a hundred thousand dollars so I can know what to wear to a Shinto ceremony and learn how many virgins Allah will give me if I blow myself up in an Israeli square? If it’s OK with you, I’ll keep my money and stick to my sinning-a-lot-now-and-repenting-on-my-deathbed plan.
What Job You’ll End Up With: This one is tricky. On one hand you’ll probably end up working behind the desk of a Christian Science Reading Room. But on the other, you may end up with everlasting peace and spiritual enlightenment. Let’s call it a draw.
My BA in Sociology provided me with the unique ability and insight to be aware of just how much my proletariat ass suffers at their hands on the daily...and yes, I am being sarcastic...just a little bit.
I don't understand people who pick a career based on how much money it will make them.
Art history isn't a useless degree if that's what you want to do with your life. I want to work in an art museum. So art history is far from useless in my case. I'm also realistic about the fact that I'll need to go into graduate studies and museum studies to get the job I really want. But I knew that from the start. I just don't get people who study random things without a real goal or without knowing what it will take to reach it, then bitch about not having a job and having to work at Starbucks.
By the way, working in a museum is a great career. It allows you to work in a culturally rich setting and to work somewhere that serves a community. It's a truly international field and it's full of possibilities. The job placement rate (in our field of study) for my museum studies program is over 90%. And a museum definitely has more than just "one guy sitting at a desk reading the New Yorker". Smaller museums may have a dozen or so employees, larger ones can have a few hundred. There are directors, curators, registrars, exhibition planners, conservators, department of education jobs, archivists, the list goes on.
It may not make you rich, but it's definitely a great field.
And, if it's not for you, your art history degree cand lead to work in art galleries, auction houses, curator for a corporate art collection, teaching, art citic/writing for art publications/books. You can even become a private consultant for the very rich people who want to know what they should buy for their private art collections.
So, if you love art, go for it, and with some perseverence, you should be able to find a great job.
Man you hit this one on the head. I tell people every day to make every second of college count and they always come back with lame excuses of following your dreams. What aload of cr*p.
Like the avg undergrad can even follow a syllabus much less follow their dreams or know what there dream is. Ask the local chick at Starbucks majoring in Eng. lit. She doesnt know squat about even eng. lit.
But you have to make the most of undergraduate studies.
Additional worthless majors:
1. African American Studies - haha wow so what can you do with this one besides chronicle years of injustice in America.
2. Womens Studies - Wow so you hate men? So how will you benefit our comapny if we hire you?
3. Psychology - Half the workers at Starbucks and Ikea have this one. My roomate had this and she looked as though she was suicidal last time she came home from a special ed assignment.
4. Classics - No one cares or even has heard of Plutarch or Polybius at work. They are to busy surfing porn and dating co workers. Not once did anyone ask me about anything related to the classics. And no one gives a shit about latin and greek word roots.
5. Sociology - Heres a good one for you all. I dont know any sociology majors and the University I went to gave them the crappiest building as well. This should tell you something.
6. ALtin American Studies -
7. LGBT Studies-
8. Asian Lit.
9. Chicano studies
10.Theatre
11. Ethnic studies
12. Native American Studies
13.World Studies
Go ahead. I add a few every college has a slew of these that you jsut know will get you into the unemployment line ASAP. Yay!
I completely agree. While I found this post very funny, I didn't necessarily find it very true. All of my friends who have graduated, despite their degrees, have had an extremely difficult time finding jobs. And they are all engineering, psychology, photography, and journalism majors. A major is useless unless the person who earns it is willing to work very hard to get what they want.
What I've found is that a lot of majors don't think outside the box. Philosophy isn't just about sitting and thinking all day, it can lead to a career in Law. And History/Poli Sci can lead to a career in leadership. And Social Work can lead to opening a children's home or women's shelter, like my mom did.
I'm an English Lit major and plan on working in a library, teaching different subjects of university level education, volunteering and working with environmentalist groups (studying ecocriticism)... I have absolutely no fears at finding a career within my areas of interest and I look forward to leading a fulfilling life on a decent salary doing something I'm passionate about.
/end speech
That all being said... still funny article. I definitely know stereotypes from all majors.
I'm a crim major at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, Canada.. and THAT is a major that is worthwhile!
it's pretty interesting and there will always be a need for people in the Criminal justice system.. there will always be criminals (as long as we have laws) so that there is a sense of job security. if my dream career doesn't pan out i can always be a cop.. that's my fallback :)
You have no fears because you havent tried finding a job in your field.
you havent even graduated yet. Wait until the summer of your senior year comes around and your forced to move back in with your parents. Employers are going to find it funny that you spent 4 yrs of your life studying English Lit. while you are trying to compete with thousands of other Phd English majors who will take your job as a librarian.
You need higher level education for your little job as a librarian at a University.
Listen. People need to major in areas that are in demand. Jsut dont say to yourself that "people need english lit majors and therefore I will find a job." This type of naivity will get you no where.
Society needs doctors, engineers, comp. porgrammars, agriculturalists, geologists, soldiers, scientists, linguists and chemists.
We have way too many Eng., Hist. and other type of majors. What we dont need is 10,000 more psych grads.
You will see asha when you graduate what the eng. lit will get you besides a one way ticket to teaching.
I like how everyone gets all offended by this. Its a blog that's trying to make a satire and getting all pissed off because of it is like some mother catching her son watching South Park and writing an angry letter. POINTLESS. There are going to be slacker dead beats and successful millionaires to come out of just about any sort of major. I don't care who you are and what you studied but if you can't sit back and laugh at yourself every once and awhile then I feel sorry for the people that have to be around you.
An Associate in Arts Degree in Automotive Technology - an AA degree for wannabe future grease monkeys! So retarded! What a waste. I got one in 1993, and I wound up working at gas stations for 10 years! They hire bums and homeless people to work at gas stations - the same thing I went to Jr. College for 2 years!
What a useless degree. Not once did an employer ever even ask me to show it to them - much less put it on the wall anywhere. To think I borrowed $15,000 in student loans for that completely useless degree!
film is only a good degree if your family has enough money to buy you editing programs and a camera which then lands you an internship with espn. because espn still uses linear editing. ha.
Some majors on this list shouldn't be on there. You can be sucessful with basically any major. Just because you couldn't find a job and forked out so much money or didn't get paid a lot it doesn't mean that it is worthless. If you thought that you wasted your time studying for your major then maybe you shouldn't have gone to college period because you made the decision in what you studied. No one forced you into it. No one said it was going to be easy. So even if an employer never asked for your diploma you should just feel proud of yourself for having gone to school because it is something that not everyone can and want to do.
Music therapists in texas are being hired in 90% of the public school districts teamed with special education, and has become more accepted in the therapy world because it has helped so many people. do some research on what things actually are before you write smack about them.
I'm from the UK, and most employers will employ the best students at the best university, regardless of what degree they do.
I don't know if the case is the same in the US, but this list sounds like a load of shit to me. It's especially narrow minded, and seems to suggest that anyone that studies a subject will continue to do so forever.
In the UK 70% of postgraduate jobs aren't course specific, so anyone with a good degree gets a job. Is it not the case in America?
Gee, I don't know about religion, since I have a Masters degree and a Doctorate of Religious Studies. I made a living as a pastor in two different denominations and a drug abuse program administrator in another. Unless you're going specifically into a religious vocation, you're better to choose something else. However, a fellow I know is pastor over a large liberal church in Canada and he's making $150,000+ per year. In a pure religious studies program, the only way you can make it is to get a Ph.D. and hope for a job teaching in a college or university setting.
Why, you are dead right on philosophy. I quote: "Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable." So that leaves the ones which do not. I found one I am happy with, I teach philosophy and let me assure you it is not about the seduction of young males in ancient Hellas or (Boötia) Sparta (come to that even the Athenians would refrain from their practice). It really is quite a good subject to take up if you want to learn which jobs you do not want to do. By the way, Albert Schweitzer did take courses in philosophy but foremost he was a physician.
While what you say is very true in most cases, it is ultimately about a persons ambitions. what makes them happy, and to find some fulfillment in career. Being educated is all about dispersing the knowledge to others . then youll be fulfilled. a little. NOW QUE THE BITCHING!
Do your research first, you have absolutely no idea what music therapy is about. Its not teaching you how to play background music for the OAPs but is about helping people, particularly with mental conditions through participation in music.
I've seen footage of people who were so shut off from the world that they couldnt even walk actually dancing around a room.
I'm so sick of everyone who feels the need to assert that college is worthless, because they failed out or because they picked a major which was not in line with their interests. No, a college degree isn't necessary to make bank in the corporate world, and I know this might be hard for some people to grasp, but there are a hell of a lot of well-paying jobs that DON'T involve working your way up to CEO from a cubicle, and that you'd have a damn hard time teaching yourself. Bio, Engineering, Biochemistry, and LAW to name a few. I would love for someone to show me the statistics of unemployed lawyers vs. people who hold degree's from this list. Now get back to flipping burgers, and while I'm enjoying a career in epidemiology that I both enjoy and make an avg. starting salary of 70k a year in, I'll be sure to give you a tip.
Predictably enough, there was a plethora of drama queens bitching about how awesome their degrees in the aforementioned categories are... I personally don't think there is such a thing as a worthless degree, I mean they have to be good for *something*. But it's a funny list, people.
Film isn't all that useless actually, and there are a lot more jobs out there than you think(although if you take film at a University, you're kinda fucked, you need to go to an art school). Film/Video and Animation are actually pretty big jobs. A lot of them might be tied to advertisements and commercials though...
less than 50% of jobs requiring a degree ask for a specific degree so you can basically do anything if you have a degree, you don't have to work in the area yu've got your degree.
If were looking at things purely from an employment point of view then I agree with most of this list, apart from Religion. Religion is actually one of the most useful degrees you can study for as you develop a lot of skills employers look for. Uni isn't supposed to be about getting a job, its about furthering your education and studying something in depth. Its supposed to be about self fulfillment, not future employment.
I am an Aerospace Engineer/ Physicist... and I simply could not just let this article go without comment. My major will always exist, even if the world ends in war (assuming anyone survives, the idea to rebuild and redesign shall always remain), and the physics is generally frowned upon as being "an evil major". You'd be shocked to see how many "entry" level jobs for either field pay far more than 75,000 a year at respectful companies (Lockheed Martin, Boeing, SpaceX). However, in the course of my studies, and wandering out and about my fine campus, I have come across the most pointless majors:
1) Business: "CEO 'wannabes' who simply think that accounting is enough math for anyone. Generally gets trashed every weekend, never studies.
2) Communications: Good work, you can type up a news article, though anyone with fingers and a keyboard can do the same without a liberal spin.
3) Music Majors: Unless you're a musical artist, nobody truly cares, or will care to pay, about you knowing the Great Composer's down to their favorite colors.
4) Psych, English, Art: These liberals are found mostly studying in the grass around campus, or sunning topless. The only thing they do remotely useful is teh last.
5) Fashion Majors: You people amuse me; math dodging, english course fearing, Kinesiology avoiding liberals who put up ungodly colors on cardboard cut outs to mimic clothes.
6) Kinesiology Majors: Perfect for Coaches, or sex offenders.
HAHAHA... this is very funny. Its funny that some people got offended by this- chill out folks. I am surprised that an Art major isn't on the list. But, that makes me feel better about myself- though i realize its pretty useless too. ha.
Considering the spelling and punctuation mistakes most people who've posted here have made, I suspect a degree in English Literature is not as worthless as this suggests.
I got my degree in Journalism. Only because I needed something on my resume to qualify for law school. Journalism as a degree is largely a joke because everyone in the field on the hiring end just started working for a newspaper fresh out of high school. College cannot teach you how to find a story, only what to do with it when you found it. It was fun. It kept my grades high. But I hate to think I would have been relying on it for my career.
My son is now in college and has probably floated about five of the above as majors he is considering. I'm thinking of just stopping payment on the tuition check and mailing him Coast Guard brochures.
Apparently these are none of YOUR majors...you probably choose the one thing you are specialized in and didn't include that here. First off I was a film major, left it, was going to be studio art as I've always liked but now am doing Religion, Philosophy. Hey! I think I found all of those on your list...not offended I dont care this is an opinion piece (clearly) you're probably a business major anyway. Now..with that you'll probably lose the whole meaning of life...but hey? Why enjoy the short period you live...anyway, I'll explain how religion and philosophy are both useful.
I'm going for a docterates in psychology and study in mindfulness training, religion and philosophy help there. Theology in psychology of course, theorizing and being able to analyze possible causes, cures, for so far uncureable diseases, bi-polar, where the cause is uncertain along with others. Religion...mindfulness in Buddhism also prevalent in many Eastern religions along with the theologies of many Western thinkers as well is very helpful.
I was an English major (which I will regret til the day I die) and you hit that one right on the money. Here i sit at an entry level position at some random small company. But, I like it. It Beats a Barnes & Noble's sweat shop any day.
Why is everyone assuming people majoring in business, nursing, etc. are not following their dreams? I want to be able to travel when I graduate. I can't afford to do that by sucking rich yuppie's dicks (ironically, everything art majors don't want to be) and trying to sell my "inspirational" pieces of art.
If you want to do art and learn about philosophy, you can do that in your free time, or take a few courses for your gen. ed classes. Don't blame me when you graduate and aren't making the money you want.
"ITS THE SYSTEM MAN, LAWLZ"
You guys forgot Kinesiology. I have to go back to school and get an associates degree so I can get job. Four yr. degrees are over rated unless you plan on going to med school.
There's one big one you all forgot...MUSIC!!!! Music performance, music theory, music production and engineering - the degree is worth less than the paper it's written on. Please go out there and discourage anyone from making the same mistake I did, and if they want to be a musician, they should...BE A MUSICIAN. There is no point in taking 45,000 dollars a year and throwing it out to pursue a career in which no one will ever ask to see your degree. I took 10 years of music theory, and 90% of people way more successful in the music industry know significantly less about music than i do...
You can't imagine the frustration.
Billiards that is, I've been playing for a while now and definitely am digging the game.
A few months ago I got a definitely unerring schmelke cue at get because the guy who owns the merge way I tolerant of to bolt at knows a guy who owns a cue shop. He told me go there and said he sent me, because he didn't yearn for me to shrink my outmoded with crap cues anymore.
I'm no Efren Rayes but I am beautiful good.
But anyways, a batch of cowards with nothing to do but annoyance nearly others are prevailing to to all intents object and say I'm looking for attention....
But try not to let that choke up you from providing sharp examination on this fascinating sport.
You can add a associates degree/ bachelor's degree in Graphic Design to the list. Been almost a year and still no job. All
you can do is freelance and sit around praying some one will
hire you. In the mean time, you watch your bank account drop while you try to figure how to pay your rent.
I on the agenda c trick to set up a guerilla ad for tic tacs for a ready project. It doesn't on the agenda c trick to be a physically-there ad, simply bring out how the ad would look in public. What i considering to do is affix or someway spot oversized tic tac leaves (their logo) on a leafless tree during the winter times on a elaborate pavement (conceivably somewhere like chicago where all is covered in snow, including the trees). Supposingly it devise grip people's acclaim since it devise be the solely tree with leaves enclosing during the season.
yay or nay?
People are going to be successful if they work hard, study and learn no matter what their majors are. The reason people who go to college do well--regardless of major and school--is because they have ambition and determination. They will get up in the morning and take the bus to school and study when other friends are going out. These habits translate into the real world too. You pretty much know right away whether someone wants to work towards their goals or is just along for the ride. I know a lot of A students who I wouldn't hire to clean my gutters--and I, a solid B student, will probably make more money than each and every one of them within five years or so.
I have a girlfriend who is going to grad school for an MBA and is barely functionally literate. She graduated with a business degree because she took all of the easiest courses with all lowest, dumbest easy grading teachers. The school we went to, Cal-State San Bernardino, is home to a lot of professors who are easy graders--so after four years of college if a student doesn't know basic math and can't read or write, they'll give out a degree anyway and say their job is done.
The sad thing is that in order to get a quality education, you have to pay tip-top dollar in order to go to schools like Harvard, Yale, Princeton and the like. Most other Universities are just glorified high schools.
I think the biggest problem in college is that you are no longer rewarded for hard work, studying and learning. Its like you are buying the degree like you would buy a car or house. We need to pay more attention to learning and hard-work.
Women in America quite, dislike and loth , geeks, and anybody who is interested in technology and the like. Whenever I got into a powwow wide technology such as robotics , cloning , etc ... people, extraordinarily women go absolutely apeshit and start screaming.
What is it wide body of knowledge and technology, that tread women, more than most anything else?
I am a college professor and I laughed like a hyena. You're a heck of a writer! But then again, I can afford to laugh, what with the tenured job and all. Just want to let you know I majored in Latin, and graduated from college with a C average. I wanted to teach. You'd think I'd have been wearing a paper hat and asking if you want fries with that for the past 20 years, but my evil mother made me go to law school, which I thought I'd hate, but I loved it, and then I got a job for more money than I ever heard of, which I thought I'd love but I hated it. It took me fifteen years to get out of the clutches of the married with children and mortgage thing that had taken over my brain, and I went back to grad school. By this time I had my sh*t more together, which most people do by the time they're 40, and aced it and got this great job at a little college which I've had for the past 5 years. I'll never make millions (though I've got a pretty nice consulting thing going) but I am deliriously happy. Moral of the story: do what you love and the money will follow.
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
October 9th, 2008 at 07:14 pm
Haha! How true! I'm a philosophy major...and so far, no one has paid me for my extensive metaphysical insight! That's why I'm in law school!
October 11th, 2008 at 06:39 pm
My BA in Sociology provided me with the unique ability and insight to be aware of just how much my proletariat ass suffers at their hands on the daily...and yes, I am being sarcastic...just a little bit.
October 12th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
What about a degree in pharmacy? Six to seven years in college to end up counting pills and working nights and weekends at Walgreens.
October 13th, 2008 at 03:35 am
I don't understand people who pick a career based on how much money it will make them.
Art history isn't a useless degree if that's what you want to do with your life. I want to work in an art museum. So art history is far from useless in my case. I'm also realistic about the fact that I'll need to go into graduate studies and museum studies to get the job I really want. But I knew that from the start. I just don't get people who study random things without a real goal or without knowing what it will take to reach it, then bitch about not having a job and having to work at Starbucks.
By the way, working in a museum is a great career. It allows you to work in a culturally rich setting and to work somewhere that serves a community. It's a truly international field and it's full of possibilities. The job placement rate (in our field of study) for my museum studies program is over 90%. And a museum definitely has more than just "one guy sitting at a desk reading the New Yorker". Smaller museums may have a dozen or so employees, larger ones can have a few hundred. There are directors, curators, registrars, exhibition planners, conservators, department of education jobs, archivists, the list goes on.
It may not make you rich, but it's definitely a great field.
And, if it's not for you, your art history degree cand lead to work in art galleries, auction houses, curator for a corporate art collection, teaching, art citic/writing for art publications/books. You can even become a private consultant for the very rich people who want to know what they should buy for their private art collections.
So, if you love art, go for it, and with some perseverence, you should be able to find a great job.
October 13th, 2008 at 09:16 pm
you missed one - women's studies - useless waste of time - allows you to hide @ university to party
October 13th, 2008 at 09:28 pm
Man you hit this one on the head. I tell people every day to make every second of college count and they always come back with lame excuses of following your dreams. What aload of cr*p.
Like the avg undergrad can even follow a syllabus much less follow their dreams or know what there dream is. Ask the local chick at Starbucks majoring in Eng. lit. She doesnt know squat about even eng. lit.
But you have to make the most of undergraduate studies.
Additional worthless majors:
1. African American Studies - haha wow so what can you do with this one besides chronicle years of injustice in America.
2. Womens Studies - Wow so you hate men? So how will you benefit our comapny if we hire you?
3. Psychology - Half the workers at Starbucks and Ikea have this one. My roomate had this and she looked as though she was suicidal last time she came home from a special ed assignment.
4. Classics - No one cares or even has heard of Plutarch or Polybius at work. They are to busy surfing porn and dating co workers. Not once did anyone ask me about anything related to the classics. And no one gives a shit about latin and greek word roots.
5. Sociology - Heres a good one for you all. I dont know any sociology majors and the University I went to gave them the crappiest building as well. This should tell you something.
6. ALtin American Studies -
7. LGBT Studies-
8. Asian Lit.
9. Chicano studies
10.Theatre
11. Ethnic studies
12. Native American Studies
13.World Studies
Go ahead. I add a few every college has a slew of these that you jsut know will get you into the unemployment line ASAP. Yay!
October 14th, 2008 at 05:22 pm
"do what motivates you and you will do well"
I completely agree. While I found this post very funny, I didn't necessarily find it very true. All of my friends who have graduated, despite their degrees, have had an extremely difficult time finding jobs. And they are all engineering, psychology, photography, and journalism majors. A major is useless unless the person who earns it is willing to work very hard to get what they want.
What I've found is that a lot of majors don't think outside the box. Philosophy isn't just about sitting and thinking all day, it can lead to a career in Law. And History/Poli Sci can lead to a career in leadership. And Social Work can lead to opening a children's home or women's shelter, like my mom did.
I'm an English Lit major and plan on working in a library, teaching different subjects of university level education, volunteering and working with environmentalist groups (studying ecocriticism)... I have absolutely no fears at finding a career within my areas of interest and I look forward to leading a fulfilling life on a decent salary doing something I'm passionate about.
/end speech
That all being said... still funny article. I definitely know stereotypes from all majors.
October 15th, 2008 at 05:23 am
i double major in comm and philosopohy
October 15th, 2008 at 04:01 pm
I'm a crim major at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, Canada.. and THAT is a major that is worthwhile!
it's pretty interesting and there will always be a need for people in the Criminal justice system.. there will always be criminals (as long as we have laws) so that there is a sense of job security. if my dream career doesn't pan out i can always be a cop.. that's my fallback :)
October 15th, 2008 at 08:14 pm
You have no fears because you havent tried finding a job in your field.
you havent even graduated yet. Wait until the summer of your senior year comes around and your forced to move back in with your parents. Employers are going to find it funny that you spent 4 yrs of your life studying English Lit. while you are trying to compete with thousands of other Phd English majors who will take your job as a librarian.
You need higher level education for your little job as a librarian at a University.
Listen. People need to major in areas that are in demand. Jsut dont say to yourself that "people need english lit majors and therefore I will find a job." This type of naivity will get you no where.
Society needs doctors, engineers, comp. porgrammars, agriculturalists, geologists, soldiers, scientists, linguists and chemists.
We have way too many Eng., Hist. and other type of majors. What we dont need is 10,000 more psych grads.
You will see asha when you graduate what the eng. lit will get you besides a one way ticket to teaching.
October 15th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
I like how everyone gets all offended by this. Its a blog that's trying to make a satire and getting all pissed off because of it is like some mother catching her son watching South Park and writing an angry letter. POINTLESS. There are going to be slacker dead beats and successful millionaires to come out of just about any sort of major. I don't care who you are and what you studied but if you can't sit back and laugh at yourself every once and awhile then I feel sorry for the people that have to be around you.
October 16th, 2008 at 12:37 am
An Associate in Arts Degree in Automotive Technology - an AA degree for wannabe future grease monkeys! So retarded! What a waste. I got one in 1993, and I wound up working at gas stations for 10 years! They hire bums and homeless people to work at gas stations - the same thing I went to Jr. College for 2 years!
What a useless degree. Not once did an employer ever even ask me to show it to them - much less put it on the wall anywhere. To think I borrowed $15,000 in student loans for that completely useless degree!
October 18th, 2008 at 01:46 am
film is only a good degree if your family has enough money to buy you editing programs and a camera which then lands you an internship with espn. because espn still uses linear editing. ha.
all the well to him..
October 19th, 2008 at 04:58 am
Some majors on this list shouldn't be on there. You can be sucessful with basically any major. Just because you couldn't find a job and forked out so much money or didn't get paid a lot it doesn't mean that it is worthless. If you thought that you wasted your time studying for your major then maybe you shouldn't have gone to college period because you made the decision in what you studied. No one forced you into it. No one said it was going to be easy. So even if an employer never asked for your diploma you should just feel proud of yourself for having gone to school because it is something that not everyone can and want to do.
End lecture :)
October 19th, 2008 at 02:17 pm
Music therapists in texas are being hired in 90% of the public school districts teamed with special education, and has become more accepted in the therapy world because it has helped so many people. do some research on what things actually are before you write smack about them.
in short, fuck this article.
October 19th, 2008 at 03:31 pm
Um, Anorexic Ginger, people don't go into social work for the money...sheesh...
Great list...
Honorable mention should go to 'Sociology: the study of the obvious'
October 19th, 2008 at 04:30 pm
I'm from the UK, and most employers will employ the best students at the best university, regardless of what degree they do.
I don't know if the case is the same in the US, but this list sounds like a load of shit to me. It's especially narrow minded, and seems to suggest that anyone that studies a subject will continue to do so forever.
In the UK 70% of postgraduate jobs aren't course specific, so anyone with a good degree gets a job. Is it not the case in America?
October 20th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Gee, I don't know about religion, since I have a Masters degree and a Doctorate of Religious Studies. I made a living as a pastor in two different denominations and a drug abuse program administrator in another. Unless you're going specifically into a religious vocation, you're better to choose something else. However, a fellow I know is pastor over a large liberal church in Canada and he's making $150,000+ per year. In a pure religious studies program, the only way you can make it is to get a Ph.D. and hope for a job teaching in a college or university setting.
October 21st, 2008 at 08:27 pm
Why, you are dead right on philosophy. I quote: "Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable." So that leaves the ones which do not. I found one I am happy with, I teach philosophy and let me assure you it is not about the seduction of young males in ancient Hellas or (Boötia) Sparta (come to that even the Athenians would refrain from their practice). It really is quite a good subject to take up if you want to learn which jobs you do not want to do. By the way, Albert Schweitzer did take courses in philosophy but foremost he was a physician.
October 23rd, 2008 at 02:48 am
While what you say is very true in most cases, it is ultimately about a persons ambitions. what makes them happy, and to find some fulfillment in career. Being educated is all about dispersing the knowledge to others . then youll be fulfilled. a little. NOW QUE THE BITCHING!
October 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Do your research first, you have absolutely no idea what music therapy is about. Its not teaching you how to play background music for the OAPs but is about helping people, particularly with mental conditions through participation in music.
I've seen footage of people who were so shut off from the world that they couldnt even walk actually dancing around a room.
October 24th, 2008 at 01:42 pm
I'm so sick of everyone who feels the need to assert that college is worthless, because they failed out or because they picked a major which was not in line with their interests. No, a college degree isn't necessary to make bank in the corporate world, and I know this might be hard for some people to grasp, but there are a hell of a lot of well-paying jobs that DON'T involve working your way up to CEO from a cubicle, and that you'd have a damn hard time teaching yourself. Bio, Engineering, Biochemistry, and LAW to name a few. I would love for someone to show me the statistics of unemployed lawyers vs. people who hold degree's from this list. Now get back to flipping burgers, and while I'm enjoying a career in epidemiology that I both enjoy and make an avg. starting salary of 70k a year in, I'll be sure to give you a tip.
October 24th, 2008 at 05:29 pm
yea i was going to say something of your obvious mistake about communications classes, but many people already have. try taking a comm class
October 24th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Predictably enough, there was a plethora of drama queens bitching about how awesome their degrees in the aforementioned categories are... I personally don't think there is such a thing as a worthless degree, I mean they have to be good for *something*. But it's a funny list, people.
October 25th, 2008 at 02:46 am
i'm not even in college yet, but come on people. seems like most of you are but you can't even spell "cue" correctly.
October 25th, 2008 at 04:29 am
Film isn't all that useless actually, and there are a lot more jobs out there than you think(although if you take film at a University, you're kinda fucked, you need to go to an art school). Film/Video and Animation are actually pretty big jobs. A lot of them might be tied to advertisements and commercials though...
October 25th, 2008 at 04:56 pm
I didn't see Russian history or recreational studies (what my friends and I call a funologist) on the list...
October 25th, 2008 at 06:26 pm
This is a pretty cool list. Im glad im not interested in any of the majors on this list.
October 29th, 2008 at 05:18 pm
less than 50% of jobs requiring a degree ask for a specific degree so you can basically do anything if you have a degree, you don't have to work in the area yu've got your degree.
If were looking at things purely from an employment point of view then I agree with most of this list, apart from Religion. Religion is actually one of the most useful degrees you can study for as you develop a lot of skills employers look for. Uni isn't supposed to be about getting a job, its about furthering your education and studying something in depth. Its supposed to be about self fulfillment, not future employment.
October 31st, 2008 at 08:03 pm
I am an Aerospace Engineer/ Physicist... and I simply could not just let this article go without comment. My major will always exist, even if the world ends in war (assuming anyone survives, the idea to rebuild and redesign shall always remain), and the physics is generally frowned upon as being "an evil major". You'd be shocked to see how many "entry" level jobs for either field pay far more than 75,000 a year at respectful companies (Lockheed Martin, Boeing, SpaceX). However, in the course of my studies, and wandering out and about my fine campus, I have come across the most pointless majors:
1) Business: "CEO 'wannabes' who simply think that accounting is enough math for anyone. Generally gets trashed every weekend, never studies.
2) Communications: Good work, you can type up a news article, though anyone with fingers and a keyboard can do the same without a liberal spin.
3) Music Majors: Unless you're a musical artist, nobody truly cares, or will care to pay, about you knowing the Great Composer's down to their favorite colors.
4) Psych, English, Art: These liberals are found mostly studying in the grass around campus, or sunning topless. The only thing they do remotely useful is teh last.
5) Fashion Majors: You people amuse me; math dodging, english course fearing, Kinesiology avoiding liberals who put up ungodly colors on cardboard cut outs to mimic clothes.
6) Kinesiology Majors: Perfect for Coaches, or sex offenders.
November 1st, 2008 at 04:14 pm
HAHAHA... this is very funny. Its funny that some people got offended by this- chill out folks. I am surprised that an Art major isn't on the list. But, that makes me feel better about myself- though i realize its pretty useless too. ha.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:13 am
Considering the spelling and punctuation mistakes most people who've posted here have made, I suspect a degree in English Literature is not as worthless as this suggests.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Philosophy and English are are actually quite useful if you want to practice law.
November 3rd, 2008 at 08:31 pm
I got my degree in Journalism. Only because I needed something on my resume to qualify for law school. Journalism as a degree is largely a joke because everyone in the field on the hiring end just started working for a newspaper fresh out of high school. College cannot teach you how to find a story, only what to do with it when you found it. It was fun. It kept my grades high. But I hate to think I would have been relying on it for my career.
My son is now in college and has probably floated about five of the above as majors he is considering. I'm thinking of just stopping payment on the tuition check and mailing him Coast Guard brochures.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Apparently these are none of YOUR majors...you probably choose the one thing you are specialized in and didn't include that here. First off I was a film major, left it, was going to be studio art as I've always liked but now am doing Religion, Philosophy. Hey! I think I found all of those on your list...not offended I dont care this is an opinion piece (clearly) you're probably a business major anyway. Now..with that you'll probably lose the whole meaning of life...but hey? Why enjoy the short period you live...anyway, I'll explain how religion and philosophy are both useful.
I'm going for a docterates in psychology and study in mindfulness training, religion and philosophy help there. Theology in psychology of course, theorizing and being able to analyze possible causes, cures, for so far uncureable diseases, bi-polar, where the cause is uncertain along with others. Religion...mindfulness in Buddhism also prevalent in many Eastern religions along with the theologies of many Western thinkers as well is very helpful.
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
I was an English major (which I will regret til the day I die) and you hit that one right on the money. Here i sit at an entry level position at some random small company. But, I like it. It Beats a Barnes & Noble's sweat shop any day.
January 18th, 2009 at 08:05 am
Why is everyone assuming people majoring in business, nursing, etc. are not following their dreams? I want to be able to travel when I graduate. I can't afford to do that by sucking rich yuppie's dicks (ironically, everything art majors don't want to be) and trying to sell my "inspirational" pieces of art.
If you want to do art and learn about philosophy, you can do that in your free time, or take a few courses for your gen. ed classes. Don't blame me when you graduate and aren't making the money you want.
"ITS THE SYSTEM MAN, LAWLZ"
January 25th, 2009 at 03:56 pm
Very interesting post. might offend some people but pretty funny =]
February 26th, 2009 at 07:48 am
You guys forgot Kinesiology. I have to go back to school and get an associates degree so I can get job. Four yr. degrees are over rated unless you plan on going to med school.
March 2nd, 2009 at 01:21 am
Shit... I just got accepted as an American studies major.
March 24th, 2009 at 01:52 pm
There's one big one you all forgot...MUSIC!!!! Music performance, music theory, music production and engineering - the degree is worth less than the paper it's written on. Please go out there and discourage anyone from making the same mistake I did, and if they want to be a musician, they should...BE A MUSICIAN. There is no point in taking 45,000 dollars a year and throwing it out to pursue a career in which no one will ever ask to see your degree. I took 10 years of music theory, and 90% of people way more successful in the music industry know significantly less about music than i do...
You can't imagine the frustration.
March 5th, 2009 at 12:42 am
bro bros, bros let slight up a dobbie and talk about metallica
March 27th, 2009 at 04:10 am
Billiards that is, I've been playing for a while now and definitely am digging the game.
A few months ago I got a definitely unerring schmelke cue at get because the guy who owns the merge way I tolerant of to bolt at knows a guy who owns a cue shop. He told me go there and said he sent me, because he didn't yearn for me to shrink my outmoded with crap cues anymore.
I'm no Efren Rayes but I am beautiful good.
But anyways, a batch of cowards with nothing to do but annoyance nearly others are prevailing to to all intents object and say I'm looking for attention....
But try not to let that choke up you from providing sharp examination on this fascinating sport.
August 13th, 2009 at 09:30 pm
You can add a associates degree/ bachelor's degree in Graphic Design to the list. Been almost a year and still no job. All
you can do is freelance and sit around praying some one will
hire you. In the mean time, you watch your bank account drop while you try to figure how to pay your rent.
April 26th, 2009 at 05:09 am
So true, i think landscape architect takes the lead there though, just a glorified draftsmen in nice do up boots.
http://advicegirlfriend.com
March 25th, 2009 at 01:52 am
I on the agenda c trick to set up a guerilla ad for tic tacs for a ready project. It doesn't on the agenda c trick to be a physically-there ad, simply bring out how the ad would look in public. What i considering to do is affix or someway spot oversized tic tac leaves (their logo) on a leafless tree during the winter times on a elaborate pavement (conceivably somewhere like chicago where all is covered in snow, including the trees). Supposingly it devise grip people's acclaim since it devise be the solely tree with leaves enclosing during the season.
yay or nay?
August 12th, 2009 at 01:58 pm
People are going to be successful if they work hard, study and learn no matter what their majors are. The reason people who go to college do well--regardless of major and school--is because they have ambition and determination. They will get up in the morning and take the bus to school and study when other friends are going out. These habits translate into the real world too. You pretty much know right away whether someone wants to work towards their goals or is just along for the ride. I know a lot of A students who I wouldn't hire to clean my gutters--and I, a solid B student, will probably make more money than each and every one of them within five years or so.
I have a girlfriend who is going to grad school for an MBA and is barely functionally literate. She graduated with a business degree because she took all of the easiest courses with all lowest, dumbest easy grading teachers. The school we went to, Cal-State San Bernardino, is home to a lot of professors who are easy graders--so after four years of college if a student doesn't know basic math and can't read or write, they'll give out a degree anyway and say their job is done.
The sad thing is that in order to get a quality education, you have to pay tip-top dollar in order to go to schools like Harvard, Yale, Princeton and the like. Most other Universities are just glorified high schools.
I think the biggest problem in college is that you are no longer rewarded for hard work, studying and learning. Its like you are buying the degree like you would buy a car or house. We need to pay more attention to learning and hard-work.
March 27th, 2009 at 03:37 am
Women in America quite, dislike and loth , geeks, and anybody who is interested in technology and the like. Whenever I got into a powwow wide technology such as robotics , cloning , etc ... people, extraordinarily women go absolutely apeshit and start screaming.
What is it wide body of knowledge and technology, that tread women, more than most anything else?
April 1st, 2009 at 04:53 pm
I am a college professor and I laughed like a hyena. You're a heck of a writer! But then again, I can afford to laugh, what with the tenured job and all. Just want to let you know I majored in Latin, and graduated from college with a C average. I wanted to teach. You'd think I'd have been wearing a paper hat and asking if you want fries with that for the past 20 years, but my evil mother made me go to law school, which I thought I'd hate, but I loved it, and then I got a job for more money than I ever heard of, which I thought I'd love but I hated it. It took me fifteen years to get out of the clutches of the married with children and mortgage thing that had taken over my brain, and I went back to grad school. By this time I had my sh*t more together, which most people do by the time they're 40, and aced it and got this great job at a little college which I've had for the past 5 years. I'll never make millions (though I've got a pretty nice consulting thing going) but I am deliriously happy. Moral of the story: do what you love and the money will follow.
March 25th, 2009 at 09:50 pm
i love how personally everyone took this.
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