Creepy Or Sexy: Heidi Montag

June 3rd, 2008 | 08:36 pm

hmontag.jpg

To me, Heidi Montag is very similar to my apartment:  When it's cleaned up, if someone just briefly glances at it they think it looks pretty good.  But as soon as you take a closer look, you're horrified to see how unsanitary and disgusting it actually is.  (I could have used a "But as soon as you come inside" joke but I didn't.  Mostly because I couldn't think of one.)

pelican.jpg

I sort of think Montag looks like a pelican, and not just like a regular pelican, but an evil cartoon pelican that would be in a Pixar movie about a sand crab that was trying to find it's way home or something.  Plus, her fake boobs remind me of a traumatic event in my childhood when my brother held me down and inflated a balloon in front of my face until it loudly exploded.  So, what I'm trying to say is I find her creepy.  But, as I have said before, this isn't about what I think, it's about you, the people.  So, is she creepy....or sexy?

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22 Responses to "Creepy Or Sexy: Heidi Montag"

  1. Anonymous Says:

    She's probably not too bright being that she's with that awful boyfriend.They are both in it for the sake of self promotion.

  2. Will Says:

    I think she has some quite masculine features. Namely that jaw!

  3. Ginamarie Says:

    Heidi is very sexy and comes across as a sweet girl in interviews. I'm curious how some of you guys consider Heidi to be skanky when so many other starlets have slept with so many guys and always seem to be wasted in their photos. Heidi is a true beauty.

  4. nana Says:

    I do find heidi sexy she is a nice girl:)

  5. Anonymous Says:

    NOT!!!!

  6. Sprmcandy Says:

    I could wrap her long blonde hair around my cock & squirt my sperm all over her face. Thats all I can think of to use her for. What else is she good for??

  7. Steve Says:

    She's way hot.

  8. blake williams Says:

    I'd bang her on Halloween.

  9. Buddy Ice Says:

    I'd like to bite off her nipples and chew on them like bubble gum, but besides that I think she looks kind of doofish.

  10. Mr. Drummond Says:

    Who is this cunt and what is she famous for?

  11. ... Says:

    daemaro...you know way too much about those people

  12. Daemaro Says:

    Sexy... but I wouldn't touch her vag if Spencer was willing to pay me so he could film it. We all know he doesn't hit it himself (being penisless and all) but that doesn't stop him from letting others.

  13. Derek Says:

    Creepy. Her fake tits are the creepiest fake tits I've ever seen, and there's something too soulless about her.

  14. matt pilot Says:

    definately a robot

  15. IMHO Says:

    She's Creexy

    Body=sexy
    Face=creepy

  16. hot mama Says:

    creepy all the way. I think shes dirtier then a 16 year old prostitot.

  17. morty Says:

    why does this bitch get so much attention? Go to waspy suburb you can see about ten thousand fake boobed blonde broads...though about half are underage and the other half are their mothers

  18. eddie finklestein Says:

    Sexy. I can overlook the whole vapid attention-whote thing cause I'd totally do her, and shed probably let me take pics too.

  19. Mr. Poopy Pants Says:

    I think she is a little bit of both. Sometimes she looks really good and other times not so much. She might have the face of a pelican but she has the body of a Red-Legged Partridge Quail.

  20. abhorsen Says:

    Well, his name is WANKER, after all. she's nothing special. check out the new cover of Front. now THAT'S hot!

  21. WANKER Says:

    VERY SEXY!

  22. Julia Says:

    She looks like Cruella DeVil in a bathing suit - enough said.

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