Write a caption for this student who probably won't do very well on his SATs and you could win a copy of Hot Shots Golf: Open Tee 2. It's the only game that let's you play like Tiger Woods on acid (and, oddly, that's kind of awesome.) As usual, leave your captions in the comment section. Winners will be notified via HolyTaco.
See last week's winners after the jump.
Winner: Dakota: Here Dad, you take it… I’m too wasted to finish it.
Runner Ups:
JPardo: Here Dude, I found this “Fountain of Youth” beer. Worked for me!
Matthew: Naked babied no longer availible with Bud Light.
e46m3: take the blood of Christ brother… and YOU SHALL BE SAVED!!! HALLELUJAH!!!
Sean: During his intervention, Patrick promised he would never again pick up a beer.
Colorado Mike: The one, and possibly only, reason for having children.
Hanky: I love you son.
Machine99: Crappy formula equals crappy beer for you, dad!
"Let's see...shop teacher, janitor, school nurse, fucking bitch Mrs. Crabtree who made me stick my head in a chair for talking...I'm fucked! Is it too much to ask for a cop or a paramedic or something? These clowns are going to cut my ass off..."
It had always been his dream, to grow up and become a successful surgeon. And on that day, Janitor Bob truely felt like his dream had come true, if only for a moment.
So, teach was like, "Johnny, come up to the board and solve for x" and I was like "fuck you buddy, I'd rather stick my head in the chair then come up there and do your stupid math." As you can see, my ingenious plan worked to perfection!
With the obesity problems in our children today and the plate lunch being of "mystery meat," little Johnny decided to take advantage of the delicious "eco-friendly" "green earth" chair!
I heard my 5th grade teacher was into kinky stuff...I was just practicing. Can you buy me some vodka and get me out of here soon...I have to be over there by 6 and I can't drive?
(90)
June 10th, 2008 at 09:00 pm
Now Johnny, next time we think we see a jelly bean on the floor, we arent gonna dive through our desk in the middle of class are we?
June 10th, 2008 at 07:52 pm
And with that, the No Child Left Behind Task Force sprang into action.
June 10th, 2008 at 07:15 pm
The things we do to get to the head of the class...
June 10th, 2008 at 04:36 pm
Explaining what he did you your mother last night was jsut not enough.
June 10th, 2008 at 02:38 pm
"Let's see...shop teacher, janitor, school nurse, fucking bitch Mrs. Crabtree who made me stick my head in a chair for talking...I'm fucked! Is it too much to ask for a cop or a paramedic or something? These clowns are going to cut my ass off..."
June 10th, 2008 at 01:24 pm
For recess Billy wanted to play spiderman. Billy was unfortunately assigned the role of Dr. Octavious.
June 10th, 2008 at 01:11 pm
"Your right, farts do smell as soon as they come out your but."
June 10th, 2008 at 08:30 am
"He Triple Dog Dared Me."
June 10th, 2008 at 05:12 am
Little Tommy's curiosity of where his farts actually go got the better of him this time.
June 10th, 2008 at 03:22 am
Father O'Malley said this is the position Jesus would do.
June 10th, 2008 at 03:01 am
ok who put the viagra in my lolipop
June 10th, 2008 at 02:51 am
FOX's new reality show Two for Flinching. Former schoolyard bullies return to their old stompin grounds...40 years later!
June 9th, 2008 at 09:07 pm
Another victim of the ass-sniffing venus chair-trap.
June 9th, 2008 at 04:31 pm
Jimmy could no longer stand the name calling from the other students about his "growth" and decided to have it removed immediately.
June 9th, 2008 at 04:27 pm
I am decepticon!! bow to me peasents
June 9th, 2008 at 10:54 am
"See heres the thing...were gonna have to cut this fat kids head off to save the chair!"
June 8th, 2008 at 06:34 pm
Does this chair make me look fat?
June 8th, 2008 at 05:43 pm
nurse: "white people"
June 8th, 2008 at 05:42 pm
ONE child left behind.
June 8th, 2008 at 03:57 pm
"OK, the saw I get...but is it really necessary for the nurse to take my temperature?"
June 8th, 2008 at 04:40 am
"Just like winnie the pooh"
June 8th, 2008 at 04:26 am
Yes Jimmy we know this is sparta! Now hold still so the janitor doesnt cutt off your ear
June 8th, 2008 at 02:53 am
Little Billy: Hey, nice hacksaw. How much you wanna bet I can get my head through that...
June 7th, 2008 at 09:23 pm
FUCK MUSICAL CHAIRS
June 7th, 2008 at 05:54 am
This is what public school thought me !
June 7th, 2008 at 05:44 am
This is what Public School did for Me!
June 7th, 2008 at 01:48 am
hahahahaha..jokes. look at the kids face..hes gonna go find some next chair and do it again.
June 6th, 2008 at 05:05 pm
It had always been his dream, to grow up and become a successful surgeon. And on that day, Janitor Bob truely felt like his dream had come true, if only for a moment.
June 6th, 2008 at 06:03 am
I saw a twinkee in the floor, but.. I did not see the chair in the way. Curse you god for inventing the abomination you call "chairs"!!!1!!1!!ONE!!1
June 6th, 2008 at 03:49 am
and you thought being fat was bad enough
June 6th, 2008 at 01:59 am
Son, are you still biting down on the chewing gum?
June 5th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Little Johnny began screaming profusely once he learned the truth, Narnia could only be accessed through the wardrobe, not the chair.
June 5th, 2008 at 07:53 pm
Hey do you think you can get the nurse to itch my ass?
June 5th, 2008 at 07:52 pm
Hey guy's, lets not waste a perfectly good chair. all we have to do is separate my neck and then were all good.
June 5th, 2008 at 07:23 pm
Life in Catholic School, "Thank you Father O'Keefe, may I have another?!"
June 5th, 2008 at 06:29 pm
"Dude, I got em all distracted, get the test answers, GET THE F' IN TEST ANSWERS, TOMMMY"
June 5th, 2008 at 03:34 pm
Luckily after removing the boys head, the chair was able to be used again
June 5th, 2008 at 02:21 pm
"Yeah, I stuck my head in the chair...but at least I'm not sawing through my own wrist!"
June 5th, 2008 at 02:17 pm
So, teach was like, "Johnny, come up to the board and solve for x" and I was like "fuck you buddy, I'd rather stick my head in the chair then come up there and do your stupid math." As you can see, my ingenious plan worked to perfection!
June 5th, 2008 at 01:24 pm
With the obesity problems in our children today and the plate lunch being of "mystery meat," little Johnny decided to take advantage of the delicious "eco-friendly" "green earth" chair!
June 5th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
When keeping it real goes wrong.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I heard my 5th grade teacher was into kinky stuff...I was just practicing. Can you buy me some vodka and get me out of here soon...I have to be over there by 6 and I can't drive?
June 5th, 2008 at 04:38 am
Remember the video of the guy sticking his head all the way into a woman's pussy? I tried that...with a chair
June 5th, 2008 at 03:18 am
i am Dork from Ork!
June 5th, 2008 at 01:58 am
Crap! It's not like warm apple pie OR this!
June 4th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
"Christ Bob! I think it would be easier to cut his fucking head off then hacksaw through this chair." "God knows the little bastard deserves it Jim!"
June 4th, 2008 at 09:16 pm
The pen is royal blue!!!
June 4th, 2008 at 08:28 pm
Since his teacher wouldn't give him any action, little Joey got attention the best way he knew how.
June 4th, 2008 at 08:27 pm
What do you mean did my mom smoke pot when she was pregnant?
June 4th, 2008 at 08:08 pm
Reinventing the wedgie
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