June 8th, 2008 | 06:14
Earlier today we made reference to Jessica Alba becoming a mother, but there's more to the story. Much more! Actually, there's not really, I mostly just wanted to let everyone know they named her something stupid. People.com reports:
Jessica Alba and husband Cash Warren have welcomed a baby girl.
Honor Marie Warren was born June 7 in Los Angeles, her rep, Brad Cafarelli, confirms.
Apparently "Honor" was the name that Jessica Alba suggested, and they decided to go with that over Cash Warren's suggestion of "Ineverhavetoworkagain Marie Warren."
Three or so years ago, "Cash" (I'm putting his name in quotes because I refuse to recognize that name as real name and not something a frat guy gets nicknamed by his bros after he comes up short when trying to pay a hooker), was a director's assistant on Fantastic Four, and now he's not only put his penis inside Jessica Alba, but he's done so without a condom, married her, and now made a baby with her that will forever link him to her money and success.
Now, my first instinct is to bash the living shit out of him because his douchebaggery seems to be not of this world. Like some kind of alien technology created it or something. But, if you really think about it, his accomplishment is sort of inspiring. Like, I almost feel like they should hire "Cash" to speak to cancer patients and be like "I used to get coffee for the dude who directed Fantastic Four. Fantastic...Four. And now, I impregnated Jessica Alba upon HER request. So the next time your doctor tells you it's not looking good....you tell him "Cash" says you're gonna make it."
Anyway, I have a photo from the delivery room. "Cash" seems very excited.
![](mailto:?subject=Jessica Alba And Cash Warren Bask In Baby Glow&body=<p><a href="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/cashalba.jpg" title="cashalba.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/cashalba.jpg" alt="cashalba.jpg" /></a></p>
<p>Earlier today we made reference to Jessica Alba becoming a mother, but there's more to the story. Much more! Actually, there's not really, I mostly just wanted to let everyone know they named her something stupid. <a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20204184,00.html" target="_blank">People.com</a> reports:</p>
<blockquote><p><a href="http://www.chickipedia.com/Jessica_Alba" target="_blank">Jessica Alba</a> and husband Cash Warren have welcomed a baby girl.<br />
<strong>Honor Marie Warren</strong> was born June 7 in Los Angeles, her rep, Brad Cafarelli, confirms.</p></blockquote>
<p>Apparently "Honor" was the name that Jessica Alba suggested, and they decided to go with that over Cash Warren's suggestion of "Ineverhavetoworkagain Marie Warren."</p>
<p>Three or so years ago, "Cash" (I'm putting his name in quotes because I refuse to recognize that name as real name and not something a frat guy gets nicknamed by his bros after he comes up short when trying to pay a hooker), was a director's assistant on Fantastic Four, and now he's not only put his penis inside Jessica Alba, but he's done so without a condom, married her, and now made a baby with her that will forever link him to her money and success.</p>
<p>Now, my first instinct is to bash the living shit out of him because his douchebaggery seems to be not of this world. Like some kind of alien technology created it or something. But, if you really think about it, his accomplishment is sort of inspiring. Like, I almost feel like they should hire "Cash" to speak to cancer patients and be like "I used to get coffee for the dude who directed Fantastic Four. Fantastic...Four. And now, I impregnated Jessica Alba upon HER request. So the next time your doctor tells you it's not looking good....you tell him "Cash" says you're gonna make it."</p>
<p>Anyway, I have a photo from the delivery room. "Cash" seems very excited.</p>
<p><a href="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/cashalbababy.jpg" title="cashalbababy.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/cashalbababy.jpg" alt="cashalbababy.jpg" /></a></p>
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October fth, 2008 at 10:40 am
mim you're a twat! Of course the pictures fake it's kinda the point. Dur! are you really that retarded?
But whoever wrote that article is shower!! That was one of the funniest things I've read!
B x
October fth, 2008 at 06:22 am
that picture is a fake!
June fth, 2008 at 01:42 pm
jeanne..that has to be the stupidest serious comment ever, or a really lame joke.
clearly this is a fake picture, it wasn't even worth mentioning. obviously nobody thought it was the real "first shot of jessica, cash and the baby"
your comment annoyed me more than anything else.
foolish.
June fth, 2008 at 03:07 am
Looks like her head was photoshopped. Nobody looks this good after having a baby. The head looks too big. She must have really looked like shizzz and they had to find a better head shot to replace the after birth shot.
June fth, 2008 at 11:41 am
I guess all we can do now is sit around and wait for Angelina Jolie to have her monsters....
June fth, 2008 at 07:58 am
this turn of events in reproduction is really making me want to change my own birthday
June fth, 2008 at 12:28 am
If she's old enough to pee, she's definitely old enough for me.
June fth, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Old enough to pee is old enough for me....
June fth, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Heres to Honor, getting honor and staying honor.
June fth, 2008 at 07:15 pm
I normally dont actually "LOL" ... but I did laugh at this one.. So the next time your doctor tells you it’s not looking good….you tell him “Cash” says you’re gonna make it.”
Thats classic.
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