June 9th, 2008 | 11:40
I remember watching Saved By The Bell and thinking two things: Lark Voorhies was going to be a huge star, and Zach Morris will bang more chicks than A.C. Slater. I'm haunted to this day by both predictions. If you want to know how many chicks Mario Lopez has banged, let me tell you this, he cheated on Ali Landry on their honeymoon. That means in only a short time, he grew so tired of banging one of the hottest women on the planet that he felt it necessary to bang someone else in a time normally reserved for the celebration of your commitment to spending the rest of your life with someone. Now he's here to tell us about his perfect girl. People.com reports:
Mario Lopez was in the middle of Times Square, talking about the type of girlfriend he's looking for.
"I'm a pretty low-maintenance kind of guy," Lopez, 34, told PEOPLE
"I'd like to be with someone who is secure with themselves. She has to understand that I have a lot going on and I'm busy."
I think right after he said that he started laughing uncontrollably for several minutes, then sighed and said "someone place a perfect set of boobs before me, so that I may rest my penis in between them while I continue this interview."
![](mailto:?subject=Mario Lopez Describes His Perfect Girl&body=<p><a href="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/ac-slater.jpg" title="ac-slater.jpg"><img src="http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/ac-slater.jpg" alt="ac-slater.jpg" /></a></p>
<p>I remember watching Saved By The Bell and thinking two things: Lark Voorhies was going to be a huge star, and Zach Morris will bang more chicks than A.C. Slater. I'm haunted to this day by both predictions. If you want to know how many chicks Mario Lopez has banged, let me tell you this, he cheated on <a href="http://www.chickipedia.com/Ali_Landry" target="_blank">Ali Landry</a> on their <em>honeymoon</em>. That means in only a short time, he grew so tired of banging one of the hottest women on the planet that he felt it necessary to bang someone else in a time normally reserved for the celebration of your commitment to spending the rest of your life with someone. Now he's here to tell us about his perfect girl. People.com reports:</p>
<blockquote><p>Mario Lopez was in the middle of Times Square, talking about the type of girlfriend he's looking for.</p>
<p>"I'm a pretty low-maintenance kind of guy," Lopez, 34, told PEOPLE</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>"I'd like to be with someone who is secure with themselves. She has to understand that I have a lot going on and I'm busy."</p></blockquote>
<p>I think right after he said that he started laughing uncontrollably for several minutes, then sighed and said "someone place a perfect set of boobs before me, so that I may rest my penis in between them while I continue this interview."</p>
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(5)
June fth, 2008 at 07:22 pm
Isn't he gay?
June fth, 2008 at 04:13 pm
What a d-bag.
June fth, 2008 at 01:06 pm
...Penis.
June fth, 2008 at 04:38 am
What is seriously hysterical is Mario Lopez is a tiny guy...
Seriously a shrimp... like 5' 2"
I was outside of a Dallas Night Club when I looked down and to my right as some random wrapper on the ground.. and Mario Lopez was standing right there with some hotties next to him..
I did not say anything to him because I did not want to embarrass him... but he is a tiny little bitch..
June fth, 2008 at 01:31 am
It's odd that he didn't mention the number one requirement for his dream girl. She must have a huge penis.
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