Roger Clemens Popped Viagra Before Game Time?

June 9th, 2008 | 05:19

There are some times when I definitely do not want a boner: The beach, locker room of my gym, dancing with my mom at my brother's wedding, and most certainly not when I'm pitching in Yankee Stadium. But, apparently Roger Clemens thinks the benefits of Viagra on his game outweigh the chance of the humiliation that is accompanied by a public boner. Nydailynews.com reports:

Roger Clemens has apparently discovered the benefits of another performance-enhancing drug sweeping the sports world - Viagra.

Clemens stashed the clearly marked, diamond-shaped pills in a GNC vitamin bottle in his locker.

Among the off-label uses for Viagra: Delivers oxygen, nutrients and performance-enhancing drugs to muscles more efficiently

I wonder if when Clemens trainer gave it to him, Clemens was like "But what if I get a boner when I'm playing." At which point the trainer was like, "Don't worry, I've brought in an expert in hiding boners." (13 year old kid walks in) "This is Bobby Timmons, he's hid over five hundred boners in his home room class in the last six months alone. He'll walk you through it. The floor is yours Bobby." "Alright Mr. Clemens, the first thing you want to do is turn your back to the crowd, then bend at the waist and simultaneously pull the front of your pants away from your body..."

But wait, the plot thickens. Apparently Clemens was first introduced to the drug by a teammate.