The 8 Places You Probably Lost Your Virginity
You always remember where you were when you lost your virginity, and most of the time you wish you could forget it.
8. THE BATHROOM OF A FRAT HOUSE
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: You were pretty excited for the Kappa Delta Gamma party, so you put on your favorite striped shirt, a few dabs of Drakkar Noir and headed out for the evening. After downing a large number of vodka shooters, lemon drops and a Coors Lite beer funnel, you spy the lady of your dreams. She’s mildly overweight, has a decent case of acne and coke-bottle glasses, but through your cheap booze goggles, she looks like a combination between Carmen Electra and Angelina Jolie. After a few minutes of chatting, you ask her if she would like to go to the bathroom. Her low self-esteem forces her to say yes and you are on your way. During intercourse over the the toilet you mistake one of her stomach rolls for a breast and fondle it for the entire 45 seconds of condomless sex. Once it’s over, you confidently return to the party and inform your friends of your endeavor, where you are called “Fatty Fats Fucker” and “Pork Chop Porker” for the rest of your college career.
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HER PERSPECTIVE: You got talked into going to this party by your dorm mate. Once there, you ask for a drink and are handed an incredibly stiff vodka soda by some guy named Randy, who’s wearing a popped collar Lacoste shirt. Three drinks later Randy’s “Little Bro” (who also happens to be named Randy) says he thinks you’re in his psychology class. You drink more to attempt to make him more tolerable and the next thing you know, you went to the bathroom to puke and you’re mid intercourse. Afterwards he starts crying about how it’s his first time and he’s sorry if it wasn’t good and to please please please not tell any of the other Bros that he cried like a bitch. Then he tells you he loves you and throws up.
7. SPRING BREAK
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: After hearing “Margaritaville” for the fourth time in three hours and taking a “serious toke off a seriously serious bong” you hit the beach to check out a bonfire one of your brodawg pals heard about. After ingesting more marijuana than you ever have in your entire life you make a “Me love you bong time” joke that gets a laugh from a girl who is equally as high as you. After having a really deep conversation about how the “Stars are projectors,” and “Space is just, like, time plus matter multiplied by, like, freon,” you wander off behind a sand dune to consummate your relationship with your new spiritual partner. Being as high as you are, you forget exactly what you’re supposed to be doing behind the dune. Then, after a few perplexed moments of awkwardly looking at each other, you remember why you’re there and lie on top of her while your vaguely erect penis momentarily grazes her bone-dry minge. The next day you refer to yourself as “playa” and tell your friends a very different story of how you “tapped that ass.”
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HER PERSPECTIVE: When it actually happened, you kind of thought that this was a truly beautiful experience that transcended the physical realm. Then, the next day, when you came out of your pot-fueled stupor you realized that he was kind of sweaty and gross and you don’t really like the smell of month-old hemp necklaces, and Birkenstocks are actually really stupid looking…and maybe it’s time to focus a little more on school so you can get a real job someday instead of hanging out with those kind of guys.
6. HOTEL AFTER PROM
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: You shelled out top dollar for the Holiday Inn non-smoking room, and your older brother purchased you a bottle of Jack Daniels as well as a six pack of Mike’s hard lemonade so that you would have both hard and non-hard liquor—giving your date no excuses for not drinking. When you arrive after the prom, you casually say, “let’s sit on the bed and look through our yearbooks/pictures from the prom tonight.” The minute you hit the bed, Mr. Erection shows his face and it’s all you can do not to throw that year book or camera out the fucking window. Finally the pictures are done and after a few moments of awkward silence you make your move. Most likely you’re way too horny or drunk to remove all your clothing, so the pile of pants and underwear around your ankles combined with your drunkeness make it hard for you to do your business. The result is you to sort of lay on top of her and sloppily roll around like a fat seal until you’re finished.
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HER PERSPECTIVE: Most likely you told your girlfriends several times at prom when they asked you if you were gonna do it, “I guess prom is a cool time to lose it right?” Then you pounded your sprite that you had spiked with peppermint schnapps. When the deed finally happens, you’re mostly just hoping nothing happens to the dress you’re wearing because you’re planning on taking it back or wearing it again, and either way, a semen stain fucks up the plan. At this point you’re wasted, so you don’t care that he’s basically making out with your left eyeball and finger banging your belly button which he thinks is your clitoris. When he finally sticks it in, you realize that his stank of B.O. and Jack Daniels have created a memory that will last even longer than even the shitty painting of a boat that’s adorning the wall next to the bathroom that you’re staring at for a focus point to make the room stop spinning.
5. BACKSEAT OF A CAR
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: Hotels rooms cost money, and since you just gave a homeless guy 24 dollars to buy you two forties of Old English, you didn’t exactly have money to blow on fancy shit like “a room with a bed.” After drinking the last ounce of your forty (which was approximately 84 degrees farenheit and consisting mostly of saliva and chunks of sirloin tip from your dinner at Black Angus), you went in for the kiss, and after a few moments grazed her boob and waited for a reaction. Then you braced one foot against the door and another against the passenger side seat, accidentally crushing the binder you use for homeroom, then pumped away for two and a half minutes.
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HER PERSPECTIVE: You held back the urge to vomit due to his entire weight pushing against your stomach which was filled with 40 ounces of malt liquor and top sirloin, while you repeatedly told him “it’s cool” when he incessantly apologized for first dropping the condom rapper underneath his box of road flares and then for his inability to actually put his penis into your vagina on his own, which according to him was due to the logistics of the back seat, and not his unfamiliarity with vaginas.
4. CONFESIONAL BOOTH
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: It had been a little while since you’d been to church, so you decided it was a good idea to go into confession. While you were there, you told the priest about all the times you’d taken the Lord’s name in vain, when you’d deceived your parents and went over a few of your recent impure thoughts in great detail. Then, all of a sudden there was a penis in your butthole and you weren’t a virgin anymore.
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM THE PRIEST’S PERSPECTIVE: Yeah yeah yeah, you took the Lord’s name in vain, sinned against our everlasting lord and saviour Jesus Christ blah blah blah. Just say a few Hail Mary’s, a few more Our Father’s, then put my penis in your butthole and you will go to heaven.
3. PARENT’S BASEMENT
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: Unfortunately your bedroom was pretty near your parent’s bedroom, and since everything you know about sex to this point came from a porno film, you’re pretty sure the pleasuring of any woman will cause her to scream things like “oh fuck yes” and “fuck my pussy,” at decibel levels loud enough to be heard through several walls. Thus, you suggest to your girlfriend, “Let’s watch Happy Gilmore on the big TV in the basement.” Before Happy hits his first drive, you’ve moved towards her side of the couch, a couch which your mom tried to give away because it smelled like Labrador and ass sweat. When you finally get to do the deed, you have trouble figuring out where to plant your hands due to the couch having weak arm rests and way too worn cushions that have now enveloped your girlfriend like a patch of quick sand. When you’re finished, you attempt to hide the condom somewhere where you can grab it later and safely dispose of it, so your parents don’t see you with it when you come upstairs.
HOW IT WENT DOWN FOR HER PERSPECTIVE: You’re hoping he doesn’t take too long, because the frame of the couch is digging into your back, which is much more painful than the breaking of your hymen. Finally when he does finish, he decides to lay on top of you for about 50 seconds, during this time you’re pretty sure the couch has now fused with your body. You pray for him to get off you, or for death, which ever one comes first.
2. TOP BUNK AT SUMMER CAMP
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: You and the other counselors waited till the campers were asleep and got stoned off your ass. Then after retreating back to your room to eat a bag of hydrox and downing four Capri suns, you grow some balls and venture into the girls cabin, towards the counselor’s bunk whom you’ve been making out/copping feels with all summer . She sees you and gives the “slide into my bunk” face, which in the dark looks a lot like the “what the fuck are you doing here,” face. You take the chance it’s the former. In the bunk you very very very slowly engage in intercourse which unfortunately consists of putting it in, and then sort of slightly wiggling around until you’re done. Then you throw the condom out the window near her bunk, which most likely hits one of a group of boy campers who have hid outside in an attempt to hear you screwing.
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HER PERSPECTIVE: You’re high as hell, and pretty much ready to drift off to sleep when you see an acne-covered face emerge from the bottom bunk. You’ve had a crush on him all summer and know from the instant erections he gets when you make out, that this shouldn’t take long and you’ll be sleeping shortly.
1. EUROPE
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE: At first, a trip to Rome with your parents sounded pretty lame. But you have absolutely nothing else going on in your life, so you tag along with them anyway. After dinner with Mom and Dad, you tell them you’re going to go “for a walk” and head off to the bar district. Knowing very little Italian, you sit alone in a couple bars and end up talking to absolutely no one. Since you’re determined to make a night of it, and because you promised all your friends back home that you were going to get laid in Europe, you ask the bartender where the nearest “prostituta casa” is and head in that direction. When the deed is complete you’re more relieved than satisfied and wonder if you’ll have to pay for sex for the rest of your life.
HOW IT WENT DOWN FROM HER PERSPECTIVE: This is my third one tonight. Jesus, business is booming. Is there some sort of conference in town? It’s not World Cup or anything is it? I can never keep track of those goddamn sports tournaments. Why are they so popular anyway? Weird. Shit, I really need to do some laundry. Oh, and I have to pick up that dry cleaning. Why do I always keep forgetting that? I should write that down. You’re done? That’ll be 150 Euros.
June 11th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
best site ever
June 11th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Her Dad’s pool table.
June 11th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
God your a shitty writer.
Really, let me repeat, you are a hack of a writer.
And honestly, I was looking to laugh.
June 11th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
HA!! Summer camp….it’s like you know me..
June 11th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Common Walrus, your not really mean that don’t you no?
June 11th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Well Cory, in Walrus’s defense, it is difficult to spell check three lines of text. Let’s not let his message about us sucking be lost due to his misuse of “your.” That said, I could tell from his tone that he meant you suck more than I suck.
June 11th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Dumb. Cliche. I don’t need to read all of the words to know that you are working on the most surface level.
Good luck with that.
June 11th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Walrus,
Don’t be a dick. Be nice to people. The writing was fine.
June 11th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
for me it was the drive way [does the make a whore?]
June 11th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Friends basement on new years, oh ya.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Fu ck you walrus. You’re such a cunt.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Bathroom at a party! How did you know…?
June 11th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Boyfriend’s bedroom, his apartment.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Almost right. I was in the bathroom, but not at a party, but I WAS drunk.
So close enough?
June 12th, 2008 at 1:46 am
you forgot the more obvious and common: your parent’s bedroom (with the maid)…
June 12th, 2008 at 2:45 am
A tent, grass everywhere, ughh.
Also the writing was fine.
June 12th, 2008 at 4:18 am
This one time at band camp…
June 12th, 2008 at 4:54 am
Really? Not “boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s bedroom?”
I just kind of scanned for it, and was disappointed.
June 12th, 2008 at 5:02 am
Am I the only one that lost my virginity in the forest?
June 12th, 2008 at 5:02 am
church parking lot after school parked in my cadi, dunno about most churches but at that one -no one was ever there except wed&sunday mwuahahahaaaaaaaaa
June 12th, 2008 at 5:06 am
great great greaat post!
was wondering if the quality of the articles here went down. . but you proved me wrong.
June 12th, 2008 at 5:08 am
Great stuff, love your web site. I haven’t been reading in a while, but I think I will now.
June 12th, 2008 at 5:09 am
>> Fu ck you walrus. You’re such a cunt.
Sorry, I disagree. There is a huge difference between a walrus and a cunt. One is fishy and has whiskers. The other is a walrus.
June 12th, 2008 at 5:19 am
You came to a website called Holy Taco, clicked a link that involves 8 places you lost your virginity and expected… what? Shakespeare?
June 12th, 2008 at 5:42 am
Well I’m disappointed … I didn’t see “In your brothers girlfriend”. Are you suggesting I’m some kind of a freak?
Oh … I see location…
Yeah, we used his bed too.☻
June 12th, 2008 at 5:53 am
# walrus Says:
June 11th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
“God your a shitty writer.
Really, let me repeat, you are a hack of a writer.
And honestly, I was looking to laugh.”
you’re
June 12th, 2008 at 7:14 am
Hahaha, I actually lost mine on a cruise ship from Italy to Greece on a school trip.
June 12th, 2008 at 8:16 am
@ifunny
i lol’d
June 12th, 2008 at 8:22 am
Started in the shower, finished soaking wet on her bed with the sheets plastered to us. Then she gets up, matter-of-factly uses a tissue to whipe her donkey fist and says “damn you have a lot of cum.” Yeah…she was classy.
June 12th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Breaking into a public pool after hours.
Best ever.
I think I was more of a pro then than I am now. Everyone has to try it in the pool with a slut that has a lot of natural lube.
June 12th, 2008 at 8:40 am
You forgot school…. high school football field all the way babe
June 12th, 2008 at 9:26 am
What about the good ol’ hot tub?
June 12th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Ha…. in a hotel but not after prom.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:01 am
You’re is a contraction for you are.
Either is acceptable.
I respect you are more. It is more formal sounding.
i.e.
I will not sleep with fat chicks. vs.
I won’t sleep with fat chicks.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:05 am
i lost my virginity to my dads new wife which is going to be my new mother but please dont tell my dad
June 12th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Am i the only one here who had sex inside of an oberweis ice cream parlor? lol
June 12th, 2008 at 11:59 am
wow danny, you’re fucking weird.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
8 places I lost my virginity?
I only lost it once, the other times were just sex.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
my bed, free house, my boyfriend.
am i boring or wht :L
June 12th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
hotel room in whistler . chea!
June 12th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I lost mine watching A Man Apart in my room on surround sound while my parents were in the living room. Surprised I did not see “on the beach” or
“in the rain”.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Yeah… I guess doing it in a bedroom is so passé these days. By the way, I nominate JohnBoyWalton for comment of the week.
June 12th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Well I guess I’m just plain boring, lol… I lost my het-virginity, to my boyfriend at the time, in my own bedroom. I lost my homo-virginity to my girlfriend at the time, in her bedroom.
June 12th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
You forgot the Boy Scout Jamboree.
June 12th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Haha, I guess the RV isn’t in this one is it?
June 12th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Back seat of the car after Prom. It was a good time.
June 12th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
In Russia, virginity loses you.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:28 am
After school, in the faculty lounge…. yeah.
Screw prom, thats like 420, for amateurs.
June 13th, 2008 at 4:14 am
How about this one for size:
I lost my virginity at my girlfriend’s parent’s house, pretty much under instruction from her father.
Oh, and the pack of trojans my aunt gave me for the trip… did not fit… at all… hurt to put them on, and that was before the flag was raised. So the experience was less than… optimal…
June 13th, 2008 at 5:27 am
Sounds like the writer never lost her virginity - sure the first time is awful, but maybe this raging dyke should eat some carpet and STFU.
Also, backseat of the car ftw.
June 13th, 2008 at 6:47 am
Louise, I’m with you! I ditched school with my girlfriend, my bed, middle of the day so we could take our time. Then my dad called the house while we were going at it. And yes, my dumb ass picked up the phone!
June 13th, 2008 at 6:49 am
Walrus, very nice of you to criticize the writing when you can’t distinguish between you and you’re. FYI, you’re is a ocntraction indicating you are, your is possessive now get back to studying for the SATs you soon to be state school dropout.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:23 am
RV parked in her driveway with her best friend watching. I believe that was a little uncomfortable for her firend but probably not as uncomfortable as when I did her in a playground tunnel.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:43 am
you suck at writing. fail fail
June 13th, 2008 at 7:54 am
In my bedroom that I grew up in, house empty, with the hottest girl I’ve ever had sex with and who I loved but who eventually turned out to be annoyingly dumb. It was her first time too and apparently enjoyed it since afterward she said we’ll have to do that again with a smile but unfortunately we never did. Only odd thing was that she kept her legs straight, I didn’t think to bend them for her.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:31 am
That article rules. Most men think they’re studs, and most women give it away too easily, and then they wonder why they lack self respect.
LOL
June 13th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Niiiiiiiiiiiicccce.
How about this, back of a charter bus full of kids on a band trip.
June 13th, 2008 at 9:18 am
highschool darkroom, photography class…
June 13th, 2008 at 9:37 am
hahah this was great…. dont worry about what all these posers are writing…. they dont have friends anyways…
June 13th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Girlfriend’s room in a dormitory at an all-womens college during “no male visitors” hours…
June 13th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Jesus, how do you miss dorm room? Or at least, my dorm room bed with a girl I hated 48 hours before, who happened to be my floormate’s sister. It didnt help that afterwards, she admitted that she blew her brother. Great, I have THAT one in the book for life moments.
June 13th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Lost mine at summer camp. An all-boy’s summer camp. (Don’t worry - he was the same age as me.)
June 13th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Mike, that’s pretty weird…
But at least you didn’t blow your brother… I’d much rather have the fact that I slept with a girl who committed incest in my book than committing incest.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Lol “Europe”
June 13th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
haha “parents basement”
June 13th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
A 5 star hotel in Morocco. Absolutely no complaints here.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:41 am
In a cemetary. No, we weren’t interrupted by funeral procession. I never found out ’til after that she was on her period. Yes, a memory that I still cherish.
June 14th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
In the desert in between my High School and a major road. I swear schoolbuses of people would pass by, and I just hoped and prayed no one could see my naked ass.
June 15th, 2008 at 12:43 am
it was almost on a roof… haha, a school roof… neither of us went to that school.
but it ended up being in a changing room… with people around… pretty great. lol.
and i’m suprised, somebody else did it in a playground tunnel =D
June 15th, 2008 at 2:57 am
cousin’s husband for 7 years in thier room… i felt bad…4 months later they split up.
June 15th, 2008 at 5:52 am
LOL I think I’ve got you all beat! I had sex for my first time in a public pool in front of about 1000 people! Oh god, it was awesome..
No, I lied.. about the awesome part, everything else is true
June 15th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Backseat of my car.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:43 am
Outstanding and well written. It was the back seat of a 1969 Camaro in the Summer of 1981 for me after a Rush concert!
JT
http://www.Ultimate-Anonymity.com
June 16th, 2008 at 5:41 am
couch
June 16th, 2008 at 6:55 am
we over at EAR FARM enjoyed this post so much we made a corresponding 8 Places You Probably Lost Your Virginity mix…
checkit:
http://earfarm.com/crop-rotation/585
June 16th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Death Metal Maniac Says:
June 13th, 2008 at 8:31 am
That article rules. Most men think they’re studs, and most women give it away too easily, and then they wonder why they lack self respect.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh NO YOU DID NOT just say that!
FUMF,’women’ don’t “give it away”, GIRLS give it away.
This article was funny
June 16th, 2008 at 9:37 am
airplane restroom!…
adrenaline was all over our blood
hehehehe
June 16th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Damn, Ashley, 7 years? That’s pretty impressive.
Lost mine on a park bench and had a family bike past us with two small, old enough to be scarred for life, children. I don’t regret it, fuck other people and their future mental issues.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Oops, I meant Tiffany, still, that’s a long-ass time to fuck.
June 18th, 2008 at 4:11 am
With Rosie the Mexican pro in the B-47 Club in Nogales, Sonora. We remained friends for years.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:22 am
europe. but not to a prostitute, to my roommate’s friend, in my bed.
it was awful. i ended up vomited on. great experience! lol not.
June 19th, 2008 at 2:01 am
i thought it was pretty fucking funny…
June 19th, 2008 at 3:05 am
in the front seat of my car…would’ve been in her parent’s driveway, but she wanted to go around the corner
June 19th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Ex-girlfriend’s bedroom.
I took a few virgins out in some of the other ones tho.
Backseat of my car.
Her parent’s basement.
Our friend’s brother’s bedroom on New Years Eve.
June 19th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Venezuelan brothel at the Ambassador Hotel in Caracas before Chavez took over (the country, not the brothel)
June 20th, 2008 at 3:21 am
In my Grandma’s bed - with my Grandpa.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:28 am
In the House Pad-Dock, next to the Gen-Set with a Goat. But it was a female Goat, ’cause I ain’t no Puffter.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:34 am
It was a long time ago at a mate’s place in his bedroom. I fucked a PIG, and then ended up marrying her !!
June 20th, 2008 at 3:34 am
Do Dwarfs Count ??
June 20th, 2008 at 5:58 am
Brothel???
June 20th, 2008 at 6:42 am
Neverland Ranch. I was promised lots of toys
June 20th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
In the bunk of an 18 wheeler.
June 21st, 2008 at 4:47 pm
It was at a party with the birthday boy. Both of my best friends watched. I hit my head on the wall and said “fucccccccccccck” very loudly. He took that as a good sign.
June 23rd, 2008 at 4:32 pm
It was in a Sauna… Word to the not so wise, “don’t do it”.
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Lost mine in a dorm, never seen her again. Funny thing is, I was straight out of army boot camp, so I was fit as an pro athlete. Not to mention horny as hell.
Funny thing, when people in the rooms next to you start turning on their TV at 3am, or shout things as “Geeeeez, you´re done yet?”, “Get it over with, I need to sleep!” or “Fucking hell I have a exam tomorrow! So would you pleeeeaaaaaaseeee suck him dry finally?”
July 1st, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Hope they all were wearing the new spray on condom. Check out a demonstration here.
http://www.thelinkist.com/2008/06/death-of-condom.html
July 6th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Lost mine in the front yard of my friends house while we were waiting for her mom to come pick us up and take us to the movies. For added fun, try and guess what grade i was in.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:08 am
Lost mine in my parents livingroom on a white sofa.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Try bottom bunk at Church Camp…
After briefly fondling his man-parts, we decided that we might as well, “get it over with,” and proceeded to my room where he dry humped me until he got it in. Pain ensued not only in my nether regions, but also on the top part of my head which banged against the wall with each emphatic thrust.
It was magical.
July 16th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Yeah, I was looking for bf/gf bedroom with the door open to be on here…maybe I am a little adventerous but I think a lot of my firneds did the same!
July 26th, 2008 at 2:44 am
How bout tent at the Camp? *LOL*
July 29th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
the woods behind my high school! ha!
July 30th, 2008 at 7:31 am
How about a laser tag room haha
July 30th, 2008 at 9:04 am
man.. doesnt anyone have any romantic stories?? jeez >.<
July 30th, 2008 at 9:41 am
The curch…. wow
July 30th, 2008 at 11:15 am
FUTON LOVIN!
July 30th, 2008 at 11:15 am
we were lame… my room with everyone home
but i cant complain since we’re still together and fucking like crazy.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
my g/f, at the time, and I lost our V cards together in her parents basement on the floor. we held out for about a year and a half of dating before intercourse. I asked her how it was. she explained it in one word,”Liberating”. I could not have said it better myself.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
on the balconey off my boyfriend’s room in high school……..which in theory is kinda cool, but in reality i remember being extremely pissed because he thought it’d be funny to pause and turn on meatloaf’s “paradise by the dashboard light”, thus provinghis apparent ignorance of the fact that 1) we were not in a car and 2) Meatloaf is an annoying and untalented musician that happened to wrote an extremely aggravating song that now causes me to cringe every time i hear it.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Army barracks!
July 30th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
How about in a park, in the rain? It was the best!
July 30th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I lost my virginity in my imagination. =(
July 30th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
my parent’s bed
July 30th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Mile High Club Ladies and Gents =]
July 30th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
The back seat of my baby blue 1989 pontiac grand am. i can safely say it was the best 45 seconds of her life. i am a god.
July 30th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
New Years, Resort, Mexico. After way too much tequila. At age 13. I feel dirty.
July 31st, 2008 at 1:52 am
Inside the walk-in fridge of a White Hen (for those who don’t know White Hen, think 7-11), right behind the milk. Oh, and stopping every few minutes when she had to go out and ring up a customer.
July 31st, 2008 at 7:30 am
Is it just me, or is this article really sexist? Every male perspective makes them look like crap, and every female perspective makes them look aloof and uncaring. I’m pretty sure both sexes have their shares of people who are terrible at sex, not just men. I mean christ, it’s not like every woman in the world lies there like a dead fish, idly pondering if she left the oven on.
July 31st, 2008 at 7:55 am
Funny stuff..
BUT Carly Elwes and Danny Glover aren’t locked in the bathroom in Saw.
Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell are.
Other then that, awesome!
July 31st, 2008 at 12:51 pm
OMG — hilarious!
Bedroom, when the ‘rents weren’t home. Best 3 minutes of my life. ;D
July 31st, 2008 at 1:08 pm
…with this girl, who had been stalking me, on her couch -> living room floor.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:53 pm
How is it that no one has said “your mom’s house” yet?
What the fuck?
August 1st, 2008 at 5:55 am
In her bed while her husband was at Myrtle Beach with his mistress.
August 1st, 2008 at 7:01 am
front seat of a car while in the country with mates
was drunken, and she kicked the hazard lights on
allowing most to know what was going on
quite funny!
August 1st, 2008 at 8:46 pm
a public bathroom with another girl… hehe.
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
My bedroom, for 45 minutes and still didn’t nut. All though either she was having trouble breathing or she was having an orgasm. I pick the latter.
August 3rd, 2008 at 11:43 am
Lost mine in my bedroom at my parent’s house. It rocked because we went there after school let out and after fucking a few times I ended up going to a huge party with all kinds of booze with her to sort of celebrate the occassion.
August 4th, 2008 at 6:20 am
On my sister’s bedroom floor with her best friend who was sleeping over. After a lot of fumbling it finally went in and I finished after a few seconds. From the sounds coming from my sis in the bed, she seem’d to be enjoying the experience too.
August 5th, 2008 at 5:40 am
After party of a high school play.The party hosts little sisters room, also my first time drinking.
August 5th, 2008 at 8:11 am
I’m pretty sure ‘rapper’ has a W.
Condom wrapper.
Yeah that sounds right.
August 5th, 2008 at 8:36 am
I’ve NEVER seen a frat bathroom that clean. I mean, the toilet doesn’t even have piss around the rim.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:31 am
my bed, my boss 4 years older than me, no liqour….haha
August 6th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
“God your a shitty writer.
Really, let me repeat, you are a hack of a writer.
And honestly, I was looking to laugh.”
God, you’re a shitty writer.
Really, let me repeat: you are a hack of a writer.
And, honestly, I was looking for a laugh.
I fixed that for you. English is fun!
August 6th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
back seat of a car. every word was true lol.
August 6th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
i lost mine to my boss who was 10 years older then me… eventhough at the time id already stopped working for him, so it doesnt really count:P
August 6th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I’m absolutely shocked that I seem to be the first person here to say “dorm room”. It was… well… not my best work, but I beat the average by far. Still, there was no doubt a lot of fumbling and stuff going on, to be sure.
August 7th, 2008 at 3:55 am
Actually, i can hoenstly say that i’m 16 and still 100% pure!!! anyone wanna fuck?
philippians_4_verse_13@hotmail.com…. let me know. I live in Australia!
August 7th, 2008 at 8:12 am
my best mates bed while she was in the livingroom with my boyfriends brother and best friend haaa
August 7th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Aww the place where I lost my virginity wasn’t there.. on a persian prayer rug
August 7th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
It was all going grand til the priest reference? Why the hell did you lower yourself? Didnt make it funnier, merely set it at a certain level.
http://www.anymorepics.com
the HOTTEST celeb pics on the net (12000+).
August 7th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
on the ground in a park in the middle of the night haha
August 7th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Same, except the sprinklers came on right as we started…
August 8th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
No dressing room? Damn that was scary but worth it.
August 8th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Haha look at the only anonymous person from August 6th. He/she rips on the author for being a “shitty writer” but somehow cannot spell you’re right. It’s not your, you don’t own a shitty writer.
August 9th, 2008 at 12:05 am
With my g/f, who is al so my ex’s sister, in their guest room which had power ranger sheets on it…. oh and my ex was down stairs and she heard all 30 min of it…. it was BAD A$$
August 9th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
The lay out bed of my friend’s grandparent’s cruising van after homecoming.
Classy as fuck.
August 12th, 2008 at 11:27 am
bathroom in a hotel while on a high school chior trip in boston
August 12th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Cuboard/attic room at my boyfriends house. his dad walked in.
August 12th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
with my teammates wife on the beach. would’ve gotten away with it except i was so drunk i didn’t notice all the hickeys she was giving me. next morning all hell broke loose when he found me on the floor of my hotel room all marked up. i was 17 she was 23 with two kids.
August 13th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
On the couch of my BF’s parent’s house,
but we moved to his bed cuz we didn’t want to get blood everywhere!
;D
(damn, i wish I had a better one than that, It just never occurred to me to fuck in the bushes or a church parking lot till after I had lost it…)
August 13th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
pizza place.
August 15th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Lawn furniture at a party in front of a bunch of people. I was too drunk to put a condom on properly, but thankfully was also too drunk to blow my load.
August 15th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Sad…
I looked for the boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s room also.
All except it was in his room, with the door open, covers off, and his dog watching. Thank god his mother wasn’t home.
I still laugh at that experience. Wonderful and hilarious at the same time. Best 7 minutes of my life.
We’re still together. He kicks his dog out now. If we’re at his mom’s house.
August 16th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Under the bleachers at the high school football field
August 23rd, 2008 at 11:26 am
my room!
August 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
In her room after we came from Easter Sunday’s dinner. We beat her parents home.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
dorm room
August 28th, 2008 at 8:25 am
I wish you could write better. :/
August 29th, 2008 at 10:13 am
my own bed whilst parents were out :p
August 29th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
on my friend’s bed…… while he was trying to break the door down to keep me from screwing on his bed….. with his older sister btw
August 30th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
boyfriend’s bedroom =\ BORING.
listening to weezer’s blue album though
August 31st, 2008 at 5:13 pm
In a Dock house over looking the lake at sunset
September 1st, 2008 at 12:32 am
boyfriend’s bedroom. no one home. classic. borring. but still.
four times. LonGggg sessions.
first. to new born by muse
his fave band
best day of my life.
still together.
September 1st, 2008 at 8:57 am
at the end of summer before school started was out drinking bumped into this hot guy and we went back to my school and broke in. it was so much fun!!my school has camera’s and when i went back to school in fall i was so scaared i was caught we left empty cans of beer in there too!
September 1st, 2008 at 10:57 pm
playground in the middle of the night! woohoo!
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:55 pm
in a movie theatre that was completely empty except for me and my then-boyfriend
oh yeah
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Her mom’s bed, after her mom giving us the condom. at 14
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
With my good friend Jill. (Place ur right hand on a desk and see what that spells.)
September 24th, 2008 at 7:58 am
In the airplane. I joined the mile high club and lost my virginity.
We’re married now with 2 kids! Haha.
September 24th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
try your boyfriend’s friend’s brother’s bedroom floor after a couple seriously serious bong rips.
September 24th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Back of a pickup when I was 14 taking my boyfriend at the time home. While my mom was driving.. Yup yup..
September 25th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Written in a shitty manner…that’s about it. That fact took away from its enjoyment.
September 27th, 2008 at 12:18 am
During Church, on a random car’s bonnet while on the streets (at night)
September 27th, 2008 at 10:32 am
i lots it in a bathroom in iraq with my married sgt friend
September 27th, 2008 at 10:32 am
i lost it in a bathroom in iraq with my married sgt friend
September 28th, 2008 at 2:28 am
I met a beautiful scottish girl on my travels. It was nice, yes?
September 30th, 2008 at 4:58 am
Holiday house in Namibia - That’s in the South West Coast of Africa for all you Republicans.
September 30th, 2008 at 5:00 am
Holiday house in Namibia - That’s in the South West coast of Africa for all you Republicans
October 6th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Well, I pretty much did the hymen breaking myself. We tried once, and it wouldn’t go in, so I went to the bathroom and did a little exploring… I can’t believe I never put anything in there until I was like 17 haha. So the next time we did it, I was already on the rag, in his bed, at his parent’s house. The headboard was banging and everyone was asleep downstairs. Also, a really really loud ass-smack that we still crack up about. It was awesome, and we’ve been together ever since.