Do you ever wonder why certain people are famous? Especially when they are four-foot gremlin-faced whores? Well, here's the story, according to a friend of mine who worked at StuffMagazine.com (the website for the now defunct Stuff Magazine.)
Back in 2005, the editor-in-chief of Stuff magazine wanted to capitalize on the popularity of the Internet. He called down to the online department and said, "Hey, tell me who has a lot of Myspace friends," because he wanted to put someone on the cover of Stuff who had a "lot of Myspace friends." The brilliant marketing plan behind this was based on the thinking that if someone on the cover had a million Myspace friends, then all those "friends" would buy that magazine and sales would skyrocket. What it showed, instead, was a complete lack of understanding of how the Internet works. When someone has a million Myspace friends, it just means that he/she spends the majority of his/her day clicking "add as a friend" or "accept." They aren't pals who sit around and reminisce about the good times they've had.
So, the online guy took 10 seconds (honestly, 10 seconds) and found a girl with an assload of MySpace friends. That, girl, of course, was Tila Tequila, and she appeared on the April 2006 cover of Stuff.
The editor's big plan failed (the cover sold the same as every other one), but Tila Tequila somehow got famous. A girl whose biggest claim to fame up to that point had been a Playboy cyber girl in 2002 (which is basically the sewage drain of wannabe models) and some other crap you never saw. She even attempted to enter Maxim's Hometown Hotties in 2005, but was too stupid to mail in the proper forms.
Instead of letting Tila fade off into the world of failed models who end up in hardcore pornography, the Stuff cover put her in the mainstream media. Now we have to hear her singing about sucking cock til she hurls and see her star in yet another reality show. Thanks, Stuff Magazine.
Seriously... when I go to her MySpace page to troll her forums and see all the loser shits who posted "OMG YOU'RE SO HOT I WANNA FUCK YOU" I lose a little hope for humanity.
With people like that running the mag, it's amazing it failed. It's a shame because right before the mag folded they were going to do a 'Girls of Online Gaming' cover based on most friends and hottness of voice.
I'm not sure which is worse...that awful magazine or Tila Tequila. It's like when two morbidly obese people get married...you're happy they found each other but you secretly want to vomit b/c the thought of them procreating makes your eyes bleed.
[tila]: i like to f**k sexy boys sexy girls
i like to f**k like the pants dirty curls
i like to f**k suck cock untill i hurl
i like to f**k everybody in the world
michael jackson
a shot of tequila gets em real hot
i blow of the door to showride the hot block
squirt like the wipers on my hot car
ama ma se ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa
suckin on my titties so milky
i get dirty with it i so filthy
do it like u wanna make a baby yeah milfy
if it aint yours u can still come and show me righttttt
All I hear is a bunch of jealous people here... who cares if she's a slut!! The majority of women in the industry are too, and who cares that she has a reality show I'd rather watch her than Flava Flav!! Realistically take away though women make-up artist and the all look like poo ie. Oprah Winfrey Yet she was voting one of the most beautiful women. bottom line, get the hate out your blood. i'm not saying she's hott and i dont even have her as a friend on myspace, she's just some random chick who made it big good for her.
USAFdude, you're an idiot if you don't loathe her just a little. she makes people stupider when they have to hear her talk. just like reading your retarded little post just did.
To USAFDude...are you an idiot? Good for her that she made it? There are women out there struggling with the decision every day if they pay rent or buy their kids food and not because they chose to have 6 kids before their 22nd birthday. This is reality, I've seen it as a recruiter for scores of job fairs - people who work for a company 4 years and make about $8/hr. Fuck all the people who watch her shit and promote her shit...she deserves nothing and it's those idiots who buy, read or promote her shit that make her famous. You want a real women, let me take you to some of the small towns I've been in where real woman are making small miracles happen each day that never make the news...oh and some of them are damn hot too! I don't know what's worse, the no talent/skill ass clowns that make it big even for a few to score some cash or the idiots who promote their 15 minutes of fame.
Tila Nguyen (I think the 'Tequila' came along when she got on MySpace) actually has been around for ages in the Import car scene. I believe she started as a car girl and slowly moved herself up that ladder, and I'm guessing it was by sleeping with the promoters. She did plenty of modeling and appeared on flyers around California back in the day. I remember several times seeing and meeting her at Hot Import Nights.
(I sorta stood out, being a white guy and all.)
HAHAHA, this is GREAT! I'm betting cold hard cash that a woman wrote this article, can tell by the words used and the obvious envy dripping from the tone. Honestly, I didn't know who this person was until I read this article. How could that be, you ask?
Because only someone who spends as much time online as Tila could possibly be bothered to write an article about Tila, good or bad. So here we are, a writer at Holy Taco. How many more hours a day on Myspace could Tila possibly spend than you do here in the 'blogosphere' ?
The only difference in the two of you I can see: she succeeded, you didn't.
Does anyone stop and think about this? She is "oh-so into both men, AND women"...WOW...there's really NO COINCIDENCE HERE, men just hate it when 3'9" WEAK whores make out with other girls. Also, the bitch probably doesn't know shit about cars...she only poses to be that down-to-earth auto gal TO ATTRACT MORE DUMBFUCK COCK MEN. Dicks, you are only living up to your name by admitting you'd "hit that."
"Women" like tila bring out the Neanderthal-dumb-fuck-instincts that some men still hold.
All women are freaky with the right person but she's a superfreak with both sexes. Don't hate on her though. She's hot enough. I definitely wouldn't kick her out of my bed. I would just have to make it clear that it was purely sexual. No one wants to get old with a brainless whore though. Looks don't last forever.
She is nasty I do agree! Especially about her being four-foot gremlin-faced whore. If some people were thinking she is hot or that they would want to sleep with her then I guess there are always truly desperate people in the world...
funny read, however, i wish to challenge some factual information please.
you say "she was in a bunch of stuff you've never heard of" or very similar to...
my point is if you would have ever read a "tuner_car" type magazine you might have seen her as a tuner model years before she did stuff mag, when she created her myspace, she instantly had an influx of car guys and fans that saw her model.
PS, when she first hit the scene, her breasts looked better, and she was less gremlinish. Also, being short never hampered her career, and time will tell if her head is connected properly.
Eh, ok bod, but fugly face. I wouldn't hit it, yeah I got a pair.
So all you guys that would hit it are bi, right? Cause saying you'd hit it cause it's something to hit implies that you hit anything as long as it was squishy. And if you'd hit a no brains/talentless/fuck her way to the top/ugly ass biatch like that you would surly hit the goatse guy from the back.
Have fun fucking the most popular idiot evar! Then maybe after you drop your load, you'll look at her face and realize everything everyone is trying to say here, cause we all know after the load is dropped reality ensues.
"Especially when they are four-foot gremlin-faced whores?" I'm not really a fan of Tequila, but opening with a biased statement like that just kills your credibility. Learn how to write, you look like an asshole.
It's called jealously people. You don't have to watch her, but YOU DO...so again 25 million people can't be wrong. So, even though you hate her, welcome to her fan base!
uhh. well actually. she started out as an import model. like. i guess as an asian teenager at the time i really liked her, so i friended her. she also did stuff like playboy before that whole stuff magazine myspace thing.
She's got a bangin' body if you're into midgets but her face is totally fucked up. Paper bag that shit.
She's right up there with Jessica Simpson, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Jennifer Garner on my list of incredibly unhot women who walk around like hot shit.
It's like people are afraid to admit they're fugly just because the collective says otherwise (read: good marketing).
The author resorts to writing up pointless articles about other peoples' undeserved rise to fame because the local newspaper refused to even mention his name for fear that it might recall disturbing images of a geek whose features bare striking resemblance to that of a common toad.
No, but seriously you must have something better to do?
I would like to sticky my dicky up Tila's asscunt. I bet her nasty pussy smell like cum and shit and vomit mixed with gabage and rotting garbage. imagine that smell in your fucking nostrils you bastards!
I work with a bunch of vietnamese women that all look like Tila Tequila. Moon faced little elves with the body of a 10 year old boy, bad english, acne (from the western diet no doubt) and all have tiny-necked ladyboy husbands with bad teeth.
Tila is so lame, but at least she relishes her lameness. She now seems to think she's too good to show off her furry zinger to the camera so all of her non-playboy porn is just shots of her silicone boobies. Sorry Tila Nguyen, there's no such thing as a viet girl with big tits, yer not fooling anybody.
I love comments made by the defenders/critics like AnalJustice who apparently believe that this author does not have the right/a point/anything better to do in writing this article. They make it sound as though this article's criticism is misplaced or undeserved. I have only one question for these people: Have you ever watched the reality show Tila agreed to star in?
Had she never stepped in front of the camera and agreed to host the degrading acts that the "contestants" on her television show must perform I would have been more sympathetic to that criticism. Two minutes of watching that crap and she deserves everything these people are dishing out and more.
Is my english okay? You folks also tend to criticize grammar.
"four-foot gremlin-faced whore"
man i hope that makes her cry that black spackle on her eyes right down her pointless frenchfry of a body.
what a generic twit. so what if she likes girls and boys both, only in a backwards ass country like fratboy land would that be considered remotely radical. hurry off the media stage and go sling drinks in some douchebag bar, hey, wanna do some shots with me? fuck no.
and to all who say "yeah but I'd hit it"
you just got VD for even thinking that
Listen in everybody. I went to high school with Tila.
Here in Houston /tx in a little ghetto are4a we all ALIEF.
She was a slut sine high shool and still a fob. We had psychology and calculus together.
Since she was too ool she wouldn't talk to me. Now look at her she needs the atention and talks to those who have money. If I had money then would she talk to me? Would she even remember who I am? Doubt it. She is in the4 little world she;'s been wanting and now that she has it it will not last long anough. IT was Hastings High School!!!!!
IT is a surprise to see how the hell he got her own show o MTV.
Before all of the exposure she got, she used to show her ass in front of cars
posing as a car model. Later progressed making some nude work to reach her hungry starve fame. I don't see what any people up high there thought this FOB
annoying, and fake Asian is even worth earning that money,
She comes from am already rich Vietnamese family so they helped her, spolied her and since they didnt speak good english what-so-ever. You get the point how she now bacame that high school slut nto a bigger slut with shitty sense of clothing.
(99 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
June 22nd, 2008 at 04:12 pm
good job added to her googleness.
June 22nd, 2008 at 04:36 pm
Ugh. She's what, down here in Texas, we call "Road Lizards". You know, the prostitutes that hang out around truck stops....
http://andria-and-co.com
June 22nd, 2008 at 04:39 pm
The bitch is a slut. Plain and simple.
spot on with the 4ft gremlin comment though haha
June 22nd, 2008 at 05:29 pm
I was thinking...how about a picture of Brooke Hogan squirting a hot lunch on her forehead? Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassse.......
June 22nd, 2008 at 08:33 pm
Seriously... when I go to her MySpace page to troll her forums and see all the loser shits who posted "OMG YOU'RE SO HOT I WANNA FUCK YOU" I lose a little hope for humanity.
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Anybody see the movie, "Idiocracy"? Reality of this is, it's coming to a future near you. Give it time.
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:38 am
With people like that running the mag, it's amazing it failed. It's a shame because right before the mag folded they were going to do a 'Girls of Online Gaming' cover based on most friends and hottness of voice.
June 23rd, 2008 at 01:10 pm
I'm not sure which is worse...that awful magazine or Tila Tequila. It's like when two morbidly obese people get married...you're happy they found each other but you secretly want to vomit b/c the thought of them procreating makes your eyes bleed.
June 23rd, 2008 at 05:22 pm
GET LAID TONIGHT AT:
http://www.datingpeoples.com
June 23rd, 2008 at 05:49 pm
Actually Tila was a porn star before Stuff Magazine found her. She had done many softcore sets and a few hardcore before Stuff and MTV
June 23rd, 2008 at 05:54 pm
Id love to see photos of the writer of this article....or as Jesus Hilton once said..."may he / she who is truly hot cast the first stone."
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:06 pm
[tila]: i like to f**k sexy boys sexy girls
i like to f**k like the pants dirty curls
i like to f**k suck cock untill i hurl
i like to f**k everybody in the world
michael jackson
a shot of tequila gets em real hot
i blow of the door to showride the hot block
squirt like the wipers on my hot car
ama ma se ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa
suckin on my titties so milky
i get dirty with it i so filthy
do it like u wanna make a baby yeah milfy
if it aint yours u can still come and show me righttttt
----------
Please kill me.
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:15 pm
I once saw a picture of Tila Tequila standing waist-deep in water, and I've been afraid of the ocean ever since...
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:17 pm
All I hear is a bunch of jealous people here... who cares if she's a slut!! The majority of women in the industry are too, and who cares that she has a reality show I'd rather watch her than Flava Flav!! Realistically take away though women make-up artist and the all look like poo ie. Oprah Winfrey Yet she was voting one of the most beautiful women. bottom line, get the hate out your blood. i'm not saying she's hott and i dont even have her as a friend on myspace, she's just some random chick who made it big good for her.
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:28 pm
Yea she's an annoying idiot that probably has the emotional and intellectual iq of a peanut, but I'd still hit it. Don't lie you would too.
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:40 pm
"Lot Lizards" not "Road Lizard" they hang out at truck stops making a quick buck. A timeless profession
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:41 pm
USAFdude, you're an idiot if you don't loathe her just a little. she makes people stupider when they have to hear her talk. just like reading your retarded little post just did.
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:49 pm
To USAFDude...are you an idiot? Good for her that she made it? There are women out there struggling with the decision every day if they pay rent or buy their kids food and not because they chose to have 6 kids before their 22nd birthday. This is reality, I've seen it as a recruiter for scores of job fairs - people who work for a company 4 years and make about $8/hr. Fuck all the people who watch her shit and promote her shit...she deserves nothing and it's those idiots who buy, read or promote her shit that make her famous. You want a real women, let me take you to some of the small towns I've been in where real woman are making small miracles happen each day that never make the news...oh and some of them are damn hot too! I don't know what's worse, the no talent/skill ass clowns that make it big even for a few to score some cash or the idiots who promote their 15 minutes of fame.
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:49 pm
You're contributing to her fame by posting this article dumb fuck.
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:52 pm
"I'd fuck TV ugly" with a picture of TiTe
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:53 pm
Tila Nguyen (I think the 'Tequila' came along when she got on MySpace) actually has been around for ages in the Import car scene. I believe she started as a car girl and slowly moved herself up that ladder, and I'm guessing it was by sleeping with the promoters. She did plenty of modeling and appeared on flyers around California back in the day. I remember several times seeing and meeting her at Hot Import Nights.
(I sorta stood out, being a white guy and all.)
June 23rd, 2008 at 06:53 pm
She is hot. Never watched the show personally but I'ld hit it. I like the whores!
June 23rd, 2008 at 07:00 pm
Kevin,
The idiocracy is already here. What made the US great is now pretty much dead.
June 23rd, 2008 at 07:07 pm
HAHAHA, this is GREAT! I'm betting cold hard cash that a woman wrote this article, can tell by the words used and the obvious envy dripping from the tone. Honestly, I didn't know who this person was until I read this article. How could that be, you ask?
Because only someone who spends as much time online as Tila could possibly be bothered to write an article about Tila, good or bad. So here we are, a writer at Holy Taco. How many more hours a day on Myspace could Tila possibly spend than you do here in the 'blogosphere' ?
The only difference in the two of you I can see: she succeeded, you didn't.
June 23rd, 2008 at 07:14 pm
Does anyone stop and think about this? She is "oh-so into both men, AND women"...WOW...there's really NO COINCIDENCE HERE, men just hate it when 3'9" WEAK whores make out with other girls. Also, the bitch probably doesn't know shit about cars...she only poses to be that down-to-earth auto gal TO ATTRACT MORE DUMBFUCK COCK MEN. Dicks, you are only living up to your name by admitting you'd "hit that."
"Women" like tila bring out the Neanderthal-dumb-fuck-instincts that some men still hold.
June 23rd, 2008 at 07:24 pm
...why the fuck are you on this page then?
June 23rd, 2008 at 07:53 pm
All women are freaky with the right person but she's a superfreak with both sexes. Don't hate on her though. She's hot enough. I definitely wouldn't kick her out of my bed. I would just have to make it clear that it was purely sexual. No one wants to get old with a brainless whore though. Looks don't last forever.
June 23rd, 2008 at 07:57 pm
Hmmmm I would totally hit that Bobble headed Bratz© wannabe....
and you would too.
June 23rd, 2008 at 07:58 pm
Maybe I've been in Asia too long but, if I saw her working a bar I would definitely hit on it
June 23rd, 2008 at 08:28 pm
"The only difference in the two of you I can see: she succeeded, you didn’t."
Succeeded in looking like a cross between RuPaul and a Keebler elf, maybe.
June 23rd, 2008 at 08:48 pm
She is nasty I do agree! Especially about her being four-foot gremlin-faced whore. If some people were thinking she is hot or that they would want to sleep with her then I guess there are always truly desperate people in the world...
June 23rd, 2008 at 08:57 pm
i think tila is awesome, leave her alone, she's really pretty.
June 23rd, 2008 at 08:58 pm
funny read, however, i wish to challenge some factual information please.
you say "she was in a bunch of stuff you've never heard of" or very similar to...
my point is if you would have ever read a "tuner_car" type magazine you might have seen her as a tuner model years before she did stuff mag, when she created her myspace, she instantly had an influx of car guys and fans that saw her model.
PS, when she first hit the scene, her breasts looked better, and she was less gremlinish. Also, being short never hampered her career, and time will tell if her head is connected properly.
June 23rd, 2008 at 09:16 pm
I Think she is cute!
She once played at the Asianmodelpalooza Festival and was Great!
http://www.asianmodelpalooza.com
June 23rd, 2008 at 09:20 pm
NO TALENT HACK!!!
June 23rd, 2008 at 09:35 pm
Eh, ok bod, but fugly face. I wouldn't hit it, yeah I got a pair.
So all you guys that would hit it are bi, right? Cause saying you'd hit it cause it's something to hit implies that you hit anything as long as it was squishy. And if you'd hit a no brains/talentless/fuck her way to the top/ugly ass biatch like that you would surly hit the goatse guy from the back.
Have fun fucking the most popular idiot evar! Then maybe after you drop your load, you'll look at her face and realize everything everyone is trying to say here, cause we all know after the load is dropped reality ensues.
June 23rd, 2008 at 09:40 pm
"Especially when they are four-foot gremlin-faced whores?" I'm not really a fan of Tequila, but opening with a biased statement like that just kills your credibility. Learn how to write, you look like an asshole.
June 23rd, 2008 at 09:49 pm
It's called jealously people. You don't have to watch her, but YOU DO...so again 25 million people can't be wrong. So, even though you hate her, welcome to her fan base!
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:13 pm
uhh. well actually. she started out as an import model. like. i guess as an asian teenager at the time i really liked her, so i friended her. she also did stuff like playboy before that whole stuff magazine myspace thing.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:14 pm
oh and btw. i remember when i found out people were calling her tila tequila i was kinda annoyed by it. TILA NGUYEN PEOPLE! TILA NGUYEN!
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:53 pm
She's got a bangin' body if you're into midgets but her face is totally fucked up. Paper bag that shit.
She's right up there with Jessica Simpson, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Jennifer Garner on my list of incredibly unhot women who walk around like hot shit.
It's like people are afraid to admit they're fugly just because the collective says otherwise (read: good marketing).
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:58 pm
The author resorts to writing up pointless articles about other peoples' undeserved rise to fame because the local newspaper refused to even mention his name for fear that it might recall disturbing images of a geek whose features bare striking resemblance to that of a common toad.
No, but seriously you must have something better to do?
June 24th, 2008 at 12:44 am
I would like to sticky my dicky up Tila's asscunt. I bet her nasty pussy smell like cum and shit and vomit mixed with gabage and rotting garbage. imagine that smell in your fucking nostrils you bastards!
June 24th, 2008 at 02:18 am
GOOD GOING GIRL :} YOUR NOT STUPID :}
June 24th, 2008 at 02:20 am
I work with a bunch of vietnamese women that all look like Tila Tequila. Moon faced little elves with the body of a 10 year old boy, bad english, acne (from the western diet no doubt) and all have tiny-necked ladyboy husbands with bad teeth.
Tila is so lame, but at least she relishes her lameness. She now seems to think she's too good to show off her furry zinger to the camera so all of her non-playboy porn is just shots of her silicone boobies. Sorry Tila Nguyen, there's no such thing as a viet girl with big tits, yer not fooling anybody.
June 24th, 2008 at 02:33 am
Well, I'd never heard of her, then this article came along. So now she's a bit more famous. So why is she famous? Because of you. Way to object.
June 24th, 2008 at 02:36 am
I love comments made by the defenders/critics like AnalJustice who apparently believe that this author does not have the right/a point/anything better to do in writing this article. They make it sound as though this article's criticism is misplaced or undeserved. I have only one question for these people: Have you ever watched the reality show Tila agreed to star in?
Had she never stepped in front of the camera and agreed to host the degrading acts that the "contestants" on her television show must perform I would have been more sympathetic to that criticism. Two minutes of watching that crap and she deserves everything these people are dishing out and more.
Is my english okay? You folks also tend to criticize grammar.
June 24th, 2008 at 03:00 am
She's gorgeous
Her 4 foot body I'd love to have jump up and down on my pogo
June 24th, 2008 at 03:50 am
"four-foot gremlin-faced whore"
man i hope that makes her cry that black spackle on her eyes right down her pointless frenchfry of a body.
what a generic twit. so what if she likes girls and boys both, only in a backwards ass country like fratboy land would that be considered remotely radical. hurry off the media stage and go sling drinks in some douchebag bar, hey, wanna do some shots with me? fuck no.
and to all who say "yeah but I'd hit it"
you just got VD for even thinking that
June 24th, 2008 at 03:55 am
Listen in everybody. I went to high school with Tila.
Here in Houston /tx in a little ghetto are4a we all ALIEF.
She was a slut sine high shool and still a fob. We had psychology and calculus together.
Since she was too ool she wouldn't talk to me. Now look at her she needs the atention and talks to those who have money. If I had money then would she talk to me? Would she even remember who I am? Doubt it. She is in the4 little world she;'s been wanting and now that she has it it will not last long anough. IT was Hastings High School!!!!!
IT is a surprise to see how the hell he got her own show o MTV.
Before all of the exposure she got, she used to show her ass in front of cars
posing as a car model. Later progressed making some nude work to reach her hungry starve fame. I don't see what any people up high there thought this FOB
annoying, and fake Asian is even worth earning that money,
She comes from am already rich Vietnamese family so they helped her, spolied her and since they didnt speak good english what-so-ever. You get the point how she now bacame that high school slut nto a bigger slut with shitty sense of clothing.
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