In all my years of studying douchebaggery, never have i encountered anything like this. It's such pure and unadulterated douche that I wish I could bottle it and use just a drop of it at a time.
The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco (known for being a popular hang out for douches), and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said "give me a call." The above is the messages he left. Listen to the whole thing, it just keeps getting better and better. I won't even tell you my favorite parts because i don't want to ruin anything. Just listen.
These voicemails are part of a viral marketing campaign for a documentary about Dimitri The Lover. I am sure of it because I live in Toronto and both my friend and I were interviewed for the documentary back in July. We were walking down the street and some film crew asked us to see some movie footage of Dimitri talking and give an opinion on camera. You can hear clues in the voicemails that they are staged, such as when he kinda tries not to laugh at certain parts, mentions the film he is working on in another part, and goes way over the top to absurd proportions in the second voicemail. I work at a marketing company and all of my colleagues feel that the way in which these "viral voicemails" were released was meant to create months of notoriety during the lead up to the film. It's quite brilliant! I can't wait to see myself on camera!!! Also, I saw Dimitri in person during the filming. He's very attractive and appeared to be quite charming when chatting with women. One of the production assistants told me that he is a "really nice guy" and quite "harmless".
ROTFL !!! I went on a coffee date with "Dimitri The Lover". I didn't know who he was until my roomate told me about the voicemails today. He approached me while I was walking around in Kensington Market this weekend and we smooched over coffee. I thought he was some romantic Greek gigilo. He promised to "awaken" my "inner slut" this coming weekend. I'm totally intrigued. I'm spending the next few days building up the nerve to go through with it. My gf's want a detailed report with a lovemaking rating out of 10 (lol). Oh, and today I asked him whether the voicemails were "viral marketing". He refused to discuss it with me (something about being barred from talking until after the movie is released--yah, right). I don't care though, just sick and tired of the same lame guys on campus. This girl needs some loving!!! If I don't post a follow up next week, call the police!
"...I was walking around in Kensington Market this weekend and we smooched over coffee. I thought he was some romantic Greek gigilo. He promised to "awaken" my "inner slut" this coming weekend."
Wait. I'm confused. How is 'smooching' with a stranger over coffee not a slut?
In any case...if you say smooching and your over the age of 13, your a douche too.
Unless you say something like "Smooch my penis bitch!".
Or in your case: "Smooch my clit you douche!"
10 out of 10 in bed, and a total sweetheart! I made the mistake of telling a couple of classmates, and now they think I'm a total slut. I don't care what they think. Dimitri The Lover is AWESOME!!!
Back in July he was already an internet phenomenon as the result of these viral videos. Check out the date of the first story, well over a year before they interviewed you.
You are wrong Liza. these voicemails first surfaced at the beginning of June, around the time when filming was already taking place in Toronto. I know for a fact because I was walking down Bloor Street in June and saw Dimitri The Lover with a camera crew in tow. For all I know, they could have been filming for weeks. Amanda is right. It is too coincidental. I study film at Ryerson, so I know it takes several months to plan out the making of a film. There is no way that Dimitri could have gotten together a film crew within a few days of the voicemails surfacing in order to "take advantage of the exposure". There were about a dozen people, they all looked very professional, had a huge van, and there were at least 3 cameramen filming Dimitri from various angles. It would have to be the biggest coincidence on the face of the Earth if the voicemails surfaced unrelated to the film.
Actually, he's right. It is too coincidental. I was visiting Toronto from Ottawa in the summer and was approached. I declined, but realized after the fact what it was for.
This voicemail is none other than "Dimitri The Lover", a seduction guru, physician, and performance artist from Toronto. If you go to http://dimitrithelover.com/TRMannouncement.html you can read the latest newsletter from his anti-metrosexual group, the "Toronto Real Men". Then go to his web site and click on the MEDIA CENTRE and listen to a radio interview where the voice is exactly the same. The guy is hilarious and a total expert with the ladies.
This guy is famous in Toronto. Most people know he's just putting on an act, but women buy into it and from what I hear, he gets laid lots. After reading the Toronto Real Men announcement above, I've decided to attend the next meeting. I want to be like Dimitri. I wish I could be like him. Women eat that shit right up.
Also, I just voted for James "Dimitri The Lover" Sears as Toronto's 2008 Supervillain of the year. I want this guy to win. You can vote by clicking the link below then looking in the box on the right side for his name. Choose him then click "VOTE" at the bottom of the list: http://torontoist.com/2008/12/heroes_and_villains_2008_the_vote.php
This is a horrible message and the guy is a total self-centered lunatic, but I do have to be fair and ask why she gave him her number if she had no intention of talking to him again?
.... a....... I..... wha....
and here I thought "Crossing Over'''s John Edwards was the biggest douche in the universe (yay dated south park refrence). The sad sad thing is that I know someone like this, well a younger version of this. This is the kind of well-honed douche baggary that takes years of being a douche whilst always searching how to be a douchier douche a baggier bag. He understands that to be a true douche bag, one cannot just have delusions of grandeur "I'm quite a catch"; cannot just be a presumptive dick "Maybe your mother has cancer"; cannot just be just plain arrogant "You shouldn't give someone your number and say call me and not return their calls"; and cannot just throw arbitrary threats at people "if you don't call me back..."; Dimitri here understands that to be a fully realized douche bag you have to embrace all of these and more.
It sucks for any other Dimitri's in the greater southern California area who look mildly greek, they've been officially black listed by this Ultra Douche Bag.
"I'm working on a movie script" at least he didn't claim to be a writer.
"I'm erasing [your number now]" ten bucks says he didn't
WOW, when I saw the word douchiest I was skeptical, but you're 100% right. This has got to be the douchiest douche bag on the planet. Thanks for posting this has made my day way better.
If this guy is for real i wish he would have a reality show. I hate television but I would love to see this guys trainwreck of a life. He would make all the other freaks look like normal human beings.
This has to be a total fake. Nobody could possibly be this much of a douchebag, loser, jerk, ass, jerkoff, dink, retard, brain damaged freak, sociopath, psycopath, total nutcase, Every negative work you could come up with would be descriptive of this creep. Turn him into the police, there are probably bodies of dead women littering the path of this lunatics path through life.
Wow. What a dork. I checked out www.dimitrithelover.com and it is in fact him. There is a radio interview with the guy and he has the exact same voice as the guy in the message to olga. Does he know how rediculous he sounds? Someone should send him the link to this post so he can hear himself...
Oh my God. That was a train wreck. I'm Greek and when he said he was Greek I was just shaking my head in shame. He's a freaken Toronto Greek Douchebag too. Anyways awesome clip!
P.S. Here's the Greek word for Wanker dedicated to Dimitri.
Well, if Jeffrey Dahmer's neighbors said "He was shy, a little withdrawn. But not real bizarre, and that he never bothered anyone." we can assume this guy is totally harmless.
He sure sounds like a wacko but be assured there are women out there that dig these kind of guys.
Oh my lord, oh my freaking lord, I wouldn't even smack this guy, I would laugh and laugh at him till he threw up, I have never ever heard anything even close to being as douchy as this. And Hahahaha at Bostonlongstroke's response!!
Where in the Hell can you buy douchebags anymore and also, it's the scum and shit inside them that I love to sip down for breakfast in the mornings, so dont let this story confuse you from the facts!,..BUUUURRRRRRP!
(1326 Comments)
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June 27th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
What a fucking faggot and a moron to boot. I hope he gets raped by dogs.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I found a clip of Dimitri The Lover speaking. It starts at about 11:30 and goes on for over 9 minutes. I worship the ground this guy walks on:
http://blip.tv/file/1896366
February 24th, 2009 at 09:23 am
THIS GUY ROCKS!!! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!! After reading this announcement, now I wish I lived in Toronto: http://torontorealmen.com
December 21st, 2008 at 01:58 pm
These voicemails are part of a viral marketing campaign for a documentary about Dimitri The Lover. I am sure of it because I live in Toronto and both my friend and I were interviewed for the documentary back in July. We were walking down the street and some film crew asked us to see some movie footage of Dimitri talking and give an opinion on camera. You can hear clues in the voicemails that they are staged, such as when he kinda tries not to laugh at certain parts, mentions the film he is working on in another part, and goes way over the top to absurd proportions in the second voicemail. I work at a marketing company and all of my colleagues feel that the way in which these "viral voicemails" were released was meant to create months of notoriety during the lead up to the film. It's quite brilliant! I can't wait to see myself on camera!!! Also, I saw Dimitri in person during the filming. He's very attractive and appeared to be quite charming when chatting with women. One of the production assistants told me that he is a "really nice guy" and quite "harmless".
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
ROTFL !!! I went on a coffee date with "Dimitri The Lover". I didn't know who he was until my roomate told me about the voicemails today. He approached me while I was walking around in Kensington Market this weekend and we smooched over coffee. I thought he was some romantic Greek gigilo. He promised to "awaken" my "inner slut" this coming weekend. I'm totally intrigued. I'm spending the next few days building up the nerve to go through with it. My gf's want a detailed report with a lovemaking rating out of 10 (lol). Oh, and today I asked him whether the voicemails were "viral marketing". He refused to discuss it with me (something about being barred from talking until after the movie is released--yah, right). I don't care though, just sick and tired of the same lame guys on campus. This girl needs some loving!!! If I don't post a follow up next week, call the police!
March 27th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
"...I was walking around in Kensington Market this weekend and we smooched over coffee. I thought he was some romantic Greek gigilo. He promised to "awaken" my "inner slut" this coming weekend."
Wait. I'm confused. How is 'smooching' with a stranger over coffee not a slut?
In any case...if you say smooching and your over the age of 13, your a douche too.
Unless you say something like "Smooch my penis bitch!".
Or in your case: "Smooch my clit you douche!"
March 19th, 2009 at 10:55 am
10 out of 10 in bed, and a total sweetheart! I made the mistake of telling a couple of classmates, and now they think I'm a total slut. I don't care what they think. Dimitri The Lover is AWESOME!!!
January 23rd, 2009 at 02:06 pm
Back in July he was already an internet phenomenon as the result of these viral videos. Check out the date of the first story, well over a year before they interviewed you.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:17 am
You are wrong Liza. these voicemails first surfaced at the beginning of June, around the time when filming was already taking place in Toronto. I know for a fact because I was walking down Bloor Street in June and saw Dimitri The Lover with a camera crew in tow. For all I know, they could have been filming for weeks. Amanda is right. It is too coincidental. I study film at Ryerson, so I know it takes several months to plan out the making of a film. There is no way that Dimitri could have gotten together a film crew within a few days of the voicemails surfacing in order to "take advantage of the exposure". There were about a dozen people, they all looked very professional, had a huge van, and there were at least 3 cameramen filming Dimitri from various angles. It would have to be the biggest coincidence on the face of the Earth if the voicemails surfaced unrelated to the film.
February 5th, 2009 at 04:49 pm
lol you sound like Dimitri. Jesus Christ.
February 10th, 2009 at 09:35 am
Actually, he's right. It is too coincidental. I was visiting Toronto from Ottawa in the summer and was approached. I declined, but realized after the fact what it was for.
December 18th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
This voicemail is none other than "Dimitri The Lover", a seduction guru, physician, and performance artist from Toronto. If you go to http://dimitrithelover.com/TRMannouncement.html you can read the latest newsletter from his anti-metrosexual group, the "Toronto Real Men". Then go to his web site and click on the MEDIA CENTRE and listen to a radio interview where the voice is exactly the same. The guy is hilarious and a total expert with the ladies.
December 30th, 2008 at 05:10 pm
This guy is famous in Toronto. Most people know he's just putting on an act, but women buy into it and from what I hear, he gets laid lots. After reading the Toronto Real Men announcement above, I've decided to attend the next meeting. I want to be like Dimitri. I wish I could be like him. Women eat that shit right up.
Also, I just voted for James "Dimitri The Lover" Sears as Toronto's 2008 Supervillain of the year. I want this guy to win. You can vote by clicking the link below then looking in the box on the right side for his name. Choose him then click "VOTE" at the bottom of the list: http://torontoist.com/2008/12/heroes_and_villains_2008_the_vote.php
June 27th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Wow....and all this time I thought Survivor's Jeff Probst was the douchiest of douche bags. Wait, he did kinda sound like Jeff Probst.......
June 27th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
This is a horrible message and the guy is a total self-centered lunatic, but I do have to be fair and ask why she gave him her number if she had no intention of talking to him again?
June 17th, 2009 at 09:24 am
My guess is that she was so offended by the first message she didn't want to see him again. Not so surprising is it?
June 27th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
If some1 calles another person a gay faggot... does that mean that he's adressing him or her as a heterosexual?
April 13th, 2009 at 08:05 pm
What does that have to do with anything?
June 27th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
.... a....... I..... wha....
and here I thought "Crossing Over'''s John Edwards was the biggest douche in the universe (yay dated south park refrence). The sad sad thing is that I know someone like this, well a younger version of this. This is the kind of well-honed douche baggary that takes years of being a douche whilst always searching how to be a douchier douche a baggier bag. He understands that to be a true douche bag, one cannot just have delusions of grandeur "I'm quite a catch"; cannot just be a presumptive dick "Maybe your mother has cancer"; cannot just be just plain arrogant "You shouldn't give someone your number and say call me and not return their calls"; and cannot just throw arbitrary threats at people "if you don't call me back..."; Dimitri here understands that to be a fully realized douche bag you have to embrace all of these and more.
It sucks for any other Dimitri's in the greater southern California area who look mildly greek, they've been officially black listed by this Ultra Douche Bag.
"I'm working on a movie script" at least he didn't claim to be a writer.
"I'm erasing [your number now]" ten bucks says he didn't
June 27th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
This DoocheBAG is from Toronto lol DOOCHE----BAG!DOOCHE----BAG!DOOCHE---
June 27th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
WOW, when I saw the word douchiest I was skeptical, but you're 100% right. This has got to be the douchiest douche bag on the planet. Thanks for posting this has made my day way better.
June 27th, 2008 at 09:57 pm
i would beat the crap out of this guy if i ever saw him in the street. fucking douche bag.
June 27th, 2008 at 09:52 pm
If this guy is for real i wish he would have a reality show. I hate television but I would love to see this guys trainwreck of a life. He would make all the other freaks look like normal human beings.
June 27th, 2008 at 09:41 pm
This has to be a total fake. Nobody could possibly be this much of a douchebag, loser, jerk, ass, jerkoff, dink, retard, brain damaged freak, sociopath, psycopath, total nutcase, Every negative work you could come up with would be descriptive of this creep. Turn him into the police, there are probably bodies of dead women littering the path of this lunatics path through life.
June 27th, 2008 at 09:37 pm
Wow. What a dork. I checked out www.dimitrithelover.com and it is in fact him. There is a radio interview with the guy and he has the exact same voice as the guy in the message to olga. Does he know how rediculous he sounds? Someone should send him the link to this post so he can hear himself...
June 27th, 2008 at 09:30 pm
Well, I found some more information on our friend Dmitri here. He's a psycho.
http://jezebel.com/5020419/dimitri-the-lovers-history-of-sexual-assault-...
June 27th, 2008 at 09:27 pm
swalti, you're a genious. This is HILARIOUS.
June 27th, 2008 at 09:24 pm
Oh my God. That was a train wreck. I'm Greek and when he said he was Greek I was just shaking my head in shame. He's a freaken Toronto Greek Douchebag too. Anyways awesome clip!
P.S. Here's the Greek word for Wanker dedicated to Dimitri.
"Malaka"
June 27th, 2008 at 09:18 pm
If this turns out to be viral marketing, I'm going to be seriously pissed.
June 27th, 2008 at 09:02 pm
Doosh baag !!
HAHAHAHAHA¬!¬!!
June 27th, 2008 at 08:57 pm
tell me this isn't the same guy http://www.DimitriTheLover.com/
June 27th, 2008 at 08:52 pm
This is the road: uber douchebag > stalker > rapist > serial killer.
And Mr.Dmitri right here is definately traveling the fast lane.
June 27th, 2008 at 08:46 pm
This Guy is a SERIAL KILLER!!!!:):):):)
June 27th, 2008 at 08:41 pm
There is no way this is real! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Words cannot even describe how ridiculous he is!
June 27th, 2008 at 08:41 pm
I have a three inch penis...this guy sounds like his is even smaller than mine
June 27th, 2008 at 08:35 pm
This man is a dick. Laying down rules and deadlines? Are you serious?
Only one thing needs to be said to this manbitch..."NEXT TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH, I WILL END YOUR LIFE!"
June 27th, 2008 at 08:24 pm
Well, if Jeffrey Dahmer's neighbors said "He was shy, a little withdrawn. But not real bizarre, and that he never bothered anyone." we can assume this guy is totally harmless.
He sure sounds like a wacko but be assured there are women out there that dig these kind of guys.
Maybe not Olga :-|
June 27th, 2008 at 08:16 pm
tool bag
June 27th, 2008 at 08:11 pm
of course hes a moron and a douche......hes greek!!
June 27th, 2008 at 08:08 pm
Oh my lord, oh my freaking lord, I wouldn't even smack this guy, I would laugh and laugh at him till he threw up, I have never ever heard anything even close to being as douchy as this. And Hahahaha at Bostonlongstroke's response!!
June 27th, 2008 at 08:08 pm
I'm greek too, but this guy is the exact reason why i don't hang out with greek people....
June 27th, 2008 at 08:00 pm
what a fat fucking greek cunt. i hope a car runs over him
June 27th, 2008 at 07:56 pm
it's san francisco, what else would u expect. everyone there has their head up their asses.
June 27th, 2008 at 07:53 pm
there goes 4 min 27 seconds of my life i'll never get back.
June 27th, 2008 at 07:50 pm
this is the kind of guy that would pay Mystery or any of those others 4000$ to teach him how to meet women
June 27th, 2008 at 07:42 pm
This is funny but bogus. The back story says san Francisco but the meesage says 416 which is Toronto
June 27th, 2008 at 07:40 pm
WARNING...this stops being funny:
He has access to womens personal medical records...
His real name is James Spears, a discredited medical doctor.
His site is here:
http://www.secondopinion.ca/criminal.html
...warn friends and family in the Toronto area!
December 19th, 2008 at 01:21 pm
That page has way too many animated GIFs to be anything but completely insane.
June 27th, 2008 at 07:39 pm
LOL i wonder why hes single :P
June 27th, 2008 at 07:24 pm
Where in the Hell can you buy douchebags anymore and also, it's the scum and shit inside them that I love to sip down for breakfast in the mornings, so dont let this story confuse you from the facts!,..BUUUURRRRRRP!